Jane arrived back at Cop Central still wired on fight-or-flight adrenaline.
The driving uni let her out of the rear seat of the black-and-white and she walked in through the revolving front door. She was almost used to stopping conversations by now, but this time it wasn't because of the rocker getup but the amount of blood on her face and body combined with the fury in her eyes. She waved her badge and ID at the desk officer with her mostly clean left hand, stomped past him and slammed the heel of her right on the down button by the elevators leaving a smeared partial. Her eyes found her reflection in the metal doors. She looked like she had stepped out of a zombie movie. Today was just a solid wall of weirdness. Her back had stiffened during the ride and now started hurting for real. She rode down to B1 hissing in pain and steeled herself for reactions from Maura, Susie and various other subjects. She stepped in and raised her hands to avoid touching and contaminating anything by mistake. People were staring at her, frozen. Maybe walking in covered with blood and with a gun on the hip wasn't such a great idea after all.
"Folks, this is NOT MY BLOOD, but I need a full blood-work and tox on it and a medical checkup on myself because I was hit real fucking hard by a scumbag and I need my bruises documented. Where is Dr Isles?"
"Jane, what have you done?" Maura came rushing out of her office.
"God, you sound like my mother. Some asshole picked a fight with me. I've got evidence all over me, so we need to bag at least the top and register it and swab the rest of me. I'm keeping the goddamn jacket no matter what. You need to help me get clean, and you need to get a camera to photograph the damage. And can I have some painkillers, please?"
"Language, Jane. Where are you hurt?"
"He hit me here, and I landed on my back and that hurts like a son of a... kitten. I headbutted him and probably broke his nose, that's why I'm covered in this stuff. It's all his. Can we take this somewhere else where I'm not on display?"
"Go into my office and don't touch anything. Susie, get the #2 Pentax and evidence bags and a blue swab kit. You're recording, I'm assisting."
"Me?" Susie looked uncomfortable and had her hand up to her mouth trying not to bite her nails.
"Yes, of course you! You're my second in command and in charge of evidence, time to separate your feelings from your work."
"Uh... OK. I'll be there in a minute." Susie started gathering the kit while Maura and Jane walked into the office. Maura shut the blinds over the window facing into the morgue proper.
"Why is Susie so wound up? She should be used to seeing wrecked people down here?"
"Not living, and also it's you. She's very good at this, that's one reason I hired her. She's the one I want behind you in court if it goes that way."
"She has some problem with me? I had no idea. What did I do to her?"
"Nothing at all, she cares about you and doesn't like seeing you hurt. Now don't touch anything! I'll be handling all evidence, she'll be taking the pictures and registering everything."
"Why don't you do it all yourself?"
"I'm a medical examiner, I deal with bodies. Are you dead?" Maura was looking through a cabinet full of bottles, looking for the right medication.
"Point taken. God my back hurts." Jane groaned in pain and tried to check her spine for loose bits without dislocating her arms until Maura slapped her fingers.
"Will you please stop touching yourself and moaning! I'll give you what you want in a second." Jane squeezed her eyes shut and grimaced. That line might sound different to someone outside the room with no view of what was happening. Maura handed her two ibuprofen and a mug of coffee. She disappeared out into the lab for a moment and came back with a handful of ice cubes that she dumped in the coffee to cool it down to drug-swallowing temperature. Jane swallowed the pills and gulped the coffee, then tried to prepare for the ordeal of evidence photography from the evidence's POV.
Susie arrived with a tray full of gear and a camera on a tripod. Maura pulled down a neutral backdrop from the ceiling and stepped aside, and Susie started taking pictures of every part of Rock'n'roll Rizzoli. While she documented debris on Jane's clothes and the blood spatter on her face, Maura pulled on a disposable plastic apron and a pair of blue gloves. After a dozen pictures from all sides, and a few of just the hands to document the unmarred knuckles, Maura helped Jane remove the jacket. The moment when Maura stood an inch from Jane and carefully slid it off her shoulders was intimate. There was a certain amount of synchronized breathing and eye contact. Susie had discreetly switched the camera from 'still' to 'film' and recorded it all without upsetting anyone by mentioning it. The photo process started over. New photos of the torso and the blood spatter on the top.
When Maura peeled off her tank top both Jane and Susie looked flustered for a moment, and the photo session started on the third lap. The temperature was definitely rising in the room. There was a big bruise where Holter's fist had connected, right across the shoulder strap of the gray sports bra, and Maura held a ruler to Jane's chest as Susie kept clicking. Her back was also bruised from landing on debris in the street. Maura helpfully pointed to sore spots with a pen while Susie kept focusing and zooming to get details on individual bruises as well as the whole torso, documenting everything.
Maura squatted in front of Jane, unbuttoned her jeans and peeled them down her legs to drop them around her ankles. There was enough electricity in the air to make an audible hum, and it actually distracted Jane to the point where it began to mask the pain in her back. Maura took a moment to look up and make eye contact with Jane from the squatting position, face just inches from her panties. Jane tried to swallow, with little success. Susie was doing a discreet deep breathing exercise to calm down, glancing at the camera to verify that the video was indeed recording properly. Maura stood up and moved to the side again and the bruises on Jane's legs and ass were measured and documented.
Then Maura looked at her bra and frowned.
"You think I should wear a nicer bra?"
