In this character drugs are involved. But to be clear: Drugs can be good and bad. Some drugs can help you, others will kill you. So please be careful. I hope that I did not shock too many off you, dear readers, when I made Angelus have cancer… There is a reason for the madness. I promise. But here is the new character, and please tell me, what you think. That always makes me very happy. And tell me, if there is any special ones from any off the Soulfinder books that you want to see in this story (Also people, whom are dead – I am good to make random things happen)

The dream is gone, but then there´s hope.

Tarzan

I´m like a shooting star, I´ve come so far I can´t go back to where I used to be.

Jasmine

Denmark – May 2015

"Angelus Cassandra Pendragon, I am doctor Helen Johnsen. I have looked over your results, and I am sorry to tell you that you have cancer. To be more preside you have cancer in ovarian. I am so sorry, but you will never be abletohave children again…" The doctor says. I am in shock. Cancer. I have cancer. How? I am young and healthy. I am 25 years old… How can I have cancer?

"This type of cancer is rare, but treatable, thought it will be a tough fight. The type of cancer, that you have, is rarely seen in young women in your age, but more likely in elder women in their 70´s or 80's. Why the differentness I do not know, but we will have to run some tests to figure that out. I do not hope that you are scared off needles." Dr. Johnsen says.

"No, I am an old addict, so no. But you are also one. An old addict." I say with a deep emptiness inside off me.

"How did you know?" She says.

"It takes one to know one." I say, and she laughs. I think that Helen and I are going to get along great.

"You are right: I am a former addict. Favorite drug?"

"I thought that doctors should not speak off such things." I say, and she snorts, where she after says: "Yeah, but in this case I think that breaking the rules are okay. My favorited drug was… is amphetamine. It…"

"I know. Mine is a mix of ecstasy and mushrooms… Ecstasy gives one this feeling of harmony, love, peace and a connection with other people. Mushrooms give almost the same, but with more of an 'out-of-the-body-experience'. It is… amazing, but mix it with the mushrooms… wow. That was my preferred drug, but my favorite… that is devil sprit."

"Devil sprit? I have never heard about it."

"Yeah, it is rare. But… ooh my god. Let us just say that I fight not to begin again, just because of that. It makes you feel like that you can do anything, and it gives you such off extra power – Mentally and physically. And at the same time you get this rush, you know. It is just amazing."

"How long have you been clean?"

"Since I was 18, which makes it the 8 years this year. What about you?"

"2 and a half. But there does not go a day, where I do not miss that potion." She says, and I laugh.

"I get it. I truly do." I say with deep sorrow in my soul. Where is my other half, when I need it? Away…

USA – September 2017

"Jessie, will you get the door?" I yell to my now 9 year old daughter. Times goes quickly… Sometimes too quickly, if you ask me.

"I am busy. Me and Daniel are playing with toys. Make someone else." She yells back. I smile and yell back: "Daniel and me, Jessie. Daniel and me." Moving to USA was the best idea that I have ever had. It is, what is the best for my family, though I vowed never to move to America, but I... well, that is not the first thing I have sacrificed, or the first vow that I have broken for the sake of my family, nor will it be the last, if I do know my family right. I open the door, and on the other side is Will Benedict. Wow, that boy has grown hotter, since I last saw him two years ago.

"You are not the pizza deliver." I say. Will is staring. Properly wondering, what I am during here myself. Why is he here? Could it be… that he is here to pick up Lucy and Nadia, my two roommates. Well, like normal roommate, we live in the same house and share the rent – You know like the ones that you had in collage. Lucy is a fierce red haired woman, whom is the only 'true' American in this house – Well, her and her son. Nadia is a bit younger than Lucy with her 27 year (Lucy is 29, but if anyone asks about that, they will not make it through the night)… Nadia moved till America from Russia after meeting Lucy on the internet – Love at first set. Lucy has a little boy at the same age as Jessie. They are soulfinders, and very cute together. His name is Daniel, and he has this on believable cute accent.

