'So go on, you just keep running,

But I'll always be there to bring you back!'

~Axel, Kingdom Heart 358/2 Days

Kairi

They sprawled out on the hotel bed and stared up at the ceiling, trying to keep their minds off of the obvious fact that they were sharing a bed for the first time. Kairi really didn't know what to make of it all. She loved Sora, she'd known that for years, but she still felt a cold rock settle in the bottom of her stomach as she realized that after hazy years and countless, faceless men, the most important person she wanted to be with intimately would always wonder if she was comparing him.

She felt sick trying to recollect the faces of all the men she'd slept with. So many names lost and so many voices that didn't matter anymore, so many faces that made her feel sick thinking about it. Sora was so special, how could he enjoy sleeping with her, knowing how reckless she'd been and how careless she was with her body? She couldn't allow him to touch her like that when she still felt like used clothes. No matter how much she wanted to reach out and touch him.

He loved her. She knew that so clearly. He'd forgive her, and she knew he didn't think she was damaged or used goods. She knew he respected her. But this wasn't about him; this was about everything going on in her head. And for the love of God, the one perfect night to spend with each other, she couldn't give herself to him because she felt guilty. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

"Kairi? What's wrong?" Sora asked, alarm ringing in his voice. She turned to him and realized she'd begun to weep. Looking at him now, she couldn't believe how innocent and kind his eyes were. She could fall into the lakes that were his eyes and drown in complete adoration. More tears dribbled over her cheeks and she buried her face in his shoulder.

"I wish I weren't such a goddamn whore!" She wailed into his undershirt. She felt his shoulder stiffen underneath her shuddering frame and felt his hands cup her face,

"Kairi, look at me," and when she squeezed her eyes shut against another wave of tears, she heard him repeat, "Look at me." His voice low, and dare she say it, upset. Kairi braced herself for the imminent anger she felt she'd face, and peeked at him through drenched eyelashes. His eyebrows were scrunched together in stern concentration, his hand holding her chin in place.

"You are the most beautiful woman I've ever met, and that didn't change just because you lost your way for a little bit. Don't call yourself that ever again, you understand? I love you, Kairi. I love you, and that's not going to stop because of how many people you've slept with. I need you to remember that while I haven't slept with as many people as you have, I'm not exactly a virgin. I've slept with other women, and I wish I'd said no to them. I wish I'd said no to them so that I could've shared this moment with just you. But that's not what happened, and I need to make the best of it. We need to make the best of it." He smiled a bit and raised an eyebrow, "And I dare you to tell me that I won't be good in bed. I dare you. Because I have no doubt that you are hands down breathtaking."

Kairi stared up at Sora, wide-eyed, for a moment, before she shook her head, "How can you be so forgiving?" To this, Sora simply shrugged, and replied boldly, "You're me soulmate."

She gasped and stilled in his arms. This had to be a dream. There was no way that this was really happening, that he'd said that and that her stomach was knotting in what she could only describe as adoration. She opened her mouth to protest, but was met with his lips, catching her mouth open and sliding his tongue across her bottom row of teeth. Shit. Her mouth responded on instinct, and before she could consciously tell herself no she'd wrapped a leg around his waist and her hands in his shirt.

Her mind kept telling her to calm down for a second, to think through what she wanted to do, but her body refused to listen. Her body wanted what she'd fantasized about for years now. There was no way she was going to stop all of this and try to tell herself no, or Sora, for that matter, who'd begun nibbling her ear. This wasn't about to stop, and her insides jumped when she came to that conclusion.

"Please don't try to tell me that you think I'd do poorly, darling," He muttered in her ear, her mind becoming aware of one of his hands snaking its way under her shirt, "Because I'll fuck you like a queen."

Her mind couldn't compute what was happening fast enough for her to respond, his weight on top of her, his hips against hers, his hand running over the tips of her breasts. She felt like she should have been reacting more, moaning, something, but all she felt was the will to concentrate on how good everything felt. It'd been such a long time since she'd just sat back and enjoyed her man and how he made her feel. She'd always performed and done everything for him, never the other way around. Kairi found this strange, and vaguely sad, and she resolved to laying back and letting him peel off her shirt and allowing the grin to splay out on her face when she saw his reaction to her topless.

He glanced up at her face, a blush creeping up through his cheeks. She figured if she was going to truly enjoy herself, she might as well show him what she wanted, so she took one of his hands and held it over her breast and kissed down his neck. She felt like jumping up and doing a dance, she was actually enjoying herself! She was having fun letting her high school crush feel her up.

