"…ninety-eight, ninety-nine, two hundred. Good job Finn. You did those in record time. Go rest for a few before you go for your run. See you in ten." Finn leaned back on his elbows as Dan patted his knees and walked upstairs to the kitchen, leaving Finn on his own in the basement/workout room. He grabbed a bottle of water and chugged it, not caring if all the water got into his mouth or not. Wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, Finn stood up and walked over to the bench press and just sat down. He was tired, and he really wasn't looking forward to this three mile run. He understood why Dan was picked as his mentor, for his situation to be fixed he had to be peak condition, so a former Marine made an excellent mentor, but damn if he wasn't hard.
It really sucked that he couldn't tell how long he had been doing this training, because in his mind it had only been a few weeks, but he knew much more time had passed for Rachel. Was she still in high school, was it summer vacation, or had she already started college? Finn sighed as he let his head fall into his hands as he let the memories of Rachel flood his mind. Rachel talking to his grandma, telling his mom how much he missed her, slapping him, his tears streaming down her face, kissing her senseless, taking her over, saving her from the McKinley goons, listening to her sing and realizing how much he loved her, her naked body writhing under him as they made love. All those memories kept him going for whatever the plan was for Finn to return. He just knew the basics and not the specifics, since Dan said it was best that way.
Sure enough, as the clock ticked off the tenth minute, Dan came back down with that damned stopwatch and looked at the treadmill. Finn groaned in response. He really hated the damned treadmill. He could do the sit-ups, push-ups, chin-ups, climb the rope, scale the walls and everything else, but he hated the treadmill. Running was boring, and he had to run three miles twice a day, with improving times each time. Begrudgingly he stood up and walked over to the treadmill and straddled the belt, waiting for his directions. "Today, you are going to simulate having to go into a sprint immediately and keep it up as long as you can. I'm going to time you and your goal now is to prolong you sprint every time. Your eighteen minute three mile run is acceptable, so now we need to work on your sprinting. I promise not to make you sprint three miles, but if you can sprint for a mile, that would be outstanding. So I'm starting the belt off at an eight, and if you know you can run faster, move it up. Understand?"
"Yes sir. I'm to sprint until I want to pass out. Right?"
"You got it Buck, now get going." Finn jumped on the belt and started his sprint. Sprinting was different than the long runs, he already wanted to hack up his lungs after just a few minutes, but he kept going. When his legs finally died and he jumped back onto the sides, he looked at Dan expectantly and heard him click his tongue. "Only two minutes of sprint time. I'd like you to try to work up to five minutes, but we're done with training for now. Why don't you shower and we'll meet in the living room." Finn nodded and fought the urge to crawl up the stairs and to the bathroom. After a hot, long, steamy bath to relax his achy muscles, Finn grabbed a pair of shorts and a polo shirt. One thing Finn did enjoy about this in-between place is that he got to change his clothes. No more red jersey and jeans. Dan had said he got to do this so that he would get back into the habit of changing clothes. The only thing is Dan was always straightening his clothes out; tuck your shirt in flat, make sure the buttons of your shirt lines up with the button and zipper of your pants with your belt buckle lined up too, shoes are neat, with even shoe laces. Finn believed Dan had more rules about how to dress than Kurt did, and that was saying something, but he would never tell Dan that. He didn't want to argue with the Marine. He had a feeling he would have a "coming to Jesus meeting" if he did talk back to Dan, and he didn't want to experience that. Being dead was bad enough.
Finn walked into the kitchen and grabbed ingredients to make some chicken and pasta. One thing Dan had told him at the beginning is that he had to learn how to cook, so he had taught Finn the basics and then as Finn became more comfortable, gave him cookbooks to expand his repertoire. Dan walked in and put several books on the table and then sat down as he watched Finn get the meal going. "Chicken and pasta, huh?"
"Yea, I like it and I can change it up. I am learning though. Shoot all I could make when I was alive besides cold cut sandwiches was grilled cheese and anything that I just had to pop in the microwave so this is a huge improvement." Finn continued cooking and wondered why Dan kept staring at him, a lost look in his eyes. "Is something bothering you sir? I mean you keep staring at me and it's just kinda weird."
Finn watched Dan blink his eyes several times and look at him, "Sorry, just got lost in a memory. You remind me of someone I used to know, especially the way you work the kitchen. Just someone I miss."
"Oh. Sorry?" Finn felt bad for making his mentor sad, but he couldn't help that he reminded him of someone he used to know. Not wanting to upset Dan anymore, he switched subjects, "When this mistake is all fixed, am I going to remember things like you do? Will I remember my past?"
