A while ago…

Amelia enjoyed another one of Bella's parties. The former outlaw wanted to raise funds for her center for women who were in crisis. Whether it was women who were forced to be bar girls or work the streets to survive or women trying to figure out how to support themselves after losing their husbands, Bella wanted to provide them with hope for their futures.

The Civil War had turned a lot of wives into windows and she had heard the stories of how some of them had wound up coming west to start over. Cities like San Francisco had sprung up, lively hubs of commerce and culture.

"This is wonderful," Amelia said, "I wish I could stay longer but…"

Bella chuckled.

"You want to move onto your next adventure."

Amelia couldn't deny that there had been many eventful episodes during her six months spent traveling. Not that she forgot the town and the people she'd left behind but when she hadn't been thinking of the man, she had enjoyed most of her travels.

But she knew that a part of her had been running, she'd just seen what her own life would look like as a widow, Ethan's widow taking care of four children. She'd grown to love them like her own and had helped take care of them but she'd had dreams too…held inside of her and included in the pages of a scrap book since she was a child back in Australia. One place, one continent had never been enough to contain her. Her ex-husband Pierce had realized that about her and his own wanderlust had attracted her to him brought her into the fold of a lifestyle that had seen as foreign to her as the new country. But she'd grown into it while married to him.

"I think I know where I'm heading next," Amelia said, "I've been thinking about it a lot."

"Does it have to do with Ethan?"

Amelia smiled.

"I do miss him but he might have moved on with his own life," she said, "I broke his heart I think when I left but it'll mend. Maybe he's found someone by now."

"Maybe not…I don't think he's like that," Bella said, "He's earnest about everything he does…I can respect that even though we weren't on the same side of the law."

Amelia knew that to be true. That's one thing that had drawn her to him, when she saw how much he'd thrown himself into raising his sister's children. He'd been like that when pursuing her, from his impulsive decision to kiss her that day at Mr. Lee's store that seemed less so as time went by. He'd proposed to her after trying a couple of times before one of the friends or foes from his past came looking for him.

"I know but our weddings were always interrupted and then some of his enemies burned our new house down."

Bella shrugged.

"Things happen…including terrible things but you can't let it stop you from getting what you want."

Amelia went to pour herself another glass of wine at the table.

"I don't think it was ever going to happen for us," she said, "and his job as marshal took so much of his time."

"You love him though…"

"Of course…that was never the problem," Amelia said, "I just realized that if anything happened to him…I didn't know what I'd do. I felt like a part of who I was would die with him…I needed something of myself."

Bella nodded.

"I can understand that but not enough to just walk away forever."

Amelia paused sipping her wine.

"I don't know if I want that," she said, "When I left I did…I didn't plan on ever going back…but I love him so much…I'm not sure what to do."

"Oh you know what to do."

Sometimes Amelia thought that she did, other times she felt conflicted. She didn't know how to figure out a way across the impasse between herself and Ethan. But she knew that she wanted to do that. Why did life have to be so complicated?

Suddenly a man walked up to them. He was dressed up in a nice suit and looked like he came from money.

"Hi ladies."

Bella smiled at him.

"Hi Warrick…"

He smiled and then looked over at Amelia.

"And who is this pretty lady?"

Bella chuckled.

"This is Amelia Lawson; she's staying in our fine city for a spell…but leaving pretty soon."

Warrick appeared to digest that.

"What a shame…you can't leave San Francisco without one of my guided tours."

Amelia tilted her face.

"Tour…I've traveled the city…"

"Yes…of its highlights. This city is different things to different people so no tour will be the same as another."

"I see…well I still have a couple days," she said, "Maybe I'll try yours out."

He smiled and Amelia liked his smile. It had a boyish sense to it and god knows, she had a weakness for that. But then she wasn't going to marry him, it would just be another chance to see the city before she left it.

She spent the rest of the time at the party talking with him.

