Out of Hand by relativelypositive
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and I make no money from the use of J.K. Rowling's characters.
Chapter 37
I can't believe I'm doing this.
Draco had always been told that family business was private. That dignity was a Malfoy birthright.
Here he was, throwing dignity out the window.
"Can't you just taste the irony?" Rita Skeeter twirled a perfect blonde ringlet around her right index finger as her Quick-Notes Quill took diligent, hyperbolized notes. "Little Miss Rib Spreader needs a favor. From moi. Now, I just don't know if I could do that."
"Miss Skeeter," Draco purred. "Might I call you…Rita?"
"Oh, you may, you delicious young thing."
Draco perched himself next to Skeeter on her desk, leaning into her personal space.
"Rita, do you know how long I've searched for my love? How I've scoured the globe, staring deeply into the eyes of hundreds of women, looking for just a spark, a scintilla of attraction, a frisson of passion?"
"Tell me. Tell me." She unsubtly thrust her chest in his direction.
Draco started trailing his index finger lightly up and down Skeeter's purple silk-clad forearm. He playfully used two fingers to walk up said forearm, then just his index finger to slide back down.
"I whiled away my days in a fog of disappointment and loneliness. My heart was full of sorrow. Rita," he whispered her name. "I was gripped by a deep despair that I tried to hide behind my Pureblood bravado."
"You poor darling." Skeeter stood and stepped further into Draco's space. She lifted her hand and traced her fingertip along his eyebrow and down his straight nose to land lightly on his bottom lip. "I just don't know how you survived your deep…yearning. Your soulful gray eyes just radiate the pain of your romantic quest."
"That quest…is now over. My Hermione has plucked at my heartstrings. She has broken down my barriers—" Draco frantically grabbed the hand that was tracing his cheek and clutched it to his lips, "and they were strong, fortified barriers, Rita. Can you imagine my surprise at the revolution my spirit has suffered?"
"This is a love story for the times, Mr. Malfoy—"
"Draco! You must call me Draco!"
"Draco," she purred, "Everyone must know of your journey to euphoria."
"You don't know what that would mean to me! To share my newfound bliss with the entire Wizarding world! To let them know that true love can be found in the least likely of places!"
He stood, releasing Skeeter's hand with a flourish, and sauntered back to his chair on the other side of her desk. He straightened his robes, sat down, crossed his legs, and confidently slouched with the air of a man whose life is deeply satisfying.
"Rita, it is extremely important that we get one special point across."
"And what is that?"
He furrowed his brow and glanced at Hermione. Her eyes were wide as she stared back at him with an alarmed expression.
He looked back at Rita and held her eyes for a meaningful five seconds.
"I don't know if I can—"
"Draco, you can tell me anything."
"But this may endanger Hermione's life!"
"Oh? Then it must be juicy—umm…incredibly important!"
"It is! Not only is it my heart, it is my very life!"
"But how could anyone hurt you? You are just enchanting!"
"I know, Rita, I know," he replied seriously. "But, alas, I am endangered." He paused for dramatic effect. "Unlike my father, I will never…become…a Death Eater!"
XXXXXXXX
"That was disgusting."
"Thank you."
"You outed your father. We didn't discuss that."
"Yeah, well, we'll make the rounds to my cousin by the end of the day."
"But we weren't going to bring her into it until the whole thing was over!"
"I'd like to get on record, Ministry record, about my father's activities. If I do get killed, I want them to be able to prosecute him."
"Hey!" Hermione swatted his arm. "You are not going to get killed! Neither am I! Or Harry or George or Fred or Zab-Blaise!"
"Zab-Blaise? Really? Pick a name and go with it!"
"I'm going to try to call him Blaise. I think it will show him that I am starting to like him. He was excellent at poking holes in our plans."
"So are you going to start calling me Draco again?"
"Again?"
"Yeah, you were calling me Draco, then you stopped."
"I hadn't realized."
"I think it's an interesting gauge of our relationship. I'd like you to call me Draco, though. I've come to enjoy saying your name."
"I know. You kind of smile every time you say it, unless you're being all serious."
"Let's celebrate our victory. Pub food?"
"Like we can go out for lunch!"
"Hey, there are four blocks between here and Weasley's, there's probably one or two places we could accidentally stumble into."
Hermione pretended to think for a moment.
"Okay."
"Have you noticed that we always do what the other asks?"
"What?"
