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Chapter Thirteen
I knock on the door and then return to holding Tilly's hand. I didn't want to come but she convinced me that it was the right thing to do, which I suppose I always knew, I'm just worried about what the reaction will be.
The door opens to reveal a tall boy about the same age as me, although I don't recognise him, even though he's from the Seam. I have a feeling that, like Clo, he's very quiet and would never draw attention to himself.
"Oh. Hi," he says, unsure of how to react around me.
"Hi, is your father in?" I ask. The boy nods, "Would we be able to come in, please?"
He moves out of the way and gestures for Tilly and I to enter. The house is very small and covered in coal dust, much like my old house. I'd convinced myself that Clo was from Town and so it's a bit of a shock to see how she lived. When the workers at the Justice Building had told me just how poor she was it made me realise how little I knew about her, that was all my fault, though. I made no effort during training to get to know her.
Clo's brother leads us in to the kitchen where a bald man in his late forties sits at a wooden table with his head in his hands. He doesn't even flinch when we enter.
"Dad, Haymitch Abernathy is here."
The man moves his head from his hands and looks towards me with a facial expression that is impossible to read. He neither looks mad, angry, upset nor content.
"Hello, Mr. Dawnson," I say, "this is my girlfriend, Tilly."
"I thought you'd be over here at some point. You may as well sit down."
I do as he says and pull up a chair opposite him at the table. "I just thought it would be the right thing to do."
"How? Does you being here bring my Clo back? Does it stop the murder of our children every year?"
"No," snaps Tilly, "but it does show that he has a heart. You know it wasn't his fault that Clo died, it was the Capitol's!"
He simply groans and gets up to pour himself a glass of water. I would die for Tilly but I'm not sure if her last outburst was the best way to approach the situation, the man has just lost his only daughter, after all.
"So what is it you want?" He asks.
"I just thought…I wanted you to know that Clo helped me a lot in the Games. If it wasn't for her I wouldn't have thought to use that force field. She gave me the idea."
"Well, I'm incredibly happy that my little girl's tactic to survive helped you so much!" His face is now bright red with anger and it's making me feel uncomfortable. I find myself grabbing at my belt for a knife that isn't there. My heart starts pounding and I'm running towards him with my arms outstretched.
"Haymitch! Stop!" Tilly shouts so loudly that I drop my hands and look at them in disgust. I wanted to kill him. I was going to kill him. I run out of the house without saying a word and run down the street before falling to my knees and screaming so loudly that I scare a group of children.
I can feel someone's arms wrapping themselves around me, followed by a kiss on my cheek. Tilly always smells delightful, despite living in the grimiest area of 12, and the comforting smell begins to calm me down.
"He's right, Tilly. I'm not going to see the others, I can't face it."
"No, Haymitch, he's just grieving. Do you really think Clo would rather you have died than used that force field?"
I shake my head because I know she's right, even though I still feel guilty. All of the children, including Clo, had to die in order for me to return home and it's a thought that I cannot seem to shake.
"Come on," says Tilly, "we've got lots to do." She grabs my hand and we begin to walk towards the other end of the Seam. It only takes us twenty minutes and then we're faced with another grey, decrepit shack.
I take a deep breath before knocking on the door and it takes a few minutes before it opens. A greying woman in her forties stands before me with dark circles under eyes. She gives me a smile but it is tinged with sadness, it's the kind of smile you give someone before breaking bad news to them.
"Hello, Haymitch," Dinium's mother says, "Please come in."
I return her smile and walk in to the house with Tilly. We're led in to a small living area where Dinium's father sits on a chair, sipping hot tea.
"Oh. Hello," he says.
"Hello Mr. Hawkes-"
"It's Charlie and this is my wife, Lorenz. There's no need for formalities here, not after what's happened."
It's easy to see why Dinium was so nice, clearly being raised in this household forbade him from being anything but a decent person. I return Lorenz's earlier sad smile to show how grateful I am.
"Thank you," I reply. "I just wanted to say that Dinium was a great person, he was one of the nicest people I've ever met and I cannot even begin to say how sorry I am that he's gone." Lorenz grabs Charlie's hand and gives it a squeeze, which in turn causes him to kiss hers. If I didn't know that they had just lost their only child I would say that they are the epitome of love. "But the reason I really came here was because Dinium and I struck a deal during training. If he won he would look after my family and if I won I would look after his, which means that I would like to send you some money each month. I have far too much for just me and my family."
I can see tears forming in Lorenz's eyes and I wonder if I've said the wrong thing. This is good news, right?
"That's very sweet," she says, "But there is no need. We'll be fine."
"I know the money can't replace Dinium but I made him a promise and I can't spend my life owing him that promise." They have both grown up in the Seam, they must know what I'm talking about.