Dan shifted in his chair, instantly uncomfortable, "Well no you won't. I remember my past because I'm where I'm supposed to be. I was supposed to die in the war. I've lived the life that was expected of me, except for not really getting to be a dad. I only got to see my son once, when I was home on leave and he was just a few months old, but it wasn't in my cards to be his dad I guess, because no one tried to fix it. You though, you'll have your memories, but they'll be tucked way back in your memory. There may be some things that trigger them, but for the most part, they'll just stay in the back of your mind. You might remember them in a dream, but that will probably all they'll ever be, dreams. Same will happen with Rachel, Finn Hudson will be a memory that will be tucked back into the recesses of her mind. Essentially Finn, her memories of you will be wiped. We can't have her remembering you."
Finn sat down, stunned. He would forget Rachel and she'd forget him. That couldn't happen. They loved each other. They were connected somehow, despite the barrier of death. She was the one reason he wanted to go back to a human life, well her and his mom. "What if I don't want that? What if I need those memories of Rachel?"
"This is a non-negotiable Finn. A mistake happened, your life was cut short before everything that was supposed to happen, and now it's being fixed. You don't have a choice in what will now happen Finn. It is out of your hands and in his, and he makes these decisions. You don't question or rebuke him." Finn watched as Dan talked, a look of seriousness coming over him. Just as Finn was about to keep pushing, the timer went off, making Finn focus on his food instead of Dan. After dishing up two plates and setting one down in front of Dan and the other in his spot. Finn looked at the books that were still sitting on the table.
"What are those for?" He asked, motioning with his fork towards the stack of four or five books.
"Your homework. You need background, and these will give you some of the background you need. After you finish these and pass a test, then I'll give you some files with more specific information."
"Does that mean it's coming close to the end for me?"
"Yes it does. Everything is lining up for us to fix this mistake, so have to make sure that you're ready." Finn could see the uneasiness in Dan as he spoke, like he knew his job, but he didn't even want Finn to leave.
Finn sat there for a minute as he let all the information sink in, looking back at Dan, he straightened up and looked Dan right in the eye as he gave him his last request, "I want to see Rachel one more time before I leave. You owe me that if she isn't going to remember me or me her. I love Rachel and I want to explain that she won't see me anymore. Can I at least do that?"
"I don't know. Let me ask, and if they give us the green light, I'll get it all set up. I'll let you know tomorrow. Let's eat before the food gets cold, alright?" Finn knew Dan was finished when he leaned over his plate and stared eating like it was his last meal. Finn ate, but played with his food, his mind deep in thought. When Finn finished, Dan grabbed his plate and started cleaning the nightly dishes while Finn headed up to bed, his mind thinking about everything that had happened in the last few days. He fell into a restless sleep as his mind went back to everything he had learned.
The next week was spent with Finn reading and going through even harder training, and despite being dead, he noticed his physique changing, becoming broader in the shoulders, his torso tighter and overall more muscular. He was still Finn, but just different, even his face looked different to him; his eyes more green than brown now, his face leaner and longer, his nose smaller but still him. The changes he noticed was disconcerting but there were more important things for him to focus on, like the prom he got okayed to attend. The only kicker was that he would have to tell Rachel that she would never see him again, and that was going to absolutely kill him, despite him being dead.
Finally the day arrived for the prom. Dan had assured him that Rachel was going and that he would easily blend in without alarming anyone that he was there. Finn had showered and shaved, noticing that his whiskers were taking on more of a reddish hue than they used to. As Finn left the bathroom and entered his room, he saw a garment bag hanging from his closet door and spit shined shoes sitting below them. As Finn walked over to get the bag, he looked down and literally saw his reflection in his shoes. "That's what you get when you have a Marine getting you ready, the best damned shined shoes you could own. And those aren't spit shined like you're thinkin' they're fire shined." Finn jumped at Dan's voice from behind him. Turning around, he saw Dan standing there in his formal dress uniform, minus his cap and gloves. "Get dressed and if you need help with anything, let me know. I left cufflinks and a tie pin on the bureau." Dan turned sharply on his heels and left, closing the door softly behind him.
Finn quickly got dressed and a deep midnight blue tux, one of those that depending on the light could look black or navy blue depending on the light. His shirt was a snowy white with a long formal tie in matching white with gold threads through it, making the tie almost twinkle in the light. As Finn grabbed the cufflinks and tie tack, he called for Dan, but not for help. When the Marine entered, Finn looked at him, a question in his eyes, "Why are the cufflinks the Marine symbol? I've never been a Marine."
Finn watched Dan shift his weight, looking slightly uncomfortable, a first since Finn had met him, "Well, your father was a Marine, and something tells me that he would have given you something similar on your prom night to wear if he was alive, and I'm pretty positive your mom would have. "
"So why is the tie tack two crossed axes?" Finn had no idea what that stood for.
