Hello and thank you for reading my story, it's very pleasing to know that there are some of you who are still logging on to read it this far along. As always, I welcome your feedback and appreciate anything you lovely people have to say.
I do not own the Hunger Games nor its characters.
Chapter Forty-Eight
Blocking out the six months that lead up to the Victory Tour is not as easy as it usually is, probably because my tributes are actually alive this year and feel the need to make regular visits. They're never together, of course, the only time they speak to each other is if they accidentally end up in my house at the same time.
I think that most of the district has worked out that Katniss and Peeta's relationship was mainly for the cameras but they have so much respect for both of them that no one says anything let alone informs the authorities. You can say what you want about 12 but we tend to stick together for the most part, after all, having nothing only encourages you to cherish the things you do have such as family and friends.
The day before we're due to head off on our tour of Panem I stock up on white liquor so that it's ready and waiting for me when I get back, I have a feeling that I'm going to need it more than ever. I've only been on one Victory Tour and that wasn't the most pleasant of experiences.
As I'm leaving The Hob Katniss is entering with her bag filled up with game, I think hunting keeps her mind away from the Games and I know she doesn't want to turn her back on the people that helped bring her home. Greasy Sae managed to rally most of The Hob in to donating money for Katniss and Peeta and quite a lot of the district chipped in, too. That's another debt that Katniss will spend her life repaying, I know it.
"Hey," she says to me, "I was going to drop by later but you can have your pick of the game now if you like."
"That's okay, thanks, I've got enough food in the house," I reply.
"Oh, okay." She bites her lip as if she's trying to stop herself from talking and those grey eyes are boring in to me as if pleading for me to know what's going on in her head.
"Everything all right?"
She moves back a little so we're out of the way of the entrance to The Hob. "I'm worried, Haymitch. About the tour and…and Peeta. I mean, we've hardly spoken these past six months."
"You'll be fine," I say, although I'm not sure that's true but I can't afford for her to be worrying right now. "You just have to act like a love sick puppy again and zone everything else out, okay?" She nods, "And come and wake me up an hour before the prep team and cameras arrive, I doubt I'm going to be up early." I raise the bottles of liquor, which gets a small smile out of her and begin to walk home.
For someone so young I think she understands my compulsion to drink, especially now that she's been through the Games and come out the other end. Ripper had a shortage a few months ago and I know I terrified her and Prim when visions of Dinium covered in lava appeared before me but, luckily, she's never chastised me for it. Not since before the Games, anyway.
We're going through a cold winter and it takes so long to heat up this house that it makes no difference to my body temperature once I'm inside. I sit down at the table in my kitchen, break open the seal on one of the bottles, clutch my knife and drink until I pass out.
An ice cold sensation suddenly comes over my head and my gut reaction is to jump out of my chair and slash my knife at the air, screaming at my nightmares.
"Get away!" I yell, "I'll kill you, you bastard!" My vision becomes a little clearer and I can see Katniss standing before me, looking a little annoyed and I realise that I'm covered in water. "What are you doing?"
"You told me to wake you an hour before the cameras come."
"What?" I snap, struggling to remember this.
"Your idea."
"Why am I all wet?"
"I couldn't shake you awake. Look, if you wanted to be babied, you should have asked Peeta."
"Asked me what?" Says Peeta voice, followed by the boy himself. He walks over to the table and places a loaf of freshly baked bread upon it. The smell is nothing short of divine. He holds out his hand, waiting for me to hand over my knife.
"Asked you to wake me up without giving me pneumonia," I say, obligingly giving him the knife. He cleans it with the liquor and begins to cut the bread.
I take off my wet shirt and begin to pat myself down but there's not much point, I'm covered in vomit and what I really need is a hot shower.
"Would you like a piece?" Peeta asks Katniss as if they've never met before.
"No, I ate at The Hob," she says. "But thank you."
"You're welcome."
I throw my shirt on the floor in annoyance and turn back to the confused teenagers standing in front of me. "Brrr. You two have got a lot of warming up to do before showtime."
Katniss scowls and says, "Take a bath, Haymitch."
