Chapter One-Hundred-Five

When Syaoran returned to his room, he found Fai waiting for him. "Good evening," he mumbled, turning his face to the side so Fai wouldn't see his swollen lips. Syaoran felt Fai's gaze on the back of his neck and hurried over to his bedroll.

"I heard about what happened at the festival," Fai said from behind him.

Syaoran tensed, eyelids squeezing shut. "It's not a big deal." He knelt atop his bedroll, wincing as the movement tugged at his injuries. Washing out his wounds had soothed the worst of his discomfort, but every time he twisted or bent down, pain lanced through his lower body. How could Kurogane do this to me? he wondered, then felt a stab of guilt. No. No. He didn't mean to. He never wanted to hurt me.

"That nobleman you met—" Fai said, seeming to choose his words carefully. "He had no right to judge you."

Syaoran couldn't help his relieved sigh. He'd worried that Fai had been referring to his confrontation with Kurogane after the fistfight, but it appeared that bit of gossip hadn't reached his ears yet. "I know that."

"People often feel uncomfortable with things they have no personal experience with," Fai said. "That discomfort can make them . . . cruel toward those with unusual lifestyles. I'm not judging—I did quite a lot of experimenting when I was younger, and—"

"Fai-san, isn't this getting a bit personal?" Syaoran interrupted, blushing.

"Maybe. I just want you to know that no matter what anyone says, there's nothing wrong with having unique preferences."

"Thanks." But that really wasn't what I was worried about. "I'm going to get some sleep," he said, lying on his bedroll and facing the wall. "Goodnight."

When Fai didn't return the sentiment, Syaoran risked a glance over his shoulder. Fai's eye glowed gold in the dim light. Syaoran tensed, wary. "What is it?"

"Syaoran-kun . . ." The vampire blinked, his expression hardening. "Why do you smell like blood?"

He froze, heart jumping to his throat. He'd have blushed again if his face hadn't paled. "I . . . It was . . ."

In an instant, Fai crouched next to him, grabbing his collar to yank his shirt off to the side. Syaoran's eyes widened, and his hand went up to cover the bite on his shoulder, but it was too late. A look of shock swept across Fai's face.

"What is this?" The vampire's fingernail traced the skin just beneath the bite.

"Nothing. It's nothing."

"Nothing," Fai repeated, his voice cold. For an instant, Syaoran's mind flashed back to those first few weeks in Infinity. The cool glances, the conspicuous avoidance, the too-polite exchanges. All of those things that had, bit by bit, pushed him into Kurogane's arms, desperate for affection. Now, however, Fai's coldness seemed directed elsewhere. "Your lips are swollen."

At the reminder, Syaoran sucked on his lower lip, tracing the tender flesh with his tongue. His cheeks reddened, and his voice sounded uncertain even to his ears. "It was an eventful night."

Silence hummed in the air between them. Slowly, Fai sat back, his expression darkening. "Kurogane did this to you?"

He felt a surge of reflexive anger. "It's not like that between us. He loves me. He just . . . lost control for a few minutes."

"He lost control."

Syaoran wilted. It sounded so much worse as an accusation. "We've already talked about it. It's fine."

"No. It's not." Fai stood. "I'm going to speak with him about this. Now."

"You don't understand!" He shot to his feet, instinct prompting him to defend the ninja. "He said he was sorry. Please . . . please don't confront him. He's miserable enough."

The magician's gaze softened, his eye returning to its natural blue color. He rested a hand on each of Syaoran's shoulders, facing him. "I'm going to ask you a question, and I want you to be honest with me: Did you tell him it was okay to do this to you?"

He hesitated. "No, but . . ." His breath hitched. Syaoran closed his eyes, struggling to collect himself. "He said that if I wanted him to stop, all I had to do was say so. It's my fault."

Fai's arms dropped to his sides. Without another word, he turned and walked out of the room.

Kurogane had just started to calm down when the door slid open. His lips twisted into a snarl, and he started to turn, about to tell his visitor to fuck off because this room wasn't big enough for two people to practice in. As he recognized the figure, his anger evaporated, leaving wariness in its wake. "What are you doing here?"

The mage regarded him stiffly, shutting the door. Instinct put Kurogane on edge, and when the vampire strode over to him, he lifted his practice sword. "Well?" he asked, a hint of challenge in his voice. "What do you want?"

"What did you do to Syaoran-kun?"

Kurogane flinched, his guts going cold, as if he'd swallowed a bag of ice. He lowered his sword and stuffed it in a bin in the corner, with the rest of the practice swords. "Why do you need to know?"