"I don't know. That was what was given me when I got the tux. Just put it on Finn and finish up. If you want to get to this dance on time and spend as much time with Rachel before you say goodbye. And since this is the last time you'll get to see Rachel, I'm going to let you be solid. No hiding to reappear. You will truly be at prom and no one will realize who you are but Rachel, you'll just remind people of someone. I can at least give you that." Finn smiled at his unexpected gift and hurriedly fixed his hair the best he could and checked himself in the mirror on the back of his door before coming out to Dan holding a flower.
"Dude, you shouldn't of. Does this mean we're like going steady now or something?" Finn asked cheekily as he took the boutonniere from Dan and pinned it to his lapel. It was a deep red rose that had an intoxicating scent.
"Shut up Finn. Let's just say, this is something Rachel would have picked out if she knew you were going to be there, and I also have a corsage for her, so get it and go out the front door, will ya?" Finn grinned as he watched Dan straighten the flower and hand Finn a box with a gold ribbon wrapped around it. As Finn came to the front door, he put his hand on the doorknob, wondering what was on the other side. For the entire time he had been in his old house, he had never seen the front door open, and had often wondered what was on the other side. As he opened the door slowly, he was met with the sound of music and people talking, and the further he opened it, he saw students in formal dress walking around the decorated gym of McKinley. He had literally just walked out of his house and into prom.
He looked around at the how the gym had been turned into a garden with lights hanging from the ceiling like stars, fresh flowers and trees in pots creating the feeling of a garden or park as well as a running fountain and even soft park lights. As Finn looked down at the floor, he saw his shadow stretching out in front of him. He was solid, just like Dan had said. As he stood there, looking at everything, he saw Kurt and Blaine sitting at a table marked reserved, Tina and Mike dancing on the floor, Artie was wheeling Brittany around in circles, and Quinn and Sam were campaigning for prom royalty while Santana was sitting with Puck but staring at Brittany. But he didn't see her. Rachel was nowhere to be seen, and Dan had promised she would be there. As he walked towards the edge of the gym, like he did for the Halloween dance, he saw his mom out of the corner of his eye. Turning to face her, he saw his mom dressed in a beautiful dress with a huge smile on her face. Where was Burt? Why wasn't he escorting his mom? Finn's questions were quickly answered when he saw Burt come in, wearing a black tux with his always present baseball cap. Finn hid his chuckle when he could hear Kurt groan in frustration over his dad's head gear.
When he looked again, he saw that Burt had someone on his arm, Rachel. Finn's jaw dropped. He had never seen someone so beautiful and glowing. She looked classic and timeless with her hair in large curls gathered at the nape of her neck, and small jewels nested in the curls making her hair sparkle. Her dress was a deep red, truly reminding Finn of the color of blood, the color of life. The top was ruched in a way that it covered her breasts in an x shape and making a halter around her neck. Another wide strip of fabric was ruched around her waist, flowing straight down into a column, a slit to her mid-thigh allowing her to walk in what looked like the highest pair of gold stiletto sandals Finn had ever seen. She looked like heaven and hell all wrapped up in the woman that he loved.
Rachel sat in the cafeteria listening to Kurt go on and on how she had ditched all the social events of the year since she had broken up with Jesse. She wished Kurt would just drop it, but he knew he wouldn't. He had pitched a fit when she said she wasn't going to the winter formal, but understood. He tried kidnapping her to Sugar Motta's Valentine party at Breadstix, but she walked out as soon as she saw the red decorations. She feigned allergies and not wanting to mess up her voice for her NYADA audition to not attend the Spring Fling, but she had run out of excuses. She couldn't tell Kurt the real reason was because there was no Finn, and nothing really meant anything if Finn wasn't there. She missed his cool touch and those shining eyes sparkling as they watched over her. She missed how protected she had always felt with him whether it was in his arms or just knowing that he was there. It wasn't going to happen though. There hadn't been any sign of Finn since October, and she doubted he would be back again. Letting out a sigh, she shook her head of her thoughts and refocused on Kurt and the daily drama that was McKinley's cafeteria.
Rachel watched as Quinn and Sam campaigned for senior prom queen and king throughout the cafeteria. The buttons and cookies and posters that were all over the school, not to mention the stupid little jingle they had created and bribed the AV Club to play during passing period was driving Rachel insane. Who did Quinn think she was anyway? She had cheated on Finn when he was alive and then milked the left behind girlfriend after he died until her cheating had been exposed by Finn going poltergeist on her and Sam. Yet the blond ice queen had still somehow turned it so that no one knew of her cheating ways and that Sam had been so sympathetic towards her loss that she had fallen for him. Rachel always wanted to gag whenever she heard that story, and that was something since she didn't have a gag reflex. Instead refocused on Kurt and Blaine and their discussions on prom, but the annoying blond duo was always in the corner of her eye.
