9 – Who's she?
"Why would you be friends with that traitor?" Jester exclaimed, clawing ferociously at 2905's jumpsuit and mask as they continued to struggle through the testing level. Subject 2905 managed not to fall into acid after being pulled into the portal by Jester. Now, he was resisting being relentlessly beaten and scratched by Jester in his mad fury. Jester's sighting of Calculus had set him into a horrid frenzy comparable to that of a rabid dog.
2905 bashed Jester across the face with his portal gun, and quickly rearranged a few portals to escape and elevate himself to a higher position.
"Calculus has never betrayed me." He gasped, and caught his breath.
Jester started plucking grenades off his vest again, and hurled them with deadly accuracy. "Liar! You give us Twenty-Nine series a bad name you've never seen him do it!"
2905 evaded the projectiles by hopping from platform to platform, taking precarious leaps across the acid sea as grenades shimmered past him in the blink of an eye.
"You've never seen what it's done but Dead Eyes saw. Oh yes! And done it all for that one-eyed witch!"
2905 was too tired from his continual leaping to even consider giving a coherent reply. Jester, however, seemed to have a limitless supply of energy and took to his heels to follow. With no portal assistance, Jester closed half the distance between them merely by acrobatics and sheer strength.
"You didn't know her and you didn't know how good she was. She would have saved us both you and me but no he had to kill her that's what he did!"
2905 looked around and tried to get his bearings. The room was very clearly lit, but the puzzle was so convoluted that just trying to deduce which level he was on became a mentally draining task. Platforms, lasers, and energy pellets constantly zoomed back and forth in an endless transformation like a kaleidoscope, and it was nearly all he could do to navigate without losing his footing.
Suddenly, Jester leapt from behind and tackled him. 2905 struck a passing platform travelling in the opposite direction, but Jester remained on the previous platform; as the former continued to move, the distance between them increased once more, and the two stood against one another in an ever-widening standoff.
Jester drew a grenade, and 2905 placed a portal between his own two boots. When Jester hurled the glass casing like a curveball, 2905 shot a portal at Jester's feet, and, with great hope that he wouldn't miss, caught the grenade out of the air. It was a blue gel grenade.
Looking down into the portal, 2905 stood firm and mustered his waning energy to cast the grenade at the brightly shining Aperture logo on Jester's HEV. His opponent was just starting to reach through the portal when there came a shattering of glass and blue goop spattered across his face.
2905 instantly shot a portal away from himself, hoping to disorient Jester further and prevent another close encounter. It landed some ways above them, on a stationary vertical panel.
Jester looked about and seemed to instantly formulate a plan. Before 2905 could choose a good spot to recast his portals, Jester had already dove through one and come out above him. Jester flew out into midair from the portal, landing on a very wide gel pipeline that twisted about through the puzzle. To 2905's horror, the pipeline curved directly above the path his own platform followed.
The footfalls of Jester's boots clanged noisily against the pipeline as he charged across it, making for 2905's platform. 2905 was running out of energy very quickly. His forehead was getting clammy, and his vitals were beginning to plummet; he was malnourished, overstimulated, and exhausted. He knew the battle with Jester could not continue forever, and GLaDOS knew this as well.
"I'm impressed. Not much, but it's not often my estimates are wrong." GLaDOS whispered in his ears. "Prepare to incapacitate 2903."
2905 had no idea what that meant, given that Jester had nearly caught up to him, and was preparing to dive and dropkick him into the ocean of acid. There was nowhere else to go, but 2905 steeled himself as Jester cackled loudly before hopping giddily off the pipeline.
"Gravity never runs out of ammo!" He cried, careening downwards.
2905 watched, terrified, with his foe accelerating towards him, but only for a fraction of a second. And then 2905 felt himself falling as well. He was perplexed as Jester seemed to momentarily stop moving, and the rest of the room began to shift upwards. 2905 cried out as he fell through a portal at his feet, and when his boots suddenly hit solid ground, the portal and Jester disappeared almost instantly.
