Thought I'd post a little more before bed...mainly for those who wanted to see Olivia spend some time with Noah :)
Olivia had changed into her usual yoga pants and t-shirt and was sitting on the bathroom floor watching Noah play in the bathtub. As she watched him, she couldn't get the social worker's words out of her mind. Just get yourself together before the next visit. When had she become one of those women who had fallen apart enough that others had to tell her to pull it together? She had really let her life get off track and she wasn't sure how to follow this new path.
"Mama…" Noah's little voice brought her back from her thoughts. She looked at him splash his toy boat in the water and giggle. She picked up another little boat, filling it with water and pouring it out on his tummy, making him laugh even harder. She could not lose her little boy. She briefly flashed back to Calvin, the boy she'd taken custody of after his mother abandoned him. The social worker had come unexpectedly to the precinct to take Calvin away from her. He had clung to her and screamed her name when they took him away. Until now, that had been the saddest moment of her life, but Calvin was older and had only been with her for a month when he went to live with his grandparents who took good care of him and loved him. They even let Olivia talk to him on the phone and take him out to lunch or to the zoo occasionally. But Noah was different. He was hers…and he knew he was hers. He didn't know anyone else and it would kill her to watch him cry for her and not be able to do anything to keep him. She couldn't let that happen.
"Liv," Elliot stood in the doorway watching her play with Noah and he didn't really want to interrupt them. He knew she needed this time. "Are you hungry? It's getting late so I was thinking I'd order something."
She looked up at him and nodded, "Yeah…I'd love that," she smiled. "I did eat lunch…just like I promised. Grilled chicken salad and breadsticks…"
"You don't have to report back to me, Liv," he smiled. "I'm sorry about this morning."
"I know…me too," she nodded. "What are you getting for dinner?"
"I was thinking I'd just order Chinese," he suggested.
"Oh," she sighed and her face let him know she wasn't thrilled with his choice.
"What?" he asked. "You love Chinese."
"I know," she agreed. "But your daughter doesn't love it as much as I do."
He laughed, "Well then, what does our picky little princess want for dinner?"
"Tacos," she answered with a grin.
"Liv," he sighed. "No place will deliver tacos around here…and it's getting late."
"You could go get them," she looked pleadingly at him.
"Of course I can…" he smiled. He really didn't mind going out to get her the food she was craving and he felt lucky that she was asking him to do it. "Any particular tacos you want or should I just go track down a taco stand?"
"I want those fried ones, with the chopped meat and cheese inside," she said quickly and he had no idea what she was talking about. "From that place…Pepe's or Poncho's or something like that."
He didn't have a clue as to what place she was talking about, "Liv…you don't even remember the name of the restaurant. How the heck am I supposed to find it?"
"It's three blocks down and five blocks over…or something like that. It isn't that far…and they have the best tacos." She gave him a playful smile. "Please…"
He nodded, "Okay…I'll hunt the place down. Anything else you want while I'm out?"
"Just make sure to ask them for extra hot salsa and see if they'll cut up some jalapeños in the meat," she stood up and bent over the tub, picking Noah up and wrapping him in a towel.
"Liv…are you sure you want that? It sounds awfully spicy," he questioned. "You've been really sick…"
"The baby really wants those tacos, El," she looked so serious he almost laughed, "Trust me."
"Okay…" he leaned over and kissed her softly on the head. "If I'm not back in an hour, send out a search party. I may never find this place."
Elliot left and she picked up Noah, dressing him in his pajamas and taking him to his bedroom. She sat with him in the rocking chair, even though he didn't really need to be rocked to sleep anymore and held him close to her. "Mommy loves you baby boy," she kissed him softly. "I can't believe how fast you're growing up." She glanced at the crib, and smiled when she saw Elliot had lowered the mattress. "Guess what?" she smiled, "You're gonna be a big brother," she whispered to the baby, and even though she knew he didn't understand she felt like it was a special moment telling him. "You're getting a little sister, Noah…and she's going to love you so much. And you're gonna take good care of her, I know you will." The baby had drifted off and Olivia watched him sleeping in her arms. "I promise…I'm going to do the right thing for you and your sister," she whispered. She just wished she knew what the right thing was. She needed to talk to Elliot…really sit and talk. She couldn't be afraid of getting hurt anymore. She had to tell him how she felt, how she really felt about everything…and she had to make him be completely open and honest with her. They owed each other that much. She took Noah to the crib, laying him down carefully. She stood there watching him sleep, putting her hand gently on slight swell her stomach where her daughter was growing, and she knew she had never felt so much love in her life. "We're gonna be okay," she promised, more to herself than to her children. "We're gonna be just fine."