By Leela Starsky.
CHAPTER SIX
It was late in the afternoon when they reached their destination, a simple, but very beautiful waterfall. They could clearly see the point of origin where the artesian stream had broken through the rock wall, and now cascaded splendidly down the side of the hill to gather in a series of pools before feeding off into several smaller streams, which soon became indistinguishable from the surrounding bog. It was the first truly clean, fresh water flow Luke had seen on Dagobah and he regarded it in amazement, awed that he could feel its cleanness through the Force. Why hadn't Yoda brought him here before?
He looked for the Jedi Master and found him watching the princess. Belatedly, Luke looked to see her reaction and was surprised to see a mixture of awe and fear on her face.
With a shock, and a certain level of envy, Luke realised that this place was a kind of opposite to the cave under the tree Yoda had made him go into. The cave that was full of the Dark Side. This place was so full up with the Light Side it was almost blinding to a Force sensitive. To someone like Leia, who was intent on keeping the blast shield down on her Force-sense, it would be like turning on a light in a dark room.
"What is it?" she asked as he stepped up beside her.
"It's the Force, Leia," Luke told her. "Take a deep breath and let yourself feel it."
He watched as she closed her eyes and breathed deeply, felt a surge in her awareness, then she opened her eyes again and regarded the pool beside them with something akin to lust.
"I want to get in," she said in a low voice.
"In you must go," Yoda told her from his perch on a rock on the far side of the pool, and Luke watched with shock as Leia stripped to her underwear without hesitation, then walked into the pool.
…
Let yourself feel!
Han's words; now Luke's, were what overcome her reticence and let Leia open herself to the flow around her. It was almost tangible, like she could reach out and touch it, and walking into the water was like plunging into the flow of the Force itself.
The water was cold, fresh from under the ground, but Leia barely noticed it. She could feel the Force so clearly it amazed her that she had never consciously felt it before. She could feel the life teeming all around them and soon found herself able to distinguish Luke and Yoda from the clutter.
For a long time she wallowed in the flood. Like someone just given the gift of sight, Leia took the time to 'look around', and swiftly realised that visual references were highly inadequate for what she was feeling.
She felt like a god!
But like an inexperienced swimmer, the flood soon threatened to drown her, and she felt Yoda put a blanket around her senses, dampening the flow to a mere trickle. It was an agonising relief and Leia staggered out of the pool, shivering violently. Uncaring, she hurriedly pulled her dress on over her wet underclothes, then Han's jacket, then peered intently at the water while she struggled to pull her boots on.
A little way over, she could see that Luke had started a campfire, and she moved gratefully towards the warmth. He smiled at her and she felt him touch her mind. Leia recoiled instinctively. The only other touch she felt of that kind had been Vader's. On the Death Star.
Luke reached for her, apologising profusely, but Leia held up a hand to keep him at bay.
"It's all right," she told him. "I'm all right."
She moved in and hunkered down close to the fire, hugging her knees to her chest in an effort to warm herself up.
"Here," Luke said, and passed her a mug of hot soup.
Leia accepted it gratefully, doubly pleased when she realised it was the same soup she had enjoyed so much on the Falcon.
"Where's Yoda?" she asked, giving the area around them a cursory look while she sipped gingerly from the warm cup in her hands.
"He'll be back," Luke assured her.
Leia found herself feeling pleasantly unconcerned about the Jedi Master's whereabouts and concentrated on the warmth from the soup spreading through her body.
"How was the water?" Luke asked, and she could hear an element of teasing in his voice.
Leia smiled at him and admitted, "Cold." Then she added, "You were right, Luke. I should have listened to you."
Luke shook his head. "I can understand your fear of it, Leia. Especially after your experiences with Vader." He smiled reassuringly and said, "I'm just glad you can feel it at last." He looked around at the rapidly darkening forest. "It's like being able to see for the first time."
"It was stronger in the pool," Leia said. "Overwhelming." She took another sip of her soup then asked him, "Was it like that for you the first time you came here?"
"I've never been here before," Luke said.