A wave of relief washed away his fears, and even restored a portion of his vigor. Upon looking around, he found himself within the safe confines of a sort of cubby on the outer edge of the testing chamber. A hallway behind him led to an exit, and, beside him, was the towering, slender form of P-Body. The robot gave a friendly wave and seemed very pleased to have saved 2905 from Jester's deadly drop.
2905 also caught eye of Atlas placing portals in various places across the test. He could not tell in what way—strategically—they were being placed, partially because of the distance and also due to the convoluted makeup of the test. Only the blue streaks of the portal gun were discernable, flying through the air this way and that through the ever-shifting test.
P-Body pointed to 2905, and then towards the test. After making some kind of unintelligible robotic statement, she placed a portal at his feet.
2905 took a deep breath, and felt his heart sink when he saw P-Body place the second portal above him. For the next few seconds, he fell helplessly through the two vertical portals, gaining speed with steady and dramatic acceleration as if he were in infinite freefall above the surface of the Earth. And then he was suddenly released into a freefall, careening across a great gap and falling on a parabolic path.
While flying he observed, rising from some other portal, Jester flying straight up with a slightly weaker velocity. 2905 stretched out his arms, and kept his eyes fixed on Jester as those three pinpoint eyes finally caught sight of him. In his peripheral, 2905 could see the streak of another portal flying towards some unknown point, and after he and Jester collided brutally it became clear that the portal was their only safe exit.
Suddenly, 2905 saw Jester getting smaller and smaller. The blue gel had caused him to bounce backward, though Jester still headed for the portal! He looked down, and saw the kaleidoscope of whites, greys, blues and blacks, all of which suddenly gave way to a murky acid pool glaring up at him.
A platform slid by, with an open portal on it and the wide, benevolent blue eye of Atlas staring back. He held out both arms excitedly, and 2905 fell through the portal and landed clumsily in the robot's arms.
Jester was laying on the ground a short distance away, where P-Body was fearfully trying to put restraints on his ankles and wrists. The ankle-cuffs clicked together fine, but it was harder to cuff his hands. P-Body had never handcuffed a human before. Jester was just beginning to recollect his strength after the hard impact of his fall, and P-Body only barely got him restrained before he began to spout threats and writhe like a hooked trout in a canoe.
However, GLaDOS would not permit rest or recognize their triumph, for she was quick to demand that Jester be placed into an elevator. P-Body dragged him by pinching the collar of his HEV—seemingly afraid to touch him—and slid him kicking and screaming across the floor to the elevator.
"Don't do it Weird Eyes you've got to help me! They won't let you live they kill all of us it's what they do-"
"Wait a second."
P-Body stopped, and Jester continued wriggling in her clutches, trying unsuccessfully to head-butt her arm.
Atlas put Subject 2905 down. He stood shakily, and took another exhausted breath. "Who's 'she'? The one Calculus 'killed'?"
Jester grunted. "'Calculus'. Stupid name stupid subject never liked math."
"Who's 'she'?"
"…letters and formulas and figures never liked that Difference Quotient-"
Subject 2905 slapped Jester hard across his mask.
Jester stared. One of his eyes flickered, as if it was twitching.
"Weird Eyes you got a spine after all." He coughed and cricked his neck. "She was gonna lead us to the surface. She looked out for us. She was the best of us."
"Who was she?"
"I did not say to stop!" GLaDOS exclaimed. "Put him in the elevator. Now!"
Terrified, Atlas and P-Body followed her orders without a second thought more. Atlas restrained 2905, and P-Body thrust Jester into the capsule. The door slid shut, and Jester's piercing, shrill cries became instantly muffled by the cold steel. Once the elevator departed, a second one appeared immediately after, and GLaDOS ordered for 2905 to embark.
P-body and Atlas walked him to the doorway, and waved goodbye as the door closed. As he began to travel upward, his curiosity helped him muster a few dry, hoarse words.
"What now?"
"You need energy." Said GLaDOS. "I never thought I would wish you were a robot, but—in this instance—I do for time's sake. Come to the cafeteria for something for the next phase. My killing machines will go on without you for the time being."
"Will you tell me about the time you died?"
"I told you to stop asking about that…"