The April Fools
"I'm bringin' sexy back (yeah), the other boys don't know how ta act (yeah)"
A hand slid out from under the blanket and crept across the floor towards the singing device. It skillfully flipped open the cell phone and hit the OK button before slithering back under the covers.
The body the hand belonged to turned over, sinking deeper into the bed while letting out a groan.
The door creaked open, followed by the sound of heavy footsteps entering the room.
"Sanji, shouldn't you be up?" an annoyed Zoro asked as he took off his sweaty t-shirt and patted himself down with a towel. He had just returned from his morning workout.
Sanji rolled over and glared at his green-headed roommate.
Wait. . .
Sanji blinked a few times. Something wasn't right. He closed one eye and then the other. Zoro just stared at Sanji with an amused look.
As realization set in, a horrified Sanji slowly reached a hand up to the left side of his face.
"Ha, that's a nice look for ya," Zoro smirked as Sanji's hand roamed his face and panic began to set in.
Suddenly, Sanji bolted out of bed to the mirror hanging over their dresser.
"What the HELL happened to my face!?!?!" Sanji screamed, clawing at his left eye where his hair should have been covering it.
"So there was an eye under there," Zoro laughed, throwing his towel over his shoulder.
"SHUT UP!" Sanji yelled, whipping around and jabbing a finger at Zoro, whose amused look never faded.
Someone shuffled by the room and yawned loudly.
"YOU!" Sanji turned his accusing finger towards the person in the hall outside the door.
"Wh-what? Me?" a confused Usopp asked, looking around for the nearest escape route. He didn't even have a chance. Sanji launched himself in a full fledged flying kick directly into Usopp's chest. He yelped in pain as Sanji's bare foot pinned him to the hall floor.
"YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY???" Sanji screamed, pointing dramatically to his exposed left eye.
Usopp tried to suppress a laugh. "I've always wondered what was under there."
"BASTARD! I can't believe you did this! My hair! My beautiful hair! Ruined!"
"W-wait! I didn't do that! I-I don't kn-now what you're talking about!"
"YES YOU DO! I know damn well it's April first!"
"It is?"
"USOPP!!!!!"
CRASH!
A door further down the hall slammed open and angry footsteps thundered towards them.
"Would someone please tell me why my sleep was disturbed?!" an angry Nami ground out.
Usopp and Sanji blanched: Usopp because he was scared; Sanji because his beloved Nami-swan (only clad in a tank top and short gym shorts) was angrily staring at his butchered hair.
"What the . . . ?"
"DON'T LOOK AT ME!" Sanji yelled as he jumped off Usopp and bolted towards the bathroom covering his face.
Eyebrow raised, Nami looked down at Usopp still sprawled on the floor.
"Hey, I didn't do it! I just had to pee!" he squealed in protest.
Nami rolled her eyes and stomped off to her bedroom.
"Well this is interesting," Robin muttered to herself, eyebrow cocked, index finger tapping her chin. "I guess no one is going anywhere today," she called to the others that were gathering in the kitchen for breakfast.
"What? But I made plans with Steph!" Nami cried, rushing over to the key rack next to the garage door. Her jaw dropped. She turned on the others, glaring. "Whoever did this better return my car keys right now."
All the car keys on their key rack had been swapped out for colorful sets of baby keys.
Everyone looked from one to the other, opening and closing mouths, shaking heads, pointing fingers.
Someone then snickered at the breakfast bar. The entire room turned to look at Usopp as he curled into a ball, hand clamped over his mouth.
"Alright, very funny, Usopp," Nami said, holding out her hand. "Now give me my keys so I can get out of here before any other April Fool jokes happen."
"It's April Fool's Day?" Luffy shouted excitedly. "Oh boy! I'd better go get Chopper to start planning some awesome pranks!" He sprang from his perch on the counter and skipped upstairs.
"N-no! I didn't do it!" Usopp protested, crossing his arms indignantly over his chest. "Geeze, first Sanji's hair and now the keys. Tsk, tsk. The Great Usopp wouldn't stoop to such low level pranks! I've got the greatest, awesomest prank planned for today! Oops! I said too much!" Usopp covered his mouth and looked around nervously. Then he skiddered away with his toast and jam.
"Well, the keys have to be somewhere around here. Let's start looking," Robin said, motioning for everyone to begin the search, which everyone did. Soon they were all crawling around on their hands and knees, looking everywhere for those keys.
"Zoro, why aren't you helping?" Nami ordered as she searched the cupboards.
"I don't need to go anywhere today," he shrugged with a bored look and relocated himself and his bowl of cereal to the breakfast bar.
