Thanks again for the reviews. Much appreciated! I am finally finishing up Christmas...enjoy!
Standing in front of Elliot's dresser, Olivia looked at herself in the old chipped mirror. Apparently in the Stabler house they dressed up a little for Christmas dinner and once they'd finished their movie everyone had gone to their rooms to get dressed. Elliot had already put on his dress slacks and tie and had volunteered to dress Noah in his new little sweater vest that Olivia had bought to take pictures that she'd never had time to do. She thought it was kind of ridiculous to dress her son up in an adorable outfit for dinner, since he'd probably just make a mess, but she didn't want to argue with tradition. They'd already changed their holiday movie for her so she didn't want to push her luck.
She turned to the side, looking at her profile in the mirror and running her hand over the swell of her stomach. She really wasn't all that big yet, even though she kept saying she felt huge, but since none of her clothes fit she was glad Elliot had bought her a maternity outfit for Christmas. She wasn't sure what he'd get her and she'd had trouble deciding on something for him as well, finally choosing a wallet since she'd heard him complaining that his was falling apart. She couldn't help but notice he had tossed it aside with all the other Christmas gifts, and she wondered if he would have rather had something else. She picked up the black leggings and slipped them on and then pulled the deep purple tunic over her head. She smoothed out the fabric, noticing that the loose fit did a good job of camouflaging her pregnancy, but when she looked in the mirror she didn't like how it clung to her chest and that it was more low-cut than anything she could wear now. She'd never cared much before about showing her cleavage and she'd used it to her advantage at times as well, but now all she wanted to do was cover herself up.
She ran her fingers over the scars, looking at each one and contemplating why she hadn't had the plastic surgery when they'd offered it to her. She hadn't wanted to spend even one more second in the hospital and she'd convinced herself she could live with scars no one would ever see, but now she wondered what Elliot thought when they were making love and if he was disgusted to look at her. He'd never said a word about them…not once…but that was just his way of protecting her and she knew it.
There was a quick knock at the door and before she could respond Maureen pushed it open, "Olivia…Dad wants to know if you're ready yet?" She noticed Olivia's fingers, stroking the scars and she gasped instinctively. "I'm sorry…I shouldn't have just walked in…"
"It's okay," Olivia forced a smile. She knew she couldn't hide her body forever no matter how hard she tried. "Just let me find something else to wear and I'll be down."
"I think you look pretty," Maureen said seriously. "Dad really wanted to get you that. He took me with him," she laughed, "And he was determined to get you something purple and a little sexy. He says purple is your best color."
"Well there is nothing sexy about this," Olivia sighed. "And I like purple, but I can't wear this…"
"You could put a tank top under it," Maureen suggested.
Olivia shrugged, "I could…if I had brought one with me. I'll just wear something else."
"I have one you can borrow," Maureen offered. "It's comfy…I used to wear it when I was pregnant with Kate." She ran out of the room and returned with it a few minutes later. "This'll work. I know it will."
Olivia took it from her and turned her back to her, not wanting her to see any more than she had already. She pulled off the shirt and pulled on the tank top. Maureen was right, it was comfortable and it came up high enough to cover her scars. When she pulled the silky tunic back down over it, it looked much better and she was grateful she didn't have to try to squeeze into something else. "Thanks," she smiled. Then she brushed her fingers through her hair, swiped some blush across her cheeks, and sprayed a light mist of perfume behind her ears.
"Olivia…" Maureen said softly. "I'm really glad you and Dad are together. I want you to know that. He's been so happy lately…I wasn't sure he was ever going to be happy again." She knew she was about to get extremely personal, but she felt like it needed to be said. "The scars don't bother him…he loves you."
Olivia looked at her and nodded, "I know…" she smiled weakly. "Let's go eat dinner."
Everyone was seated around the table and it was much quieter than breakfast. Olivia took her place next to Elliot and reached for Noah who was sitting on Elizabeth's lap. "No, I'll hold him," Elizabeth offered. "I just love spending time with him." She smiled.
"Are you sure?" Olivia asked. "He's going to make a mess. I don't want him to ruin your dress."
"It's fine, Olivia," she assured her. "Really."
Before she could reply, everyone grabbed the hand of the person next to them and Elliot said a prayer and she wasn't sure why but she was surprised. She shouldn't have been. She knew his faith had always been important to him, but she didn't consider herself religious in any way and she suddenly became aware of the fact that this was something she needed to become accustomed to. When the prayer ended, Elliot looked at her and smiled, "The kids worked hard on this meal. They each made one dish. We started that a couple of years ago." He laughed. "Because when they do all the work, I don't have to do any."
She laughed, "Well it all looks delicious." She realized she had done little more than pick at food all day and she was starving. The glazed ham, crisp green beans, and cheesy potato casserole looked heavenly as she piled them on her plate.
"I made the rolls," Eli grinned. "All by myself."
"You opened the bag and put them on the cookie sheet," Elizabeth teased.
"I'm sure they're delicious, Eli," Olivia grabbed one and took a bite. "Amazing rolls," she winked at him and he smiled. She tasted the ham and green beans, "Everything is delicious. You all did a great job." Then she took a bite of the potatoes and looked around the table, "Who made these?" she asked as she took another bite, "Oh my…this is the best thing I've eaten in…I don't even know how long. I'm going to be craving these forever…" She took another bite, savoring the flavor. "I have to know how to make these or the cravings will drive me nuts."
"Yes!" Richard cheered. "I win! Our baby sister likes my potatoes the best," he joked. Everyone looked at him, "What?" he asked.
