Chapter 6: Gains and Loses
"Why don't we make it official? Will you marry me?"
Delphine was looking at Cosima with a hopeful look on her face, Cosima was looking back with a look of surprise frozen on her face. Delphine's face slowly began to drop as the time ticked on, Cosima hadn't said anything yet and Delphine was losing hope. Maybe she had said jumped to conclusions? Maybe this isn't what Cosima wants? Cosima unfroze and jumped slightly, startling Delphine and herself as she returned to the conversation from the internal monologue that had sucked her away from the real world for a moment.
"Yes! Yes, obvs! I love you, duh. I totally want to marry you." The smile returned back and the blonde pulled the smaller woman in closer for a kiss, slow and gentle.
"Why don't we make it official? Will you marry me?"
Cosima's mind reeled at the blonde's proposal, her mind running a million miles a minute. Cosima had noticed things that were slightly concerning and probably getting more concerning as the week went on. She had noticed a increasing tightness in her chest and the urge to cough was getting worse, she knew that something was happening and it wasn't for the better. Cosima's symptoms were returning. The genome could be the answer but can she make Delphine watch her deteriorate and quite possibly die before she finds a cure. Shit. Delphine just asked Cosima to marry her and she hadn't replied yet. Coming back down to earth, Cosima looked at Delphine's face and burst into action before she ruined everything by taking too much time.
"Yes! Yes, obvs! I love you, duh. I totally want to marry you." Cosima said with a smile on her face and a smile burst onto Delphine's face almost in sync with her now fiancé and the love between become it's own presence and the blonde pulled her fiancé in for a gentle kiss before things grew more passionate.
Cosima laid in bed after a long night following the impromptu engagement, Delphine still tires easily so after a long make out session and enough getting caught up in the heat of the moment, they were both wearing no clothing but as Delphine was still healing, Cosima didn't let it go much further. Delphine was nestled comfortably on Cosima's chest with her arms lightly wrapped around her fiancé's waist after falling asleep on in the same position. Delphine spent the night dreaming of the past, replaying their relationship from the day they met in the lab. Delphine crying against the wall and Cosima coming to comfort the french woman. The whole relationship played out in her mind. Cosima sat listening to Delphine's sleep-induced deep breathing and lightly stroking the blonde's fluffy hair, reminiscing about the change in Delphine's hair in the past few months and how glad she is to have it back to the fluffy puppy hair that she has loved from the moment she saw her from across the lab. Cosima continued to absentmindedly stroke Delphine's hair for must have been hours. Cosima struggled to keep the cough that was bubbling in her chest from bursting out because she had a feeling that once she started coughing she wouldn't stop for a time, she had been hiding this from Delphine and all of her sisters. Kira's stem cells had made her better but they need to be repeated and to do that they need to get more but Cosima could not put Kira through the procedure again and they haven't come up with any alternatives yet, the genome of Siobhan's mother could be the answer combining it with Ethan Duncan's research but she needs a lab and time and one thing Cosima is not sure about is how much time she has left. Cosima wants to spend every last second that she has left with Delphine, she isn't really sure how she is going to bring all this up. Maybe later, definitely not now when she had just accepted Delphine's proposal and they were enjoying the bliss that comes with that. Cosima started to cough, just a few small coughs. The jostling of her coughing had woken Delphine who hummed and nuzzled into her chest, Delphine smiled as she pushed herself up onto her elbows and looked into Cosima's face with the realisation of what woke her from sleep was Cosima coughing, Delphine began to worry.
"Mon cher, are you feeling okay?" The look of worry was so clear on Delphine's face that Cosima was shocked.
"I'm just feeling a bit unwell today but don't worry, you can go back to sleep." Cosima tried to brush off Delphine's concern about her health. Delphine nodded and moved herself so that she was lying next to Cosima instead of actually on top of her. Delphine intertwined their hands and starts to brush her thumb gently across Cosima's palm. Delphine nudges her shoulder against Cosima's.
"Are you sure, mon amour? We can call Scott to start setting up the lab for us to come back and begin research with the genome."
"I don't know if we can go back to DYAD, its most likely going to crawling with neolutionists and other creep-tacular people that are either going to study me or try to kill me. so yeah." Cosima nudges Delphine back.
"true, perhaps we can find another lab to conduct the research that will save you and your sisters."
"Hmm, Mrs. S might know or find somewhere for us to work." Cosima turns to Delphine, propped up on her elbow to gaze into the eyes of her fiancé. Cosima saw the love she felt reflected back at her from the brown eyes gazing back at her own. Delphine thought about the past few weeks and months and about how much had changed in such a short time. How many times can a heart break before it can't be mended again? Delphine knew that if she lost Cosima that would be the end of her as well, the disease that was in her genetics would continue to test them and if they wanted to win against it and save Cosima and her sisters. A miracle would be appreciated at any time, really. Delphine had lived without Cosima for as long as she could, she had a few slip ups that saved her from certain insanity. The stolen kisses and the, at times close, proximity that she had to Cosima from her working at DYAD with Scott were the only things that kept her going day to day. The photos of her with Shay nearly broke her along with the threat of Cosima's resignation but the hope she had that Cosima might still want her and love her with the little glances and touches she stole whenever she could. Delphine wrapped her arm around the waist of her beloved and pulled her close so that their bodies were touching from chest to toe though Cosima's toes only reached halfway down Delphine's calf, she looked into the eyes of her loved one and thought about how well they fit together like two pieces of a puzzles that she hadn't known existed. Cosima loved how close they were and relaxed into the embrace and began to kiss the neck of the blonde woman that pulled her closer again so that there wasn't even room for a molecule of air between them. Cosima was reluctant to let this go any further because she was worried about Delphine and how her body would cope until Delphine could sense her reticence and wrapped a leg around her thrusting into her, just a little bit.
"I won't break, you know?" Delphine tightened her hold on Cosima, with both the arm around her waist and the leg around her to bring them back together.
"You know that we don't have to, if you aren't feeling up to it? I'm not, like, expecting anything. I know that you must be in pain." Cosima softened the words with a kiss on the lips which Delphine soon took control the kiss and turned them both so that she was on top of Cosima, still connected.
Delphine moved her lips to Cosima's neck and started to nibble and suck at the delicate skin above the carotid artery. Cosima moaned slightly at the contact and took a steadying breath before speaking again.
"I will take that as you are feeling better." Delphine laughed against her neck while she moved lower. Cosima tried to steer the direction they were taking by trying to roll them but Delphine remained certain.
"Non, let me. S'il vous plaît." Delphine said as she kissed lower once again.
They both laid there on the bed, sated after a passionate encounter, next to each other. Cosima had intertwined their fingers and was playing with Delphine's hand when she began to cough in earnest. Cosima released Delphine's hand to push herself into a sitting position to be in a better position to cough deeply so that the urge to cough would go and she could breathe once more. She continued to cough until one last hack brought up a chunk of blood that would concern anybody even if they hadn't been her doctor. Delphine sat up and placing a hand on Cosima's back, a look of grave concern on her face.
"Cosima, you did not say that it was like this again. We need to move fast, I won't lose you."
"You won't lose me." Cosima said even though she had no idea if what she was saying was true or not. "I won't leave you. I'll call Sarah and we can set something up. For now, I just need some rest and you." She smiled at the concerned woman and pulled her into a hug. The blonde relinquished her stance and allowed herself to be pulled into an embrace and they fell back to the bed, wrapped around each other once more.
Mon cher = my dear
mon amour= my love
Im not sure how often these updates will come, uni has started again and its pretty full on but i will try to get them to you fortnightly if not weekly.