Nami sighed and continued looking.
"~NAMI-SWAAAAAN!~ Breakfast!" Sanji sang, dancing over to Nami with a plate of eggs and bacon.
"Uh, sure, thanks Sanj – WHAT THE HELL IS ON YOUR HEAD?!?!?"
One of Nami's lacy black bras was strapped around Sanji's head, a massive cup covering the entire left side of his face.
His face grew hollow and a shadow seemed to appear over him. "I couldn't cook right with my left eye so exposed."
"SANJI! Gimme that!" she screeched, ripping it off his head. She stomped out of the kitchen and up the stairs, muttering, "Perv!" under her breath.
Franky slammed the door to his Ford Pickup shut and sauntered up the small dirt path to his workshop. This was his private workshop tucked away on a scraggly piece of property in the woods a good half hour drive from his house. Usually he came here alone, to get away from the crazy commotion that was the Strawhat Household. Sometimes he brought his lovely wife, Robin, to . . . well . . . get some alone time. Sometimes he let Usopp tag along since the little bro was studying to be an engineer. He had to blindfold him, though, so he wouldn't blab the location to some of the more obnoxious members in the house. Oh yeah, and once he brought Zoro to help with a large project that required his inhuman strength. But Zoro didn't need to be blindfolded since his sense of direction was so bad, how could he ever remember to get back?
Being April Fool's Day, Franky had no doubt that chaos was ensuing back at home, a perfect day to be scarce. In fact, all of the keys on their key rack had been switched to those plastic baby keys. Well, all except for his, oddly enough. Obviously someone decided it best not to play a prank on the head of the household.
Franky smiled to himself, thinking of his newest project he'd been working on in his spare time for the past six weeks. It was a beautiful, pine porch swing with intricate carvings all over it. An anniversary present for Robin. Hopefully it would last long enough for them to enjoy it. Around their house, anything delicate up to semi-sturdy somehow got destroyed in a matter of minutes.
He unlocked the large, garage like doors and swung them open. A great buzzing sound greeted him and caused his jaw to drop.
Termites were everywhere! And not just your average garden variety termite, they were huge wood eating machines! Half the shop was consumed! Saw dust piles littered the cement floor, all that remained of his beloved projects.
It wasn't long until Franky's shocked expression turned into an expression of rage. He ground his strong jaws together, grunting between clamped teeth, "Usopp."
"CHOPPERCHOPPERCHOPPERCHOPPER!" Luffy called excitedly, bounding upstairs to Chopper's room. He burst through the door yelling, "CHOOOOOPPEEEEEER! GUESS WHAT? IT'S APRIL FOOL'S DAY! . . . Eh? Chopper?"
Chopper, only in his boxers, stood on the oval rug in the center of his room surrounded by piles of girl's clothes.
Luffy's eyes sparkled. "What's this? Are we having a costume party? Oooh! I wanna dress up like a pirate! Shishishishishi! Wait, I mean, Arrrgh!"
But Chopper responded not. He simply stood there, in shock, staring at all the clothes.
"Oh yeah! Chopper! It's April Fool's Day! We need to prank some people!"
Still, Chopper said nothing.
"Woo hoo? Chopper?" Luffy waved his hand in front of Chopper's eyes.
Chopper mechanically turned his head towards Luffy, a blank look on his face.
"M-m-my clothes . . ." he mumbled, twitching with each stutter. "All . . . gone. . . only skirts . . ."
Luffy bent down and picked up one of the mini skirts and stuck his arm in it so he could see through it. "Aren't these Nami's?"
"Yes! Where did you get those?!" Nami suddenly appeared in the doorway, clutching one of her bras.
"Ah!" Chopper jumped upon seeing her. "I-I did-didn't do this! These were all that was in my closet and dresser. . . I can't find my own clothes . . ." He sniffed like he was going to start crying.
"Tee hee hee, Chopper, I didn't know you leaned that way," Usopp snickered from behind Nami.
"I thought you got rid of those clothes after you graduated high school," Zoro said, sauntering into the room.
"I was going to. They were in garbage bags down the basement," she responded, confused.
Zoro merely grunted, shoveling more cereal from the bowl he was holding into his mouth.
"Usopp! Where are my clothes?" Chopper demanded.
"I don't have them! Hahaha! My prank is waaaaaayyyy better than this silly one!"
Nami sighed and grabbed Chopper by the wrist. "C'mon, let's see if we can find your clothes. Everyone's keys are missing too."
"Oi Luffy, where are you going?" Zoro asked as Luffy bounced down the hall towards his and Usopp's room.
