Out of Hand by relativelypositive
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or make any money from the use of J. K. Rowling's characters.
Chapter 4: Accidental enslavement?
Draco couldn't take his eyes off her.
It wasn't a good thing. She was bright red and her eyes were streaming. She was laughing so hard she was no longer making any noise. Every time she made headway in calming down, she said one or two words that made no sense to Draco and started giggling all over again.
After five minutes or so she seemed to get a hold of herself. Though not entirely.
Clearly not realizing who she was in the alcove with, Hermione grabbed Draco's robes and shoved her forehead into his chest.
As her giggles calmed, Draco wondered what he was supposed to do. She was acting like a lunatic! And she was touching him.
Draco contemplated detaching himself from the giggling girl until one sentence, clear even though her voice was high and hysterical, sent her into peals of laughter again.
"I said 'fuck me' to Professor McGonagall!"
It felt like she was holding herself up by holding onto him, and Draco found he kind of liked it. Not to mention that her utterance had him cracking a smile. His curiosity was piqued, but his instinctive fear of showing interest in Granger held him back. She followed up that statement a few moments later when she caught her breath.
"And I lost 550 house points!"
"For swearing or for soliciting a teacher?"
That made her laugh even harder and lean on Draco's chest a little more. It also made Draco laugh –but just a bit. He found the squeak in her voice, so different from her usual husky tone, to be quite funny.
"I asked her about sex!"
"What? Why?"
"Because I fell asleep!"
At this Hermione's legs finally gave out and she managed to twist herself around to put her back against Draco's legs. She was laughing soundlessly again and Draco was starting to think she'd never stop. He didn't know why her falling asleep was funny, but he was surprised to find he wanted to.
"Granger, get up. Come on. I need some answers, right now!" Draco tried to sound stern, but he was still smiling. He couldn't help it.
Hermione pulled herself up slowly and finally faced Draco again. Her eyes were losing their mirth, and understanding took over.
"Oh, you probably heard about what I said."
Draco's mind snapped back to reality and he jumped away from her, even though she wasn't touching him anymore.
"You really said it? I thought you'd deny it!"
What was she thinking? Didn't she know what she'd done?
Draco had spent a good deal of time since he turned thirteen avoiding such situations and taking elaborate precautions to not let any witch force him into a relationship.
"You should've seen Ron! He fainted dead away!"
"What does this have to do with Weasley?"
"It doesn't matter. I said what I said. It's over. Sorry I made you mad. I'm surprised it even made it back to you. Actually, I'm not. The rumor mill is incredibly efficient here. Really, Malfoy, it had nothing to do with you! If it helps, I don't think anyone will believe it."
"Here's the problem, Granger. Your cavalier little insinuation could very well end up costing you your freedom!"
"What?" This time Hermione's squeak had nothing to do with amusement.
"Courtship rituals, Granger? Ring a bell?"
"No, actually. That's why I fell asleep in the Restricted Section last night! Why is it so flippin' hard to find information on this crap?"
Draco realized her frustration, annoyance, and anger were genuine. She really didn't know! That was...interesting. Then why had she said it?
"There is a certain way these things are supposed to be passed down. You won't find them in books, unless they are books that should be illegal."
"No book should ever be illegal!"
"If there was a book on how to legally trap you in marriage, would you want anyone off the street to be able to read it and implement their findings?"
"What are you talking about?"
"Enslavement."
"Don't be ridiculous."
"First you tell me you don't know about courtship, then you tell me I'm ridiculous when I tell you the truth. At this rate our marriage will be riddled with contention."
"Our what?" Hermione squeaked again.
Draco was quite enjoying this now. He'd never been in the position to mess with Granger this way before. He wondered how far he could go, then realized he could accidentally formalize their engagement and felt the zing of familiar fear. He knew, deep down, that they weren't in danger...yet. But he just couldn't help himself!
"Our marriage! That is what happens when a girl claims relations happened! An engagement is pending now, and the only hope we have of avoiding this catastrophe is for you to publically deny that anything untoward happened."
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Hermione couldn't stand it anymore. She had been speechless when Malfoy had walked away from her this morning, and she had been robotically attending her classes ever since. She'd heard the whispers, the innuendo, the outright insults from those witches and wizards that thought she was trying to force Malfoy to marry her.
It was laughable, really, but she had no more laughing inside her. What she did have was a simmering anger that would take very little to become boiling...and possible boil over.
Malfoy was in most of her classes, and avoided her like she was dangerous. She supposed, to him, she was now his worst nightmare.
Malfoy expected her to advertise that she hadn't seen his junk. In the newspaper. Like an ad. That she would pay hundreds of galleons for. So people would read it.
Specifically so she could announce to Mommy and Daddy Malfoy that she hadn't defiled their son.
If it wasn't done publically apparently it didn't count.
"Please disregard my previous statement that Draco Malfoy is well hung and performs like a stallion. I have no firsthand knowledge of width, length, girth, or stamina. Sincerely, Hermione Granger."
Would that appease him?
Why did she even have to do this? The whole idea was ridiculous. She had to convince everyone that she and Malfoy hadn't been screwing each other silly? From what little she'd read, weren't the sex police supposed to apparate in and force engagement rings on their fingers if they so much as looked at each other's privates?
Maybe it wasn't that invasive. Maybe it was their parents' propaganda. If they could convince their kids that if they had sex everyone would know and you'd have shackled yourself to that person forever…that would be an effective deterrent. Parents have been teaching their children to believe crazy things since the dawn of time. Why should this be any different?
Hermione's thoughts kept running around one thought…
It's a lie…it's not true….
A/N:
Thank you to dracosgirl007, Lauran_Enquist, and ASJS for the happy thoughts.
Thanks again for all the follows and favorites!
Not that I'm counting. Really, I'm not.
The website does it for me.