Leia frowned, sensing something from him but as yet unable to read what it was. She smiled and suggested, "You should try it."
He smiled and nodded, "Maybe I will." Then looked at her and added, "Though it might be a little intense for me."
"Orgasmic," she teased.
Luke threw a pointed glance at her belly and smirked. "You'd know all about that," he said.
Leia felt herself flush with embarrassment and said defensively, "You're no virgin yourself."
"I'm not teasing you, Leia," Luke told her fondly. "I'm happy for you. For both of you. Really. I just wish it hadn't ended like…"
He fell silent and they stared at the fire, both unwilling to invoke the demons from Bespin.
"I'm going to get him back, Luke," Leia said quietly, and Luke nodded.
They lapsed into something of a comfortable silence and Leia allowed her mind to drift on thoughts of Han. For the first time since Bespin, she found she could think rationally about him, and could see her desperation to get to Tatooine for the knee-jerk reaction it was. Without the right medicines and equipment, they would kill Solo as surely as Jabba might. Yet that didn't lessen her fears that the Hutt might still de-freeze him before they got there. And thinking about Han at the mercy of Jabba the Hutt prompted a resurgence of the panic and urgency she had been feeling since Bespin, but Leia closed her eyes and allowed it to pass. She could only do her best, and she was doing just that by being here: by learning what she could in the quickest time possible. Then she would go back to the Rebel Fleet, get the medical supplies they'd need, and go to Tatooine prepared.
Leia wished Chewbacca was with her and ached to think what horrors he might be facing.
Luke offered to refill her cup and she smiled and held it out to him.
"So," he said, "what changed? Between you and Han, I mean."
"I missed my transport off Hoth," Leia told him. "So Han got me out." She sighed heavily. "Then the hyperdrive failed. We would have been caught over Hoth but Han came up with the brilliant idea of hiding in the asteroid field."
Luke regarded her with shock and said, "Tell me you're joking?"
Leia shook her head and said seriously, "Oh no. It was terrifying."
Luke stared into his cup and muttered, "Maybe he is insane…"
"No," Leia said. "More like dangerously brilliant. He then hitched a hyperspace mini-hop on the back of one of the Star Destroyers and drifted us off with the rest off the garbage when they dumped it just before going hyper." Luke shook his head, awed, and Leia smiled. "Then we spent the next four weeks limping to Bespin at sublight."
Luke grinned broadly and Leia felt herself blushing again. "I learned Shri Wook on the way," she said in a vain attempt to distract him from thinking about the other things that she had obviously learned on the way to Bespin.
"Good for you," he said, and Leia could tell he was genuinely pleased for her. "I was hoping you two would sort things out on that trip to Ord Mantell. But when you came back and things were worse…" Luke shook his head then chuckled. "You have no idea how many bets were lost on that trip!"
Leia sniffed with affront and said unsympathetically, "Serves you all right!"
"Be no denying it this time, though," he said, looking at her seriously.
"I have no intention of denying it," Leia agreed.
"Are you happy about it?" Luke asked, and Leia sensed he was seizing on the chance to find out her feelings about the pregnancy. "Happy about being pregnant?" he clarified.
"It wasn't planned," she admitted. "And Han was supposedly sterile…" She found herself staring into her soup, once again wondering how Han would feel about the child they'd somehow created, and muttered, "I don't know how it happened."
"The Force," the Jedi Master croaked ominously out of the darkness.
Luke and Leia looked in the direction the voice had come from, surprised, and a moment later he stepped into the firelight.
"Forges all our destinies it does," he continued.
"Actually, I think this had more to do with contraception failure myself," Leia muttered under her breath, and saw Luke hide a smirk behind his hand.
Yoda seemed to study her gravely, his eyes glimmering, reflecting the firelight. "Believe in the Force you do, Leia Organa," he told her gently. "Yet believe in it in yourself you do not."
He's right, Leia thought, and felt compelled to nod. She did believe in the Force, and not just because she had been brought up to believe in it. She had seen Luke use it far too often to think that it was just a myth. But her fear of finding such a power within herself was a real one. It would be so easy to deal with problems by simply forcing sentients to do things the way she wanted. The way she knew was right. Forcing them to be sensible and good. Not to mention meting out justice on those she thought deserved it.
