Finn found himself in the same hallway he had fought off Karofsky and his goons, this time calm and alone. This time though, instead of the sound of Rachel whimpering and the lewd comments spewing out of their mouths, Finn heard singing fill the halls. Regionals. Finn smiled at the realization and took off at a trot towards the auditorium's stage. As he came up on the stage door, he walked through and up the stairs to the side of the stage, invisible to everyone. He watched a group perform a song from one of Kurt's favorite musicals, Evita. He only knew this because he watched because Madonna was in it and she is a total MILF. He watched and listened in awe as the group performed almost flawlessly in his opinion, but then he didn't know anything about music outside of what he liked, and he doubted anyone would be singing Foreigner or Radiohead. As the show choir passed right through him as they left the stage, Finn stepped out onto the empty stage and looked over the audience. He saw many faces that he recognized, like Mr. and Mr. Berry, Mr. Schue, Coach Bieste and even Coach Sylvester, but then his eyes landed on his mom.
She looked so much better than when he had seen her at Thanksgiving. She had put weight back on, and no longer looked frail, but healthy. Her rosy cheeks had come back as well as the shine in her hair. Finn could still detect sadness in her eyes, but she did seem better, happier, and that was all that he wanted. He wanted her to continue living, even though he knew it was without him. She had her hand on top of Burt's and that's when a circle of gold glinted in the dim lighting of the audience.
She and Burt had gotten married. She wasn't Carole Hudson anymore; she was Carole Hummel. Finn wasn't sure how he felt about that, because he would always be a Hudson, and now his mom had just kind of gotten rid of the Hudson part of her life. He felt the now familiar tightening in his chest at that thought, but fought it away. Finn moved away from the stage and towards his mom in the audience, kneeling beside her when he reached her, placing his hand over hers, causing a visible shiver to go through her. He kept staring at his mom, his mind filled with a million questions as to why she was erasing her life as a Hudson, when a voice from the stage brought him out of his thoughts.
He knew her voice; it reverberated through him in the best possible way. As he turned his head, he saw Rachel standing in the middle of the stage, her pink microphone clenched in her hands, a blue one shouldered dress draping her curves, as she belted out a song Finn knew. It was Ed Sheeran's Kiss Me, a song he actually liked, but the lyrics were now given the Rachel Berry touch, and it brought even more meaning to the straight forward song, Settle down with me, Cover me up, Cuddle me in, Lie down with me, And hold me in your arms, And your heart's against my chest, your lips pressed in my neck, I'm falling for your eyes, but they don't know me yet, And with a feeling I'll forget, I'm in love now, Kiss me like you wanna be loved, You wanna be loved, You wanna be loved, This feels like falling in love, Falling in love, We're falling in love, Settle down with me, And I'll be your safety, You'll be my lady, I was made to keep your body warm, But I'm cold as the wind blows so hold me in your arms, Oh no, My heart's against your chest, your lips pressed in my neck, I'm falling for your eyes, but they don't know me yet, And with this feeling I'll forget, I'm in love now, Kiss me like you wanna be loved, You wanna be loved, You wanna be loved, This feels like falling in love, Falling in love, We're falling in love, Yeah I've been feeling everything, From hate to love, From love to lust, From lust to truth, I guess that's how I know you, So I hold you close to help you give it up, So kiss me like you wanna be loved, You wanna be loved, You wanna be loved, This feels like falling in love, Falling in love, We're falling in love, Kiss me like you wanna be loved, You wanna be loved, You wanna be loved, This feels like falling in love, Falling in love, We're falling in love
It was like Rachel's voice had a power over him, because despite wanting to stay next to his mom and hold her hand, he felt himself stand up as Rachel sang, walking towards the stage. As she continued singing, her eyes closed as she poured all of her heart and soul into the performance, Finn jumped up on the stage and stood next to her, mesmerized. The song had a meaning that now touched his soul. She was his siren, totally placing him in her trance as the notes floated from her. He couldn't help but smirk as he placed his hand on her bare shoulder, realizing the lyrics seemed to fit the two of him. Finn was really starting to believe that he was falling in love with Rachel.
