"Can he hear us?" Elizabeth asked as she walked toward the ICU with Olivia. "If I talk to him, will he know it's me?"
Olivia smiled, "I don't know for sure…but I like to think he can hear us. All we can do is stay positive around him and hope he knows."
"I'm scared," Elizabeth's voice shook as she stood outside the door. "Maureen said he looks bad. That his face is all purple and bruised and the machines beep and make you think he's dying…"
"Honey," Olivia put her arm around her. "If you don't want to go in, he would understand. It is scary to see him like that…but I promise you, it's better to see it for yourself than to just imagine it. When you let your imagination run wild, it always seems much worse than it really is."
"Will you hold my hand?" Elizabeth asked, feeling like a little girl instead of a grown woman.
"Of course," Olivia reached out and grabbed her hand. "And if you need to leave, it's okay."
They walked into the room and Olivia immediately noticed the bruising Maureen had mentioned. It was much worse than it had been the day before, but the doctor assured them it was normal after the pressure from the bullet and then the trauma of surgery. She looked at Elizabeth who was squeezing her hand as tight as she could, and she nodded, "It's okay…" Olivia whispered. "Just talk to him."
"Daddy…" Elizabeth's voice was childlike and she couldn't remember the last time she had called him "daddy," but for some reason it felt right. "It's me…Lizzie…" Elliot lay perfectly still and Elizabeth searched his body for any sign of life, but she didn't find one. "I love you," she whispered. "Please wake up…" Olivia sat in the chair next to the bed, still holding tight to Elizabeth's hand. Elizabeth looked at her, "I don't think he can hear me," she cried.
"Liz…when he wakes up…he's gonna know you were here," Olivia promised. "Just talk to him...about anything. About school maybe..."
"I can't do this," Elizabeth cried. "Can I just wait in the waiting room? I'm sorry…"
"Its okay, honey," Olivia squeezed her hand. "He knows you were here. Go ahead and wait outside. I'm gonna stay for the whole hour though if you don't mind."
"No…I understand. You should stay. I'll be outside when you're ready to go." Elizabeth looked at her father, "Bye Daddy…I love you." Then she walked out the door.
Olivia took a deep breath, and looked at Elliot watching his chest rise and fall unsteadily and listening to the monitors beeping around him. She didn't blame Elizabeth for wanting to leave. It was frightening to watch, but she wasn't giving up even one second she could spend with him. She missed him, so much it hurt, and she knew there was still a chance she could lose him. She wanted to spend every second she could with him while she had the chance.
"El…" she said softly. "I met Sarah today." She smiled softly, "I know you were trying to save her…and you did…you saved that little girl's life. So…" she felt the tears burning in her eyes and tried her best not to succumb to them. "So I know why you didn't pull your gun and shoot…and it's okay. You did the right thing." She leaned over, touching his hand gently. She was afraid to touch him, afraid she'd somehow cause more damage to his frail body…but she couldn't stand not touching him anymore. She ran her finger delicately along his hand and the warmth of his skin was more comforting that she could have imagined. "Sarah said you told her our baby girl might look like her," she smiled. "That she'd probably have dark hair and eyes…like me. But El…I want this little girl to look just like you…a little piece of you that I'll always have with me…" she couldn't hold back her tears anymore and she quickly sniffled and wiped them away. So much for staying positive. He didn't need her breaking down right now. He needed her to be strong.
She sat back in the chair, pulling herself away from his warm touch, and pulled the baby-name book out of her bag, "We need to choose her name, El," she cleared her throat, knowing to an outsider that it would look ridiculous that she was sitting there having a one-sided conversation while he was comatose, but she needed the normalcy of talking to him, and in her heart she knew he could hear her. Talking to him was going to heal his brain faster, and he was going to wake up. Maybe not today…but soon. "You highlighted a dozen names in here, El…" she said as she read some of them off. "Emma…that one's kind of pretty. According to the book it means 'the whole universe.' I guess that fits her." She laughed a little "Abigail…that one means 'father's joy'" she smiled. "Is that why you chose it?" She put her hand softly on her stomach. "She was kicking last night…really hard…I think she missed you." She looked back at the book, "You highlighted Olivia?" she asked. "No…no way…I am not naming this baby after myself." She went on like that, reading off the names he had highlighted in the book, talking about the meanings, not really paying close enough attention to choose one she liked, but wanting him to hear her voice. "You need to wake up, so you can tell me which name you like the best." She sighed. "I don't want to choose her name by myself, El."
She knew her time was almost up and she put the book back in her bag. "I have to go now," she whispered sadly. "The doctor doesn't want you having visitors for too long. He wants you to rest." She put her hand carefully on his once again, and wished he'd give some sign that he felt her touch. "Besides," she put her other hand on the swell of her stomach, "Your daughter is bouncing up and down on my bladder. So much for the doctor saying she might not move much," She leaned over, kissing him gently on the cheek, knowing she probably shouldn't be touching him like that, but unable to stop herself. "Please wake up…" she whispered close to his ear. "Please…we need you…"