It was an aspect of Force use that Leia instinctively knew to be Dark but, knowing her own nature, was afraid she would find an irresistible temptation. Especially in light of the revelation that Vader was her biological father. Yet her desire to save Han was beginning to make the risk one worth taking. That and the knowledge that, despite her mother's attempts to block her abilities, she was beginning to use the Force anyway.
Using it to coerce your lover, her conscience reminded her bitterly.
"Tell me about Force Bonding," she asked Yoda suddenly.
The small Jedi Master seemed to consider her request for a long moment before responding, "Felt this you have."
Leia nodded, then added, "Vader told me it was a punishable offence by Jedi law."
"Powerful coercion it is," Yoda agreed. "In the hands of the unscrupulous."
"But I didn't even know I was doing it," Leia protested calmly, meeting the small Jedi Master's gaze.
"Saw into your lover's heart you did. And he into yours. Addictive this is. Especially for non-Jedi."
"It didn't-" …happen every time. Leia paused, unwilling to go into detail, but the Jedi Master seemed to understand.
"Mmm," he agreed, sounding unsurprised, and told her matter-of-factly, "Mutual orgasm."
Leia, aware that Luke was sitting beside her taking everything in, blushed profusely and picked at the dirt under her fingernails.
"Difficult to achieve this is," Yoda continued. "Especially for humans." He leaned towards her and surmised, "Worried that you coerced your lover you are."
Leia chewed the inside of her lip as she met his gaze once more, then nodded.
"Force Bond first time did you?" Yoda asked, and Leia shook her head. "Then coerce him you did not."
"Is that…" Leia thought for a moment, trying to find the right words, then asked, "Could that be what created the child?"
Yoda shook his head without hesitation. "No," he said. "More likely the child it was who prompted the Force Bonding."
Leia was astounded. "Really?"
"Strong with the Force she is," Yoda reminded her.
"But…" …she would have only just been conceived, Leia thought.
"Very strong," he insisted.
Leia frowned, finding it difficult to entertain the thought that she could be carrying such a powerful child. Or maybe the Force Bonding was simply something I did, she thought. Or even Han. His mother had been a Jedi after all.
"Sleep now," Yoda said. "Work hard in the morning you must."
He moved out of the firelight and disappeared into the darkness, leaving them alone once more, yet Leia got the distinct impression he would not be far away.
Beside her, Luke sighed heavily then got to his feet and pulled a large ground-mat from the pack he had brought. Looking at him, Leia sensed he was irritated about something and asked, "What's wrong?"
Luke finished arranging the ground-mat then finally looked at her and said, "Force Bonding?" The exasperation in his voice was unmistakable. "I was here for nearly four weeks and nobody told me about Force Bonding!"
"Well…" It was hardly something the Jedi Master thought you would need in the immediate future, Leia thought, but she said, "Four weeks isn't a very long time, Luke." She could hear the conciliatory tone in her voice and, not wanting to sound condescending, tried to sound neutral as she added, "As I understand, it took Jedi years to train."
Luke sighed heavily. "I know," he admitted. "It's just… I feel like I learned more in my two weeks with Vader than I did here."
"I wouldn't trust his methods," Leia opined darkly.
"He taught me healing techniques!" Luke said defensively. "Healing techniques that cured your nausea! He also taught me how to conceal myself to avoid the need for fighting. All Yoda and Ben taught me was how to fight and defend myself." He paused then clarified, "How to fight Darth Vader and win." He flopped down onto the ground-mat and added sourly, "And I lost."
Leia allowed Luke his petulant outburst then told him pointedly, "Vader only told me about Force Bonding so he could gloat, Luke." Luke frowned at her, not understanding, and Leia felt compelled to explain.
"Not only did Vader have his men record every minute Han and I spent together on Bespin, he felt us. Then gloated about it to me while he was torturing Han."
