Olivia walked into the ICU waiting room, physically drained from her visit with Elliot. She had spent the last hour talking to him, willing herself not to cry, and now her whole body was encompassed with a painful ache of sorrow. She saw Fin, sitting in the corner and he looked at her, standing and rushing to her side, pulling her into a strong embrace and she cried, unable to stop herself. He didn't say anything to her, but just held her and she wasn't sure how long it was before she felt ready to pull away from the hug and face him, but when she did she realized Nick was gone and that was the first thing she asked about. "What happened to Nick?" she sniffled.
"He left here with a couple of officers…said you told him to get some surveillance video from them," he looked seriously at her. "He'll be back in a while."
"Why are you here?" she asked, grateful for his comforting presence but worried that no one was covering the precinct. "Who is back at the station?"
"It's been slow today," he promised. "Rollins is there with some unis…they'll be fine until I get back. Or I can send Nick back to help too. Don't worry about it." He squeezed her hand, "How are you doing?"
Olivia shrugged, "I don't know," she brushed away her tears. "I feel like this isn't really happening…"
"I know," he pulled her over to a chair, motioning for her to sit. Then he placed another chair in front of her, "Put your feet up," he insisted. "You need to rest."
She wanted to argue, but she knew he was right. She was exhausted and her feet and back were killing her. She grabbed her coat, balling it up and putting it behind her back as a makeshift pillow and put her feet up on the extra chair, closing her eyes for a minute. "When do you think Nick will be back with the surveillance footage?" she asked.
Fin sat next to her, "I don't know, but are you sure you really want to see it? I'm not sure it's a good idea."
She opened her eyes and looked at him, "I have to know," she said. "Those cops think Elliot didn't do anything while that guy was shooting up the bank. I can't believe that…"
"Liv, you know things are different now," Fin said gently. "Maybe he just couldn't…"
"No!" she yelled. "Don't tell me that you think he just stood there while some thug tried to kill innocent people…while the guy tried to kill him. He wouldn't do that. He wouldn't leave me or this baby…not if he could prevent it."
"Okay," he knew better than to argue with her. She didn't need the added stress. "How was he doing…when you were in his room?"
Olivia shook her head, "He was…just…there." She looked scared and Fin regretted asking her. "I talked to him, but I don't know if he heard me."
"He did," Fin promised. "I'm sure he did."
Nick walked in the room and they both turned to look at him, "Did you get it?" Olivia jumped to her feet and asked eagerly.
Nick nodded, pulling a disc out of his coat pocket. "They made me a copy, but Liv…I don't think you want to see this. I watched it…and I'm sorry…but…"
"I want to see it," she insisted. "I have to see it for myself."
"I think it's too much for you," Nick argued. "There's nothing on here that's going to convince you they were wrong about what happened…and Liv, it's pretty graphic. I don't think it's a good idea for you to watch it."
"You think I haven't seen things that are graphic?" she sputtered angrily. "You couldn't handle half of the things I've seen, let alone lived through in my life, Nick. So don't stand there and act like you need to protect me from this."
"Liv…maybe you should wait until you've had time to think this through," Fin suggested, knowing she wouldn't listen. "This is all so fresh…give it some time."
"I want to see it," she insisted. "I need to see it." She grabbed the disc from Nick and realized she had no way to play it. "I wonder if there is a computer or a DVD player around here?"
"I have my laptop in the car," Fin said, knowing she wouldn't give up until she found a way to watch the footage. "I'll go get it." He walked out of the room and Olivia looked at Nick.
"Thanks for going to get this," she said, sitting back down and staring intently at the silver disc in her hand. "I know you think I shouldn't watch it…but I just have to."
He sat next to her and nodded, "I know…but promise me you won't let what you see on there get you all upset. You are dealing with enough already. And if it gets to be too much, turn it off."
Fin came back in the room, pulling his small computer out of its case and sitting it on the table. Then he took the disc from Olivia and slid it in the slot. "You're sure about this?" he asked one last time and she nodded. "Okay…" he clicked play and the three of them watched carefully.
The footage was grainy, but it was easy to see what was happening. It started out as a typical bank scene. People moving in and out, Elliot smiling at them and making small talk, opening the doors for them as they left. Olivia couldn't help but smile when she watched him. It was only a few short hours ago, and yet seeing him on the screen like that, all she could think about was how still he had been in the hospital bed. "Is he the only guard there?" she asked, looking to see if anyone else was there to help him.
