A few hours later, after they'd divided their food supplies, Sabo was curled up in what had become their sleeping quarters. His legs were bent beneath him, and he idly went over letters in the dim streetlight, trying to figure out another way to teach Luffy the alphabet. Footsteps, quiet against the wood, were what roused him from his thoughts. Sabo looked up to see Ace framed by the broken window, shadows highlighting his collarbone and smoothing the harsh edges of his body.

With another few steps, Ace had kneeled down next to Sabo, letting his legs collapse beneath him. "Can I borrow this?" he asked, tapping the book cover and Sabo stared for a second.

"Sure," he agreed as soon as he'd regained his senses, and handed the book over easily. "Mind if I ask why?"

Ace paused for a moment, fingers wrapped around the cover, but then flashed Sabo a grin, teeth gleaming yellow in the streetlight. "Because I want your attention on me."

Sabo felt his heart leap in his chest, tight and fast, and quickly turned his attention to the window and the city he could see outside. He couldn't get his stupid heart to stop thumping, no matter how many angry words he directed its way.

"Wow, narcissistic much," he joked weakly, but saw Ace narrow his eyes and move until they were face to face again.

"I mean it, Sabo." Ace said, and Sabo had to swallow back his beating heart. He could feel Ace's fingertips as they pressed to his cheek, the warmth of Ace's palm cupping his chin, and had to swallow again, knowing Ace could likely feel his thundering pulse.

Hot air brushed his lips as Ace regarded him, the glimmer of his eyes and the gold of his eyelashes all Sabo could see. "Ace-," he said, the sound half-formed, and saw Ace's eyes vanish behind his eyelids as he leaned forwards, cutting the distance between them in half until their noses brushed. "Ace, don't!" he exclaimed, finally breaking the spell of silence that had captured him, and saw Ace jump, pulling away.

The sudden cold where Ace's hand had been before made Sabo long for it to return, but he knew that as much as he wanted to press forwards and continue what Ace had been about to do, he couldn't.

He was lying to them.

He was lying to Ace!

Lying to him about so many things – about what Sabo had done, where he'd come from, he was lying to Ace and Luffy about everything.

Would Ace even like him if Sabo told him where he'd originally come from? Maybe Luffy wouldn't care, but Sabo had heard enough on Ace's opinions about nobles to last a lifetime, and all of them had been negative. How would Ace react if he learnt that he'd been harbouring one for the past few months? How would he react to knowing that Sabo had been lying to him?

Sabo didn't want Ace to think he'd been leading him on, and if Ace kissed him and later found out Sabo was a noble then he knew that'd be what Ace thought.

And Sabo-

God, he couldn't stand that prospect. Even the mere thought of Ace detesting him, detesting the noble blood he carried in his veins – it felt as though there was a hole in his chest.

But Sabo couldn't tell them. He couldn't! Not when Ace and Luffy had been the ones to accept him into their little circle, took him in regardless of what power his last name provided.

Ace's confused, heartbroken expression, however, made Sabo want to throw his thoughts out the window, made him want to lean forwards and kiss it away, and it was all he could do to stop himself.

"I-," Ace started, and Sabo pleaded for his voice to work again, for anything to help him fix what he'd inadvertently done, "I'm sorry."

For a brief second, Sabo was witness to the pain on Ace's face, the lights from outside enough to let him see it, but then Ace's expression closed off. His grin looked wobbly, barely reaching his eyes, and Sabo's throat tightened even more.

Though he begged his logical side to let him speak and appease the anguish surging through him, his mind beat it back with thoughts of how angry Ace would be once he found out Sabo was a noble. Even if he tried to explain it, he knew Ace's temper – heightened by betrayal – would never let him get out a full apology. He knew with painful certainty that if he kissed Ace now, Ace would never forgive him for lying and would likely believe everything Sabo had told them to be a lie.

His teeth bit into his cheek, a sharp stab of physical pain to ground himself, and Sabo turned his back on Ace, settling to the floor. He needed the time to lash his emotions down, to steady himself, to ensure he didn't break as he said, "I- it's fine. Goodnight, Ace."

If the words were quieter than he'd wanted, no-one would know but him.

Sabo spent most of the night restless, trying to sleep but unable to forget. No matter how many times he tried to shove the image of Ace leaning in the kiss him out of his head, it seemed determined to replay constantly, keeping him from sleep. It meant in the morning that he was both tired and hungry, and it took more will than he wanted to keep acting normally and say good morning to Ace.

