3 – From the Mouths of Broken Tombs

Subject 2905 leapt with all of his might off a steep ledge and plummeted towards the narrow, blue-rimmed portal emanating against the porcelain white floor below; passing through it, he emerged with tremendous velocity from the second portal on an adjoining wall, effectively traversing a great gap high above an acid pool.

Turrets flanked him, and a single turret lay directly ahead of him. He locked eyes with the forward turret, whose sights had tracked him ceaselessly as he flew. Per the testing rules, as long as any turret saw the particular pattern of the eyes on his mask, it would not shoot. The gauntlet of turrets he moved through now, however, gave no such favor.

He gritted his teeth and fought every natural impulse to look right or left while flying through the air as bangs and claps from the turrets' gunshots ripping through his wake made his heart race. When gravitation finally took over, breathing came to a momentary standstill. 2905 fell below sight of the turrets and safely into a protective cubicle without a single hit.

There was the door into the next sector of the test. It opened, and a companion cube fell from a ceiling port just on the other side just before a semicircle of turrets poised to fill 2905 full of holes. Thinking fast, he placed an orange portal onto the ceiling above, and hit the ground behind the cube just as the turrets began to fire. Peering around the left side, he locked eyes with one of the turrets, halting its fire, and then felled it through the ceiling by placing a blue portal below it.

The turret crashed into the others, toppling them like dominos and sending them into a hail of gunfire that left nearly every one of them in smoke, bits, and sparks. Subject 2905 rose from behind the cube, stared at the last standing turret, and energetically kicked the cube, toppling it instantly.

"Well, well, aren't we slow today?" GLaDOS said. "I know your mind is about as sharp as a ball bearing, but this is truly sad. Orange and Blue are so far ahead. They must really want that party."

His breathing was heavy, but, with no time to heed it, he ignored it and pressed onward. Calculus followed on a ceiling rail, sometimes high above, sometimes within a cube's throw from where he stood. Sometimes GLaDOS would project lasers from its eyes, and compare him to a kitten chasing a light.

As he approached the next test area, there was a sudden loss of power and darkness throughout the room. The machinery fell silent, and there was a terrible mechanical groan that must have been extraordinarily loud, and he only heard it muffled through many floors below.

Red lights flicked on with a low hum, though they cured the silence, it only became more eerie; most of the room was still in darkness. He looked around for Calculus, and saw three pinpoints of light high above him. Periodically, they would blink.

There was another groan, and a loud clash, this time very close. His heart pounded in his ears, causing him to nearly mistake his own heartbeat for further mechanical noises. He peered about with his portal gun ready. Silence. Then came a sound that he never expected to terrify him: footsteps.

Subject 2905 found himself backed against a ledge, nearly falling from it. He looked down at his feet only a moment, and when his gaze rose again there were the eyes of Calculus in the darkness ahead, arranged in an upside down triangle and level with him. The footsteps quickened, and the eyes came into the light, attached to a white mask, head, and neck. Never had he seen anything move so fast, and barely had time to see it, for the figure was upon him the moment he gasped.

He gave a cry, suddenly feeling weightless. Fearing he had been pushed over the ledge, he began to flail and look towards the floor to ready his landing with the longfall boots. Instead, he felt strong restraint from hands that grasped him.

"Quit kicking, Weird-Eyes, I don't want a boot to the gut. Don't want to break one of these gel grenades and get us both tossed over the edge do ya?"

Subject 2905 brought his gaze towards his chest, and saw a gloved hand holding onto him. Following the arm, he found it led to a heavily armored chest, where a glowing Aperture insignia was perched like a star. The chest armor was very familiar, but it didn't register at first. Three circular, pinpoint glowing eyes were set above it, and the light from 2905's eyes revealed a plaster white mask similar to his own. It looked fixed in an expression of diabolical laughter, with depressions extending from below the eyes down to the chin that created an exaggerated smile.

"I know she talks through you she does it with all of us. Where is she I've got a message I know she'll want to hear."

"W- who are-?" Subject 2905 asked.

He saw the white light of his own mask reflecting off the stranger turn yellow, and GLaDOS spoke.

"This is impossible! How are you alive?"

Subject 2905 felt a slap across his face.

"Impossible when it's staring you in the face? Wow you're hard to convince; sorry Weird-Eyes I hate her as you can see those hard feelings'll pass if you walk it off. Worked for me and look at me I'm doing just fine. I've been put through it all!"

"No! Something helped you. I discarded you. I killed you!"

"Your Court Jester is back, your Wretchedness! Dead-Eyes has been busy actually what am I saying we all have."

Jester tossed Subject 2905 away from the ledge and safely, yet painfully, onto the floor. No sooner had he landed when Jester was at his side, kneeling over him and staring only inches away from his face. Suddenly he recognized what his strange new acquaintance wore, but at first he did not believe it: a HEV? From Black Mesa? No; there was an Aperture insignia.

"Not really an upgrade your mask is hard to look at." Remarked Jester. "If she's trying to prove we're stupid I guess she wants you to look the part."

"Get back!" Subject 2905 shouted, more as a reflex than a conscious choice.

Jester jumped and caught him by the leg. "Ah-ah-ah! I only gave you half the message. Now that I know she's listening you can hear the rest are you ready?"

"Let me go!"

Jester kicked him harshly. "Oh I'm sorry little buddy am I keeping you from the deathtraps? Not to worry they'll be waiting soon as we're done." He knelt down with one boot pressed on 2905's chest, and his mask inches from 2905's face.

"Aperture is going to burn. That's the message did you hear?"

Subject 2905 felt a sudden change of heart.

"How? Let me help."

"How dare you make threats?" GLaDOS retorted.

Jester smacked Subject 2905 across the mask again.

"Stop doing that!" 2905 cried.

"It's not me it's her you saw it."

GLaDOS was unfazed. "My merciless killing machines will send you-"

Smack.

"-and all your pathetic friends-"

Smack!

"I said stop!"

"-back into your tombs! And dead, this time."

Jester grabbed 2905 by the chin of his mask and looked at him closely. "Too late! We're already out and it's going to be nothing but destruction, death, decimation, and other things that start with 'D' all the way up to the ground level. It's a date see you soon."

Jester playfully kicked 2905's portal gun across the floor and turned to make his escape. Before passing out of sight, he looked over his shoulder.

"Sorry Weird-Eyes would take you if I could, but, tsk-tsk-tsk-" He tapped his spider-like fingers against his mask. "You're fraternizing with the enemy. Right now you're a fleshy security camera she's just gonna use to watch us coming. 'Dead-Eyes' is counting on it he's got a scheme cooking."

Subject 2905 sat up. He no idea how to do it, but felt that he must find the rest of these former test subjects and, at the very least, follow in their wake. As frightening as Jester was, at least they promised to go to the surface.

"Did you just offer him your help?" GLaDOS asked incredulously. "After that big breakfast I made you? Can't you see he's crazy and doesn't care at all about you?"