"I think so," Nick replied. "The cops said they were short staffed at the bank today." He watched her stare longingly at the screen, "You want me to fast forward it a bit? It just kind of goes on and on like this for a while."
Olivia didn't answer, but watched as a little girl on the screen walked up to Elliot and said something to him that she couldn't make out since there was no sound. She had long dark hair and big eyes and looked like she couldn't be more than five years old. Elliot knelt down next to her, and the girl smiled as he pulled a lollipop out of his pocket and handed it to her. She remembered Elliot telling her that when he worked security at the bank he mostly held doors for people and gave candy to little kids. She wished that had been all that had happened today.
"Liv…we should fast forward it," Nick insisted again. "Otherwise you're just gonna be watching everyday banking footage."
She watched as the little girl on the screen hugged Elliot and then skipped off toward the tellers' window, and then she nodded for Nick to push fast forward. He stopped it, and looked toward her, "This is where the guy comes in. He has his gun hidden under his coat…"
Elliot opened the door and the man walked in, and Olivia immediately noticed how man was watching Elliot, trying to sum up how dangerous it might be for him to go ahead with his plan. He obviously didn't see Elliot as much of a threat though because he walked to the window and while she couldn't hear what was said, she knew he had waved his gun at one of the tellers who frighteningly let him behind the counter. She could see Elliot…he was yelling something, probably telling people to get down and the look on his face was one of pure terror. She'd seen that look before, and it made her sick to see it now, knowing what was to come.
"We can stop…" Fin said, noticing she was shaking nervously. "You don't have to watch this…"
"Yes I do," she said tearfully. "I promised Elliot I would prove he did everything he could…"
She noticed the customers, falling to the ground trying to protect themselves while Elliot started to walk toward the gunman, but the man frantically waved his gun in the air, shooting out random shots that thankfully didn't hit anyone. Olivia recognized immediately that the man wasn't experienced with hold-ups and with the gun. This was probably some last minute decision by some guy down on his luck, and it made her cringe to think how quickly things could change. Elliot put his hand down, touching his gun briefly and it looked like the gunman was lowering his gun as well…but he yelled out something and then Elliot raised his hands in the air and looked pleadingly at the man. She wished she could understand what they were saying, or clean up the footage enough to read their lips, but she couldn't. Then she watched as Elliot stopped talking and just stood there, hands in the air while the gunman yelled something at him, and a sharp flash on the screen signaled the gunshot, and she watched as the man she loved jolted back, blood splattering all around him as he fell to the ground. His body was shaking violently and blood pooled around his head.
"El…" she whispered. She felt Fin grab her hand and squeeze it, and even though she was out of breath, feeling like she'd never breathe again, she couldn't turn away from the screen.
The gunman ran across the length of the bank, carrying a bag that probably contained less money than he'd bargained for since he never made it to the safe. As he darted out the door, Olivia couldn't take her eyes off of Elliot's body, noticing the shaking was slowing down and knowing he was dying there on that floor. It was a matter of minutes before first responders showed up, moving customers out of the bank, and carrying Elliot out on a stretcher. She noticed the little girl from earlier…staring as they carried Elliot's body out of the bank and she felt awful that the child had been forced to see that.
She looked up when Nick turned off the computer. "There's nothing else to see," he told her. "They grabbed the footage from the camera a few minutes later. It's just more of the police helping people out of the bank." He sighed, "Are you okay?"
Olivia nodded, "He was reaching for his gun…" she said. "There has to be a reason he didn't grab it. There has to be." She cried. "He could've taken that guy out in one shot."
Fin and Nick looked at each other, both knowing from the footage that she was right. As inexperienced as the gunman seemed with his weapon, someone with Elliot's police training could have taken him out easily, but he hadn't. And Olivia didn't seem ready to face the reality of the situation. "Liv…you know he quit being a cop because he shot that girl," Fin reminded her gently. "Maybe he just couldn't do that again."
"He might die…" her voice shook. "He might not be here to see our daughter. I can't believe he would choose to leave us rather than shoot his gun at some crazed gunman who was shooting at innocent people. I just can't believe he'd choose that."
"Maybe he didn't choose it," Fin said sadly. "Maybe he had no choice…maybe he just couldn't do it."