"Felt you?" Leia watched as understanding swept over Luke and he grimaced, hanging his head in his hands. "Leia, I have no idea how to apologise for something like that." Leia opened her mouth to tell him it was not something he needed to apologise for, but he cut her off. "And don't tell me it wasn't my fault, 'cause it was! Vader wanted me and he knew he could use you and Han to get to me!" He wiped his hands over his face and added, "I'm so sorry."
"Me too," Leia agreed softly. "Maybe we should get some sleep?" she suggested, trying to change the subject. "Are there predators we need to keep watch for?"
Luke shook his head. "Nothing I won't sense," he told her.
…..
Lying beside Leia, both of them wrapped in a blanket, Luke couldn't help feeling somewhat surprised at how quickly she had fallen asleep. From the many times they had been forced to share sleeping facilities, Luke had known the Princess of Alderaan to be the sort to stew for at least an hour before falling asleep. Solo had complained about it often because she would usually disturb their attempts to sleep with either her restlessness or random thought processes that she inevitably deemed necessary to share. To see her fall asleep within moments of putting her head down was both a comfort and a concern. Comfort because, with the amount going through her head at present, Luke would have expected her not to sleep at all, and concern because it was so unlike her.
He surmised the long walk from the Falcon must have exhausted her and wished it'd had the same effect on him. Instead he found himself stewing in the same way she normally would; worries and 'could have beens' whirling around mercilessly in his head. Mind-fucking, as Solo so eloquently called it.
Sighing deeply, Luke gave in and used the Force to quiet his mind. It was something he had become very adept at doing while training with Yoda. Yoda, who would only ever answer questions when he deemed Luke ready for the answers. Which, of course, was nowhere near as often as Luke would have liked.
As he drifted off to sleep, Luke found himself comparing his father's teaching style with that of Yoda, and decided sleepily that he preferred his father's. At least he answered questions…
…
Leia woke, from what had been a surprisingly restful sleep, just as the sky was lightening. Luke had not slept well, and even now looked worried, and Leia suspected it was his restlessness that had disturbed her.
Bad dreams. After all that had happened to them recently, it was to be expected.
She took an experimental deep breath, fully expecting the oh-so-familiar wave of nausea. And while she could sense it vaguely, it was nothing like it had been. Relieved, and feeling almost normal, Leia gazed dreamily up at the mist-shrouded tree limbs overhead.
Nearby, a clean-limbed spider had spun a large web, and every strand of the intricate design was bejewelled with beads of moisture. The artist was sitting in the middle of its spectacular creation; all shiny black with some lighter spots on its back. Spiders were not something Leia was terribly fond of, and she was intrigued at her own lack of alarm at the nearness of the creature as well as the fact that it seemed to be watching her.
Testing her theory, expecting it to be proven an arrogant assumption, Leia lifted one hand towards the spider while still keeping a safe distance. The spider shifted fractionally and raised one leg towards her. Not quite threatening her; just threatening to threaten her. Leia smiled.
She lowered her hand and experimentally reached out with the Force to the creature; was mightily surprised when she realised she could discern the spider's distinct presence. She attempted to delve deeper and got the distinct impression that the spider was concerned about her proximity.
Fascinated, Leia considered testing her fledgling Force-sense even further but, now that she was fully awake, the need to empty her bladder had become an urgent demand. She carefully slipped out from under the blanket without disturbing Luke. After she'd finished, Leia replaced the pad she had made out of Solo's old sheets in her underwear and went to wash the soiled one in the waterfall. Her bleeding seemed to have lessened during the night, which was encouraging.
The water was cold but, as she watched it rushing over her hands, Leia was gripped by the same desire that had gripped her the day before. The desire to fling her whole body into the water. She could feel the thrumming power within the pool beckoning to her, and looked back at Luke. He was still sound asleep. And she couldn't see Yoda anywhere. Making up her mind, Leia unbound her hair, stripped naked, then spent a moment on the edge of the pool staring into the water. Its pull was inexorable. Like tantalising a blind man with sight.
