A/N:
Yay. Chapter 4.
We're nearly at the end, which is kinda sad.
But anyway...Chapter 4.
The third time that it happened was the last.
Preston Winters looked down at his phone. It was resting on the oak coffee table that sat in the middle of his living room, in his house in Vermont. It had been 8 months since he had left Macey, and since he had last seen Cammie, and since he had been punched by Zach. He wasn't sure why he had come here. But he liked it. He liked Vermont, and he liked his house.
Another message popped up on the screen of his phone. That was 1 missed call and 2 messages now. He hadn't heard from anybody since he had come here, so he wasn't sure who would be contacting him now,especially at 10:30pm. He was just going to ignore it. Dismiss it as a wrong number. But a missed call and two text messages were not from a wrong number. So he unlocked his phone, and found that they were from Cammie.
The first message read "This is weird...I haven't heard from you in nearly 8 months...I don't know where you are or why you aren't answering your phone. Maybe you've got a new one, or maybe you're dead."
The second message was shorter "Please don't be dead."
Preston allowed himself to laugh a little. It wasn't actually funny, because he knew that Cammie was probably going out of her mind with worry about where he was and how he was. Or maybe she wasn't, and his ego was just must larger than he thought. He didn't want to call her back. He wanted to talk to her, but god it was going to be awkward. Really awkward. And Preston had had enough awkward in his life to last him forever. But he didn't want to be ignorant either. Because he wasn't an ignorant person.
He was a kind person. A caring, compassionate, not-at-all-self-centered person. He thought of others before he thought of himself and despite what it may have seemed like, he did things with other people in mind. He always thought of other people's feelings, and it didn't always come across that way. And because of this he sighed deeply, picked up his phone and called her back.
She picked up on the first ring.
"You're not dead." She breathed, and it almost sounded like a sigh of relief.
"No...No I'm not. Are you okay?"
"Yeah...Yeah I mean...I just..."
"Cam, I know you. I know you well. And I know that when I ask you if you're okay, and you reply like that then you are absolutely not okay."
"I... Where are you?"
"Where are you?"
"I asked you first."
"Vermont."
"Vermont? Oh god."
"What's wrong with Vermont?"
"Nothing's wrong with Vermont, it's just..."
"Is she here?"
"She was...But I've been driving around for hours trying to find her because she's not where she normally is and..."
"Wait, you're in Vermont too?"
"I needed to see her today and I can't find her and Preston I don't know what to do."
"You want me to call her for you?"
"No..No! You can't call her.
"I know...I just thought..."
"I know. But Preston it's almost midnight and I have to find her..."
"Can't you find her tomorrow?"
"No, it has to be today. I have to find her and I just..." Cammie was getting more and more worked up now.
"Cam, listen. You just need to calm down. Where exactly are you?"
"I don't know...I don't...there's church. First Congregational Church or something..I don't know."
"Park up outside and wait in your car. It's just a few streets away from me, and I'll be there in a minute."
"No...It's okay Preston.."
"I'll see you in a minute." He said, ending the call and pulling on his jacket. He turned the lights off, grabbed his keys and was out the door in less than 30 seconds. He considered taking his car, but figured that Cammie would be in no fit state to drive her own, so he decided against it and started to run.
It took him just under five minutes to get there, and he spotted Cammie's car straight away. He ran over to where she was parked, and got into the passenger seat.
"You ran here?"
"Indeed I did." Preston replied, slightly breathless from how fast he had run.
It was silent for a minute. Two minutes. Three. Neither of them could decide if it was awkward or not. Neither of them cared.
"You didn't have to come here..."
"I did, Cam. Now get out of the car, let me drive back to mine."
"I can drive."
"I know you can, that's the point of the driving test. But I'm not letting you drive. So get out of the car, and switch seats."
Cammie could've protested, but she didn't. So she got out of the car and switched seats with Preston.
For the whole car ride back to Preston's house, both of them were silent. It wasn't exactly an awkward atmosphere, but it wasn't comfortable. It didn't take long, because he lived so close, but it felt like a lot longer than it was.
They pulled up in the driveway and walked towards the house.
"Jeez. Nice house." Cammie said to herself, but Preston heard it and laughed a little.
"It is rather. Kinda why I bought it to be honest."
"That, and you needed to get away."
"That's true." He said, turning the key in the lock and walking inside with Cammie just behind him.
He turned the lights on and shut the door behind them.
"You want a drink or something?" Preston asked, as Cammie stood there looking around awkwardly.
"Okay." She replied, shrugging her shoulders.
Preston nodded, and walked into the kitchen. Two minutes later he emerged with a glass of water for Cammie.
"Thanks." She smiled slightly, accepting the glass.
"No problem." He replied.
"What...what time is it?" She asked.
