Disclaimer: Do I look like J.K. Rowling?
Chapter Summary: Remus and Harry have a well-needed little chat, and Harry has a horrible nightmare...
A/N: It's been about the time I said I would take thanks to school starting, but true to my word, here is your next chapter. I hope it was worth the wait. Combining the reviews I got from this site and others that I have my story posted on, I decided to write this truly final 4-year-old Harry chapter. I personally thought I needed to tie up some things before I skipped his age some. Anywho, please review and tell me what you think. The more reviews I get, the sooner I'll try and post. –Grins- On to the chapter, then, eh? Yes, I think so…
Chapter 23: Remus & Harry
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Suffice it to say that once they had checked him over for signs of injury and found none, Ron had gotten into more trouble with his parents - mainly his mother - about the "Dark Forest Incident" than Harry had with his guardians. Mostly because it had been Ron's fault the whole situation had occurred in the first place. One, he had encouraged Harry to disobey his Godfather as well as Moony, and two, he had coaxed Harry into even using his powers to do so.
Harry, of course, had gotten admonished as well, though, Sirius and Remus understood that Harry's lack of control on his empathic power had been the prominent cause for him to succumb to Ron's wish to leave the room. The Potter heir was a naturally good-hearted person and hated to be the cause those he cared about, as well as trusted, became sad or disappointed. Hence the reason he found it very difficult tell anyone he cared for "No." Which was something Sirius and Remus were going to be sure to work on with their Charge.
"Ready, Harry?" asked Remus delicately once they had passed the anti-apparition wards of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Remus had an urge to pick Harry up for the apparition from Hogwarts to "Marauders Abode", as Sirius had so christened it, but refrained himself from doing so. Picking Harry up to Apparate was what Sirius usually did, but, as Madam Pomfrey had released Harry and had forced the protesting Black to stay an extra day in the hospital wing, Sirius was unable to fulfill such a duty, and Remus was not sure Harry would like it if he tried to do it. ...Especially now.
And who could blame him? Remus thought bitterly to himself. He 'knows' what werewolves are now, how could he not want you as far away from him as physically possible?
Harry, who had been silent during their walk to the edge of the wards, looked up hesitantly at Remus and replied with a soft,
"Yes," before returning his gaze to his shoes, as if fascinated by them.
What Remus did not know was that Harry was not acting this way because he was scared of him, or because he did not like him anymore, but because he was worried Remus himself was either upset about how Harry had reacted to him in the forest or had even gone as far as to not care about Harry anymore. Which was something the Potter desperately wished was not true, but would not blame Remus if it were. And the hurt Harry could feel coming off the Lupin was not helping him feel any better about it. The last thing he wanted was for Remus to feel hurt, especially since it was he, Harry, who had done the hurting. Truth be told, Harry just wanted to throw his arms around the lycanthrope and apologize profusely and tell Remus that him being a werewolf did not matter to Harry because Remus was different and that Harry did trust him. He trusted him with his life, but Harry was also scared of what would happen if he were to be rejected. The young Potter did not know if he would be able to handle something like that coming from someone he cared a lot about. He knew it was something Remus would never do, Remus was not like that, but he could not help but feel that the lycanthrope just might, mainly because of what Harry had done.
"Alrighty then," sighed Remus whipping out his wand and taking hold of Harry's hand, feeling how his Charge gripped back convulsively, as if yearning for the comfort, albeit such a small seeming one, but fearful to request it. Oh, how Remus wanted to show Harry that he did not have to be scared to actually 'want' comforting! But how could he now?
Harry firmly shut his eyes as the all familiar 'being pressed in from all sides', that came with apparating, attacked him before he had fully prepared himself for it. He held tighter to Remus' hand and tried his best not to panic about being unable to breath. Then, as fast as it had come, the feeling left, allowing Harry's chest to rise and fall as per normal. Slowly opening his eyes, their familiar house came into view, bathed in moonlight, and it was this sight that was Harry's last straw of the little composure he had forced himself to maintain.
Remus stood looking at the house reminiscently when his hand was released from Harry's grip. And to say he was surprised when he felt the boy hug him, digging his face into Remus' robes, would be an understatement.
Instinctively, hope filling him, the Lupin bent down and hugged the boy back. Harry immediately hugged Remus tighter, as though scared if he did not he would lose the Moony he knew.
"Harry, it's okay, what's wrong?" Remus murmured softly, only to be greeted with whispered words Harry was repeating into Remus' shirt.
