Chapter Twenty-Three

All that happened in January.

It's April now.

I still don't like the Capitol.

That's why, when Dr. Aurelius told me Finnick's doctors – who I still trust less than Prim, who went home to District 12 with Katniss, and Rory, who lives in the Capitol with Gale and still takes care of Finnick – were thinking he could go home to District 4, I jumped on it.

And then I rethought my eagerness.

I told him I thought going home would be a very bad idea. Finnick would be surrounded by the things he loved to do, most of which he can't do now. Or maybe can't do just yet. It would be too hard for him, too depressing to not be able to sail and swim and walk in the sand … all the things he fought to be able to do freely.

I really stuck my foot in it, though, because the first question he asked is where I think we could and should go. How am I supposed to know?

"District Twelve," Johanna says bluntly when I repeat the conversation to her.

Of all the answers she might have given, that's the one I expected the least. "District Twelve?"

"That's what I said, scatterbrain." She picks at the muffin on the table in front of her and sighs. "Brainless and Peeta are there. Haymitch is there. I'm planning to be there. If you and Finnick come along, we'll have three fourths of the loony living victors there. We can call it Crazy Land."

My muffin is temporarily forgotten as I hold up my hands to stop her. "Wait. You're planning to be in Twelve? Why?"

"You're three years younger than Finnick, right? So when he became the guy everybody in Panem had wet dreams about, you were just a teenager. And then you fell in love with him, didn't you?"

I groan and lean back against my chair. "I don't see what this has to do with anything, Johanna."

"My point is that you've only ever seen Finnick. You've never really seen other men that way."

How is Finnick friends with her? She talks in circles. "What way?" I ask as patiently as I can.

"Sex." The word is short and blunt, and I'm not surprised it came from her. "Sex being why I'm planning to be in Twelve. Gorgeous Gale, scatterbrain. I'm going to Twelve because Gale is going home."

Somehow this does not surprise me. "Are you already sleeping with him?"

She grins smugly. "Hell yes. Don't worry, I know you got attached to Rory so I honestly promise you that we have not had sex when he's around."

This makes me want to put my hands over my ears for reasons that have nothing to do with the Hunger Games. "I don't want to talk about you having sex with Gale."

"Neither do I." She stuffs the last of her muffin into her mouth and makes me wait until she swallows it. "I was simply telling you that all the victors, except for Beetee and Enobaria, are moving to Twelve so you and Finnick should too. After all, you're right about him maybe getting depressed about what he can't do. You're also having a baby and he's not going to be fully ready to help you. And you two don't really have any other family, do you?"

It irritates me irrationally that she's making valid points.

I finish my muffin, swallow the last of my milk, and stand up. "I'll talk to Finnick about it."

"Sure," she calls after me. "I'll pay for breakfast. You run off and stick me with the bill. It's all good, scatterbrain."

I ignore her and hurry back to the rehabilitation hospital where Finnick stays now. I dump my bag and my coat on the chair by the door and hurry across the room. He's sitting in a wheelchair by the window, looking out at the mountains that surround the south side of the city. I wrap my arms around him from behind and press my lips to his temple.

"How was breakfast with Johanna?" he asks after he kisses me back. "Or shouldn't I ask?"

"She said we should move to District Twelve with her and the other victors." I didn't really mean to blurt it out, but I couldn't help it. "Since the doctor said there's not much more than they can do for you here, I mean."

He twists enough that I let go of him and, using the only hand he really can, he turns his chair to face me. "You don't want to go home? Back to Four?"

I sit on the chair by the table so we can be eye level with each other. "Honestly, no. Not right now, anyway. Four was the place where we had to pretend and hide. It's the place where we lost our families and where we couldn't be who we wanted. Maybe, since we fought so hard to change those things, maybe we should try to start over somewhere else. Somewhere that maybe we won't be bogged down by the past so much."

He watches me closely and doesn't say anything for a long time. And then his shoulders sag, at least his left one does because that's the side of his body that's healed the best – he can't really move his arm on his right side. "Really?" he says with a shaky breath. "You'd really be okay with going somewhere else?"

I can hardly believe my ears. He was worried about asking me to go somewhere else. How did I not see this? "You don't want to go back either?" I ask softly.

"I'm scared of what I might not be able to do." He blurts it out quickly. "I can't be who I was. I'm not sure I want to be who I was, aside from loving you absolutely. I thought I was being a coward about it all so I didn't say anything."

I lean across to him and cup my hands on either side of his face. "You're not a coward, Finnick. Please don't say that. You're the bravest man I know."

He rolls his eyes and laughs weakly. "Okay, Annie. I believe you. So we're going to move to District Twelve then?"

I nod. "If they'll have us, yes. Prim and her mother are there. Johanna says Gale and his brother are moving back. That means medically you'll be taken care of. And we'll be around other victors so we'll be around people who understand us and what we went through."

He nods and puts his hand over mine. "Do you remember what Mags told us?"

I do remember and I smile as I remember because it means my plan to go to District Twelve is doing just what Mags would want us to do. "She said that if anything ever happened to her we should go to Haymitch."

"Do you think he'll mind? I mean, he's got Katniss and Peeta to look after already."

The chair moves so I spin it to reach for the telephone. Haymitch gave me his number before he left the Capitol and made me promise to call the moment I knew what we might be doing. Even if he says he can't help us, I know the Everdeens, the Hawthornes, and Johanna will help us. But Mags said to go to Haymitch first.

He's happy with our plan and promises to help Hazelle get a house ready for us. I blush when he asks me if the stories about Johanna and Gale are true and hand the phone to Finnick – no doubt she's told him even more horrible details than I had to hear.

I go into the hallway and use the phone there to call Dr. Aurelius. He seems proud of me for finding a way through this on my own and I admit, shyly, that I'm pretty proud of myself too.

Finnick and I are starting over as husband and wife in a new place and we'll be surrounded by our friends who have become our family. I couldn't ask for anything more. I could ask that he wasn't so badly hurt but I have him and that's what matters, so I really can't ask for anything more.