When she saw them come towards her table, Rachel felt her back stiffen, praying that they wouldn't stop at her table. She didn't know what she would do. She hadn't seen Finn since Halloween and now it was the end of the year and her heart was just decimated. The pain of his absence was constantly present, even though she had focused on NYADA and her future, she never forgot Finn; unlike his two-timing girlfriend. When she saw Ken and Barbie stop right behind her, she closed her eyes and took what should have been a calming breath, until Quinn spoke, "Well Kurt, Blaine, and um Rachel, here are some buttons to remember to vote for Sam and I for prom king and queen. It's a fact that prom royalty lives six months longer than those that aren't."
That was it. Rachel slammed her hands down on the table, making the plastic trays rattle and let out the calming breath she had been holding, "That's it!" She stood and turned towards the Cheerio and Bieber wanna-be. "I have watched you, Quinn, be an absolute two timing, hypocritical bitch since last year. You and Sam are as fake as your spray on tans! You think you're this virginal perfect girl with the looks and the boyfriend, but you aren't. You cheated on your first boyfriend while he was alive and then after he was killed you put on the grieving girlfriend act to gain sympathy all the while you were banging Bieber here! That's right McKinley, your Barbie and Ken didn't just recently start going out, they were together before Finn even died. She just tried to milk your sympathy. Why don't you ask Sam how he got fired from the pizza place at the mall." Rachel was looking at everyone sitting there in stone silence, but turned back to Quinn, "You never cared for Finn; you just used him because he was the most popular guy in school and he was a good guy who thought the best of everyone, including you! I don't give a damn about prom royalty because it's just a fake title for fake people, but for you to say you deserve it because you're a good person is just wrong. So guess what Quinn, I don't give a damn about prom royalty because it's just a fake title for fake people, but for you to say you deserve it because you're a good person is just wrong. So guess what Quinn, you don't have my vote. I'm giving mine to Becky Jackson; she deserves it, even if she is Coach Sylvester's cronies." Rachel hadn't realized she was yelling until she stopped talking and heard just how quiet the normally loud cafeteria had become. Looking around at all the enraptured faces, Rachel took the opportunity of an audience and did her infamous diva storm out, followed closely by Kurt and Blaine.
Rachel rushed into the nearest girl's bathroom with her two friends close behind. "Guys, this is the girl's room."
"And your point would be? I'm always in here and Blaine goes where I go so… Anyway Rachel, that was like the most epic bitch out I have ever seen. Quinn obviously pissed in your Cheerios. You trashed Quinn, defended Finn and gave Becky a boost all in one speech. That was being a true diva honey." Rachel smiled as Kurt praised her. "Speaking of prom though, Blaine and I have our plans set, what about you? That was what I was talking about before Quinn interrupted. You are going, aren't you Rachel? It's our senior prom and we only get one. You can't ditch this. It is the social event of the year."
At his question, she started playing with buttons on her shirt, not wanting to answer. She didn't want to go to prom if she couldn't be with Finn. "I don't have a date Kurt, and I'm not going by myself. It just wouldn't feel right. I'd just rather stay home or maybe go see a show in Dayton or Toledo." She didn't look at Kurt while she answered. She knew he would try to persuade her and unfortunately, he and Blaine were both experts at sad puppy dog eyes and pouty lips. When she did look up, both boys had the full effect going.
"Come on Rachel, besides, Kurt and I need the most beautiful and talented singer in all of McKinley's history on our arms for the night, and there is only one girl that fits that bill, you. Please come to prom with us. Be our date. We can take turns dancing and we can all sing a song together at the dance. Come on Rachel. Besides, Kurt has already been working on the most gorgeous gown for you, so you have to come to prom with us. It'll be our last hurrah as the three musketeers. Please?" She swore that Blaine's eyes had gotten three times larger, reminding her of a Precious Moments figurine. Even though there would be no Finn, both boys were right, and giving a shy nod and a small giggle, she was enveloped immediately in hugs from both boys.
The next two weeks were spent at Kurt's after school being pinned, pricked and cursed at while he worked on her gown, a blood red Grecian goddess gown with a Kurt Hummel twist, as he liked to call it. "Ouch! Kurt, I swear to Barbra if you prick my neck one more time, I'm going shred every single copy of your Vogue magazines! I have more holes in me than that Goth boy that has a frequent customer card for the tattoo shop."
"Does he really? That's just gross."
