CHAPTER 4 –BREATHING LESSONS
Woo Bin started towards his car, taking his keys out when Jan Di said, "I think you've spent enough time in your car for now Sunbae! We can walk to where I want to take you this morning."
Woo Bin was surprised that she actually had someplace specific in mind and agreed that walking might indeed be better for him right now. They hadn't walked far when Woo Bin recognized the gates of the district's temple. Was this what Jan Di had in mind?
Jan Di noticed his questioning gaze and explained. "Ji Hoo Sunbae brought me here years ago, when I neened some peace. Since it's so close to the medical school, I started coming for morning meditations whenever I can. It's really helped me stay centered with all the craziness of school and the hospital."
Woo Bin gave her a small smile to show his assent and they entered in, bowing to the monk who came out to welcome them. "Annyeonghashimnika, Sunim!"
"Annyeonghaseyo Jan Di. You've brought a friend along this morning I see! Are you also a medical student?" he asked of WB.
Woo Bin's mind seemed to freeze as he tried to think of how to explain exactly what he was. "Aniyo, Sunim. I'm…um …I'm just a friend."
"You are welcome, 'just a friend.' That is certainly enough to be," he said with a smile as he turned and walked toward the meditation room.
Jan Di and Woo Bin followed, removing their shoes and settling themselves onto the cushions as several others filed into the room around them. WB noticed the ease with which JD slipped into her meditations.
With a kindly look toward WB, the monk gave him a guiding reminder. "…Get in touch with your breath. Feel the various sensations in your body. Note any thoughts and feelings that may be present. Let mindfulness touch this moment. Can you feel your breath? Can you perceive the dawning of each in-breath? Can you enjoy the feeling of the breath freely entering your body in this moment? Breathe in I smile, breathe out I calm my body. Dwelling in the present moment, it is a wonderful moment." (Thich Nhat Hanh)
Woo Bin drew in a breath deep to his belly and tried to let his eyes and mind unfocus…
An hour later, Woo Bin was trying to wake his limbs up as Jan Di was preparing to leave.
She turned to smile at Woo Bin and told him she'd wait for him outside. As he unfolded his surprisingly stiff legs he suddenly felt the weight of the monk's gaze upon him.
Looking up, he saw the monk regarding him with a solemn and thoughtful expression. "Is there anything troubling you, my young friend? Anything you'd like to talk about?"
Woo Bin's eyes widened a little at this and he responded perhaps a little too quickly, "Aniyo, kamsahamnida, Sunim! Kenchana , I don't need anything, really!"
The monk regarded him quietly for another moment as WB squirmed under his scrutiny. Finally he smiled, and putting a hand on WB's shoulder, recited to him, "Do not pursue the past. Do not lose yourself in the future. The past no longer is. The future has not yet come. Look deeply at life as it is. In the very here and now, the practitioner dwells in stability and freedom. We must be diligent today. To wait until tomorrow is too late. Death comes unexpectedly. How can we bargain with it? The sage calls a person who knows how to dwell in mindfulness night and day, 'one who knows the better way to live alone'." (Bhadnekaratta Sutta)
Woo Bin felt his heart suddenly still as the monk's words seemed to settle over his soul like a blanket, quieting the anxious undercurrent of his thoughts and opening the possibility of relief from his hidden anguish. "Kamsahamnida, Sunim" he replied with a bow and slowly went out to meet Jan Di.
Jan Di noticed Woo Bin's quiet, thoughtful state as he rejoined her at the gate. "Everything all right, Sunbae? What were you talking with the Sunim about?" she asked.
"Hmmm? Ah, ne, Jan Di-yah. He just gave me…something to think about."
Jan Di smiled, grabbed him by the arm and began walking back toward the street. "Well, what should we do now?"
Woo Bin looked at her with something of his normal grin. "I'm starving!" he said clutching his stomach dramatically. "My cheap host this morning only gave me tea for breakfast!"
"What?! Just for that, you're buying us both lunch, Sunbae!"
The rest of the day passed easily between them as Woo Bin vacillated from joking and teasing Jan Di to lapses into a quiet contemplation. Jan Di still wasn't sure what was going on with him and while he still seemed distracted as he had been that morning, she noticed he also seemed somehow steadier as well.
They returned to the dorms as the time approached for Jan Di to prepare for her shift at the hospital. "Komawo, Jan Di," Woo Bin smiled at her as he took his leave.
"Anytime, Woo Bin Sunbae! It was a nice day."
Woo Bin was about to slide into his car when Jan Di turned from the door and called out, "Ya! Song Woo Bin – promise me you'll sleep in a house tonight!"
Woo Bin laughed and returned, "Ne, I don't think my neck could take another night in the car!"
Once behind the wheel though, he was faced with the problem he hadn't been able to take on clearly the night before – where was he going to go? Somehow, he just didn't feel ready to return home, although he knew he couldn't avoid it forever. Luckily, fate solved the problem for him as his phone rang. "Yo! So Yi Jung!" he answered, "You better not have anybody in your guest room 'cause I'm coming over, Bro!"