"What are you talking about? We don't have a baby sister," Eli looked confused and Richard realized what he'd done.
Richard looked at his dad and Olivia, "I'm sorry…" he whispered.
"Eli…" Elliot looked at the seven year old and tried to find the right words. "Uhm…you see…Olivia is actually going to have a baby and it's a little girl…"
"Cool," he said, taking a bite of his food. "But that doesn't mean we have a baby sister."
"Well, it does…" Elliot tried to explain, "Because Olivia is her mommy and I'm her daddy. So she's your little sister."
"Oh…" Eli seemed to be thinking the situation over. "When is she going to be here?"
"It's gonna be awhile," Elliot told him. "In June, right before you get out of school for summer."
Eli looked at Olivia, "My friend Sam's mom had a baby a couple of weeks ago. Her stomach was really big. You don't look like you're gonna have a baby."
Olivia smiled, "She hasn't grown a lot yet," she explained. "But she will…and my stomach will get really big too…especially if she makes me crave Richard's potatoes for the next few months," she laughed.
Eli looked seriously at her, "So, does that mean she doesn't like my rolls? I worked really hard on them…"
Olivia smiled, "She loves them too, Eli," she picked up her roll and took a bite. "Trust me…she likes food."
"Dad?" Eli asked. "Does this mean Noah is my little brother too?" he asked.
Elliot looked at Olivia and then at Noah who was sitting in Elizabeth's lap and he nodded, "Yeah…he's your little brother."
Eli grinned, "Good…cause I'd much rather have a brother than a sister anyway." Then he went back to his food as if nothing had changed.
That night, Olivia climbed into bed and Elliot smiled at her, "Is Noah finally asleep?" he asked.
She nodded, "Yeah…he's really having a hard time sleeping in a strange place. I hope he doesn't wake up a lot tonight. I'm so tired…"
"If he does, I can go get him," Elliot offered. "If I don't hear him, just wake me up."
"That's sweet of you," she leaned over and kissed him, "But I feel like he needs me."
"Liv…he wants you, but he's fine with me too," he smiled. "You know that. You need to sleep."
"I don't know if I can," she admitted, thinking back to her nightmare earlier in the day. "It's hard after I have one of those dreams."
He put his arms around her, holding her close, "I'm right here," he promised. "And if you're scared…I'll help you any way I can."
She leaned into him, "Just talk to me," she sighed. "Until I fall asleep."
"Okay," he whispered, placing his hand on her stomach. "What do you think we should name the baby?"
She looked at him and smiled, "I don't know…what do you think?"
He shrugged, "I'm not sure…something that goes well with Stabler…"
"Benson-Stabler," Olivia yawned. "I want my last name to be part of hers…"
"Well…what if your last name was Stabler too?" Elliot asked as he reached into the nightstand drawer and pulled out a small black box.
Olivia sat up, staring at him, "El…" she sputtered as he opened the box and a diamond ring sparkled inside.
"Olivia…will you marry me?" he asked and she stared at him, not saying anything. "I know we've talked about it…but I wanted to make it official…and I thought maybe you'd like this Christmas gift better than maternity clothes," he smiled.
She laughed, "I bought you a wallet."
"I love the wallet," he smiled, "But say 'yes' and that would be the best gift you could give me today."
"Yes," she leaned in and kissed him and he put the ring carefully on her finger. It was a little tight and she sighed, "I think my fingers are a little swollen tonight," but she forced it on and looked at her hand. "This is beautiful…"
"I hoped you'd like it," he took her hand in his and admired how the ring looked on her finger. "But if it's too tight right now, you can put it on your necklace," he smiled at the pendant she was wearing around her neck.
"I'm going to leave it on for now," she said. "But when the swelling starts to get worse, I may have to do that."
"We don't have to get married right away," he said. "Unless you want to…I just wanted you to know that you are one of the Stabler clan now, Liv."
She lay her head on his chest, rubbing her fingers up and down his arm, "I'm glad. I've never met a clan I wanted to be part of more than this one," she smiled. "But…I think I might keep my last name…it's who I am and I don't know if I can just change that now…"
He nodded, "That's up to you," he bent his face down to hers, kissing her deeply, almost out of breath as he pulled away from her lips. "What do you say we celebrate our engagement?" he teased. "If you're not too tired."
"Your kids are down the hall," she reminded him.
"The door has a lock," he laughed. He stood up to lock the door and he heard the familiar cries down the hall, closing his eyes in defeat. "Noah's awake…" he sighed.
"I'm sorry," Olivia sighed. "I'll go try to get him back to sleep…"
"I'll go get him," Elliot opened the door. "I think we should just keep him in here with us…otherwise you won't get any sleep tonight."
"Are you sure?" she asked. "I don't want to ruin our engagement night."
He smiled, "Our son is more important," he said gently. He walked out the door and she leaned back in bed, tears stinging her eyes as she thought about his words; our son is more important… He walked in the room, Noah cradled in his arms and put the little boy in bed between them. "It's okay buddy," he patted the crying baby. "Go to sleep now." It took a while, but finally Noah's cries had stopped and his chest rose and fell with deep sleep. "Do you want me to put him back in Kate's room?" Elliot whispered, careful not to wake him up. "Then we can resume our celebration…" but when he leaned over to look at Olivia he realized she was sound asleep too. Her nose had been stuffy lately, and she started to snore with each breath, and he laughed knowing she'd be irritated if she knew, but he thought it was cute. He just hoped her snoring wouldn't wake up Noah. He reached over, turning off the lamp and smiled, "Good night," he whispered.