Thank you for continuing to read my story and sorry for taking a little longer to update recently, life has been starting to get a bit hectic! As always I appreciate any feedback you have and am incredibly grateful to those who have taken the time to give me their thoughts.

I do not own the Hunger Games nor its characters.

Chapter Fifty-One

The blizzard gets worse and the mines are forced to close for two weeks, meaning more and more families go hungry. When Parcel Day arrives the food is spoiled before it even reaches us.

This also means that getting my hands on alcohol is impossible and my nightmares become more vivid and real every night. One morning I ran through the house, slashing my knife at the air and destroying the cushions on my sofa because I thought Dinium was chasing me. Hazelle, who Katniss persuaded me to take on as a housekeeper, froze on the spot when she saw me. If she hadn't shouted at me to calm down I don't know what I would have done to her. To me, she looked just like Opal with that evil gleam in her eye that has never really left me.

One afternoon I leave the nightmares and go to visit Katniss, as much as she drives me insane I still feel the need to keep an eye on her. Partly because I don't want her getting in to any more trouble with Snow and partly because I care about her in some, strange way. Peeta was right, she has no idea the effect she can have on people.

Clara opens the door and quickly ushers me in but Katniss has gone to see if she can get Prim's goat pregnant, I vaguely remember having this conversation with her last night.

"She's been gone a long time," says Clara, "I'm starting to worry. You know how reckless she can be sometimes."

I smirk, "Yep but she's also very resourceful. I'll hang around for a bit if you want."

Clara smiles and goes in to the kitchen to make us some tea. There will never be anything romantic between Clara and I, we're both still pining after people we can't have, but I'm starting to warm to the idea of having her as a friend. Ever since Katniss won she seems desperate to include me in her family's life and it's getting a lot harder to refuse the hand of friendship these days. Who knows how long it will be there for?

About an hour later there's a knock on the door and Peeta enters the house, his face red from the cold.

"I'm really starting to worry, now," says Clara.

"I'm sure she's fine," says Peeta with a half-smile. He looks like he wants to hug Clara but, being the gentleman that he is, he just stands there, awkwardly.

The longer we wait the more I'm starting to wonder if she has been foolish enough to run away but would she really do that without Prim? Or Peeta, even? I don't think so. I hope not.

"I'm going to get dinner started, I need something to do," says Clara and calls Prim down to help her.

"I really need a drink," I grunt, looking around for any sign of one.

"Would you settle for a game of chess?" Says Peeta and disappears upstairs before returning with a chess board. I have no idea who that belongs to but it seems a decent way to pass the time.

Seconds later there's another knock on the door and Clara almost sprints towards it, no doubt hoping that it's Katniss but instead she returns with a pair of peacekeepers, one male and one female.

"Can I get you any tea while you wait?" Asks Clara, "I'm sure Katniss will be back from her walk soon."

"In that case I don't think we'll be needing any tea," says the male peacekeeper in a monotone voice. "We only have a message to pass on from Romulus Thread."

It turns out that Katniss doesn't return soon and we have to wait for almost three hours, which is a long time to play chess for, especially when you're not very good and getting beaten by a seventeen year old.

When our famous victor finally comes home Clara quickly covers for her, asking if she's enjoyed her walk.

"May we ask where you've been, Miss Everdeen?" Asks the woman, who has stood in the corner of the room looking menacing for hours. Apparently it would be inappropriate for them to sit down.

"Easier to ask where I haven't been," says Katniss, walking across the room towards Prim.

"So where haven't you been?" I ask and she immediately launches in to a long spiel about getting Prim's goat pregnant, which turns in to a playful argument between everyone. It's all incredibly dull but it's annoying the peacekeepers and, more importantly, keeping up the pretence that Katniss hasn't been doing anything illegal, which I'm sure she has.

Peeta wraps his arm around Katniss and lightly kisses her before she turns to the peacekeepers. "You have a message for me?"

"From Head Peacekeeper Thread," says the woman. "He wanted you to know that the fence surrounding District Twelve will now have electricity twenty-four hours a day."

"Didn't it already?" Asks Katniss as if she didn't make it obvious in a nationwide screening of her fight for survival that she hunted illegally in the woods.

"He thought you might be interested in passing this information on to your cousin."

"Thank you. I'll tell him. I'm sure we'll all sleep a little more soundly now that security has addressed that lapse."

Both of the peacekeepers leave and Katniss slumps against the wall, claiming that she banged her foot when she fell on some ice but we know that's not true, otherwise she would have said when the peacekeepers were here. My guess it has something to do with the fence now having electricity.

She spends the following weeks resting her foot, which is actually a relief because it means I know she's in her house all the time and that's the safest place for her. I also seek out Ripper who has started selling white liquor again so, despite the worsening conditions in 12, I can block it all out.

I spend most of my time with my head on the kitchen table until a high pitched voice screaming "Haymitch!" awakes me one day.

I slowly raise my head to find Effie standing before me, an exasperated look on her face that always seems to be there when she speaks to me. "What are you doing here? You're weeks too early."