Ace disappeared soon after their meagre breakfast, and Sabo pulled out Luffy's book, intent on teaching him to try and get his mind off yesterday. Luffy seemed to pick up his unease, however, and spent the whole afternoon fidgeting. It didn't help to improve Sabo's mood at all, and Sabo eventually slammed the book shut, making Luffy jump.

"C'mon, let's go visit your friends, huh? I think we both could use a distraction." He gave Luffy a weak grin, but Luffy didn't smile back, his expression serious.

"What'd you do to Ace?" he asked, and Sabo felt his shoulders slump helplessly.

"I didn't do anything," Sabo said, and added to himself, I think that's what the problem is.

"What'd Ace do to you?" Luffy said, switching tactics, and Sabo tilted his head to the ceiling, unable to take Luffy's persistence.

"Nothing," he replied, and Luffy huffed, crossing his arms.

"Then why're you acting like he stuck hornets in your bed and didn't say sorry!"

"What is with that allegory?" Sabo asked, but Luffy only looked even grumpier at Sabo's light-hearted tone, his pout worsening.

"Sabo," he demanded, and Sabo now knew how Ace felt when faced with Luffy's pout. He wanted to look everywhere but at Luffy, head tilted guiltily away from Luffy's pointed look. "Saboooo," Luffy repeated, and Sabo bit his tongue, pursing his lips. Unwittingly, he let his gaze flick to Luffy, and he cursed internally at the sight of Luffy's puppy dog face. He caved soon after with a huffy sigh, trying not to feel bitter about it.

"Ace tried to kiss me yesterday," he admitted, letting his legs drop under him and sitting next to Luffy again.

Luffy looked excited, brightening almost instantly, and said, "Yeah? That's good!"

"We didn't kiss, Luffy."

"Why?" Luffy said, frowning,"You like him, right? People kiss people they like."

"It's complicated."

"Is this about you getting married?" Luffy said, squinting at him, and Sabo felt his mouth drop open, heart stopping in horror.

"Wh-what? Luffy, where'd you hear that?" Sabo laughed awkwardly, trying not to panic. Where could he have gotten an idea like that? Sabo had never mentioned anything like it, he'd made sure of it!

"Vivi told me," Luffy said nonchalantly, and Sabo stared.

"You're- you're friends with Vivi Nefertari?"

Luffy nodded quickly, grinning. "Yeah! She's really pretty, and really nice, and she really likes Nami, but her dad has all these problems with this guy called Crocodile, and I've been trying to sort it out for her, but it's really hard."

Sabo stared, unable to figure out a way to answer that wasn't some useless form of, 'huh?' Luffy waited expectantly for Sabo to regain his voice, but all he could figure out to ask was,

"And- and when did you-? The- the marriage thing?"

"Vivi told me." Luffy answered simply, and as Sabo opened his mouth to demand when? Luffy quickly continued. "Ages ago when we were at that Whitebeard party. She showed up but then she saw you and got worried that you were here to spy on us, to try and stop her from not getting married."

Sabo scoffed, head jolting and then dropping so he could study the floor, "Tell her I ain't interested in getting married either."

"I told her you liked Ace, and then she stopped being so worried!" Luffy replied, grinning and laughing his breathy little laugh, and Sabo covered his face with one hand, unable to stop the rueful grin on his face.

"Wow," he drawled. "Thanks Luffy."

"Everyone can tell," Luffy defended sulkily. "Chopper's the one who told me, and Chopper doesn't notice anything."

Sabo's groan grew slightly louder, and both hands now covered his face. "Freakin' perfect," he mumbled, before peeling his hands away from his face so he could look to Luffy. "Was it that obvious to Ace?"

"Nope." Luffy said, gently rocking back and forth, "He was really worried about it, even though everyone told him it'd be fine."

Great, Sabo thought to himself mockingly, trying to ignore the pang in his chest at the knowledge that Ace had been worried about confessing to him, and then Sabo had gone and completely blown it. His thumbs pressed into his temples as he tried to will away his headache, but it did little good.

He wanted to go back to being friends with Ace, but the weight of carrying around his secret – even though it had lightened now Luffy had confessed he'd known all along and hadn't thought any different of Sabo – felt like it would crush his every attempt. How could he stand calling himself Ace's friend when he couldn't even tell Ace the truth?