"Yes he does. He was bragging about it during physics. Anyway. Are you almost done? I have to go get my manicure and pedicure for tomorrow." Rachel stood still, but she was antsy. It was like there was something in the air that she knew was there, but couldn't put her finger on it, and she didn't like surprises, but she liked feeling like a pin cushion even more.
"Voila! My masterpiece is finished, and you look stunning Rachel." Kurt pulled the sheet he had covered his full length mirror off and Rachel gasped at the sight before her. The ruching and cut accentuated her curves and turned her from a simple high school girl, to a sophisticated and classic beauty.
"Oh my god Kurt. I'm speechless. I love this so much. I'm so glad you talked me into going to prom!" Rachel jumped off the podium and grabbed him into a hug only to be pushed away and reminded of the gown and no wrinkling.
The next day was prom and Kurt had allowed Rachel to have her hair and makeup done at her normal salon since he would be very busy getting himself ready for the big event. As Rachel sat in the chair and tuned out her beautician's babbling, she thought of how Finn and Kurt would have been as brothers. Finn was so easy going and a bit goofy while Kurt was very fastidious and high strung. She could picture the two of them constantly teasing each other, but having each other's back. Melancholy washed over her as she thought of all the things Finn had missed in life. As she looked in them mirror, she saw the Marine again, standing behind her, but she when she looked again, he was gone. What did he want?
The sight of the Marine had unsettled Rachel, but she wasn't going to dwell on it. This was her senior prom and even though she wouldn't be there with the man she loved, she was going to have fun. She was going with her best friends. After she was done at the salon, she took off to Kurt's to finish getting ready and to relax and maybe forget for a bit.
After all the fun of getting ready with Kurt and Blaine and all the pictures that all the parents had taken, all three were surprised by the limo that had pulled up in front of the house. "Well, we thought you three should go to prom in style. Carole and I will be following in the car, so no monkey business son. They aren't blacked out windows, so I can see in." Burt said as he tried to hide his blush and Kurt tried to find a place to hide in embarrassment only making Carole, Rachel and her dads burst out laughing.
As the trio walked out to the limo, Carole stopped Rachel for a second and pulled the petite girl into a loving hug. "I wish I could be walking Finn out to his limo tonight, but I'm so glad I get to do it for you. It's sad that you and Finn didn't know each other when he was alive. I think you two would have gotten along. I really miss him." Rachel knew Carole was holding back her tears from the sound of her voice.
Pulling back, Rachel looked at Carole, wanting to tell her that she and Finn did get along very well, but knew she couldn't. Instead, she just leaned in and hugged the older woman hard. "Even though it wasn't the best circumstances that brought us together, I'm glad that I can say you are the most important woman in my life. You're the mom that I never had." Rachel kissed Carole's cheek and walked to the limo, fighting to keep the tears from rolling down her cheeks.
The limo ride was fun. The three teens sang as loud as they could to all the songs on the radio and at one point Blaine had pulled himself through the sun roof of the limo and was singing Katy Perry songs at the top of his lungs, earning giggles from inside the limo. When they came to McKinley, Kurt and Blaine jumped out and headed inside immediately while Carole quickly followed, leaving Rachel still in the limo and Burt parking the car. As she got out and started towards the entrance, she was shocked to feel someone take her arm and saw Burt link her arm with his, "You're the closest I have to a daughter and since I won't get to walk you down the aisle, this is the closest I'll get. May I have the honor of escorting you into your prom?"
Rachel couldn't hide her smile for the sweet man. She linked her arm with his and placed a kiss on his cheek and quickly rubbed the lipstick off of his cheek. Walking into the transformed gym on Burt's arm made her feel like a movie star at Oscars. As they came to their table, her eyes were drawn to a man standing near the edge of the gym holding a box with a gold ribbon, his bright eyes never leaving her. She had never seen him before, she knew he didn't go to McKinley and there was no way he was a teenager, his body was much more filled out and masculine than any of the senior boys, his closely cropped dark brown hair had a coppery tinge to it, freckles scattered along his nose and apple of his cheeks. His eyes those, even though they were a very distinct color, they were still very familiar to her, like she had seen them before, but she just couldn't place them.
As she sat down a squeal came from Kurt's mouth, "Oh Rachel. I'm so glad you came because when you entered the gym, all eyes were on you. I even saw Quinn elbow Sam in the ribs. You are stunning, and all I did was have your outside match your inside. Now Blaine and I are going to dance since he's bouncing in his seat to the Katy Perry song, but you're next sweetheart." Rachel laughed as Blaine pulled Kurt onto the dance floor, but her laugh faded as she watched to two snuggle together and sway to the music. Rachel rested her head on her propped hands and watched the dancers sway and twirl around the floor, whispering into each other's ears, laughing and stealing kisses. She let out a sigh wishing that was her, but knew better.