I send Peeta home and take Katniss' advice, even I think I'm in a worse state than usual. I must have had a really heavy night last night.
As I lie in the tub I can't help but think about how Peeta and Katniss must get over whatever issues it is they have with each other in order to continue their fake relationship on the tour. But that's not the only thing that's worrying me. I haven't spoken about it to Katniss, yet, but I'm hoping she's worked it out. We've all had months to think about it and it's never been far from my thoughts.
Until Snow is brought down and Panem can be free her and Peeta will have no choice but to keep up this relationship if they are going to show that they never meant to undermine the Capitol. Snow will never let them be anything other than in love and if the rebellion doesn't happen for another twenty years or more they're going to have to get married and, no doubt, be forced to have children. And those children will almost certainly be reaped.
I'm broken from my thoughts by the sound of Effie's voice calling me from downstairs. How the heck did she get in here?!
I groan as I get out of the tub and wrap a towel around myself. I could get dressed but I have so few sources of pleasure these days that making Effie feel uncomfortable will give me some of buzz.
"Oh, Haymitch, you could have put some clothes on!" She screeches as I walk in to the living room. She's doing everything she can to avoid my gaze.
"Why? It's my house, you're the one who's trespassing."
"I am not tres…never mind! Just get dressed, we're leaving soon!" She shouts and totters out of the house, her huge orange wig struggling to stay attached to her head.
When I'm finally dressed and ready to leave I open the door to find Katniss and Peeta kissing in the snow; the cameras refusing to move away from them. I smile to myself, hoping that they can keep this up for the rest of the tour. Maybe this won't be as difficult as I thought.
The train is as luxurious as ever, as is dinner, but no one is in a particularly talkative mood. I guess we're all feeling the pressure of this trip, especially Katniss and Peeta.
Night time soon comes and Katniss is knocking on my door telling me she needs to talk to me. The train is stopping for fuel so I suppose now is as good a time as any to speak away from the hidden microphones.
We go outside, where I almost fall to the ground but Katniss manages to help me back up.
"What?" I finally ask and a long story comes flying out of her mouth. President Snow paid her a visit this morning to inform her that some of the districts are on the verge of rebelling, which makes me feel more happy than worried but I don't let on, and it's vital that her and Peeta keep the peace across Panem. If they don't then the repercussions for all of us are unimaginable, especially her friend, Gale, who she stupidly kissed one day in the woods. Did she really think that Snow wouldn't find out about that?!
"If you could just help me get through this trip-" she says but I interrupt her.
"No, Katniss, it's not just this trip."
"What do you mean?"
I sigh, I really did think that she would have given this some thought before, sometimes I wonder if I overestimate her. "Even if you pull it off, they'll be back in another few months to take us all to the Games. You and Peeta, you'll be mentors now, every year from here on out. And every year they'll revisit the romance and broadcast the details of your private life, and you'll never, ever be able to do anything but live happily ever after with that boy." Her face drops and I can see her working it all out, I wonder if I should tell her about the rebellion but she's so full of anger and confused emotions right now that she could ruin the whole thing. "Do you understand what I mean?"
She nods and whispers something about marrying Peeta and for the first time I don't see the fearless young woman who fought in and won the Hunger Games. Instead, I see a little girl terrified for her family and carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders.
We go back to the train and I say, "You could do a lot worse, you know," before going back to my room but I doubt those words will bring her any comfort. She knows what a decent young man Peeta is but if she doesn't love him, she'll never be able to force herself to.
I wake up about midday and instantly go in search of Cinna and Portia; they're the only people on this train who I would trust with the information Katniss gave me last night.
Neither of them are surprised, I think we all knew that our strategy in the Games could come back to hurt us but they both assure me they'll do what they can with Katniss and Peeta's clothes to present them as the Capitol's latest recruits. The less they look like District 12 rebels, the better.
We all head for the dining cart where Peeta and Effie have already started eating but I'm not very hungry so I just pick at a muffin and make sure I have a bottle of liquor near me. Katniss joins us and from the bland expression on her face I can tell that she'd rather be anywhere else other than here.