As she kept singing, he placed his lips on her neck, just like the song and hummed along, and he could feel her body tense under him. He slowly moved his lips against her warm neck, letting his humming and her singing mingle together, creating an electrical buzz between them. As she continued to sing, he allowed his hand to skim down her bare arm as he kissed behind her ear, her scent invading his senses. He could feel her body vibrate, hopefully in anticipation as she finished her song. He pulled back as she introduced the New Directions, but when she turned, she glared at him and mouthed the word leave. As soon as she said that he felt a tug, like he was attached to a bungee cord, that sent him flying off the stage and ending with him in Mr. Schue's closed office.
That had never happened before. When he tried to exit the office, it was like a force field was holding him in, he couldn't leave. No matter if he tried walking through the walls or even opening the door physically, he was trapped in the office, trapped by Rachel. Finn yelled for Rachel, wanting her attention, wanting to know why she did this to him and how she did it. She truly had a power over him that was unexplainable.
After a few minutes, Finn saw the door knob move and the door swing open revealing Rachel still in her stage costume a dark look on her face. Finn didn't like that look, not at all. It reminded him of Angry Quinn, and whenever she reared her ugly head, Finn always ended up hurt and feeling stupid. He knew though that Rachel didn't have a mean, ugly bone in her, so he didn't have to worry. She was kind, gentle and cared.
He was wrong, "Finn! What in the hell was that? What were you doing to me up on the stage? I was performing Finn, if it hadn't been for my superior self-control and professionalism, then I could have blown our set and chances of winning. How could you do that? How could you be so selfish and immature?" Finn just stood there, literally taking her rant in and as she talked, and as she punctuated each statement and question with a large stinging slaps. Damn her and the ability to make him solid and feel.
As she went to slap his shoulder again, Finn grabbed her hand, forcing her to stop and look at him, "Rachel. Rachel calm down. The way you sing that song. It touched me, right here." He took her hand and touched his chest above his heart with it and was shocked when he saw Rachel shake her head, like she was trying to get rid of him in her head and the feel of his hand.
"No Finn, I didn't touch your heart. You don't have a heart. You're a ghost Finn. I am a human, I have a heart and feelings and I just can't be in any type of relationship with you. It's not right. I have Jesse, and he treats me well and I care for him, deeply. I can have a regular relationship with him. I can go places with him and hold him whenever I want to and have him over for dinner and meet my fathers. I can't do any of that with you and I have to worry about you taking me over, like you did at Thanksgiving."
"But Rach…"
"No Finn, I know what you're going to say and NO, you aren't human anymore Finn. You know how I know this, by this." Finn watched as in one swift motion Rachel grabbed a letter opener from the desk and punctured her palm, letting out a brutal hiss at the pain, as thick crimson blood started to seep out. She grabbed Finn's palm and sliced his palm open, and nothing happened. The skin just stayed open, nothing coming out. Rachel forced both palms into Finn's vision, forcing him to look, "Look Finn, to be human, you need blood to give you life. I have blood, I live. You have no blood, you're a ghost. I can't help you anymore Finn. I'm sorry, but this has just become too convoluted for even me to figure out. I can't be around you anymore. I'm sorry Finn."
He wasn't going to back down though. He loved Rachel and he knew; he knew she loved him too. He needed to prove it to her, he wasn't sure how, but he would. Didn't his mom always say love conquered all? Well this time it would have to conquer death.
Rachel stormed out of the office, and back to the practice room that New Directions was waiting in for their next set. As she walked in, every eye turned towards her, surprise evident as she went and grabbed a Band-Aid to put over her self-inflected wound. "What?" She snarled, after dealing with Finn, she really didn't want to deal with anyone else.
She saw Mr. Schue step up and walk over to her, "Rachel, they've called for those competing in the soloists' fresh read competition. Jesse has already gone, you need to get out on stage in the next minute or you'll be disqualified." Rachel had totally forgotten about the soloist's competition due to Finn's interference, so she quickly ran to the stage to sign in and hear the instructions for the competition. A young man with extremely slicked back hair and rectangular spectacles stood in front of the five soloists, looking superiorly over the singers. Rachel didn't like his smarmy, superior look and scowled slightly as she listened, "All right, over on the table are ten folders, each containing a pre-selected song by the judges. You will blindly choose a folder and that is your song to sing, there are no trades or passes. These songs range from standards to contemporary. Our recorder will record which song you picked and then you will have fifteen minutes to work the song to fit you and your style. At that time a runner will bring you back to the auditorium and you will sit in the front row and judges will randomly choose the order of soloists by number. Any questions?" The man looked for any questions and then clapped his hands and everyone lined up and each singer grabbed a colored folder and opened it, as the title was recorded next to their name. Rachel gasped when she saw her sheet music; it was The Goo Goo Dolls, Iris. She knew this song, and where before it was just a song she had heard on the radio and in a movie, now it had meaning.