Amelia shoveled the straw into the stall while Carla had taken the mare and colt outside to the meadow for a while. The mother grazed with her baby nearby. She'd remembered that night of the party when she'd been talking with Warrick. He'd been handsome and charming but he hadn't been Ethan. Still, she'd found herself feeling more at ease with him and he had told her about his business that he'd moved to San Francisco from Chicago. He'd run into Bella at his store and she'd invited him to the party. He'd been getting visits by a trio of hardened looking men who had wanted a piece of his action, but then he hadn't been the only businessman to come from Chicago.

She didn't like thinking about him and what he'd looked like the last time she saw him months ago. She just focused on ranching which was much less complicated.

"Amelia…"

The familiar voice that always made her catch her breath. She turned around and saw him enter the barn.

"Ethan…"

"Bella said you were out here."

She put her shovel aside.

"Are you here about the horse?"

"I brought Ben and George," he said, "They're more interested in the horse."

She didn't know what to say to that.

"I wanted to see you."

She furrowed her brow.

"Why…?"

"Because I wanted to," he said, "I want to invite you to dinner tonight."

"Dinner…in town?"

He nodded.

"At the saloon…Scotty's added something new on the menu."

She brushed her hands on her pants.

"I've got some work left to do here…but okay I'll meet you at the saloon after I get ready."

He watched her resume shoveling and walked over to the stall door. She didn't look at him.

"So what's Martha going to think?"

"She's busy working on the final plans for Founder's Day with her father and she and I…we're not seeing each other."

That gave her some pause.

"She know that?"

"I think so…but she's more into the town's future than me…except as the town marshal."

Amelia sighed.

"Then her father went out and bought his own security force."

"He did and they're going to turn the town upside down."

She walked back over to where he stood.

"Ethan they were relentless with their questions and no one here did anything wrong…It's just because of Bella's past."

"Well a past can be hard to shake," Ethan said, "I know that from experience."

"I know but everyone deserves another chance."

"No argument from me...but a reporter from San Francisco showed up in town today looking for Bella to talk about her past."

"Who…?"

"Ernie Buckley."

She nodded slowly.

"Yes I remember him," she said, "He was asking all these questions about the murder."

Ethan looked at her suddenly.

"Murder…?"

She seemed to realize he was there…

"Back in San Francisco," she said, "No shortage of them in a city that size."

"I'd heard stories," Ethan said, "With Daggett and his gang there…"

Amelia started sweeping again.

"People said he did some of them…but it's a rough crowd there and some of the armed men who worked for some of the powerful businessmen were part of that."

"It's like that in most cities…even some towns."

"That's true Ethan…but not like there…there's a struggle for power at the top that spilled out into the bottom…and there's no justice in that."

She knew she'd betrayed how much that had mattered to her in his voice but if he picked it up, he didn't react.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to tell you that…after all it's miles away from here."

She left the stall and went over to the hay bales.

"So you know that Darrin's bringing in three more men…"

Ethan nodded.

"They arrived with the reporter and are in a meeting with Darrin," he said, "I'm going to pay them a visit tomorrow."

"Good luck…they're not going to tell you anything," she said, "and they'll be paid the same money from people like Amos and Axelrod just like with the others."

She couldn't hide the disgust in her voice. But she didn't trust any of these outsiders. She just wished they'd stay away from Bella's ranch.

"I couldn't stop them," Ethan said, "and as long as they stay on their properties."

She shook her head.

"They haven't done that so far. They were out at the ranch asking questions as if someone here was guilty."

"Dakota and I'll make sure that they don't come back."

She just walked outside the barn to go check on Clara who was with the two horses.

"I just don't want them here…and I don't want to talk about it…"

He smiled at her.

"Okay we'll find some other things to talk about at dinner then."

She nodded.

"That'll be nice…I remember what you said Ethan…I just don't know if it'll work that's all."

He walked up to stand next to her at a fence.

"Let's just focus on having a good time," he said, "I'm looking forward to it."

She paused looking into his face before nodding.

"So am I…"

But as she stood with him, she knew what he wanted and yet she didn't have any idea on how to tell him.