A/N: I forgot to do this in the first chapter but here is some info about this story that wouldn't fit in the summary. McGee joined before Kate. Vivian Blackadder never existed in this universe. Abby and him were married for two years and have a son who is two months older than Holly and Noah. They divorced just after Kate died. McGee and Delilah got married in the hospital after Parsa's bombing. Delilah has a thirteen year old daughter who just happens to be Holly's best friend. For this story Bishop is thirty-one and has been married to Jake for twelve years. They chose not to have children. Because neither wanted to sacrifice their careers. AXJimmy and Breena on the other hand have been struggling with infertility since their wedding.
Ten years had passed since Kate was killed on the rooftop in front of Tony. Ten years of grief, anger, and confusion. Honestly speaking the worst ten years of his life. He had the twins and he loved them more than life itself but witnessing his wife, the mother of his children get shot in the head. Just seconds after she another bullet hit her in the abdomen but was spared by her bullet-proof vest. The last words he ever spoke to her being a confession that he was glad she was safe. Because he didn't want to raise Holly on his own. How could he be so selfish? He still asked himself that everyday, every time he looked in the mirror, Saw Kate's picture, noticed the twins miss their mother or feel left out for not having a mother, or even woke up alive in the morning. Ten years and he still couldn't talk about her without crying. In time everybody learned not to mention her name. Even the twins never brought up their mother. They stopped asking questions long ago and when new friends ask they simply replied that "She was not around anymore." Leaving them to decide for themselves if she was dead or had left the family.
The first days after Kate died were the worst. Gibbs took him to his home and Abby and McGee kept the twins. That was just before they divorced. He knew that it was his fault that their marriage had ended and that only added to the self hatred. He didn't get out of bed for the four days between Kate's death and flying to Indiana for her funeral. He hated that her grave was so far away but she had family plots there.
"Tony! You have to get out of bed! The plane leaves in three hours and you haven't showered or changed in days!" Gibbs yelled.
"No" Tony argued.
"Dammit Tony you still have Kate's blood all over you!" Gibbs yelled.
"Don't you care? What if somebody treated you like this when Shannon and Kelly died?" Tony asked.
"Of course I care! That's why I don't want you to lie in bed and rot before you are even dead!" Gibbs yelled.
"Why? You said after Shannon died you had nothing to live for." Tony questioned.
"Because Tony I lost my daughter too when I lost Shannon. Holly and Noah are still alive. They are alive and they are scared, and they need their daddy. Do you know how selfish it would be to just wallow yourself to death in self pity and leave your children orphaned?" Gibbs asked.
"I can't...I just can't." Tony sobbed.
"Yes you can." Gibbs assured.
"How do you know?" Tony asked.
"Because me, Abby, McGee, Ducky, and Jimmy are all on your side and will be there for you whenever you need us. All you have to do is let us in." Gibbs explained.
"Jimmy? I thought it left." Tony asked.
"Gerald had to go to rehab for a pill addiction and Ducky only wanted Jimmy." Gibbs explained.
"Will I ever be happy again?" Tony asked.
"I am not undermining your loss but I lost way more than you can even imagine and I like to think I am happy. So I know you can be too," Gibbs explained.
"Will I ever love again? You never did. Not for really anyway." Tony asked.
"You can love again but you will have to learn how to love again." Gibbs replied.
Gibbs's words the day they flew out to Kate's funeral stuck with Tony more than anything else. You can love again but you will have to learn how to love again. He wanted to believe his boss's words but it had been ten years and he hadn't felt anything close to the love he felt for Kate. He had only had one serious relationship in the past ten years. That was Jeanne Benoit just over a year after Kate died. The tragic thing was that he really did love her but their whole relationship was just a carefully orchestrated undercover mission from Director Sheppard. He tried to fight his feelings but his heart was just starting to heal and he fell for her hard and fast. It lasted a year then the truth came out. That he was not Tony DiNardo bachelor and film professor at Monroe University but Tony DiNozzo widowed NCIS agent and father of twins. Jeanne accused him of murdering her father and said that he had broken her heart. She had no idea what a broken heart truly felt like.
Tony slid down to the floor of the elevator. He had been cleared of murder charges not that any of that mattered. At this pointed he wouldn't mind going to prison. Being away from woman who could break his heart. Just going through the motions and existing. He knew his kids would be better off in foster-care. He had given them all the love he could but he knew he had come up short of a good father even an adequate father. He sat there and cried for hours. Until Gibbs found him and convinced him to go home.
After the incident with Jeanne, Tony swore off of woman and love. He pulled himself together forthe second time in three years and became a devoted single dad. He coached the twins PAL soccer teams. He was at all of Noah's football games and Holly's basketball games. He taught both twins piano. Noah quit after two years but Holly kept it up. He even danced on stage with Holly the year she took Ballet and they had a mother's day recital. Still he couldn't do everything. He couldn't take Noah to the mother/son dances and he couldn't be at Holly's girl-scout sleepovers and camping trips. Abby stepped up where she could but it she had to focus on her own son Christopher as well. Sometimes Tony felt guilty for not trying to give his children a mom but he just couldn't do it. He couldn't take the risk of his heart being shattered again. Gibbs said he had to learn to love again but to Tony it was almost like he had suffered a traumatic brain injury and despite his best efforts he could not relearn to love or so he thought.
"Got a call from the middle school, DiNozzo." Gibbs called as Tony stepped out of the elevator fresh cup of coffee in hand.
"Are the twins OK?" Tony asked fearing the worst.
"Not sure all the teacher said was that Holly had some trouble in English class and that it would be best if you picked her up today. You have the afternoon off.." Gibbs explained.
"Are you sure it was Holly?" Tony asked. Holly never had trouble with school. Sure she got in the odd fight but those calls came from the Principal. Noah was the twin who struggled academically.
"Yes Tony I asked to make sure. Miss. David assured me that she wasn't in trouble but that she needed some help." Gibbs explained.
"Do you know Miss. David?" Jimmy asked he was making plans with McGee to take Justin and his neighbors kids to the planetarium over the weekend.
"No she came in this quarter when the old teacher went on maternity leave. Have had a chance to meet her yet." Tony explained.
"Well Gibbs had her on speaker and she sounded hot. Of course not as hot as Breena and I would never cheat but you know you are single." Jimmy rambled.
"I told ya Autopsy Gremlin I swore off the ladies. Holly is the only woman I need and she needs me right now. So I have to go." Tony replied picking up his jacket and walking out of the bullpen. Little did he know that his life was about to change...
A/N: What sort of trouble is Holly in? Tony meets Miss. David in the next chapter. New chapter will be up soon. Please review and thanks for reading.