"Erm...Eleven."
"Shit." She cursed loudly and the glass that she was holding hit the floor with a crash. It was silent for a minute, as Cammie processed what'd happened. "I'm sorry...I... I didn't mean to...I just..."
"Cam.."
"It's nearly midnight and I have to find her but..."
"Cammie."
"God I'm such an idiot I should've just gone home...But I need to find her because..."
"Cammie!" Preston had raised his voice, which Cammie wasn't used to. And then, without another word she burst into tears and dropped to the floor in the same way that the glass had before her. She was shaking, and she couldn't breathe. She couldn't think and she couldn't remember how to string a sentence together.
Preston sat down beside her, and took hold of her hand. "Hey, it's okay."
Cammie didn't respond. She just shook her head.
"Cam. Listen. You just need to breathe, okay? Just concentrate, focus on me and breathe." He reassured, but Cammie's breathing was still erratic. He had hold of both of her hands now, and they were closer than they had been in a long time.
"I can't...Pres, I can't..." She managed to whisper between breaths.
"You can, Cammie. Just follow my breathing, okay?"
She nodded, and tried her best to copy Preston's breathing pattern. She kept hold of his hands with a tight grip, but he didn't seem to mind. When her breathing finally slowed down to a relatively normal speed, she fell forward straight into Preston's arms.
"Hey, hey it's okay." He hugged her, and even though she was still extremely tense he felt her relax a bit.
"I'm really sorry." She mumbled.
"No. No you don't need to be."
"I do...I just..."
"Cammie, please. Calm down, breathe and then we'll talk." He said and Cammie nodded. "Go sit on the couch, let me clear this up. Okay?"
"Okay." She replied, and Preston was sure he saw a faint smile. It wasn't the highest thing on his list of priorities at that moment in time. But he cleared up the water and the broken glass, and went and sat down next to Cammie on the couch.
"Now, come on. Talk."
"Where'd you want me to start?" She sighed.
"The beginning is usually a good place."
"I came to Vermont to see Macey."
"Right, got that. Why?"
"Why what?"
"Why did you need to see Macey so badly? That's why you're here, and that's why you wanted to know what time it was."
"It's...it's erm..."
"Cam, you know you can tell me. It's alright."
"It's the anniversary...of my dad's death.."
"Oh Cam." Preston pulled her into another hug.
"It's alright. It's just the girls are usually with me on this day and the only person in the country was Macey. Or at least I thought she was. Bex is in England, Liz is with her because she needed some weird technological help on something or other. Mom's away with Joe, and Abby's AWOL as usual. Whenever this usually happens, Macey is normally there for me and I couldn't find her and..."
"And that's why you had the panic attack."
"Yeah.. Thank you, for helping to calm me down. I haven't...It's been a while since my last one and..."
"Macey used to get them. Bad. Sometimes I'd wake up in the middle of the night and she'd be sitting there, hyperventilating and curled up in a ball of tears."
"She still gets like that."
"What?"
"You said 'used to'...She still gets them, Preston. Except now she doesn't have anyone there to calm her down. She has to help herself."
"So you've spoken to her?"
"After you left, and after everything with Zach, I got a phone call from Liz. She sounded so scared that I was worried about her for a minute, until she explained to me that she'd had to break into Macey's apartment because she wasn't answering the door. Liz called me and Bex and told us to come as quick as we could. We got there and...I don't even know why I'm telling you this because she told me not to tell you. My point is, she still gets the panic attacks. Don't think it was just for your sake."
"You should call her, see where she is."
"I've tried. That's why I ended up calling you. I...I just needed to talk to somebody that I trust, and I trust you Preston."
"I'm sorry I just, you know, left. After I ended up telling Zach, I felt so shitty and looking back on it I really should've talked it through with you first."
"It's okay. I get why you left. God, if I could've I would've run away too."
"How are things with you and Zach now?"
"Next question." Cammie laughed off, but Preston could tell that she really did not want to talk about Zach.
"How are you feeling now?"
"Crappy. I just...I need today to be over already."
"Well, you've got 5 minutes."
"And I'm kinda pissed at Macey if I'm honest."
"That's understandable. She probably has a reason though. She values you more than you realise."
"I know. I just really hope it's a decent reason. I'm not gonna throw our friendship away over it or anything."
"No, but you have every right to be annoyed."
There was a little bit of a silence, as Cammie stared around the room and thought of whether she should speak or not.
"I miss him, Pres...I miss my dad." She meant to say it louder than she did. It came out as more of a whisper, but her voice cracked as the words escaped her mouth and she started to cry again.
"I know, Cam, I know." He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her closer to him.
"I just...When we were still in school, it wasn't as bad because I was still fighting to take the Circle down and to keep myself alive and just...since then it's so much harder. I know he didn't die for nothing, but I miss him."
