Okay, I am back to post more. Again I need to thank those who have been SO supportive of this story. I especially want to thank CCL13, FayVDM, and mandytyzack for the kind PMs, as well as all of you who have left supportive comments in the reviews. To those who are really disappointed by this, saddened by this, or just uncomfortable with it...I understand how you are feeling. I really felt like this story needed to be told in this way. It was not my intent to disappoint anyone, so if you feel you can't read it now, I understand. But I want to say that this is not a tragedy. This is the story about the making of a very special family. There will be ups and downs, but there will also be so much joy in the end! So thank you to those who are going to continue following the story down that path to happiness. It will be worth it! :)

"What time is it?" Olivia asked when she opened her eyes the next morning. She'd had a rough night, not being able to fall asleep after her time on the computer, waking up crying…but once she finally fell asleep for good she knew she had slept a long time.

Elliot was across the room getting dressed and he came over and sat on the bed next to her. "It's almost eleven," he brushed the hair back from her face. "How are you feeling this morning?"

She shook her head, "I'm okay…still tired. I can't believe it's so late." She sighed, "Shouldn't you be at work?" She closed her eyes. "I should be at work too."

"No…I am staying home today, and so are you," he leaned over and kissed her. "I called my secretary and told her to cancel my appointments and I called Fin and told him to let everyone know you weren't coming in today."

"You called Fin?" she asked.

"I did," he smiled. "I think it's time I put aside my differences with him. He cares about you, Liv…and he's a good friend. He told me about yesterday…you passed out and they had to report it? He thought maybe that's why you weren't coming in."

"I'm going to lose my position as C.O., but I don't even care anymore," she closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. "Did you tell him about the baby?"

"Yeah," Elliot nodded. "He said to tell you he's glad it's a girl…and we better hope she looks like you and not me."

"Do you think she'll really look like either one of us?" Olivia asked sadly.

"Of course she will," he knew she was still heartbroken by the diagnosis, but he also knew she had to come to terms with it. "Liv, she's going to be beautiful…like you."

"I hope her eyes are blue…like yours," Olivia gave a weak smile. "Your eyes are gorgeous."

He laughed, "Really? How long have you been secretly lusting over my gorgeous eyes?"

"Since the day I met you," she smiled. "The day we became partners, I went out to dinner with my mother and she asked about you. I told her my new partner had the sexiest blue eyes I'd ever seen. She told me I'd be sleeping with you within a month." She laughed, "She couldn't have been more wrong."

"You had good restraint," he teased. "I remember that day…I kept looking at you sitting at your desk and I was trying not to…but I kept imagining what it would be like to kiss you. Remember that red lipstick you used to wear? I just wanted to push my lips against yours."

"God…that red lipstick," she laughed. "It was hideous."

"You were beautiful," he leaned forward and kissed her gently. "You still are."

"I don't feel beautiful," she admitted. "I feel…like I've aged ten years in the last two months. I'm so tired and so sick…"

"Are you feeling sick now?" he asked, gently placing his hand on her stomach. "Do you want me to make you some tea or something? I can get you some cereal or toast."

She shook her head, "No…I don't feel like eating or drinking anything." She sat up on the bed, "I need to get dressed so I can go home. I haven't seen Noah in days."

"Liv, you have to eat," he reminded her. "The baby needs you to eat…and not a package of Oreos in the middle of the night. Real food. Fin told me you haven't been eating the past few days either."

"So you and Fin decide to get along and just swap stories about me?" she asked. "El, I am too sick to eat in the morning. If you mention food again…I'm gonna puke all over this bed. Maybe I can handle the tea."

"Okay," he rubbed her shoulder. "I'll go get the tea while you get dressed." She leaned back on the bed, closing her eyes and trying to settle her stomach while he went to make her tea. She appreciated that he wanted to take care of her, but she wished he could understand how miserable she felt. She wasn't trying to go without food. She knew the baby needed her to eat, but nothing she ate would stay down anyway and she was tired of throwing up. She was eating when she could handle it, but maybe she did need to try to pick healthier things when she felt hungry. She'd never craved so much sugar before in her life.

She stood up, grabbing her clothes from the floor where she had left them the night before. She pulled on her shirt, buttoning it, looking down to where the fabric pulled away from the buttons at her chest. "My boobs are huge," she sighed as Elliot walked in the room with her tea.

"What did you say about your boobs?" he teased.

She looked at him and smirked, "They're huge…none of my shirts with buttons fit anymore." She pulled on her black slacks and fumbled with the button, trying unsuccessfully to suck in her stomach and then falling back on the bed trying to pull the sides together and force the button through the hole. Elliot looked at her and smiled, amusement on his face. "Don't laugh at me," she sighed, sitting up with her pants still unbuttoned. "I'm so fat…" she started to cry. "Nothing fits me anymore."

He sat next her and put his arm around her, "Hey…don't cry," he pulled her close.

"I wore these pants yesterday, El…Yesterday!" she sniffled.

"And they were too tight yesterday too," he reminded her. "I saw the red marks they left around your waist when you changed clothes last night, Liv. Don't worry about squeezing into them today, okay?"

"So what am I supposed to wear home? Your boxers?" she snickered.

"No," he laughed. "Go to Maureen's room and grab some sweats. They'll fit."

"You don't think she'll care?" she asked.

"No…she won't care," he promised her. "But you need to get some new clothes. Maybe not maternity clothes yet, but a few things that are a couple of sizes up from your old clothes. You can wear them until you're ready for maternity clothes…and then maybe again after the baby is born."

"I've always wanted this…" she said sadly. "To feel my child grow inside of me. So why am I so sad? Why am I crying over a stupid pair of pants? I don't even like them very much."

"Because…it's a big change and your body is going through so much," he hugged her. "Your hormones are all over the place…and you're tired. It'll get better…I promise."

She nodded, "Thanks," she stood up and walked to the door. The sooner she found clothes that would fit, the sooner she could get home to her son. Right now she wanted to cuddle with Noah more than anything. She needed him. She needed that sense of normalcy...because right now, nothing in her life felt normal. She was afraid it never would again.