"Whatever, mother. Me and Daniel. Daniel and me. It is the same thing." Jessie says. She is a little fierce lady already.

"No, it is no same thing, Jessie." I yell back.

"Do you want to come in, while you are forced to wait on the ladies, who have to be fashionable late?" I say to Will with a big smile. Mostly fake.

"Yeah, whatever you just said." He says.

"You did not listen at all, did you?"

"Nope."

"Does any Benedict listen?"

"Nope. Why listen, when you are right?" Will says, and I laugh.

"None off you would ever need someone to take care of your ego, would you?"

"Well… our egos are not as big, as we pretend they are. Just almost… May I be so bold to say something?"

"Go ahead."

"Wow, where is the bitchy Angelus that everyone loved to hate?"

"She died. Tragic accident, what a loss? I am no longer a self-righteous piece off ass that I used to be. I am still a bitch, but one needs to start in the small and work the way up." Will´s staring grow even more. What is wrong?

"Wow, you has really, really changed."

"Yeah, for the better I hope to believe." I say with sarcasm.

"She changed for the better." Zaccy says. I see him walk forwards Will and me. I smile. This time without faking anything. When he is close enough, he reaches out for me, so he can pull me closer. I look at him and smiles. Zaccy meant a whole new beginning for me. I do not know what I would do without him. Yeah, it is not ideal, but we make it work. Zaccy´s soulfinder, Juliet, is dead. Mine is… I do not even know anymore. Last that I heard, he and Emma were still a couple, thought that it was a while ago. But that is his choose. I have moved on. I am glad that he has too…

"Please, all the changes can be traced back to this guy. I do not know what to do without him…" I say with deep passion.

"You will never find out." Zaccy says.

'I love you.' I tell him telepathic, due to the fact that we are not alone.

'I love you more.'

'I love you most.' Zaccy says. Will just keeps staring at us. It is kind off creepy.

"Take a picture. Please, and stop staring at my girlfriend and I." Zaccy says and kiss me. It would be perfect, if Will had not been staring at us, and then Juliet started crying. We break apart with a sight.

"I will go get her." Zaccy says and leaves the room after another kiss.

"Will, how are you family?" I ask to be kind to him.

"They are good. Anyone is busy with something. Trace and Diamond are having their first child. Uriel and Tarryn are in England to visit Misty and Alex. Victor is very busy with Alistair, his son, after Emma left. Me? I am working along with Victor in the FBI. Xav and Crystal are in New York – They are almost done with their school time. They only have a few weeks left. Yves and Phee are busy with school – same is Zed and Sky. My parents are planning a vacation to England. That is pretty most it." Will says. But it did not pass me that Victor is single, because Emma left him. Last time that I spoke to her, she told that she would never leave him. I guess that she learn that a life without love sucks. I sight and say: "What about are there a special someone in your life?"

"No really."

"So there is. Who is she? Or is it a he?"

"You are good. It is a he." Will says and blushes.

"Tell me all about it." I say.

"Well, he is amazing. He and I have been out a few times, but I do not know…"

"Ooh, come on. You are totally in love over your head. What is wrong with a little love? No one says it has to be forever."

"Well, my parents think that I should think about finding my soulfinder and live the whole 'forever and ever' thing."

"But you are not interested in that, are you? Will, you are so young. You should go out and have fun. Please, you can worry about the future later. Now it is the present."

"Thank you, Angelus. May I ask you something?"

"Hit me with you best shoot."

"Why are you with this 'Zaccy', when Victor is your soulfinder?" Will asks just, as Victor inters the house with a: "Will, what is taken so… Angelus." I am in shock. I have not seen Victor, since last fall… But as Victor inters into the house, Zaccy inters with little Juliet in his arms. Victor says: "Angel, please. Just listen… I…" But Zaccy cuts him off: "Victor Benedict, you stay away from her, do hear me? Stay away from her. She is with me now, which you just got to accept. So stay away from her."