"…I'm sorry…I'm sorry…"
Remus could feel his eyes stinging, but he held it. Harry was apologizing? He did not do anything wrong!
"Don't be, Harry.," Remus whispered back, kissing the boy atop his mess of black hair. Harry pulled away slightly from the hug, releasing Remus, taking a small step backwards...just enough to look his Guardian in the eyes. Harry's emerald ones were filled with tears and some of them had found their way onto his cheeks. Something that tore at Remus' heart. Harry's eyes seemed to search Remus', unbelieving of the emotions he was feeling from the man.
"But…" Harry choked out. "I…"
"I love you, Harry. I always will. Even if…even if you never wanted to see me again, I would always care deeply for you," stated the Lupin affectionately, cupping Harry's face in his hands and wiping away the boy's tears gently with his thumbs.
Harry shook his head fervently. "I do want to see you! I do! Please don't go."
"Harry…I'm…"
"I know, and I like you anyway! You'we not like that man, Moony, you'we not!" Harry pleaded, newfound tears welling-up in his eyes before he hugged the Lupin again, body racking with sobs. Remus held Harry tightly, a genuine soft smile forming on his lips. James had once told Remus the same thing, not with the exact same words, or tears, but he had said it just as fervently.
He understands what I am now, and he still trusts me…I never would've thought I'd meet someone more like Prongs…heh, like father like son, I suppose…
"Please…" came Harry's muffled voice.
It'd probably kill me just as much as it'd kill him if I were to go for the sake of safety; especially since I've been with him this long and we've all been happy. We've all grown attached. I can't let just one thing discourage us like this; we've got to work harder at maintaining this trust we have. We've got to make it to where nothing can break us, nothing. We're a family, and we're going to stay that way, Remus told himself firmly.
"I'm not going to leave, Harry," said Remus, moving Harry back a few steps so that they could see each other properly again.
"You'we…not?" the young boy hiccupped hopefully, trying to regain himself as he wiped his tears away with the sleeve of his arm. Remus smiled kindly, placing his hands on Harry's shoulders.
"Not so long as I'm still wanted here," he grinned. A true smile graced the Potter heir's features. "Now come on, if we stay out here any longer it'll be too late to have a nice cup of hot chocolate."
And looking happier than he had in days, Harry quickly took Remus by the hand and led the older man towards the house.
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"When's Miss Pomby gonna let Padfoot come home?" Harry asked tiredly as Remus tucked him into bed an hour later.
"Miss Pomby?" Remus chuckled as he closed the blinds.
"Uh-huh," the young boy yawned, pulling the blanket up to his chin.
"Tomorrow, if she doesn't find something else wrong with him," Remus sighed as he sat down on Harry's bed.
"I hope so."
"Don't worry. If she doesn't, I'm sure he'll end up sneaking out or something."
"Really?"
"It wouldn't be the first time," Remus grinned before bending down and planting a kiss on Harry's forehead. "You get some sleep, okay?"
"…Okay." And with that, the Lupin stood and walked to the door, readying himself to only leave the door open a crack, when Harry's voice stopped him and caused him to turn back around.
"Can it…stay open, please?"
"Sure," Remus complied, eyes softening affectionately, reopening the door completely. "Night, Harry."
"G'Night, Moony."
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-Harry's Dream-
Harry found himself, again, in the forest clearing. The sun shone high in the sky, filling him with warmth as he sat looking around. He had slowly come to realize that it was when he found himself in this particular clearing that he was able to talk with Xantos. It never failed, Xantos would appear, that much Harry was sure of. The Potter had lately begun to enjoy his talks with his second-cousin. He had been reluctant at first, and he could not say he was not still reluctant somewhat now, but he was slowly warming up to the man.
A soft breeze flew around the clearing causing the trees to ruffle their leaves and Harry's attention to be drawn to the right. Sure enough, from behind the trees, came the hazel eyed wizard.
"Xantos!"
"Hey, Harry," Xantos smiled, though he looked like he was troubled by something, as he came to a halt where Harry was and sat himself down across from him. "How've you been?"
"I've been…good."
"That's good to hear."
Something was different about today, Harry could tell. Xantos was usually much more talkative than this.
"Are you alright?" Harry inquired. Xantos seemed surprised by this question.
"I'm…hmm…can I trust you, Harry?" Xantos inquired right back, throwing Harry off this time. After a few seconds Harry nodded slowly 'yes'.