Leia moved forward a fraction, flinching a little as the icy water washed over her toes. I'm insane, she thought, but walked further into the water nevertheless. She could feel awareness of the Force flooding through her and closed her eyes, savouring the sensation for a moment before sliding into the water and swimming towards the deepest section of the pool. Now out of her depth, Leia hung in the water briefly then fully submerged. Under the water the thunder of the waterfall itself was somewhat softer, and the effervescence it churned into the water swirled and eddied around her, caressing her skin, capturing her hair. Leia expelled all the air from her lungs to keep herself under water, thoroughly enjoying the sensation. It was like submerging herself in the force of life itself. She could feel it all around her and within her. So healing, so much life!
She broke the surface to fulfil her body's need for oxygen, then submerged once more. There was a burning brightness to the Force flowing through her that the chill water seemed to soothe. It left her with a feeling that, outside the pool, she could very well ignite.
Remembering the overwhelming nature of her experience the day before, Leia decided it would be wise to temper her time in the pool a little and surfaced once more. She swam towards an offshoot of the waterfall proper, a sloping rock-face with a small torrent of water rushing across its surface, and climbed carefully onto the large smooth stones at its base. Then she lay with her back against the rock-face while the water cascaded around her, pummelling her skin in a delicious massage.
Closing her eyes, Leia let the Force take her where it would; expecting it to carry her along with the flow of the water, and follow it out across the planet. And was vaguely disappointed when it seemed to turn in on her, giving her an awareness of her body like she'd never had before. She could feel the blood coursing through her veins, rushing with every pump of her heart to every part of her body. That was when she became aware of the other heartbeat.
Leia's eyes flew open, but she stared unseeing at the clouded sky, while her hands moved to press against her belly, seeking physical evidence of the small presence she could sense growing there. But there was only a Force enhanced awareness of her swollen uterus and the independent heartbeat within it.
She sought out that heartbeat and found it accompanied by a strong desire to live. A sentience running on instinct. But so clean, so innocent…
My daughter.
Leia felt an overwhelming love for her child bloom in her breast, swiftly followed by an aching need to protect her. Then came the softest touch through the Force, like tiny mental fingers wrapping around one of her own, and Leia burst into tears.
She sat up, hugging herself and wept helplessly as the full consequence of motherhood was revealed to her.The knowledge that she would place the health and safety of her child above all else, and the unimaginable devastation that would follow her loss.
What have I done?
Leia needed time alone to absorb and rearrange her new feelings. To try and come to terms with the enormity of the task she'd given herself. Not only did she have to give birth to this child but, Leia realised, she would spend the rest of her life worrying about her.
She plunged back into the main pool with the intention of getting out, her mind in turmoil. But the nature of the pool gripped her, plunging her deep into the swell of the Force. Leia tried to fight it but it overwhelmed her, pulling her helplessly into its currents and expanding her consciousness to unbearable levels.
After what seemed an age, she felt another presence closing on her, blinding in its brightness in the Force, and was dimly aware of being dragged from the pool. Then came the blessed relief as the maelstrom in her head quietened to a manageable level. Suddenly cold, Leia clutched at the blanket that was wrapped around her and looked up to find Luke's very worried looking face peering down at her. Very worried and very wet. In fact, he was dripping on her.
Leia opened her mouth to thank him, but her teeth started chattering so she shut it again.
"What were you thinking?" Luke chided her.
She let him guide her back to the ground-mat they had slept on the night before then sat, shivering, while he hurriedly set about making a new fire. He was shivering too and had obviously jumped into the pool fully clothed.
"Sorry," Leia murmured contritely.
Luke paused and looked at her, his irritation evident on his face. "What were you thinking?" he asked again, then turned back to getting the fire started.
Leia pulled the blanket tighter and told him softly, "I felt her, Luke."
Again Luke paused to look at her, but this time his expression softened. Leia sensed he was reaching out to see if he could feel her daughter through the Force as well. Guessed by the smile that suddenly broke across his face that he had succeeded.
"Isn't she beautiful?" Leia breathed.
"She's…" Luke seemed to have trouble finding the right words and finally settled for, "she's amazing."