Her hands shook as she walked over to her assigned room, surprisingly the room Finn had taken her after the Karofsky incident. She let her fingers skim over the music, closing her eyes and thinking about how this song was so relevant in her life right now. She knew someone that was willing to give up everything for her, even though he really couldn't. Finn was always there for her, no matter what. He never walked away from her. He never left her; she was the one always leaving him. It wasn't that she didn't care for him, but it was just too much. She felt for him too much, whether it was her feelings or his. In some ways he was perfect for her, but she knew it wasn't right. He needed to move on, to go to heaven and be whatever it is he is supposed to be. He couldn't stay here for her, he needed to just go on and leave her behind to grow up and lead a normal life.
Rachel was lost in her thoughts about Finn when she heard the knock of the runner coming for her. Sighing in resignation, Rachel grabbed her folder and opened the door, giving the runner a small smile and followed him to the auditorium, sitting down next to Jesse. As she sat down, Jesse gave her a huge smile and patted her hand reassuringly, and even though she wanted to return it, her mind was focused on someone else.
She blankly listened to the judge as he called up the first soloist, Jesse St. James. Rachel gave him a watery smile and continued to think about the lyrics of her song. When Jesse finished, he sat back down, a superior smirk on his mouth as he looked at her expectantly, waiting for some praise, but she just kept staring blankly, her mind elsewhere.
"Rachel Berry of McKinley High School will be singing Iris by The Goo Goo Dolls." Rachel blinked several times, realizing that it was her turn. She walked uncharacteristically slow up the stairs and to the stage, Rachel handed the judge her folder, not needing it, and closed her eyes, waiting for the music to start.
And I'd give up forever to touch you, Cuz I know that you feel me somehow, You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be, And I don't want to go home right now Rachel thought of all the times she felt Finn's cool touch and all the times he struggled to reach her, needed her and was denied her.
And all I can taste is this moment, And all I can breathe is your life, Cuz sooner or later it's over, I just don't want to miss you tonight All of those months that he had disappeared and how she desperately prayed to see him again. His kisses that set her on fire.
And I don't want the world to see me, Cuz I don't think that they'd understand, When everything's made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am Rachel opened her eyes as she sang and saw Finn, standing next to his mom, a destroyed look on his face as he kept his hand on his mom's shoulder, his eyes, now hollow, staring up at her, while he mouthed the words along with her. She cared so deeply for Finn, it hurt her soul to see him like this, even though she needed to push him away, tears started to slip down her cheeks. Through her tears as she sang, she saw another ghost, standing in the back, wearing a dark suit and white hat. He was obviously a ghost since he had the same transparent, watery appearance that Finn had. She could sense that the ghost was staring at Finn and Carole and despite the fact it that Finn seemed oblivious to him, she continued singing.
And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming, Or the moment of truth in your lies, When everything feels like the movies, Yeah, you'd bleed just to know you're alive. She had just cut Finn to show him that he didn't bleed, so that he wasn't real or alive. She was so stupid. All he wanted was to hold onto his humanity.
And I don't want the world to see me, Cuz I don't think that they'd understand, When everything's made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am. Rachel opened her eyes to look at him, her Finn, and the tears came harder.
And I don't want the world to see me, Cuz I don't think that they'd understand, When everything's made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am, And I don't want the world to see me, Cuz I don't think that they'd understand, When everything's made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am, I just want you to know who I am, I just want you to know who I am, I just want you to know who I am. Rachel finished her solo, strong and with all the emotion that had been building up since September when she first saw those whiskey colored eyes staring at her from across the food table. This song was hers and Finn's.
As she looked out in the audience, she saw Finn's pained face as his hand sat on his mother's shoulder, tears rolling down Carole's cheeks, Finn's tears Rachel was sure of. She looked up where she saw the other ghost and saw him smile crookedly at her and turn on his heels and disappear, Finn following a few seconds later.