Soon she'd managed to fling his shirt across the room and after admiring his chest for a moment showered him with kisses of appreciation. She'd left bite marks along his chest, something she noted that he enjoyed thoroughly, and before she could continue down his stomach, Sora pushed her off of him and laid her down on her stomach, straddled her, and trailed kisses all the way down from her neck to the small of her back and the waistline of her shorts, making her squirm. And no matter how much she pleaded for him to let her do something for him, he wouldn't let her. Kairi began to feel like she was losing her mind, and then in one ridiculously fast whoosh, he'd taken off her shorts and the underwear underneath, leaving her naked in front of Sora.

She flipped over onto her back and glanced up at his face, snickered to herself, and then got his shorts off of him relatively quickly, though she hadn't realized that her hands were shaking until then. His underwear followed his shorts to the floor, and before the clothes had settled on the ground she had him lying on his back, her lips trailing down to his waist, her hands dancing over his hips and thighs. Her mouth on him.

It had never dawned on Kairi how different this all would be with someone she truly loved, how fun it was, and how much she actually cared if he was having a good time, and judging by his face whenever she chanced to glance up, he was having the time of his life. She felt his hands on her shoulders, prying her away, and back down onto her back. Her heart thumped in her chest embarrassingly fast as he kissed her chest, her stomach, her thighs, and finally in between her legs. How the hell had she never tried harder to be with Sora like this? This was the only heaven she'd ever want to be if there was one.

Sora's eyes, darker blue than she'd ever seen before, were fixed on her, giving her the urge to blush and look away. His mouth on her, his fingers inside her, she finally lost it, and wished that she could never stop living this moment, But too soon she came back down to earth and to Sora's wide eyes right above hers and his hands on either side of her head, the question in his eyes she answered with her hands grabbing his hips and pushing him into her.

Their eyes never strayed from each other's. How intimate this was to Kairi. Her insides cartwheeled over and over again and her mind felt like all logical thought had been swept under a rug and forgotten until a better time. He could see her, really see her, to the corners of her soul and the depths of her heart, he knew her and he saw her, and he was here, with her, inside her, looking at her as if she were the first dawn man had seen.

She vowed to herself that she would stay with Sora, be with him for the rest of her life, because finally, after years and years of just fucking, she had learned to make love.

Xion

Xion had done exactly nothing since arriving at the house, and she could tell it bothered the other inhabitants of said house. Everyone either thought she was sick or slacking off, and though she was doing neither, she didn't try to correct anyone otherwise. There was no point to it at all, as she knew she was only waiting around until Riku left town and she could go back out on her own. She admitted to herself that she felt a little bad for just leaving Ven and Aqua, but that didn't stop her from thinking to what Aqua and Riku were doing in town, and it absolutely disgusted her, made her want to shriek and throw things across the house. It'd been a week, and in that time her body had become a carving post.

In fact there was only one pair of pants and one long sleeved shirt that she owned that would cover all of the damage she'd done to her body. It wasn't as if she'd really care if everyone in the house saw, but that old paranoia that had run her life since the 8th grade lingered, telling her to keep everything hidden. Xion really didn't know how long she'd be waiting in the house. I could be a week, or it could be a month. She just knew that she couldn't see him without her heart exploding.

Her eyes lingered on Vanitas, who was blabbering to Tifa about something or another, stoned out of his head. He turned to her and exclaimed,

"You've got a customer tonight, Xion! He's hot, too. Maybe he'll buy more than just drugs, eh?" Xion rolled her eyes. Vanitas always had a special talent of getting on her nerves. "And where, am I meeting said customer, Van?" She inquired, keeping her words clipped and monotone.

"Why, Xion, you've got to know that I knew exactly where to send him! Behind the holy house like always! Midnight." He explained, flopping onto the couch, next to her. She shifted slightly away from him and replied, "That's great, did you think to ask what he wanted to buy?" Vanitas thought about this before shaking his head, "Nah, just bring everything!" Xion snorted at that. God, he was really high. Xion fixed her eyes back onto the television across from her and crossed her arms, wincing away the wooziness she felt as her wounds brushed against one another. Whoever this is, he was obviously not very new to this stuff. She had three different drugs she could give him! She thought back to Vanitas telling her that the stranger was hot.

"Hey, Vanitas, what did he look like?" But beside her, Vanitas was out, drooling slightly from the corner of his mouth. Xion smiled in spite of herself and patted the sleeping boy's knee, "Sweet dreams, dipshit." She muttered, and headed off to her bed where she hoped to get an hour or two of sleep in before she had to go. God, she was so tired lately. She shut the door behind her and peeled off the shirt she was wearing, cursing softly as she did. The bandaged around her left arm were soaked through. It'd been doing that for a week. Xion crumpled up the bloody bandages and shoved them under the mattress where no one would look, and took the last of her bandaging and wrapped it over her arm.

Her head throbbed as she hadn't taken anything in nearly a week. If her cuts didn't close and heal soon she'd start worrying. Xion lay down on the blow up mattress next to Yuffie's and let her eyes close out everything else but her thoughts.