She continued to stare at the happy couples until a shadow fell over her. She looked up and saw the man she had noticed when entered standing beside her, a crooked smile that ended in dimples a sparkle in his eyes that she saw were flecked with green. A smile she knew well. "Finn?!"
"My wee star," he held out his arms as she jumped up and threw herself into his arms, relaxing instantly as his strong arms engulfed her and his very Finn smell washed over her. He was still cool to the touch, but not nearly what he used to be. All she could do was snuggle closer as she felt him nuzzle her behind her ear and whisper, "Hey, can we go someplace a little more private. If we stay like this Burt may go all dad with a shotgun on me and I don't want to have to try to explain myself right now. I just want to spend as much time as I can with you." Rachel didn't think twice before intertwining their fingers and pulling him out of the dance and towards the auditorium.
When they entered the deserted auditorium she went to turn on the stage lights and peeked from behind the curtains at him, a smirk graced his face as she watched him lithely walk towards the stage, "Why do I think the auditorium will always be "our" place?" He whispered as he placed his hands on her waist and pulled her towards him.
"Because it is. It's the first place I felt you, I just didn't realize it. The day Figgins gathered us here to tell us of your death, I had this strange feeling as I held Kurt's hand and kept looking towards the back expecting to see something, but never did. It wasn't until being with you a few times that I realized that feeling was because you were there. There's this cool tingling sensation that breezes over my skin whenever you're in the room. I had it that day, and every day since then when you are near me, and I've missed it so much Finn. You have no idea." Rachel could feel tears pooling in her eyes, but she didn't get a chance shed them as he took his finger and tipped her chin up and placed a kiss on her lips that was so intimate, full of love, longing, and a deep connection that all she could do was wrap her arms around him and hold him closer as she responded in kind.
When she broke the kiss for air, she looked into his eyes and as his warm voice soothed her, "I do Rach. I've done nothing but think of you and miss you for all this time. I heard every time you cried over me, and felt your pain. All I wanted to do was come back here and take you in my arms, but I couldn't. No matter how badly I wanted to, I couldn't be with you, but I am for right now and I'm going to make the most of it."
She sighed happily, knowing he was missing her as much as she had missed him, "But you're here now."
"Yes I am." When she looked up at him again, his lips met hers, his tongue pushing into her mouth, an urgency about his kiss that left her breathless. When they broke apart, she was lifted into his arms as he moved her to the backstage and again to the bed. He laid her down carefully, like she was delicate and fragile, even arranging the pillows behind her, kissing her with feather light kisses as he did. His fingers skimmed over her body, like he was trying to memorize it as his lips skimmed her exposed skin. Despite how good he was making her feel, Rachel knew something was up.
As his lips found a particularly sensitive part of her neck near her hairline, through her moan she called for him, "Finn. Uhhhhh. Finn stop we need to talk. Please baby." She felt his lips leave her immediately and the bed shift as he sat back and searched her eyes with his. "What's going on Finn? I know we haven't seen each other in a long time, but there's still something different, so what gives? Whatever it is we'll get through it together, I help you and you help me, right?" She searched his eyes for something, but all she saw was longing and hurt. Why was he feeling hurt?
The bed moved as he moved closer to her and she nuzzled his hand when he cupped her face to keep her looking at him, "I'm leaving Rachel, and not for months again but for good. They've found a way to fix the mistake of me dying so early in my life. I won't be coming back to you ever again. My mentor had to pull some strings just to let me come here tonight to be with you. This is my goodbye."
The word goodbye brought Rachel out of her Finn induced trance, her heart rushing at the mere thought of never seeing or being with Finn again. "Wh- What do you mean goodbye? No Finn. Not after everything. It isn't fair. It isn't fair. We're meant to be like Romeo and Juliet, Tony and Maria, Capt. VonTrapp and Maria. I- I'll search for you. I will look for you so we can be together Finn. This can't goodbye. I've been by myself because no one is you. You are the only one for me Finn. You and only you." She was beating her fists against his chest, sobs overtaking her as her heart started to break yet again. She felt Finn push her away from him and pull her chin so that she was forced to look at him.
"Rachel, it's done. There is nothing you or I can do to change it. That was made very clear to me when I had tried to argue that we belong together. Who are you going to search for? Finn Hudson? He's dead, remember. I wish I could tell you more, but, because I don't even know. You just have to promise me that you'll forget me and go on with your life. You're meant to be a star Rach. You're meant to make the world smile and be happy. You need to forget about me and show NYADA and Broadway and the world what a true shining star is. You deserve the world and the world deserves you." His voice was so soft but so full of emotion that Rachel wanted to break.