"I mean really trust you, though, I usually don't talk about these things to many people, it's kind of a secret," Xantos explained. Harry's eyes lit up, he loved secrets! And he was definitely the best at keeping them. He nodded eagerly 'yes'.
"Okay…well…I got kinda into trouble."
"With who, your Uncle?" Harry asked innocently, causing Xantos to chuckle sardonically.
"No, no, my uncle's dead. It was with my boss."
"Ohh…why?"
"Doing something I shouldn't have; I'm a real limit pusher," Xantos simplified with a rueful grin.
"Oh," Harry replied, confusion evident in his voice, though Xantos showed no signs of wanting to elaborate on what a 'limit pusher' was. Xantos' gaze shifted from Harry to the trees beyond, not really seeing them.
"You know, you'd think he'd be more thankful for the things I 'do' do for him. But no. That'd go against who he is. Heh, I'd love to see him accomplish half the things he's accomplished without his dear Spell-Smith," muttered Xantos aloud sneeringly, more to himself than to Harry, finally feeling able to speak his mind in this clearing that was void of anyone threatening. "Ungrateful little…"
"What's a…Spell-Smith?" asked Harry curiously, interrupting Xantos' train of thought. Xantos' gaze snapped back to Harry, oddly enough, having forgotten he was even there, and chuckled slightly.
"Did I say all that out loud?" inquired Xantos sheepishly. Harry gave an affirmative nod, causing Xantos to sigh. "Ouch, I haven't done that in a long time." He glanced at the sky and ran a hand through his hair uncomfortably as he said this. Harry cocked his head to the side, awaiting the answer to his initial question that Xantos seemed to want to delay in answering. He looked back at the young boy, who continued to look at him expectantly, and heaved another sigh.
"Right…a Spell-Smith. It's nothing that big…well, maybe to some people, but not to me…anyway, a Spell-Smith is a wizard who can make spells, spells that aren't in the books, spells that the wizard modifies to his choosing or can make them to another's specifications. Though, I haven't made spells for my own pleasure for a while…Not that that matters, my powers are put to the use their meant for," explained Xantos. Harry brought his head back up, a grin spreading on his face.
Wow, that would be so much fun! he thought to himself.
"So, these aren't just dreams then?"
"Merlin no," Xantos grinned. "This little 'subconscious dream linking' spell was something I came up with when I young and scared of nightmares...used to sneak off into James' dreams so we could spend our nights chatting, instead."
"Wow! Can you teach me?"
"Heh, not that I wouldn't want to, kid, but it's not really something that can be taught," Xantos smirked. Harry's face fell slightly, but he was not deterred.
"How come?"
"Spell-Smiths are very uncommon, there can't be more than five in all the wizarding world as things stand now. Wizards who are Spell-Smiths were born with the unique ability. They just didn't have a lot of control over it. Their ability needs to be refined by an Accomplished Spell-Smith before that wizard can be declared a Spell-Smith himself. It took a lot of practice and a lot of studying for me to become one and refine my skills."
"So…I can't be one?" asked Harry downheartedly.
"No, Harry, you can't. But don't be sad about something as small as that. You're something better, much more rare as well, because there can only be two born - magical twins, I'd guess you'd call them - every thousand years. An Elemental can do many things that a measly Spell-Smith can't."
"I don't think so…"
"That's only because you, yourself, don't know your true potential."
"…Potential?" repeated the now baffled boy.
"How much you can really do with your powers."
"Oh…" said Harry looking down at his hands pensively for a few seconds before looking back up at Xantos. "Do…you know how much I can really do?"
"I…" Xantos hesitated, causing Harry to look at him oddly. "…Not exactly. I know the basic potential of an Elemental. But each Elemental is different, with only two of the four main elements under their complete control, and the other Elemental with the other two elements, so naturally both have very distinct abilities. For me to be able to know your exact potential, I'd have to spend much more time with you than I do now," clarified Xantos cautiously.
"Oh."
"Which, sadly, is going to be less than I already do, as it is," Xantos sighed.
"W-What? Why?" inquired Harry, trying to hide his unease at the thought. Sure he did not trust Xantos to a 'tee', but that did not mean that he did not enjoy the older man's company on some level. And after being told these whole conversations were real and not just dreams! It was nice to have someone to just talk to and be your ear and you theirs. Ron and he, of course, had that kind relationship, but for some reason this one felt different to Harry, though he did not know why.