"I'm going to dress up like a pirate for the costume party! Yosh! I've always wanted to be a pirate!"
Usopp stopped snickering at Chopper being dragged away by Nami. "Eh? But Luffy, there's no – umfmgh"
Zoro hurridly clamped a hand over Usopp's big mouth. "Let him be," he said low. "He'll be so busy being a pirate, he'll forget all about it being April Fool's Day."
Usopp nodded in understanding, but Zoro didn't let him go. Instead he dragged Usopp toward Luffy who had stopped chattering incessantly about being a pirate to stare at a piece of paper taped to his bedroom door.
"Eh? For me?" Luffy mumbled to himself. He leaned closer to the paper, glaring at it while rubbing his chin.
He reached up and carefully peeled the paper from the door, sniffed it, then unfolded it.
"What does it say?" Usopp whispered, still in a headlock under Zoro's armpit.
Luffy's face contorted several different ways, mostly expressing confusion at whatever was written on the piece of paper.
"Can you read it?" Zoro asked, clearly irritated.
"Hmmm, it says something about someone wanting to meet me in the park or something."
"Let me see! It could be a love note!" Usopp grabbed at the paper which Luffy willingly gave him. Usopp scanned the note dramatically, mumbling to himself the entire time. Luffy picked his nose in boredom and Zoro's scowl intensified with his irritation at these buffoons.
"Oh wow! Luffy! Someone wants to challenge you to a fight! His name is Admiral Kizaru!" Usopp exclaimed at last.
"REALLY?!?!?" Luffy exploded excitedly.
"Yeah! They say to meet them at the park at one this afternoon."
"YOSH! LET'S GO!!!"
"But Luffy, it's only eleven."
"Oh . . . Let's go now to warm up!"
"OK!" Usopp pumped his fist in the air.
The two paraded off, arm in arm.
Zoro simply left the scene to make sure Nami wasn't maiming Chopper in her rage.
"Ugh! I can't believe that perv! Wearing my bra over his face because of his damn eye? And now my keys are gone. Whoever did these pranks is gonna pay! Scratch that, I know who it is. Usopp is gonna pay!"
"Uh, Nami?" Chopper piped up.
"WHAT?"
"I-I can walk by-by myself –"
"Shut up, Chopper! I'm ranting!"
"O-okay . . ."
Nami was dragging Chopper down the hall and around the corner to her room to put the bra back in its rightful place. She practically kicked the door open once she arrived and made a beeline for her top dresser drawer, still ranting.
"I don't know where he even got this! Did he sneak it out in the middle of the night? I'm gonna smash his face in when I . . . I . . ."
"N-Nami . . . is everything o –"
"UUUUUSSSOOOOOPP!!!!" Nami screamed at the top of her lungs, gripping fistfuls of colorful pieces of paper that resembled fake money.
Chopper was frozen solid in fear.
Nami tore through the rest of the contents of her drawer and a few others as well, panicking the entire time, "How could this be? I swear I checked it this morning! No! No! This can't be happening! NOOOOO!!!!"
She suddenly collapsed on the floor, a sobbing mess. Chopper, finally coming to his senses, slowly backed out of the room, leaving Nami to her mental breakdown.
"Geeze, what's your problem now?" Zoro asked, suddenly appearing in her doorway and Chopper hiding somewhere behind him.
Nami turned her face up towards Zoro, pure hatred etched into every feature. Zoro didn't even flinch.
"My super secret money stash has magically turned into freaking MONOPOLY MONEY!" Nami emphasized this by throwing wads of the colorful money at Zoro. Then she collapsed into one of her fits again.
Zoro arched an eyebrow, his classic expression that fulfilled several emotions.
"Come on, Chopper," he said finally, ignoring Nami. "Let's find you some clothes."
"C'mon, c'mon, where is it?" Usopp muttered to himself, searching high and low as he walked outside to search the front yard. It was almost one, and Luffy was at the park already, facing his challenger this very minute! Why did he have to lose his backpack now?!
Usopp was so lost in thought that he didn't even notice Zoro going up the stairs at the same time Usopp was coming down until his long nose crunched into Zoro's hard-as-rock chest.
"Huh? Oh, s-sorry, Zoro," he stuttered, rubbing his nose with one hand and nervously patting Zoro's beefy shoulder with the other.
Zoro grunted in annoyance and swatted Usopp's hand away like one would a fly. "Didn't you go with Luffy to the park?"
"Uh, yeah, but then I realized I didn't have my backpack. You know, in case Luffy needs back up from the great and terrible me! Yes! I will be there in Luffy's time of need! I, the Great –"
"Did Luffy's challenger show up or not?" Zoro interrupted before he felt the desire to physically harm Usopp.