When the train suddenly stops it turns out that there's a malfunction, which, of course, sends Effie doolally but Katniss snaps at her and storms out of the cart, much to everyone's surprise. She usually just sits there and endures the situation. Peeta goes after her and I can already feel that our plan is falling apart at the seams.
"Well, that was beyond rude!" Screeches Effie, "I hope she learns some manners before we reach Eleven!"
"It's going to be nice to see Chaff and Seeder before the Games," I say to no one in particular, still staring at my muffin.
"Oh no, Haymitch, did I not tell you?" Says Effie, "None of the victors will be attending the tour events this year."
"Why am I not surprised?" I say but Effie just tutts and turns her attention to her bowl of stew. She must know that Snow doesn't want his victors mingling with anyone who could represent rebellion.
Katniss and Peeta finally return so that Katniss can say sorry to Effie, which involves a very long and over the top speech, before they both leave to go and view Peeta's paintings. Now that neither of them need to go to school they're supposed to have a talent but I know that Cinna has been designing clothes so that Katniss can pretend to have some sort of gift. Apparently hunting isn't very fashionable in the Capitol.
I should go and see Peeta's paintings but he brought me one once and it was of the Careers taunting Katniss whilst she was high up in a tree and I didn't want to see any more; it was far too vivid and brought back horrible memories.
As we approach 11 we all get changed and make ourselves look a little more presentable. The coldness and snow from 12 is long gone and instead we are faced with a glaring sun and heat.
After the obligatory photos at the station we are hurried in to the Justice Building by the peacekeepers, much to Effie's outrage, and Peeta and Katniss are almost pushed on to the stage by their brightly coloured escort.
Myself, Cinna, Portia and Effie are all standing inside the Justice Building watching a nervous Katniss and Peeta on one of the television screens.
The Mayor gives a boring speech before the flowers are presented to the victors and then it's Katniss's turn to speak. She has the monotone voice that occurs when someone is trying to recite something from memory and she's boring me to tears. When Peeta takes over he's as vivacious as always and when he talks about Rue and Thresh it's easy to see that he means every word he's saying but then he declares that him and Katniss are going to give a month of their winnings each year to Rue's and Thresh's family.
"No!" I shout at the screen.
"What? I think that's a lovely gesture," says Effie.
"He's going to get us all killed!"
Effie turns her head away as if I'm not there and I catch Cinna's and Portia's eyes; they look as worried as I feel.
"Wait!" Katniss' voice suddenly shouts from the screen and I turn to see her running forward on the stage. What the hell is she doing now?! "I want to give my thanks to the tributes of District Eleven," she looks towards Thresh's family and describes what a powerful and admirable boy he was and suddenly the whole crowd are gripped by her words. Then she turns to Rue's family, "I feel as if I did know Rrue, and she'll always be with me. Everything beautiful brings her to mind. I see her in the yellow flowers that grow in the Meadow by my house. I see her in the mockingjays that sing in the trees. But most of all, I see her in my sister, Prim. Thank you for your children. And thank you all for the bread."
There is silence and then the four note tune that Rue whistled in the arena is sung from someone in the crowd but before we can figure out who it is the screen goes black and no matter how much Effie hits it the picture doesn't come back.
BANG! My head spins around, looking for the source of the noise.
"Did you hear a gun shot?" I ask, panicked and willing Katniss and Peeta to walk back in to the building.
"Don't be so ridiculous!" Says Effie but her voice lacks conviction.
Eventually Peeta and Katniss re-enter the building but Katniss' face has gone white and she looks like she could pass out at any time. Peeta's holding her close and has that protective look in his eye that I saw so many times in the arena.
"What happened?" Asks Effie. "We lost the feed just after Katniss' beautiful speech, and then Haymitch said he thought he heard a gun fire, and I said it was ridiculous, but who knows? There are lunatics everywhere!"
"Nothing happened, Effie," says Peeta, "An old truck backfired."
Two more gun shots follow his words and now everyone is wearing looks of worry and it's clear that the Hunger Games are not over. We may be out of the arena but we're still fighting for our lives.