"Yes, because this one has blood on it. It seeped through the tank top and into the stitching. You should discard it. We'll register it as evidence with the rest."
"I need to wear something, Maura!"
Susie was standing perfectly still while her eyes darted between them like she was a spectator at a tennis match. She looked like she would fracture from stress at any moment.
"We'll wipe the jacket down and sterilize it so you can wear it to get out of the building, and I'll drive you directly to buy a new bra and a T-shirt. What do you want to do about the collar?"
"The damn collar stays ON until I'm done with it! I made a promise." Jane growled. She was not going to fail on that now.
"So, I'll take off your bra and we'll take some more pictures, and then we'll wipe you, the collar and the jacket clean with rubbing alcohol after we've taken samples. Are you OK with this?"
"Sure, let's get it over with." Maura started pulling off Jane's bra, acting out various private fantasies of all three parties. Jane noticed that for some unclear reason they were all blushing, not just her. More weirdness. She concentrated on not reacting to the situation. Unfortunately her nipples had their own agenda and betrayed her by becoming hard enough to mark glass. She blamed the cool morgue air. It might not stand up in court, but she would stick with it.
"Susie, take the final set of photos and then make sure you personally hold on to them until one of us asks for them. We do NOT want these to spread anywhere. Do you understand?"
"Yes, Dr Isles." Susie's voice was an octave lower than usual. She cleared her throat.
"Do you want to wipe down Jane or the jacket?"
"You take care of Jane, I'll deal with the jacket. I'll clean it under one of the fume hoods. Please lock the door before you start anything!" Susie took a deep breath to calm down, snapped half a dozen pictures of Jane's breasts and attempted to make her way out of the room, but was grabbed by Maura who insisted on more pictures in several angles plus profile shots from both sides and of the back now that the bra no longer obscured any bruises. When Maura was finally satisfied two dozen pictures later, she accompanied the slightly wobbly Susie to the door and locked it behind her after handing her the camera and jacket.
"So now you're going to run a wet sponge all over me to get the blood off?" Jane could feel her heart do a good impersonation of Roger Rabbit in hyper-active mode and her voice was not quite steady. Maura went to a cupboard and came back with an orange pump bottle of liquid soap.
"No, now you're going to use the decontamination shower in there and wash yourself with this soap. This is pre-surgery scrub-down soap and it kills anything that could harm you. In fact I think I'll call it 'Jane-soap' from now on." Maura smiled brightly.
"So why did you tell Susie you would have to wipe me down, and why did you offer her the job?"
"I'm trying to figure out where she stands on a couple of issues."
"And this helped?"
"Tremendously. I have a much clearer picture of her mindset now, thanks to your help. Now be a good girl and get in there and wash the blood off your face. There is regular shampoo as well, but you really should use the decon shampoo this time. I'm serious. It's in the matching orange bottle. Brush your teeth too, you might have gotten spatter in your mouth and traces can remain even if you've swallowed. There is a listerine bottle by the sink and disposable toothbrushes on the shelf. You'll find a tube of my skin conditioner in a drawer to the right of the sink, the Jane-soap is tough on the epidermis."
"OK, I'll be out in fifteen minutes or so. Hopefully I'll have something to wear then."
Jane walked into the decon bathroom to scrub down and Maura sat down at her desk to muse over the day's events while lifting samples from the boots and jeans. The day had been stressful so far, but also the most fun she'd had in months and their relationship was definitely coming off simmer and heading for boil. She was making a list of things that needed to be dealt with when they got home from work tonight. It was alphabetized.
She briefly considered using the first picture of blood-covered rocker Jane as a personal christmas card to her this year. She had instantly associated the image with documentary films where predators ate their prey. Jane's blood-smeared face looked like she had eaten a suspect. She had been standing with her bloodied fists on her hips, feet wide apart, looking defiantly into the camera and oozing confidence. Maura felt her heart do somersaults. My champion. My warrior.
Susie knocked on the door and waited outside holding the jacket.
"Would you like to come in and wait for Jane to come out of the shower?"
Susie made a strangled sound. "I think I should keep an eye on the tests, really."
"Susie... I know but I haven't told her anything yet, I promise. You can trust me."
"I do, Dr Isles. Always."
"Please call me Maura. And Susie?"
"Yes?"
"Merry christmas, even if it's a little early." Maura smiled and her completely innocent smile looked anything but.
"Oh god!" Susie turned on her heel and rushed away, blushing.
A few minutes later Jane emerged from the shower wearing one towel wrapped around her chest and using another to press water from her hair. Maura waited for her, sitting on the desk with a spray bottle in her hand.
"Take off the towel. I'll spray your back with a topical analgesic while we wait for the ibuprofen to kick in."
"I love you!"
"I know."
Maura gave her back a quick mist and handed her a dry towel which she wrapped around her chest again, gasping with relief as the immediate pain subsided. Maura held out her jacket and she shrugged into it and zipped it around the towel, looking slightly strange dressed in black on black with a fluffy blue terrycloth top. They left the office and headed for the garage, and Jane once again felt many eyes following her with one pair glued to her ass.
She had worked out a couple of things in the shower, and she intended to have a conversation about Susie with Maura once this collar insanity was over.
Chapter note: "Shipper Chang" is inspired by the brilliant "Morgue etiquette" by Alias424. I beg your pardon.