"Yeah, but he seemed a little strange. Really stiff and hard, you know? And he was there really early, right when we first got there with a sign with his name on it and everything. But he wanted a staring contest! I think Luffy was winning when I ran off to get my backpack."
Zoro's eyes widened just slightly from their usual half-lidded state, but only brief enough that Usopp didn't notice.
"Well, I haven't seen your back pack anywhere," he grunted, side stepping to head up the stairs finally.
"Oh, ok. Thanks Zoro," Usopp mumbled to his retreating back.
He wandered outside, in case he might have left it somewhere when Chopper, Luffy, and him were playing Frisbee the other day by the oak tree in the back yard. Usopp circled the base of the tree and some of the bushes nearby. Hmmm. Wasn't there, maybe on the porch? A soft breeze rustled the newly budding leaves slightly, shaking loose a twig that bonked him on the head causing him to look up in confusion. Wait a minute. . .
"How did it get up there?" Usopp wondered scratching his head, for high up in the oak tree his hunter green backpack swayed in the breeze.
Shrugging, Usopp made to climb the tree and retrieve his pack. He was such a skilled climber that this was quite simple to do. Ever so carefully, he reached out to snatch his bag from the branch it hung precariously from. Straddling a thicker branch below it, Usopp hugged his back pack to his chest, yet noticing something strange with the weight. Hadn't it been lighter before?
Suddenly the bag made a strange chirping noise and quivered violently.
"What the . . ."
Cautiously, Usopp unzipped the top pocket, wincing in case something jumped out.
Nothing.
Oh, well in that case, maybe he should take a closer look inside. As soon as he stuck his head in there, two pairs of beady little eyes were in his face.
"AHHHHH!!!!" Usopp yelled, releasing the bag, but not before two squirrels managed to leap out and viscously attack his face. He careened to the ground, screaming and batting at his head the entire way.
"RAAAABIIIIEEES!!!" Usopp ran around in circles beneath the tree he just fell out of, flailing helplessly before running back inside the house.
Zoro lazily strode into the kitchen and grabbed a Coke out of the fridge. He noticed Sanji was cooking something in a large saucepan that smelled like ground beef.
"What's for dinner, curly brows?"
Sanji paused to glare at Zoro. "You are having leftovers. This is for Nami, since she has no money to go out with her lovely friends."
Zoro cocked his head at him. "What's on your face?"
Sanji became morose. "I couldn't cook right with my left eye so exposed."
"You're dumb." Zoro leaned his head back to chug half the can of Coke. Suddenly, he paused and looked back at Sanji, raising an eyebrow.
"Is that my bandana?"
"No," Sanji answered, quickly looking away.
Zoro didn't even respond. He simply marched over and ripped the black bandana off Sanji's head.
"Hey!" Sanji cried, slapping his hands over his face.
Zoro opened his mouth to reply, but was interrupted by Usopp bursting into the kitchen with two squirrels running around his head.
"RAAAAABIIIEEES!!!!" Usopp screamed and danced around.
"Nice try, Usopp!" Sanji jeered. "Pranking yourself just so we won't think it's you screwing us around today. HA! What a lame prank!"
But Usopp paid no attention. He was too busy trying to get the angry squirrels off his head. Finally he weaved his way through the kitchen and out the back door.
Chopper ran in shortly after with a panicked look on his freckled face.
"Zoro! I think Usopp has rabies!"
Zoro and Sanji paused to stare at Chopper.
"We need to do something, guys!" he shouted at them.
"You're wearing girls' clothes," Sanji stated, as if Chopper didn't know already.
Chopper turned a bright pink and crossed his arms over his chest. He was wearing a short plaid skirt with his boxers peeking out underneath and a pale yellow shirt with big blue letters that read, "POP*STAR."
"He doesn't have rabies," Zoro said at last, leaving the room.
Chopper looked up, surprised, barely catching sight of Zoro's back as he left the kitchen. Then he looked over at Sanji for reassurance only to find him attempting to tie a dish towel over his left eye. Chopper sighed and skittered off to find Usopp.
Franky slammed his truck in park and jumped out, marching up to his house. It would be an understatement to say he was unhappy. He was livid. Quite livid.
He burst through the front door, startling everyone sitting in the living room.
"Hello, honey," Robin cooed from her spot on the couch.