"Thanks to my 'supposed' disobedience, I've got a lot of things I've been assigned to do, loose ends I need to tie up. People I need to have some chats with and that sort of thing." Harry's face fell at this pronouncement. "Don't get me wrong, I'll come and see you! Just…not as often…for now anyway."
A silence fell between the two that quickly became an uncomfortable one.
"So, er, have you 'told' anyone about our little meetings, Harry?" Xantos asked, breaking the silence after a few minutes.
"…No. Why?"
"Oh, just wondering, because I'd like it more if our meetings were...you know, kept a secret."
"Why?"
"Well…Black and Lupin aren't the fondest people of me, and they certainly wouldn't want us talking. They'd end up make sure we never talked again. I don't want that, and I hope you wouldn't want that either. Sooo, I think it'd be good if we just kept it between the two of us, okay?"
Harry got one of those feelings that he tended to get whenever he was around Xantos. He had actually started to be able to read into these feelings of his, but for some reason whenever he was with Xantos his feelings were fuzzy and indistinguishable, and the messy raven haired boy was not sure what they wanted to tell him. So he resorted to trying to read Xantos' motives through his emotions, only to hit the all too familiar wall that did not permit Harry entrance. The young Potter gave a resigned sigh.
"Alright."
"Is it a promise?"
"…Yeah, it's a promise."
"Good," Xantos smiled, ruffling the Potter heir's hair. "I knew I could count on you, Harry."
"Potter..." a voice, that could barely be heard, whispered angrily from all around them.
And before Harry could utter another word to his cousin, the man disappeared, though it did not look like something he had wanted to do, and the scene Harry had been in was consumed by darkness and he found himself falling though it. The Potter tried to scream, but found he had no voice, which scared him more than the fact that he was falling. After what felt like an eternity he landed roughly on the floor of an all too familiar living room. TOO familiar for Harry's liking. Fear gripping his insides he glanced around the room, only to be greeted with the many, many pictures of his monstrosity of a cousin Dudley. Then he heard the voice that he had hoped to be able to never hear again in his life.
"BOY!" snarled Uncle Vernon coming out of the door that led to the kitchen, wild eyes landing on his young nephew. "How DARE you set one filthy STEP into my house!"
"N-N-No, I-I…" stuttered Harry, having finally regained his voice, backing away slowly. He felt himself back into the wall as his uncle closed the space between them with a few quick strides.
"Shut up, idiot boy! I never gave you permission to speak!" Uncle Vernon roared, grabbing Harry by the collar and slamming him roughly into the wall, causing the boy to cry out in pain. Harry's cry only earned him a slap across the face and him being dropped forcefully onto the ground. He bit his bottom lip to refrain from making another sound as Uncle Vernon grabbed his smelting stick from next to the door and brought it down in one swift motion onto Harry's back. Four more whacks followed in quick succession, each one harder than the last, all the while Harry holding in his screams, knowing better than to release them.
"You're nothing but a no good freak, boy! You've only been a useless burden to anyone who's EVER taken you in!" Uncle Vernon shouted. "And I think what you truly need is a good few rounds with the belt. Don't you dare move, or I'll make sure it's that much worse, boy!"
Harry whimpered helplessly once Uncle Vernon reached the top of the stairs to go in search for his belt, as he brought his knees up to his chest wrapping his arms around them and crying into them. He ached all over.
Why is this happening? he could not help but think as he cried. What had happened to Xantos? Where was Padfoot? Where was Moony? Why was he here.
Not more than two minutes later Uncle Vernon came bounding down the stairs, a look of pure enjoyment on his face. Hearing the footfalls coming Harry was quick to stand, only to be thrown back to the floor by his Uncle who then raised the belt threateningly. Harry's snapped his eyes shut, anxiously awaiting it's connecting with his body. Though it never happened. Harry ventured to open his eyes to see why, but desperately wished he had not when he saw what he saw. Uncle Vernon no longer stood there. Instead terrified emerald eyed boy was face to face with Fenrir Greyback, who's mouth was open revealing his dangerously sharp, long, and yellow teeth coming ever closer, a look of ravenous hunger in the werewolf's golden eyes.
"Nooooooo!"
"Harry?"
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"Harry!" came Remus Lupin's voice from somewhere above him, though it sounded oddly distant. "Harry, wake up! It's okay, you're only dreaming!" Remus, who was dressed in his night clothes, sat next to Harry on the young boy's bed, shaking him gently.
