"Dad…where are the stockings?" Elizabeth asked. She looked at Noah, snuggled in Olivia's arms and Kate who had curled up in her grandfather's lap and smiled, "We need to hang them up so the little ones can go to bed."

"Maybe they're still in the attic," Elliot started to move Kate off his lap, but Maureen stopped him.

"I'll go look," she offered, and then headed toward the stairs.

"Noah's stocking is in the car," Olivia added, dreading going out in the slippery snow to retrieve it.

"I can go get it," Richard offered, "Do you want me to get anything else?"

"Uhm…I have a lot of things out there," she said, wondering if he'd realize from the amount of things in the car that she had planned all along to stay for the whole holiday.

"Like p-r-e-s-e-n-t-s?" he asked with a wink.

"Presents?" Eli asked with excited eagerness.

Olivia laughed, "There might be one or two for you Smarty Pants," she tossled his blonde hair. Then she leaned over and whispered to Richard, "Could you leave Noah's out on the porch. I'll bring them in after he goes to bed. I don't want him to see them until morning." She knew he was still too little to really understand, but she'd waited years to play Santa Claus and she wasn't going to lose her first chance.

"Sure," he smiled. Then he put on his coat and went out to get her things.

Maureen came down with a box and Kathy dug through it, pulling out the stockings. They were all the same, a deep red with gold embroidered names down the side. "Those are beautiful," Olivia said, admiring them.

"Mom made them," Elizabeth smiled.

"Wow…you have real talent," Olivia looked at Kathy and smiled. "I bought Noah's at Walgreens on my way home from work yesterday," she laughed.

"Well, I had a lot more time on my hands when my kids were little," Kathy reminded her. She pulled out a stocking and stared at it, running her fingers longingly over the name and Olivia knew without looking that it belonged to Kathleen. They still kept her stocking in the box, even though this wasn't their first Christmas without her. Olivia held her son closer to her, praying she'd never have to know what it felt like to celebrate a holiday without her child.

"Here's your stuff," Richard came in the door, putting Olivia's suitcase by the door and holding out Noah's stocking. It was blue with a glittery white snowman on the front. He walked over to her, brushing the snow off his coat and leaned in to whisper, "Everything else is on the porch. I can bring it in after the kids go to bed if you want."

"Thanks Dickie…Richard," she sighed.

They hung the stockings and Maureen insisted she was too old for hers, but Kathy and Elliot both argued with her that she should hang it anyway. Olivia smiled, realizing that this woman she trusted with her son's well-being everyday was still a little girl in her parents' eyes even though she was a mother herself. No one had ever treated her like a little girl, even when she was one, and she couldn't imagine what it must feel like to have someone love you that much. She was going to love her kids that way…she already did.

"We have to get Santa's cookies," Eli was bouncing up and down, full of more energy than any child should have that late at night. He grabbed Olivia's hand, "Come help me pick some!" Olivia was tired just watching him…but she sat Noah on the couch next to Elliot and Kate, and followed Eli into the kitchen, finding a plate and letting him choose a few cookies to leave for Santa and one to eat himself. She wondered if anyone would care if she ate Santa's cookies after the kids were asleep. They looked delicious and she was starving. If she was supposed to make them believe she was just putting on weight, she ought to at least be able to eat.

"I think it's time for bed," Elliot said as he watched his son put the cookies on the table and look out the window for the hundredth time.

"I want a story," Eli gave a fake whine, letting them know he wasn't going to go to sleep anytime soon.

"You know," Kathy smiled. "I think Paul would love to read you a story." She glanced at her husband who nodded. Then she picked up Kate from Elliot's lap, "Olivia and I will go put the babies to bed."

"Mom…I can do that," Maureen started to take her daughter, but Kathy stopped her.

"No…I think your dad wants to talk to all of you," she smiled. Then she watched as Paul took Eli upstairs and smiled at Olivia, "Come on…I think Noah can sleep in Kate's room tonight."

Olivia picked up her son, who was rubbing his eyes and starting to fuss. He was overly tired and she knew it would take time to get him to fall asleep. She wasn't looking forward to trying to get him to sleep in a strange place under Kathy's watchful eye. Kathy had been nothing but nice to her, and yet she felt inferior to her. Kathy was a more experienced mother than she was…a better mother maybe…she didn't want to feel judged. She followed Kathy upstairs and wished she had told Elliot she didn't want to spend Christmas in Queens. As much as she loved seeing the kids again, this wasn't the holiday she had imagined. She didn't know what she'd thought would happen, but for one thing she was tired and her pants were digging into her skin and she was tired of pretending she was just chubby, as Elliot had so eloquently put it. It was her first family Christmas, and yet she didn't really feel like she was part of the family. She was still an outsider looking in and it hurt…and she wasn't even sure why.

Elliot's talk with the kids will be up next. Sorry I didn't get to it today. More soon!