Thanks again for the reviews! I know this story is full of angst and some are worried that it won't have the "Happily Ever After" you've hoped for, but I promise this long and winding road they are on will end with happiness eventually. Just not yet...

Olivia woke up the next morning, Elliot's arms still wrapped tightly around her. She couldn't get his words out of her head. I know you want this baby…I'm trying to want it too…I really am… She knew he was trying. He'd been nothing but supportive since the night at the hospital and she knew he would pretend to be happy if that was what she wanted from him. She couldn't do that to him though. She couldn't make him live the rest of his life regretting her or the baby. He had to really and truly want this, or she had to let him go…make him go. There was no other choice.

She sat up, carefully moving his arm from around her, and swallowed trying to hold off her morning sickness. She stood up, walking over to the dresser and grabbing yoga pants and a t-shirt. She'd been wearing stretchy clothes for the past several days, ever since the CVS procedure, and she was dreading squeezing into her work clothes tomorrow. Even though she wasn't really showing much, her stomach felt bloated and full and she could feel the hard mass forming just under her belly button. It wouldn't be long before everyone could tell just by looking at her that she was pregnant, and she didn't know how she felt about that. She was embarrassed…someone her age ending up with an unplanned pregnancy, and now she might have to do this all alone. It scared her.

She went in the bathroom and took a shower, letting the water pour over her while she cried, her tears mixing with the warm shower spray. She was mad at herself for crying. She didn't need to cry about this. She needed to be strong, like she'd always been. She didn't need Elliot…she didn't need anyone to take care of her. She'd always been fine on her own.

She stepped out of the shower, drying off and letting her hand rest on her stomach. "We're gonna be okay, kiddo. Me and you and your big brother…we're a family." She smiled. She'd always wanted a family, and now she had one, even if it wasn't the way she'd always expected it. "And your daddy does love you…he's just not ready right now. We have to give him some time." She pulled on her clothes and combed through her wet hair and opened the door, jumping a little when she saw Elliot standing there. "God El, you scared me half to death."

"Are you okay?" he asked, his eyes heavy from the night before. "Are we okay?"

"I'm fine," she said as she walked past him and toward Noah's room where he son was sitting in his crib, wide awake, but playful. She picked him up and took him to the changing table, changing his diaper while Elliot came up behind her.

"Liv…are we okay?" he asked again.

"We're fine, El," she sighed, picking up the baby and walking out of the room. She took him to the kitchen and sat him in his highchair, pouring some Cheerios on the tray and watching him pick them up and eat them one at a time.

"Olivia…" Elliot stood by the table. "Would you please talk to me?"

"There's nothing to talk about, Elliot," she looked at him and was pleased with herself that she managed not to cry. "You don't want the baby right now. I understand. You're scared…or you feel like a bad father…or you're still grieving over Kathleen and this is too painful for you right now. Whatever the reason, I get it. You're trying to do the right thing, to be the good guy by standing by me…but you don't need to do that. I don't need you to."

"I want to," he insisted. "I want to be here for you…for our baby…for Noah," he looked at the little boy happily eating his breakfast. She sat at the table, trying to control her nausea and he sat next to her realizing she was sick again. "Liv…what can I do?"

"Nothing," she looked sadly at him. "Just go…you have to go to work."

"I don't want to leave you like this," he admitted.

"I want you to go," she sighed. "I want some time apart…until both of us decide what we really want here."

"I love you," he said sincerely. "So much…"

"I know you do," she took a deep breath, "I love you too…but maybe that isn't enough right now."

"I want to be here," he told her.

"I want you to go to work," she argued. "I'll call you in a few days…we can talk more then. Right now, you need time away from here to think about…everything."

"Promise me you won't push me away," he pleaded. "I want to be a part of this. I want to know my child, Liv."

"You will," she promised. She closed her eyes, putting her head in her hands and trying to force herself to feel better. If she started throwing up, he'd insist on staying to help her and she wanted him to leave her alone. "Go to work, El. You're gonna be late."

He leaned over and kissed her softly on the head, rubbing her shoulders, "Call me…if you need anything…" he looked over at Noah, happily playing with his cereal and smiled, "See you soon, buddy." And he hoped he would see both of them soon. The thought of not being there broke his heart. He loved Olivia and Noah, he loved the new baby…he just didn't know how to get past his fears. He walked out the door and Olivia put her head on the table and let her tears fall. If they loved each other so much, why did they always hurt one another? It felt like it had always been that way…and old habits die hard.