"I can't feel her here," Leia added, looking back at the waterfall. "Just in the water…"
"Don't you even think about jumping back in there!" Luke warned. He succeeded in getting the fire going then got to his feet. "Get dressed. I'll be back in a minute." He headed off into the mist-shrouded forest and disappeared behind a tree.
Leia dressed hurriedly, savouring the warmth and comforting scent of Han's jacket as she pulled it on over her clothes. Pausing to enjoy the comfort it gave her, Leia wondered if there would be some way for Han to sense their daughter the way she had. She looked up as Luke returned and asked him whether he thought it might be possible.
Luke shook his head and said regretfully, "I don't think so. It's a Force thing…" He pulled the flask of soup from his pack, "Have you thought about a name for her yet?"
Leia shook her head. "She just wasn't real to me," she murmured. "'Til now…"
Luke smiled then looked sideways suddenly. Yoda was sitting on a nearby tree root, watching them.
"Morning, Master," Luke said, and handed Leia a cup of soup. "Soup?" he offered the Jedi Master.
Yoda grunted acquiescence and joined them by the fire.
…..
They breakfasted pleasantly together then Yoda led them on another trek, which took most of the day, all the while instructing, not just Leia but Luke as well. Each time they paused to rest, Leia bombarded the Jedi Master with questions and Luke watched her frustration grow as his answers became steadily less satisfying. Nevertheless, Luke felt deeply comforted by her presence; felt a rightness in the Force that she was here. This is the way it should have been: brother and sister training together.
Once again he found himself haunted by what might have happened had he taken Solo's advice just after the battle of Yavin and slept with the Alderaanian Princess. He couldn't help feeling ashamed of his desires at the time despite their innocence, and had to squash an accusatory spear of anger that lanced out towards the Jedi Master. Despite the attempt to hide his anger, Luke suspected that Yoda had sensed it anyway.
Leia was spending any breaks they had trying to sense her baby, which Yoda encouraged as an exercise to help her open herself to the Force without the aide of the waterfall. But even that she had been unable to achieve. Yoda had told her that, until she allowed the outside forces in, she could not affect them.
In Luke's opinion, the shields Leia had built around her emotions were of Super Star Destroyer quality, but the controls were as dodgy as anything on the Millennium Falcon. Amused at his own analogy, Luke wondered if that was how Han had known how to break through them?
It was raining steadily by the time they stopped for the evening, and they sought as much shelter as they could in the giant buttress-like roots of a tree. As they settled down to sleep, Luke put his arm around his sister and, as she relaxed, showed her what she had been trying to feel all day. The tiny life within her. Leia hugged him gratefully and fell asleep entwined with the gentle presence of her daughter through the Force.
Luke took a moment to study her, comparing her profile to the memories he now had of their mother.
So alike…
He kissed her softly on the forehead and let himself drift off to sleep.
….
He found himself in a large elegant hallway and, aware that he was dreaming, decided he was in a palace of some sort. Looking around, Luke noticed a young man approaching and was abruptly aware that he himself was much older than his current years. Was he dreaming about the future?
The young man approaching was on the small side for an adult human, but lean and hard in an athletic sort of way. His hair was dark, unkempt and too long, forcing him to push it out of his eyes at regular intervals. But the blue eyes that peered through the jagged, self-cut fringe, were brightly intelligent and the face vaguely familiar.
But what shone most brightly, and riveted Luke Skywalker's attention on him, was his Force-sense. The young man all but glowed with a level of power Luke had not felt since Darth Vader or the Emperor.
Skywalker held out his hand and the young man gripped his forearm in greeting.
"Master Skywalker."
Luke estimated the young man's age at about 18 and for an instant wondered if this was how he had looked to Ben Kenobi at the same age. All brash and eager, and glowing with the Force. And felt a moment of understanding at the thrill it must have given the old Jedi. The sense of future. Of purpose.
But Ben had always known about Luke; this young man had seemingly come out of nowhere. No, Luke decided; what he was feeling was probably closer to what Vader had felt.
"Durc Organa," the young man said, introducing himself. "I think you knew my mother?"
Luke regarded the young man with shocked surprise. "Organa? You're Leia's son?"