It was two till midnight, and there was nobody in sight. Xion rolled her eyes and thought to herself that Vanitas probably didn't even remember their conversation and hallucinated talking to someone. Maybe if she just went back nobody would ask her about it. But she needed the money for bandages and a new shirt….one till midnight.

A scuffle of shoes on the pavement caught her attention and she turned to look behind her. A very faint figure was headed towards her, hunched and slow. She huffed and turned to her approaching customer. No matter how many times she had to do this, she always had to swallow the feeling of terror as a man approached her back here. Xaldin had taken his toll on her. Once the man was closer, she could make out that he was a tall man, well build; however she couldn't see his face. This didn't bother her; there were a few clients she had that didn't show their face to her.

"Alright, dude, what do you need?" she questioned, crossing her arms and putting her weight on one hip. The figure stilled completely. She frowned, and glared up at his head, "Something the matter?"

He still didn't say anything. Xion waited a moment longer before huffing, "I don't have all night, don't waste my time." And as she turned to leave, she fell. Humiliation coated her, making the fact that she could feel all of the cuts in her legs burst open almost bearable, but not quite. She yelped in pain, feeling gravel digging into her palms and arms.

"Xion!" The man yelled, and ran for her, holding her hands in his when he reached her. Xion's heart plummeted. She knew that voice before she saw his face.

Riku's eyes scanned her face, worry lines etched into his forehead and around his mouth. His long hair was pulled back in a ponytail, and his arms were still strong and capable looking. But he'd changed since she'd seen him. He seemed so…old. Not just old, but serious, too. So serious it made her anxious. What had happened to him?

"Why are you here?" She asked in a whisper. She couldn't find the strength to get up anymore. His eyes glanced down at her legs, her hands, her arms. She knew blood had soaked through her clothes somewhere, and the lamp illuminating the back of the church must have showcased that nicely. His eyebrows bunched together and his eyes looked so tortured.

"I'm here for you, silly." He replied, smiling weakly at her. She glared at him, "I don't need your pity, Riku. Go back to fucking Aqua." She snapped, hating herself for every word. He jerked back like she had just insulted his mother and opened his mouth dumbly. She felt sick.

"...Xion, I'm not fucking Aqua. She's been helping me look for you for the past week. We met on the plane ride down here and she offered me her help…I left two and a half weeks ago to start looking for you." Riku finally said, his eyes looking over her body again with worry, "I heard that you were…dealing, and I got really worried. I was scared you were going to try and kill yourself like Kairi or someone would hurt you…" His eyes clouded over and he turned away for a moment, breathing hard.

Xion widened her eyes. She found it hard to breathe. Could she believe what she was hearing? Riku was here not for Aqua, but for her? But that wasn't what she dwelled on then,

"Kairi tried to kill herself?" She asked, her voice small. Riku turned back to her, a little bit more in control of his emotions, and nodded, "About a week and a half ago. She ran in front of a car. I only found out because Sora told me…"

"Wait, you're with Sora? Were you all together but me?!" Xion asked, fury building in her throat, her vision wavering.

"No! Not even close. None of us have seen each other in five year, Xion. The only reason I was talking to Sora is because he's offering all of us a job at the company he works for. He's been hunting down Naminé and Roxas, and getting Kairi out of the hospital for close to three weeks. He needs our answers by the end of the week. And I was already looking for you…So he just called and asked if I could find you so we could all talk together…and I found you. Jesus, I didn't think I'd find you in time, and you're bleeding everywhere and you're addicted to drugs and God, I'm so sorry I didn't get here quicker, I'm so fucking sorry." Silent tears slipped down his cheeks, slipping from his chin onto the pavement.

Xion couldn't think. She couldn't move. Riku was here. Riku was here for her. And he thought that it was his fault she'd done drugs. That she sold them. He wasn't fucking Aqua. He wasn't pissed at her. He was pissed at himself. She reached out an aching hand and squeezed his shoulder. She blinked away the feeling of light-headedness and held his shoulder. She kept ahold of him for long minutes to follow, and finally, after an agonizing amount of time, Riku stopped weeping.

It was then that her breath didn't catch right. Her head felt like it weighed a hundred pounds and was stuffed with cotton. She glanced down and realized that her arm was bleeding profusely. Her legs felt wrong and her head ached. Her eyes fluttered about, trying to focus on Riku enough,

"Riku." She whispered, her body beginning to slump over. She felt Riku grab her before she could slump all the way over, "Xion!" he gasped, rolling up her sleeves and holding her gently to his chest. "I don't want to die, Riku," She murmured, and after that her mind hazed over.

She saw a car, she saw Aqua, she saw bright lights over her. And then she saw black.

I probably should have put a warning on top of this chapter for inappropriate-ness and trigger warnings…