Even if-

Even if Ace hated him for it, Sabo still needed to confess the only secret hiding between them. If Ace didn't hate him, then maybe they'd be able to grow closer – but if he did, then Sabo would still at least have Luffy and the rest of the friends he'd made. Some of them would side with Ace, certainly, and he wouldn't blame them, but at least he'd still be able to call these people his family.

He couldn't stand to lose both Luffy and Ace in one swift admittance, but he knew with sudden, startling certainty that Luffy would still call him a friend, and his brother. That was more than enough for Sabo, when he'd thought at first that he'd be surviving alone, and had been hesitant to trust any sort of familial tie at all.

"Do you know where he is?" he asked Luffy, trying to gather up his courage and banish the anxiety churning in his gut as he stood, and Luffy shrugged.

"With Marco?"

Ace wasn't with Marco.

He wasn't with Thatch or Izo or Whitebeard, or even with Shakky or Iva-chan.

Sabo had looked through all their familiar haunts and hadn't seen a single sign of Ace. Even asking people if they'd seen him had led to a dead end, and while it was possible one of them had been lying to him, Sabo didn't want to think on that; because who else would have asked them to lie but Ace?

The last place he had to visit was Rayleigh's ring, but his hopes were low as he slugged through the streets, bypassing people mechanically. If he hadn't found Ace with any of their other friends, then why would he be with Rayleigh?

He pushed open the door of Rayleigh's bar, the low hum of quiet music escaping into the dying afternoon, and stepped inside, immediately scanning the room for the sight of Ace's bright hat.

It hovered near Haruta, who was wiping down the tables and setting out chairs, and Sabo headed for it before nerves could take a hold.

"Ace-," he said, as soon as he got close enough, and watched Ace jump, whirling to face him. Quickly, before Ace could interrupt, he blurted, "I have to tell you something."

Ace frowned, his hand fisting his pocket, but he didn't tell Sabo to leave, instead cautiously saying, "Yeah?"

"I-," Sabo said, before heaving a deep breath and screwing his eyes shut. "I- I'm a noble."

Stunned silence was his reply, and he cautiously squinted through his eyelashes, getting a glimpse of Ace's shocked face. "A- a noble?" Ace parroted, and Sabo nodded, hoping from the bottom of his heart that Ace's surprise would fade and he'd say it doesn't matter. Sabo's hopes were dashed, though, when Ace's eyes slowly narrowed and he asked, "So, all those times you told us about you living on the streets like us- that was-"

Sabo's gaze flicked to the floor, hot shame surging through him. "I never- I never meant for it to get this far-"

"This far?" Ace said, his voice slowly rising, "So- what? Your plan was to mess around with two brats on the street?"

"What? No!"

"You think I'm stupid?" Ace hissed, his hands clenched in fists. "I knew something about you didn't add up! I should've known you were lying!"

"Look, Ace I'm sorry I didn't tell you, okay! I was just-"

"Just what? Having a laugh at the stupid street rats and their make-believe brotherhood?"

"Stop it Ace! I wanted to tell you-"

"So why didn't you?"

"I was afraid!"

"That's not an excuse!"

"So you weren't afraid when you tried to kiss me!?"

"I never would have tried if I'd known what you were!"

Sabo recoiled, blood running cold, and though he could see Ace flinch, teeth clenched, he couldn't help the sick twist in his stomach. "Sorry I disgust you so much," he spat, and watched as Ace opened his mouth before biting back what he wanted to say.

You knew this would happen, he tried to tell himself, like that would ever make the ache in his chest go away, but his heart had already climbed from his chest to his throat and left a hollow behind his ribcage. Why would he care after you told him where you were from?

You'd been lying to him this whole time. Why'd you expect him to forgive you so easily?

"I-" Ace started, and Sabo could see his hands twitch into fists. "I don't want you around Luffy anymore."

Sabo pressed his lips together and gave a shaky nod, focussing on the ground near Ace's feet. "I'll-" he croaked hoarsely, before heaving a breath and telling himself to stop being such a weakling, in a voice that sounded so much like his father's he almost flinched. "I'll get my stuff tomorrow, if you take him out then."

Ace's head jerked in a nod, but neither of them moved.

