Chapter Twenty

(Annie)

A doctor is talking to me. I don't know what he's saying. I shouldn't have got lost in my mind now, not when he could be saying something important about Finnick.

Peeta rubs my back as the doctor walks away. "Don't worry, Annie, I wrote down as much of what he said as I could catch. If you have any questions, we'll ask Prim. She'll tell us in a much better way and the doctor said she's mostly been taking care of him anyway."

I trust Peeta. Peeta trusts Prim. So I trust Prim.

"Can we talk to her now?"

He leads me across the busy room, and I try not to see all the injured men and women stretched out on the triple rows of cots. I hope he doesn't mind I'm holding on to the back of his coat.

He introduces me to the girl who looks almost nothing like Katniss and I'm grateful for that even though I sort of remember meeting her officially in District Thirteen.

"Finnick is far more stable than I thought he would be," she says. Her words are simple but honest – I like her already. "He isn't out of the woods by any means but so long as he remains stable, we can start treating his individual injuries better."

"How many injuries does he have?" Peeta told me he was attacked and badly bitten by lizard mutts. It was almost too much detail. But I still need to know.

"We're not absolutely sure yet." It hurts to hear her say it but I still like that she said it. "Some of his major organs were badly damaged so we've focused on doing our best to heal them first. That's why he's so immobilized. His body needs to stay as still as possible for the connections to be remade. When we can give him a bit more movement, we can change our focus."

"Will open wounds get infected?"

She puts her hand on my arm and, to my surprise, I don't pull away. "The risk of infection is the scariest in all this, Annie. Even a tiny infection could be fatal at this point. I promise you that we are doing everything we possibly can to make sure no infection occurs."

I have one more question and I'm proud of myself for having so many. "Why isn't in he in a real hospital? We're in the Capitol, aren't there hospitals close by?"

She gives an uneasy sigh. "The rebels want to make sure the doctors and nurses at the hospital won't undermine us through loyalty to Snow before we move anyone there. But really, Annie, there's nothing they could do that we can't do here."

It's the best I can ask for, I suppose. "I can stay with him?"

"Of course," she says, reaching out and squeezing my hand. "Stay as much as you like and call me if you need something or have any questions."

I go back to Finnick's bedside and sit on the stool. They told me to be careful touching him unless I have gloves on to prevent the spread of germs. He's also in pain so the best place to touch him is only on his chin. When Peeta leaves for a minute to use the bathroom, I lean up and kiss Finnick on that spot.

His eyelids flutter open and I latch on to the familiar sea green eyes, even if they are unfocused. I try to be above him and I whisper his name. Then I say it louder so maybe he'll hear me.

He blinks twice and then his eyes are focused.

I brush my thumb over the tears escaping from his eyes.

And I stay like that until he falls asleep again.

I eat the soup Peeta brings me and drink a half a bottle of water. I have to be strong for Finnick and that means I have to take care of myself.

A few hours later, Prim comes back and examines Finnick so gently that he doesn't wake up. "Everything is still stable," she assures me in a whisper. "The doctor said we're going to try taking off the oxygen mask for a few minutes the next time he wakes up. He might not be able to talk but it's important that we see how he does breathing on his own. It might not be easy to watch, Annie, so you may not want to be here."

I shake my head. "I'll be here."

"He might be calmer if he can see her," Peeta offers. "He was when he opened his eyes a little while ago."

She smiles. "That's what I thought too. You'll stay close in case she needs to leave?"

My mind drifts as he promises to do that. Now I'm just impatient for Finnick to wake up. I know he has a very long road to recovery but if he can breathe on his own, it just seems like everything will look just a little bit better.

No one disturbs me for a while, not until Peeta squeezes my shoulder. "He's waking up. I'll go get Prim and Rory. Are you sure you want to stay?"

I give him a look that sends him to get them. Of course I'm staying. I'm terrified to stay but there's nowhere else I could be, not if I want to live with myself.

Katniss' sister and Gale Hawthorne's brother come over right away – and I realize I trust the two of them more than I trust any doctor – and set up the things they need. She explains what's going to happen to Finnick and, when he starts to seem upset, she tells him that I'm still here.

"Here," Rory says to me. "Can you kneel on this stool to be above him so he can look at you the whole time? I can control the oxygen tank from the head of the bed. He needs to see you."

Now I know I like him better than any doctor too.

I kneel on the stool, making myself high enough that I can look down at Finnick but Prim and Rory still have room to work. It must not look too sturdy because I feel Peeta's arms wrap around my waist to hold me steady.

I hold my breath when Prim takes the mask off Finnick.

Without being told and without really thinking about it, I take slow and gentle breaths. I keep it that way when I see him copying me. And I hear Prim encourage me to keep it going.

He breathes on his own, mimicking me, for almost five minutes before he starts to struggle.

And just before Rory slides the mask back on, Finnick manages to say two words to me.

"Love you."