He felt . . . something. Like a hand closing around his soul. His body went rigid, reacting immediately to the sensation, but before he could isolate its source, something slammed into his stomach, knocking him back. Magic, he realized, shocked. The bastard is using magic! On me!

Fai appeared at his side, moving supernaturally fast. He snatched the front of Kurogane's robe and yanked him forward. Off-balance, it took Kurogane a moment to shove him back. "What the hell?"

"Syaoran-kun came back to our room ten minutes ago with a bruised lip and a bite on his shoulder," the magician said, his voice frigid. Kurogane's eyes narrowed as he swept on. "When I asked him what else had been done to him, he wouldn't say anything. So now you're going to tell me what's going on, or I am going to crush the air out of your lungs." As he spoke, an invisible pressure wrapped around Kurogane's chest, like silk ribbons pulled tight. He grunted, raising his arm in instinctive, futile defense.

"Let me go!"

The pressure increased, squeezing the air out of his lungs. Adrenaline shot through his veins as pain flared along his torso. The pressure dropped to its previous level a moment later, allowing him to breathe. "Tell me," Fai said.

"It was an accident!" Kurogane shouted. "Jeez, it's not like I beat the shit out of him!"

The magic squeezed his ribcage again, and this time, he felt a stabbing pain as one of his ribs cracked. He gasped, writhing in the invisible restraints, unable to breathe. The pressure didn't let up until he started to see spots. Fuck, that hurt, he thought, glaring at the mage. Inhaling sharply, he explained. "We were at the festival, and this stuck-up nobleman started taunting us—"

"I'm aware."

His eyes narrowed. How many people know about that? he wondered, then refocused. "Afterward, I dragged the kid away from the festival. We argued."

"About what?"

"Fuck if I remember." As pain flared in his cracked rib, he went on. "I yelled at him. He said I wasn't acting like myself, and I told him that if he thought that everything I used to be didn't matter, he had no business being with me."

"And then?"

"He suggested we go settle things in my room," he growled, grateful that the anger in his voice disguised the awkwardness he felt at saying such a thing aloud.

Puzzlement flickered across the mage's face, and the invisible bindings around Kurogane's chest seemed to loosen. "Didn't that strike you as odd?" the wizard asked, looking baffled.

"Well . . . yeah."

A frown creased Fai's lips. "And . . . it didn't occur to you that he'd suggested that hoping it would defuse the situation?

Kurogane paused. "No."

A little V formed between the mage's eyebrows, then disappeared as his face smoothed out. "What happened then?"

"I took him back to my room."

"And then?"

What do you think, moron? He bit back his instinctive response, heat rising to his cheeks. Gods, this was awkward. "I, uh . . . I shoved him onto the mattress."

"And then?"

"It's a little fuzzy after that." His lungs seized up, but not because of the magic. "I . . . hurt him."

"Intentionally?"

He hesitated. Had he meant to hurt the kid? You must have, whispered an insidious voice in his mind. Just a little. Just enough to remind him who's in charge. Just enough to let him know it wasn't an accident. A wave of self-hatred followed the thought, and his next words came out bitter. "Yeah. Intentionally. I told him that if he wanted me to stop, he just had to ask." No, that's not right, the destructive voice murmured. You wanted him to say it. You wanted him to surrender. You wanted him to beg.

"That . . . lines up with what Syaoran-kun told me." The mage sounded surprised.

His head snapped up. "What did he tell you?"

"He said that you gave him plenty of opportunities to make it stop." Fai glanced up. "He said that you cleaned his wounds afterward. That you seemed . . . miserable."

He grimaced, closing his eyes. "I fucked up, all right? I know that. I knew it the second it was over. I went too far."

"You're right. You did go too far." The magician sighed, and the pressure around Kurogane's chest disappeared. He dropped to his knees and sucked in a sharp breath, pain sparking where he'd fractured a rib."There's something else that's bothering you. Something you're not saying," the vampire added after a minute.

There's a lot of shit that's bothering me, he thought, his hand tightening into a fist. A fragment of his conversation with the boy flickered through his mind: "You turned away from me . . ."

"You're not going to tell me, are you?"

Kurogane hesitated, then shook his head. "No."

"Because you think it's none of my business."

"It's not your business."

Fai studied him for a long moment, arms crossed, then sighed. "You really hurt him tonight."

"I know."

"And not just physically."

"I know."

"He loves you."

"Damn it, I know!" He inhaled, wincing. "I know, all right? I'm going to find a way to make it up to him."

"Good." Fai ghosted toward the door and stepped into the hallway. "Do that."

The door slid shut with a hiss.