"If nothing else, we were always good at this." Jefferson sighed, shifting so that his arm was around Regina and she was tucked comfortably against his side.

"Mm." Regina agreed, splaying a hand over his bare chest and letting out a little sigh as he moved his thumb over her shoulder. "I meant what I said, you know."

"Of course you did. You mean everything that you say." Jefferson was only half-paying attention, because it was the first sex that he'd had since Wonderland, and it had been pretty damn good.

A little weird, because neither of them were twenty-two anymore and they'd been through so much that they were very different people, but some things hadn't changed. The way that he kissed her neck. The way that it felt when her nails dug into his back. The way that they tangled up in one another in the first few moments after they'd finished.

"We've put each other through enough hell." Regina was speaking quietly, as if someone else could hear. Jefferson didn't comment. It was rare for the queen (she was the queen, here in secret in her bedroom where the citizens of Storybrooke couldn't see her) to show any vulnerability. "I've destroyed your happiness."

"You have." Jefferson closed his eyes, and briefly realized that he couldn't remember the color of Grace's mother's eyes anymore. Those memories were too painful to ever revisit. He'd never been able to prove that Regina had caused her death, but he had his suspicions. "Congratulations."

"Thank you." She placed a careful kiss to his jawline. "I almost wish you weren't the only one living with the truth. You seem to be suffering the most out of anyone here."

"I don't think that's true." Jefferson had been watching Regina since they'd arrived in Storybrooke. At first the queen-turned-mayor had seemed happy with the results of the curse, but over time that had changed.

He knew Regina unlike anyone else in Storybrooke ever had—except maybe the imp.

He knew that she'd made a mistake.

Had she really thought that this form of revenge would satisfy her? From what he could see, everyone in the town wasn't exactly happy and in-true-love, but they weren't suffering. If anything, remembering was the true hell in the curse.

Because of that, he was more than convinced that he wasn't the only one who was miserable. Regina had to be just as unhappy as he was, even if she wasn't showing it. How could she show it? This was supposed to be exactly what she wanted.

"What do you mean?" Regina asked, her voice flat-lining as she propped herself up on an elbow to look down at Jefferson. "I don't see anyone else popping enough pills to down a Cheshire cat."

"Never mind." Jefferson pushed Regina back down and started kissing her neck, a hand creeping to her thigh. They'd been lounging in bed for the better part of an hour, but neither of them had bothered to redress. Just as well. It would be better to enjoy this as much as he could before it ended." Doesn't matter."

For a moment it seemed like the queen was going to object, but once his mouth continued south she quieted down—for a few minutes at least, until his tongue made her speak up again.

"Oh—oh Jefferson—"

Having Jefferson's face between her legs sated the queen more than his cock had—and that was fine. There was something comfortable about the way that she playfully slapped his ass when he left to go make the both of them coffee. For a moment every now and then, it felt like they didn't hate one another.

Regina could say that they were even, and that was fine—but Jefferson didn't believe it.

When he came back to tell her that the coffee was brewing, the shower was running. Cracking his neck (he was out of practice, he thought as he rubbed his jaw) he walked into the bathroom and called out her name.

She reached out from behind the shower curtain. He grinned, and let her pull him in.

xxx

It would have been wiser to never see Jefferson again after sleeping with him. Regina wasn't lonely—she just needed to make sure that the hatter stayed miserable. As long as he stayed wretched, they stayed even.

On top of that, as sweet as Graham was, he was a disappointment where it counted. He wanted to treasure her—but Regina hadn't needed to be treasured in a long, long time. Jefferson understood that, and so did his mouth.

He understood it in her bed, her living room, and her shower.

It had been after the shower, as she dried her hair and he buttoned his shirt, that she'd said there was no reason they couldn't continue to have brunch. He'd been quick to agree, and as they parted ways his mouth had hovered next to hers for a hot second before he settled for kissing her cheek and walking quickly back to his car.

The following Sunday, she gave him a spectacular blowjob in the spare bedroom, and he took care of her soon after.

That she'd started sleeping with Jefferson didn't really surprise her. It was something that they were good at—that they'd always been good at—and really, it shouldn't have taken this long for the hatter to crawl back into her bed. The thing that really surprised her was that everything they did wasn't about how much they'd hurt one another.

Some of it was, of course. Sometimes she'd choke back rage, digging her fingernails into his ribs as she rode him hard and fast and thought about choking him until it felt like he was going to lose his head for a second time.

On other occasions, Jefferson would take his time pressing kisses down her body from her lips to her calves, ravishing every part of her and making sure that nothing went untouched or unworshipped.

Either of them could have stopped it at any point, but there was something about the way that Jefferson stared at her with knitted brows when she woke up the next morning that made her remember the man he'd been (the man she'd destroyed) and that at least some good was coming out of the curse.

There was also something about the way that he wrapped his arms around her waist while she was making him pancakes and started to kiss the back of her neck that made her smile and think of better times.

Their mutual hatred for each other made everything easier. It didn't matter how gently Jefferson woke her up in the morning, or how softly Regina whispered "goodnight" when they went to bed.

They'd ruined one another, and that made the sex easy.

It took so little, in fact, to fall into Jefferson's arms that Regina stopped paying attention to other things.

It took her a month to realize that she'd missed her period.

As she let out a sigh of relief and looked at the negative pregnancy test, Jefferson called out to make sure that she was alright and Regina Mills held back tears that she didn't understand.

It wasn't until later, when Jefferson was dozing next to her, that she made a very important decision.

She wanted a baby.