"It's okay."
"I'm being pathetic, but..."
"Hey, look at me. You're not being pathetic. You're allowed to be upset, he was your dad and you loved him. They always tell you that it'll get easier, but it never does. I know that, I really do. You miss him everyday, and when it comes to things like his birthday or the anniversary of his death then it just gets too much, right?"
Cammie didn't speak, she just nodded her head.
"My dad was a bad guy. A really, really bad guy. But he was a good father, and that's what I miss. And that's hard enough for me. So it must be a hell of a lot worse since your dad was a good guy."
"It's not something I can usually talk about...they listen to me but they don't really understand."
"I know. But you can talk to me, you know that."
"Yeah, I do."
They hadn't been this close for 8 months. Both physically and emotionally. And it was strange, but familiar. And they were too sensitive today, so really it was inevitable. So when Cammie sat up and kissed Preston, he didn't move away. And when Preston kissed back, Cammie wasn't surprised.
The only thing audible in the whole house was the sounds of their uneven breathing, and the kisses. It almost felt desperate, because that's exactly what it was. Loneliness was another thing that that had in common, but it was something they never discussed. They both knew that it was wrong, they both knew that there would be consequences to this. But in that moment they had to ignore it. They ignored everything apart from each other. All Cammie could think about was Preston, and all Preston could think about was Cammie. And that was that.
The next morning, Preston woke up to the sound of talking coming from downstairs.
"It's fine, I get it. It's not a problem Macey." Cammie spoke into her phone.
"No, Cam. I'm really sorry. I should've called and let you know that I was coming to see you, instead of the other way round."
"Macey, it's fine."
"I'm gonna make this up to you, okay? I promise. God I'm such a shit person."
"No you're not, it was just a misunderstanding."
"Well this teaches us to actually make proper plans instead of just guessing."
"Yeah, it does." Cammie replied, laughing a little.
"Where did you end up staying anyway?"
She hesitated for a moment. "Oh, erm...I slept in my car."
"Oh god now I feel even worse. I'm so sorry Cammie."
"Macey, stop apologising."
"I feel bad though! Look, I gotta go. But I'll call you when I get back to Vermont. Stay in your car, or go do some shopping or something. Just don't leave, I'll see you when I get there. Okay?"
"Alright."
"Bye Cam." Macey finished, and Cammie ended the call. When she turned around, she saw Preston standing at the bottom of the staircase.
"She have an excuse then?" Preston asked.
"It was just miscommunication."
"Right."
"About last night..." Cammie trailed off.
"If this is the usual 'it was a mistake, we're not telling anyone' kinda speech then yeah, I got it."
"No. I was going to say thank you, for everything that happened before that did."
"But I'm gonna get the speech, aren't I?"
"No. Because I don't think I need to say it again."
"Cam, we can't keep doing this."
"I know."
"This can't keep happening, and we can't keep denying it either."
"I know that, Preston. But..."
"But what?"
"I don't even know what this is. You still love Macey, and I still love Zach. So I don't understand...I don't understand this."
"I think, what this is, is that things keep going wrong for us and when the people we love the most aren't there to support us, or if they're actually the problem, then we need somebody else to turn to."
"And by 'turn to' you mean 'sleep with'."
"That wasn't what I meant, Cammie."
"But that's what's happening, Preston. I can't lie to my best friend again, I can't tell her that I slept in my car all night when, in fact, I slept in her ex-boyfriend's bed. She doesn't even know that you're here."
"I won't be here much longer. I'm moving back to DC in 2 months."
"Are you ever planning on talking to her again?"
"Why does this always turn into a conversation about Macey?"
"Preston, I don't want you to confuse this...whatever it is...for you having feelings for me. Because you don't. You know that. And you know that you love Macey."
"I know. And you love Zach. We've been through this."
"I don't want to argue, and I don't want this to be awkward."
"We're not arguing, and it won't be awkward. No feelings, remember?"
"I should be going, I need to go and stay gone from here. Macey's coming home today, and she want's me to meet her."
"You can stay here for a bit."
"It's cool, I'll go find a hotel or something and I'll get a room."
"You don't have to do that."
"Preston, I can't exactly go and meet Macey straight after leaving your house and still smelling of your cologne. She'll know, and it's not a conversation I'm willing to have with her. Ever."
"So we're not telling Macey?"
"You have to ask? No, we're not telling Macey. And we're not telling Zach, you think you can deal with that?"
"I think so." Preston smiled, and even laughed a little.
"Thank you for everything Preston, really. Thank you." She smiled.
And then she was gone.
A/N:
It's so dramatic it gives me a stress-headache.
Sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes or just random typos (because they happen a lot too.)
And thank you for reading x