Remus, being the light sleeper that he was, had been awoken easily with Harry's yelps of pain. Worry threatening to consume him, he had hurried to his Charge's bedroom to find out what was wrong. Harry had tossed and turned in his bed until he had wrapped himself up completely in his blankets, like a straight jacket. The boy's cheeks were wet with tears, and his face was contorted in pain. At Harry's yell of "No!" Remus immediately decided that if he was going to wake Harry up, just saying his name was not going to work.
"No…no…" Harry murmured, not fully awake yet.
"Harry, you're fine, I'm here."
Harry's eyes snapped open, and acting as his reflexes told him to the Potter back away quickly until he hit the headboard, looking around as though expecting to be attacked, fear swirling in his green gaze. Remus' eyes softened at the look on Harry's face, he could only imagine what the boy had dreamed.
"Harry…"
The messy haired Potter's head instantly turned back to Remus, finally allowing himself to see that it was indeed Moony sitting there. Newfound tears welling up in his eyes, Harry launched himself into Remus' arms, which instinctively wrapped themselves around him comfortingly, and sobbed into his Guardian's nightshirt.
"Moony…it hurt…it hurt so much…"
"I know, know, It's going to be okay, cub. I'm here, I'm here," Remus soothed, mind reeling with thoughts. Who hurt Harry? And…was it not impossible to get hurt in your dreams? That unnerved Remus the most. Only magically induced dreams could be felt by the dreamer…
The Lupin waited until Harry had calmed down some before he decided to ask,
"What did you dream, Harry?"
"I dreamed…" he hesitated slightly. He had made a promise to his second-cousin, and keeping to it, he skipped that part completely. "U-Uncle Vernon…h-he…" Harry's voice choked, tears coming to his eyes again. He had stopped feeling pain the second he had woken up, but the memories alone…
"Oh, Harry, I'm sorry…I'm so sorry, I should've come to you sooner."
Trying to calm himself again Harry rested his head on Remus' shoulder and Remus rubbed soothing circles into the child's back.
"Can I…" Harry began uncertainly. "Can I sleep with you, Moony? I-I don't want to be alone…"
"Of course you can! You can whenever you want, Harry, you don't even have to ask!"
And with that Remus scooped the boy up, who was still shaking slightly, and brought him to his spacious bedroom up the hall. He pulled back his large comforter and gently laid his Charge down before covering him up. Remus got in on the other side and not three seconds had passed before he felt Harry's small form cuddling up against his chest, holding onto his shirt tightly as he buried his face in it. The Lupin wrapped an arm around his young Charge protectively and placed a tender kiss on top of his unruly raven-black hair. The boy sighed a soft content sigh against him.
"I love you…Moony…" Harry murmured sleepily into Remus shirt, feeling a sense of security and safety in his Guardian's arms.
"I love you too, cub, more than I can say with words…" Remus replied with a soft smile.
The two fell into a peaceful sleep together, just like that. It was in this exact same position the Sirius Black, The Hospital Wing Escapee Extraordinaire, found them in the morning, and could not help the affectionate smile that formed at the sight.
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A/N: There you are, I really hope you enjoyed the last chapter of 4-year-old Harry Potter. Grins Please review and tell me what you think!
I thought it'd be a good idea to tell you guys a little bit more about the Elements and their representations. I researched a lot for this story and here is something very influential in this story that I found.
Fire Represents: Passion, Emotion, & Warmth (as in kindness).
Water Represents: Tranquility, Composure & Purposefulness.
Earth Represents: Stability, Prudence & Determinedness.
Air Represents: Sensibility, Forcefulness & Friendliness.
But no matter which other element an Elemental has, their first one is their main one.
Which means their personality matches more to their first element's representation than to their second element's representation.
Though their second element 'is' influential to their personality, it is not dominant.
In Harry's case, Fire is his Dominant Element. Because of that, you can see those traits more pronounced in him, though, of course, you see his back round personality, Air, that influence him greatly.
So, now knowing what I've told you, I think it'd be fun to see who you think the other Elemental is. –Grins- ...Who's two element powers 'must' be Water & Earth since there can only be two Elementals every thousand years and Harry already has the powers of Fire & Air. ...This setup is of course to prevent there being some "All Powerful" Elemental Wizard who controls all four elements. Instead the four elements are split up evenly every thousand-year period into two wizards/witches...two people who are twins at their magical core. -Nods.-
Until next time…
-Japanime1