The young man nodded and there was an almost sinister glimmer in his eyes as he added, "And yours, uncle."
The familiarity of the young man's features made sudden and horrible sense as the truth of his words slammed into Luke. He and Leia –
Luke jerked into wakefulness feeling panicked and ill. Had he just seen his son? The son he might have had from a path where he'd unknowingly slept with his sister? He wiped a hand across his face, struggling to banish the non-existent phantoms of his dream, and felt Leia stir beside him.
"Luke?" she murmured.
"It's all right," he told her hastily. "Go back to sleep."
He felt her unconscious attempt to touch his mind, to seek the truth directly, and blocked her.
"It was a bad dream," he admitted carefully. "Go back to sleep."
Bad dreams were something Leia knew intimately. She accepted his explanation without question and settled back into sleep. Luke, on the other hand, was afraid to sleep lest his subconscious take him back to a place he did not want to go to. So he gazed out at the darkness, his mind in turmoil. But the sound of the rain and the breathing of the princess were soothing, and he soon found himself dreaming again.
But this time he could see nothing. Nor could he breathe. Gripped by a terror like he'd never felt, Luke wanted to scream but he couldn't move. His body in agony, yet unable to do anything about it, Luke thought he would go mad, and wondered why he wasn't dead from his inability to breathe. Instinctively he sought out the one presence he truly cared about, but couldn't feel the Force at all. He tried to calm himself, tried to focus, but a mindless panic took over.
Leia! he screamed helplessly in his head. Leia!
"Luke?"
Luke gasped for air as he woke and heard himself shriek, "Leia!" Still trying to get a grip on reality, he dimly became aware that Leia was shaking him.
"Luke, wake up. It's just a dream."
The need to flee still gripped him and he lurched out into the rain, breathing with panic-stricken gasps. Again he heard the echo of a cry in his head, "Leia!" and this time he recognised the voice.
Han.
Horrified understanding almost paralysed Luke. Han was aware. Frozen in carbonite, but still somehow aware.
Afraid that Leia would sense what he had just felt through the Force, Luke slammed his mental shields into place and sought to calm his breathing, which had degenerated into traumatised sobs. He turned his face into the rain, concealing his tears and seeking to wash the sudden and unwelcome knowledge from his mind. But, of course, it remained.
This was what Vader had planned to do to him. To lock him in a living hell.
"Luke?"
Luke looked back at his sister, could feel her concern, and managed a weak smile, hoping it looked reassuring. This was something Leia must never know.
He walked back to her and sat on the lowest edge of the tree root they'd been sheltering against, uncaring of the rain.
"Bad dream?" she asked, hunkering deeper into the small dry space they'd been sharing a moment ago.
Luke nodded. He leaned his elbows on his knees and stared unseeing at the hands that hung loosely between his legs, only dimly aware of the water trickling off his hair and nose.
It was like the vision he'd had before. Han in pain. A vision that had every instinct within his body urging him to rush to his friend's rescue. Just like before… He had ignored the advice of the Jedi Master teaching him to go and rescue his friend. A choice that had resulted in dire consequences for all of them. Did he dare repeat that mistake? Did he dare not? How could he leave Han in that hell?
He turned his right hand palm up, watched the water gather in it and run off, clenched it into a fist then opened it again. The hand was surprisingly sensitive, despite being artificial. A legacy of his father.
He looked at Leia and found her watching him carefully. There were no demands for explanations from her, yet Luke knew that if she'd had any inkling of what he'd just felt, she would be doing an immediate bolt for the Falcon. Which should he follow? Instinct or reason? Reason told him Leia needed Yoda's instruction, but could Han survive the sort of torment he'd glimpsed?
"I'm wet now," he told Leia. "I'll stay out here."
The princess nodded and closed her eyes, settling back to sleep.
Luke stared out at the rain.
…..
Leia glared at the pebble sitting on the ground only a metre away, willing it to move. Although able to feel the power that was part of her genetic heritage, she was still unable to consciously manipulate it. Used to seeing results almost as soon as she put her mind to a task, Leia's frustration with her lack of progress in this area manifest as a short temper and an acid tongue.