"Okay. Thank you, Haymitch," says Charlie. I thank them for seeing me and tell them that I'll send the first installment at the end of this week, I also ask if there's anything else they need from me but they just smile and decline. They're living in complete poverty but I understand their refusal of help, it would mean relying on someone who may not be able to be relied upon.
"Ready for the Donners'?" Asks Tilly.
"No," I say but she simply gives me a kiss and grabs my hand once more. As we walk towards Town all I can think about is how exhausting today has been. Not physical exhaustion but mental exhaustion. So many emotions have been flying through the air that I can hardly breathe and I have no idea how I'm going to face Maysilee's family. This is, no doubt, going to be the worst part of the day.
Pertha opens the door and the tears instantly form in her eyes but she quickly wipes them away before telling us to come in. The house is not as large as my one in Victors' Village but it's a lot bigger than the one I had in the Seam. They have separate areas for eating and living whereas we pretty much had to do everything in one room.
We walk in to the living room to find Maysilee's parents, Clara and the baker's eldest son sitting next to her, they must going out. This really is as fancy as 12 gets.
"Hello, Mr. Abernathy," Maysilee's father says, "what can we do for you?"
"I…I just..," there seem to be no words to articulate what it is I want to say. I need to tell them how important Maysilee was to me, how much she helped me and how much I wish I could repay her but I'll never be able to. "I just felt that I needed to see you all. To say how sorry I am for your loss." Pertha doesn't restrain herself this time and bursts in to tears.
Maysilee's mother pulls her only daughter close and gently rocks her. "Thank you, Haymitch," she says, "that means a lot."
"I was also wondering if…if there was anything I could do for you. I know I can't replace Maysilee but maybe…I don't know…"
"We appreciate the sentiment but we have almost everything we need," she says and I know that when she says 'almost' it's because her other daughter is no longer here.
They offer Tilly and I tea, which we accept and I spend the afternoon learning more and more about Maysilee's life. I learn about the time she stole Pertha's doll, the time when she brought Clara home as well as many other anecdotes that just make me miss her more. She was my friend. I can say that now.
"Thank you for the tea," I say to Mrs. Donner as we leave.
"It was nothing. Haymitch, I just want you to know how grateful we all are that you were there when Maysilee died. We know that you could have run away but you didn't and we'll be forever grateful."
This statement seems to lift a weight off my chest, it's not closure but it makes me feel less guilty. I don't think that the Donners hate me, I think that they understand.
We walk back to my house holding hands, grateful that the day is coming to an end. I probably should have visited them all before but the memories of the arena were still far too fresh. I'll never lose them but, hopefully, over time they will ease.
I open the door to be greeted by silence, which is very unusual when you live with Layle.
"Hello?" I shout in to the house.
"In here, my boy!" A strange yet familiar voice shouts from the living room. It isn't until I walk in and see President Snow standing before me that I realise why the voice unnerves me so much. He has four peacekeepers with him, each one as faceless as the others.
My mother, Layle and Titam are all sat on the sofa looking very pale. Layle is clinging on to my mother the same way he did at the announcement of the Quarter Quell.
"Hello, sir," I say through gritted teeth.
"Hello, Haymitch," he replies, "Now, do you have any idea why I'm here?" I can take a guess that it's something to do with the force field I used but I'm not going to play in to his hands that easily so I shake my head. "I'm not sure I believe that, you're a very clever young man, Haymitch."
The way he says my name makes my blood run cold, it's not his property to abuse. "I'm sorry, sir, but I'm quite confused."
"Well, then, let me help you. The force field you used to claim your victory in the arena was never meant to be used as a weapon but that's exactly what you did. Whilst that was very clever of you it also means that you've undermined the Capitol in front of all of Panem and we just can't have that, can we?"
I don't say anything, thinking of how much I would like to punch him right now. One day.
"Sir, I don't think-" Tilly begins but Snow raises his hand to silence her.
"You need to be made aware of how powerful the Capitol is, my boy." He nods towards one of the peacekeepers, who raises it towards Layle and shoots him square in the stomach. I let out a scream that I never thought possible before; it's loud, angry and full of pain.
"No!" My mother screams, her hands covered in Layle's blood. But she doesn't have long to grieve before another peacekeeper gives her the same fate.
I have seconds to save Tilly so I push her behind me and grab her hand, refusing to let go. However, Snow just laughs whilst another peacekeeper drags me away and forces me to watch as a bullet is sent through Tilly's head.
Titam's eyes are welling up but his face remains stoic. The bodies of my mother and brother lie next to him yet he shows no emotion.
Before I can think I am throwing myself at Snow and punching him repeatedly in the face, hoping that I can kill him but it's not long before a bullet hits my leg and sends me crashing to the floor, blacking out before I even hit the carpet.
I really hated writing this chapter but it had to be done! I hope I did it justice and now we get to hear about what happens between now and the 74th Hunger Games!