"Well if you bothered to answer your phone you would know that Snow wanted us to film Katniss in her wedding dresses as soon as possible!"

"Typical Snow, always getting his own way," I mumble before remembering the house is probably bugged. I'm not even sure if I care anymore.

"Umm…Plutarch gave me a message for you," she says quietly. "Seven and eleven." She clears her throat before flashing me a creepy smile, "Although I have no idea what it means! I'll be at Katniss' if you need me."

She scurries out of the house as if she's worried she might catch something. There's no way I'm walking in to a room full of Capitol wedding dresses and there's also no way I think that Effie is as clueless as she makes out. Districts 7 and 11 are in rebellion and she knows it.

I avoid Katniss and the wedding extravaganza that Snow has laid on for her, the whole thing makes me feel uneasy, but we do go for a walk in to Town the next day and she tells me where she really was the day she hurt her foot. Apparently she met two women from 8 called Bonnie and Twill hiding in the woods and they were on their way to 13. They said every time they see footage of a burning District Thirteen a mockingjay flies in to the corner of the picture, which Katniss has also seen. I act nonchalant about the whole thing, she's still erratic and as much as I want her to become the symbol of the rebellion, the mockingjay that was never meant to be made but continued to survive, I don't want her flying off the handle too soon. We're still playing a waiting game.

I do, however, mention that I've heard 7 and 11 are in revolt, too, hoping that it keeps her fire burning. I don't want her to give up, I just need her to explode at the right time.

"What do you think they'll do, Haymitch?" She says, "To the districts that are rebelling?"

"Well, you've heard what they did in Eight," I reply, "You've seen what they did here, and that was without provocation. If things really do get out of hand, I think they'd have no problem killing off another district, same as they did Thirteen. Make an example of it, you know?" I know I'm using scare tactics but I need to throw her off the scent, for now.

"So you think Thirteen was really destroyed? I mean, Bonnie and Twill were right about the footage of the mockingjay."

"Okay, but what does that prove? Nothing, really. There are plenty of reasons they could be using old footage. Probably it looks more impressive. And it's a lot simpler, isn't it? To just press a few buttons in the editing room than to fly all the way out there and film it? The idea that Thirteen has somehow rebounded and the Capitol is ignoring it? That sounds like the kind of rumour desperate people cling to."

"I know. I was just hoping," I say.

"Exactly. Because you're desperate," says Haymitch

When I come home I find a lovely peacekeeper standing on my porch, I don't bother to say hello and just walk up to him.

"Hello, Mr. Abernathy," he says, "I have a message from the Capitol, there is mandatory viewing on the television tonight at seven thirty."

I groan as I push past him, wondering what it could be. The only time we have mandatory viewing is when there is a big announcement about the Capitol's laws or there is news about the lead up to the Games.

The Quell, I think. It must be the reading of the card. The big twist that only happens every twenty-five years. The last of which involved me facing forty-seven other tributes and winning.

At seven twenty I grab the largest bottle of liquor I have and sit in front of the television, which has now switched itself on. My knife is in my right hand and my heart is pumping hard against my chest. This time twenty-five years ago I was surrounded by the family I adored and now I'm alone, drinking worse than my father and gripping a knife so hard it's giving my hand cramp.

I'm just catching the end of a special on Katniss' wedding dresses where there seem to be a million images of her in different white dresses. Seeing Katniss like this makes me wonder what it would have been like to have a daughter. Would I have been a proud father on her wedding day or worried about what she was about to enter in to? Would I be loving and protective or a terrifying wreck that she would never want to be around? The Games have not only robbed me of my sanity but also of the life that many men would like. I can't help but think of our ancestors, who may have faced war and destruction, but never had to fear handing their children over to a definite death. There was always hope. I've been clinging on to hope ever since I won and it's waned each year.

"That's right," Booms Caesar Flickerman from the television, "This year will be the seventy-fifth anniversary of the Hunger Games, and that means it's time for our third Quarter Quell!

The anthem plays and Snow takes to the stage, telling all of Panem how awful the war was seventy-five years ago and how the Hunger Games came to be.

"On the twenty-fifth anniversary, as a reminder to the rebels that their children were dying because of their choice to initiate violence, every district was made to hold an election and vote on the tributes who would represent it." Says Snow, "On the fiftieth anniversary, as a reminder that two rebels died for each Capitol citizen, every district was required to send twice as many tributes." I take a large swig from my bottle, trying not to think about the three other tributes who joined me from 12. The three tributes who didn't come home.

And now we honor our third Quarter Quell," continues Snow and a boy in white steps forward with the box of cards. Snow plucks the one with '75' written on it. I take another swig. "On the seventy-fifth anniversary, as a reminder to the rebels that even the strongest among them cannot overcome the power of the Capitol, the male and female tributes will be reaped from their existing pool of victors."

I scream at the top of my lungs, dropping the bottle and knife as my hands go weak. The sound of the glass smashing doesn't even cut through my pained scream.

I could be going back in to the arena. With Katniss. She's 12's only female victor and the only name that will be in that reaping bowl. We could face any number of terrors and the brutal Careers.

I scream again, I don't know what else to do.