They had been on Dagobah almost four days now and her need to rescue Han was becoming an unrelenting throb at the back of her brain. Much to her relief, they had returned to the Falcon after their hike to the waterfall, and were now using the open area around it as a training ground. But, apart from a few minor successessuch as being able to sense the child steadily growing inside her, Leia felt like she was going nowhere.
She had only moved the pebble once so far, when she had walked over and kicked it in a fit of pique. The Jedi Master had sighed and Luke had seemed vaguely amused. Well Leia wasn't amused. Not at all.
"You're trying too hard," Luke told her as she growled and hung her head in her hands, giving up once more. "Relax and let it flow."
"Relax?" Leia repeated through gritted teeth. That's about as achievable as me moving this rock, she thought sarcastically.
"Which is why you can't move the rock," Luke replied wryly.
"I don't want to move the rock," Leia snapped tersely. "I want to go find Han! This is a waste of time-"
"You can do this, Leia."
"Obviously!" she said, waving accusingly at the rock.
"You just have to feel-"
"I can feel the Force!" she protested. "I can feel you, I can feel Yoda, I can feel my baby, I can even feel the rock. I just can't move the rock!"
Luke sighed heavily and Leia echoed him.
"You can reach out and touch the rock but you're keeping it all at arm's length," Luke tried to explain. "It has to be internalised, Leia. You have to feel it." He shrugged and finished simply, "You're blocking."
"It's what I was programmed to do," Leia replied quietly, taking refuge behind the block they'd concluded her mother had placed on her abilities as an infant.
"So turn the program off," Luke told her gently.
Let yourself feel. The same thing Han had told her. Let her guard down; leave herself emotionally vulnerable. She had been getting used to lowering the shields she had built around her psyche to feel her daughter; could it really hurt that much to lower them a little further?
What had Vader told her to do to stop the Emperor from sensing her? To feel nothing? Then surely doing the opposite would have the desired effect?
Leia took a deep breath and, with her exhalation, tried to let go. Focussed briefly on her daughter and felt an answering touch. She tried to open herself further and, to some extent, felt her consciousness expand. Closing her eyes, Leia pictured the rock in her mind, felt its shape, weight and texture. Felt the waves of energy focus through her mind to lift the rock.
She knew she was succeeding by the surge of excitement that washed over her from both Yoda and Luke, and opened her eyes.
The rock was teetering, just off the ground. I can do better, Leia thought, and attempted to find the woman she had been just before Bespin. Open, happy… Memories of Han washed over her and Leia smiled and let them flow. Knew without looking that the rock was rising steadily.
Then it hit her. A wave of such desperation, such agony.
Leia!
"Han!"Sheresponded, vocally and mentally, and the Jedi Master ducked as the rock shot over his head and slammed into the tree several metres behind him.
The psychic scream vanished as quickly as it had come. Bereft and deeply traumatised, Leia surged to her feet.
"I felt Han!" she exclaimed.
Luke, who was trying to recover from the psychic backwash, staggered to his feet to calm her, but Leia was inconsolable.
"I felt Han!" she said, wringing her hands in panic-stricken anguish. "I felt Han! I felt Han!" Her eyes met Luke's with a cataclysm of understanding and, without another word she fled towards the Falcon.
Luke closed his eyes briefly as Leia raced up the ramp then turned and looked at Yoda. The Jedi Master's lips were pursed in unexpressed disapproval. Luke had heard all the admonishments before, but he knew nothing would stop Leia from leaving now. A fact solidified by the sounds of the Falcon's engines warming.
"We'll be back, Master," Luke said apologetically. "I promise." It was the exact same promise he had made before leaving Dagobah last time, and Luke hoped the decision would not end as disastrously this time. He wished Yoda would say something and, resigned, picked up the jacket he'd left lying nearby. But what the Jedi Master said when he finally did speak was the last thing Luke had expected.
"With you I will come," Yoda said, hobbling towards the Falcon's ramp.
"Master?"
"Time I came out of hiding it is."