No matter what he wanted to say, he couldn't get his mouth to form another apology, his throat choked with the weight of words unsaid.

"For- for what it's worth," Sabo finally said as he turned away, watching his feet twist the gravel under his shoes and resisting the urge to stop himself; if he was going to leave, then he wanted this to be what he left Ace with. "The only reason- I didn't kiss you was because I was worried you'd hate me after I told you my secret." He scoffed, his head dropping, and grinned mockingly at the ground. "Guess it wouldn't have mattered much anyway."

Every part of his body urged him to run, to pound out the agony of loneliness that permeated his core, but he merely curled his fingers towards his palms and left Rayleigh's bar behind him.

Turn around, his heart begged, but he shoved it to the back of his mind, focusing on the beat of his feet against the pavement.

He'd known Ace would get mad but- but god!

How could he have messed this up so badly? How?

He should've spoken up, told Ace where he could stuff his order to stay away from Luffy, but instead he'd folded like a piece of wet paper, unable to take the painful loss of his hope as every word Ace said ripped it away.

Preoccupied by his thoughts, he didn't realise a second pair of footsteps had joined his until a voice spoke up from behind him.

"Hey, Outlook," someone said, and Sabo felt a flash of fear override his melancholy, rushing through his body. On instinct he turned his head, trying to find out who'd said the name he so despised and why they'd said it to him, but hands wrapping around his forearms and shoulders stopped him. Panic surged in his chest, unstoppable, and he futilely tried to yank his arms out of their grip.

"Sabo," came someone's familiar voice, and he froze, all fight fleeing him. His stomach knotted, and he tore his eyes away from the men who had grabbed him to his father, standing across from him, a sneer on his face. "What were you even doing down here, Sabo?"

No, he couldn't help but think, watching his father's lips continue to move, but the sound drifted through his ears like he was underwater, the words landing on his chest like weights. His father began to walk, sharp wrist twisted in a dismissive movement that made Sabo's stomach clench.

No! he thought as hands shoved him forwards, but inbuilt fear prevented him from fighting back, and his father's nails fastened around his shoulder, digging into the skin next to his spine.

"It's time to go home, Sabo," his father said, lips stretched in a thin smile.

That place had never been home.

Luffy tore through Rayleigh's bar like a hurricane, his hair wild and eyes panicked. "Someone took Sabo!" he shouted to the almost empty bar, and Haruta's head snapped from the counter.

"What?" Haruta asked, before demanding, "Luffy, why didn't you do something?"

"I tried!" he said, lower lip quivering, "but I didn't realise it was Sabo until they shoved him in the car and then I tried to run after it but they wouldn't stop and- and-"

He heaved in a desperate breath, the sound of it hitching in his throat, and Haruta quickly jumped the counter, casting a brief, confused glance at Ace. "It's alright," they soothed, enfolding Luffy's shaking body in a hug, "we'll get him back, Luffy."

"He wanted to go." Ace mumbled, hand tightening around his glass.

"What?" Luffy asked, frowning at him, and Ace tore his gaze off the bar to glare.

"Sabo," Ace clarified. "He wanted to go."

Luffy pulled himself from Haruta's grasp, and in two quick steps stood across from Ace and reeled back to punch him in the chest.

Haruta gasped, hands flying to their face as Ace let out a surprised yelp and was sent sprawling. "You told him to leave, didn't you?" Luffy demanded, lips bared in a snarl, and Ace wiped alcohol off his mouth with a vicious swipe.

"So what if I did?" he said, and Luffy's growl resounded in his throat, making Ace add, "He was lying to us!"

"He was lonely!" Luffy cried, torn between anger and tears, "And we're his brothers!"

"Are you sure?" Ace demanded, "Brothers wouldn't li-"

"Stop being stupid! How many times did you lie to me as a kid!? You'd say you ate when you didn't, you'd lie about your bruises, you've lied to me about a hundred things! And don't you dare tell me it's different. You wanted to protect yourself from me, he wanted to protect himself from us!"

"Why would he need to?" Ace said, his anger slowly falling from his tone, "Why couldn't he just tell us?"

"Look how well that went," Luffy scoffed, and the full realization finally seemed to hit Ace, making him flinch.

"Where is he?" Ace said, climbing off the floor, but Luffy only shook his head, admitting helplessly,

"I don't know."