As she cried she felt his arms around her bringing her as close to him as possible. "I still think that I can find you Finn, be with you. You know I don't give up, but for now I promise. I promise to be the star you believe I am. S- s- so what's going to happen? How are they fixing this?" She didn't want to hear the answer, but knew she needed to. To make sure he was going to be alright.
"I'm coming back to earth, and that is literally all I know. Dan's been training me for this, and he says the time is coming close. I could have not come back Rachel and just left you with the memories of when we made love at the Halloween dance, but I couldn't. I've missed you so much, and you deserved a goodbye from me, and maybe a last dance too." She could hear the smile before she saw it when he talked about dancing.
Releasing a sigh she looked back up at him, his love for her evident in his eyes and smile, "You know I don't like this right. I hate it in fact, but I also know I can't change it, but I will look for you Finn Hudson. I will search for you on this Earth until I find you. You know that right?"
"I know Rach. You are too stubborn not too, but for now, I just want to be with you, and only you." His lips met hers in another kiss, this one searing and possessive. His tongue swept into her mouth, taking possession of her and then retreating allowing her to do the same to him. Even though it was his goodbye, he was letting her say it to. It just made another thing about Finn Hudson that Rachel loved.
She felt his cool hands reach behind her neck and felt the clasp of her halter come undone, then his cool fingers skim her shoulders as he pulled the halter and the front of her dress down slowly. She wasn't sure what he was going to do, but the touch of his fingertips and the cool breath escaping his lips set every one of her nerves on end, waiting in anticipation of what Finn was going to do. She felt his lips skim her skin placing kisses intermittently until he reached the swell of her left breast, right above her heart. "I can feel your heart under my lips. I love your heartbeat. It's been the rhythm that I listen for to know where you're at. Your heart will always be mine," she felt and heard him murmur against her breast before she felt a delicious soft bite and suction on the skin as his hands played with her exposed breasts. All she could do while he loved on her was hold his head to her, playing with his hair and scraping his scalp, earning guttural moans from him that made her smile. Finally she couldn't take his lips not being attached to hers and pulled him up and attached her lips to his and kept him to her until her lungs screamed for air. When they finally pulled away, her breathing a haggard pant while Finn kept placing soft kisses over her face. As he touched her exposed breast, she felt a tenderness right above it.
"You gave me a hickey?" she couldn't quite believe that on their last night together Finn would give her something so common and base.
She heard a bit of embarrassment in his voice when he answered, "Yea. I wanted to mark you as mine. To let anyone know that your heart belongs to me. I know it won't last, but we'll know it was there and what it meant. I know you don't like it, but I don't care, because your heart will always be mine."
"I promise my heart will always belong to you Finn." Rachel couldn't keep the tears out of her voice as she declared herself to Finn. She couldn't keep the tears back as she felt Finn bring her halter back up and secure it around her neck again, and placed a kiss against her neck one last time.
"I want to dance with you before I go. I can feel that I'm leaving very soon, so let's go." All she could do was grab hold of his offered hand and let him lead her back to the gym and the dance floor. She knew as she followed him to the gym, that she would follow him anywhere if he would let her. As they made their way towards the far edge of the gym where it was dimly lit by just twinkle lights, he twirled her into his arms as she embraced him and rested her head on his chest, hearing a faint beat, something she had never heard before. The rough deep voice of Bryan Adams harmonized with Finn's in her ear as he sang, "I'll Always Return." I hear the wind call your name, It calls me back home again, It sparks up the fire - a flame that still burns, Oh it's to you I'll always return, I still feel your breath on my skin, I hear your voice deep within, The sound of my lover - a feeling so strong, It's to you - I'll always belong, Now I know it's true, My every road leads to you, And in the hour of darkness darlin', Your light gets me through, Wanna swim in your river - be warmed by your sun, Bathe in your waters - cos you are the one, I can't stand the distance - I can't dream alone, I can't wait to see you - Ya I'm on my way home, Oh I hear the wind call your name. The sound that leads me home again, It sparks up the fire - a flame that still burns, Oh, it's to you - I will always return. By the end of the song, both she and Finn were in tears, neither dancing but gripping onto the other for dear life, terrified to let the other go.
She could feel him before she dared to look behind Finn, but the Marine, the one that she had seen on and off was standing there, his face grim and even a bit sad. She pulled back slightly as the Marine advanced and placed a white gloved hand on Finn's shoulder and said in a soft, sad voice, "It's time Finn. We need to go to the roof now."
Finn's grip on her tightened as he turned in desperation to the Marine, "Please Dan, just a few more minutes. Please."