"I've been thinking about it. When I ask you to do something, you do it. If you ask something of me, it doesn't even occur to me to tell you no. We may debate or share misgivings, but we always do what the other says. That's weird, right?"
"Are you saying that you were expecting me to be a stubborn, contrary harridan?"
"If I say yes, I get in trouble, right?"
XXXXXXXXXXX
An hour later found Hermione and Harry on her second errand of the day.
"Are you positive no one's home?"
Hermione gave Harry an exasperated look. "Of course! My parents are at the Burrow!"
"Then who's in your kitchen?"
Hermione's head snapped to the kitchen window where the silhouette of a body was wiggling around.
"You've got to be fucking kidding me!"
"Who is that?" That Harry didn't bat an eyelash at Hermione's language did not escape her.
"Ugh. I hope I'm hallucinating."
"Hermione?"
"Are you sure we can't get what we need from the Dursleys?"
"You're kidding, right? Petunia's always home."
"But your uncle had a storage shed of—"
"Who's in the kitchen, Hermione?"
Harry started walking towards the back door. Hermione grabbed his hoodie and pulled him back.
"Don't judge me."
"What?"
"What you're about to see will probably shock you. Just pretend you're over everything and couldn't care less. You're bored. Got it?"
"I guess."
Hermione sighed in resignation and led Harry through the house to the kitchen.
"What are you doing here, Claire?"
"Bitch, I'm makin' a sandwich."
"Do you often come in when no one's here?"
"Your pops always has the best meats." Claire turned and did a double take. "That's a fierce haircut, Hermione. Quite brave for our mouse, don't you think? And you, hottie," she addressed Harry, "I'll get to you in a moment."
Claire winked at Harry and he took a few involuntary steps back.
Hermione didn't blame him. Claire was wearing a miniskirt and a halter top. It was an extremely slutty outfit for a sixteen year old, but it was Claire's "uniform."
"What happened to you on Saturday?"
Hermione gulped. Had Professor McGonagall's Obliviation not worked?
"Shit, do I have a story for you!" Claire dragged Hermione by the wrist to the parlor and pulled her down onto the couch.
Harry followed the girls into the parlor and Hermione could see him sit down as far away from Claire as he could be.
"So my mum wakes me up with 'Hermione's in town' and I didn't even shower I was so shitting excited to see you. So I'm walking to your house and I was abducted by aliens!"
"You were, huh?" Hermione replied skeptically.
"For real. I was on the sidewalk and the next thing I know it's the afternoon and I'm in the park! I'm missing time. That's how it happens. That's how you know."
"What did you do then?"
"I went and got a metal detector. They implant things."
"Did you find anything?"
"No."
"Well, it's been nice seeing you, but Harry and I were just passing through." Hermione stood and started toward the garage.
"You're leaving already?"
"Yeah. Sorry. No time to hang out."
"Where are you parents?" Claire asked suddenly. "If you're here, they would be here. They don't know, do they?"
"Claire—"
"Did you run away from that fancy boarding school no one's heard of?"
"No…well, sort of. Listen, we just have to grab a few things and then we'll be off. I won't even tell my parents you loot the fridge when they're out. We just have to get going."
"Fine. Whatever."
Hermione led Harry quickly away.
XXXXXXXXXX
"I said something kind of dirty to her yesterday."
"Do tell."
Draco and Blaise were waiting for the twins. They were going into the Portrait Room, and Draco was quite excited.
"Well, she was sitting with me...well, in may lap, actually," Draco sounded smug to his own ears. He tried to dial it back.
"And you said?"
"Well, it commenced with a Muggle reference I didn't fully understand and it finished with an allusion to the size of my manhood!"
"Man you are using inappropriately large words right now. You told her you had a big dick?"
"I alluded to it."
"You rebel."
"Oi, you two ready?" yelled one of the twins as he came down the stairs.
The other one wasn't with him and for some reason that really struck Draco. He felt like they should wait. Kind of like he couldn't find one of his shoes.
"Where's the other one?"
"Working. The trials and tribulations of running your own empire, you know. Let's go talk to Gramps."
"Who?" Draco asked.
"You didn't tell him?" the twin questioned Blaise.
"Didn't come up."
"In two days of conversation it didn't come up once that his grandfather is a spy?"
A/N:
Getting very close to the end of this part. I'm excited and sad at the same time. I'm sticking with October 1st as the start of part 2.
Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!
ASJS, KodeV, viola1701e, and eliza6801, my stalwart reviewers!