Franky paused to seethe and look around before beginning his rant. His eyes immediately went to Usopp, sitting across from Robin, with several bandages over his swollen face. Chopper, currently in a skirt, was tending his wounds. Nami was crawling around on the floor muttering something about "money" and "death." Sanji was sitting next to Robin, a sock tied over the left side of his face, and Zoro was kicked back in a recliner. Luffy was nowhere to be seen or heard.
"Did you get pranked too, dear?" Robin asked, smiling sweetly.
"Yeah. I'm sure Usopp could tell you," Franky ground out, glaring at Usopp.
"Hey! Hey! Don't look at me! I didn't do anything! My prank was the best this year so far!"
Franky grunted and sat next to his wife.
"You've been saying that all day, long-nose-kun," she said, sidling up to Franky. "What prank did you actually pull?"
Usopp shook in mirth, his laughter disrupting Chopper's doctoring. "It was the BEST PRANK EVER!" he declared.
No one breathed as they all impatiently waited for Usopp to control his laughter enough to spill the beans.
"Whew! Okay, okay," he sighed, slapping his knee. "I didn't pull a prank all day! HAHAHAHAHAAAA!!! How's that for an April Fool's prank? Only the Great Usopp could pull off something that heinous!"
Everyone sighed.
"Then who did all of this?" Franky demanded.
The room suddenly erupted in angry protests.
"It couldn't have been me! I got pranked first!"
"If anyone spent a dime with MY money, you'll owe quadruple interest!"
"Please, I want my clothes back."
"And my keys!"
"I can't cook like this!"
"Oh the rabies!"
"What if it was Luffy? He's been gone all day!"
"No! He's not smart enough to pull all this off!"
"Then where is he?"
"Please, I just want my clothes back."
"RAAAAABIIIEEESSSS!!!"
SLAM!
Everyone froze, mouths agape, staring at the huge history book Robin had thrown on the coffee table. She brushed her hands together as if rubbing dust off them and crossed her delicate arms across her ample chest, a smirk on her face.
"Obviously, everyone who had got pranked today wasn't a pranker. Only one person hasn't said a word this whole time . . ." she turned her head dramatically towards the recliner where a certain green-haired muscle man was. Everyone's heads followed suit, soon gasps and whispered cries of astonishment rippled through the peanut gallery.
Zoro sat up, just realizing all the attention he was getting. They all expected him to say something, either denying his guilt or admitting his pwnage.
"Well, Zoro, it had been you pranking us all day, hadn't it?" Robin asked.
Zoro simply smirked, shrugged his shoulders, and stood and stretched. Then he walked to the stairs, calling over his shoulder, "I'm going to bed."
The room was still in shock as everyone heard Zoro's firm footsteps walk up the stairs and into his bedroom, the door closing.
"What the hell?!?"
A cool night breeze rustled the curtains around the window, the entire room dark and silent, save for an almost snore from the sleeping mass against the left wall. A sliver of light shone across the floor as Sanji crept in and shut the door behind him. He settled into the bed opposite the other, tall body stretched out, arms up behind the head.
"So you pranked us all today, huh?" Sanji asked, knowing full well the warrior was not fully asleep yet.
Said man groaned and turned over.
"Do I want to know where you got all those baby keys?"
"No, not really," Zoro mumbled, stretching out like Sanji.
"ZOOOORRRROOOO!!!" Luffy yelled, bounding into the room making the two men jump like they'd been kicked in the stomach.
"IWONIWONIWONIWON!!!" Luffy was now jumping up and down on Zoro's stomach.
"Ugh, get the hell off me," Zoro managed to gasp out. He caught Luffy by the ankle and threw him to the floor. Luffy continued to laugh psychotically while all sprawled out in a face plant.
"Won what?" Sanji inquired, now sitting up and rubbing his head because of the headache that suddenly sprang up.
"WON THE STARING CONTEST! WOOOHOOO!!!"
"Staring contest?" Sanji looked across at Zoro who, for the first time Sanji has ever seen, had a surprised expression.
It was Zoro's turn to start asking questions. "How could you win against 'Admiral Kizaru'?"
"It was tough! But I did it! He was a real stiff, ya know? Cold too." Luffy was now sitting cross legged in the middle of the room, rolling around like a small child. "Let's go get some meat for celebration!!!"
Sanji stared in bewilderment at Zoro, then at Luffy. "What? Admiral Kizaru? You mean the statue in the park?"
A/N: I know an April Fool's one is like a week late, but it took me that long to write it when I got the idea. I must give credit to endsoftime for helping me with prank ideas. It was still way more epic when we planned it out in the book store, but I think it turned out pretty good. Hope it wasn't too choppy! So let me know what you think! Please please please review! Don't make me beg!