"I'm sorry Buck. It's either you come willingly or I do it with force. I don't want to do it with force." Rachel could feel the tension in Finn's shoulders leave as he allowed them to slump in almost defeat. He didn't say a word to her as he gripped her hand tightly and pulled her to the door near them that lead them to the stairs that went to the gymnasium roof. As Finn pushed the door open to the roof, there stood the Marine again, appearing on the roof, a box in his hand and a very sad look on his face.
"Any minute now Finn. A golden light will appear and all you have to do is walk into it. All of this mess will be fixed."
"What if I don't want it to be fixed? I love Rachel with all my heart. I don't want to leave her Dan."
"There isn't a choice Finn. And there's something I need to tell you before the light appears. My na-"
"Rachel, what are you doing up here? Oh my god. Finn?" All three of us turned and saw Carole standing at the door, her hand covering her mouth in shock as she could actually see Finn standing there, holding me in his arms tightly. She must have seen the door to the stairs open. Her eyes were wide with shock as she took a tentative step towards everyone, but then her eyes squinted in concentration as she looked at Finn's Marine, and then widened in recognition. "Chris? Is it really you?" Rachel watched as Carole rushed past her son and grabbed the Marine into a hug. "Oh my god Chris it's really you!" Tears were falling down her cheeks as she hugged Chris to her.
Finally Finn spoke up, "Mom? This is Dan." Rachel watched Carole turn; suddenly realizing her dead son was standing in front of her and grabbed him to bring him into a three-way hug.
"Honey, this is your father, Christopher Daniel Hudson." Finn's mouth dropped open in shock as he just looked at who he now knew was his father. As he was about to say something, a golden light appeared next to Rachel. The light that was going to take Finn away from her. The look on all of our faces must have clued Carole into that this wasn't a happy time as she asked, "What's going on?"
Finn answered, "I'm leaving mom. Since I've died, Rachel has been able to see me, talk to me, feel me and help me. I love her Mom, but my dying at sixteen wasn't right, so now it's getting fixed. I have to go into this light to fix my death, but just not as Finn Hudson. I love you mom. You did such a good job raising me on your own. You're the best. And I'm so glad you're happy with Burt. You deserve to be happy. Love you mom." She watched as Finn held his mom in the tenderest hug she had ever seen and place a kiss on her lips, reverting back into the little boy that she knew Carole always thought of him as.
"Finn, you need to go now. You can't miss this light." Chris Hudson said an edge of hurry in his voice.
Finn ignored him as he walked over to Rachel, and picked her up and kissed her like there was no tomorrow, because there wasn't for them. "Remember my wee star. I love you, and I know you love me, but don't give up on your life because I'm not in it anymore. Your heart will always be mine, but your talent belongs to everyone, so live out your dream. I love you Rachel Barbra Berry."
AS he sat her down and started toward the light beside her, Rachel grabbed his hand for one last time, "I love you Finn Christopher Hudson. Even though I wasn't with you when you were alive, I am eternally grateful I got to know you after your death. You have my heart." Rachel's face became warm with her tears as she watched Finn walk into the light, disappearing instantly along with the light.
He was gone. Finn was no longer there. She couldn't feel him. She looked over at where Carole stood with tears matching Rachel's and Chris, Finn's father, stood holding the box with the gold ribbon that Finn had earlier. She watched Chris whisper something in Carole's ear and then the older woman leave quietly, her tears drying up. When it was just her and Chris on the roof, he walked over to Rachel, the box held out to her.
"Finn got this for you. Please open it."
"You lied to him this entire time. You know all he ever wanted to do was live up to his dad, right?"
"I know. I've watched Carole and Finn since the day I died. When Finn was killed, I immediately went to be his mentor. If I couldn't be with him as he grew up, I could at least be there for him and his second chance, and I'm so glad I got to be with him for that time. I have an awesome son."
"Yes you do. What's in this box?" Chris didn't answer, but just nudged it as Rachel held it. As her hand trembled, she untied the gold ribbon and lifted the lid, revealing a perfect cream rose corsage with a necklace wrapped around it. As she pulled it out, the necklace sparkled in the waning sunlight. The necklace was tiny stars attached to each other to form a chain necklace. A piece of folded paper was on the bottom of the box; opening it up, she read, "A necklace of wee stars for my wee star. You won't remember me after this, but I hope you remember whenever you wear this necklace that it was given to you by someone that loves you with all of his heart. Love for eternity, Finn." Rachel felt the hot tears again, but also the coolness of the white gold stars against her skin. She looked behind her to see Chris standing there, the crooked Hudson grin on his face.
"When I count to ten Rachel, you won't remember any of this, not me. Not Finn. You'll have the necklace and the rose, but nothing else. Your memories will be very hazy. Carole won't remember any of this either. Just know that Finn loves you. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1." At one everything went black for Rachel.