I've spent the last three days locked in my dorm, trying to figure out what the hell is happening to me and so I don't hurt someone. I used my pain and anger to control most of my physical changes; the red eyes and canines but my new found claws won't seem to go away. In the end I gave myself a manicure, in an attempt to make them look less like claws and more like a deliberate design.

Lying on my bed I stared at the ceiling, all my curtains were drawn; darkness filled the room. If I was anything close to what I thought I was, direct sunlight would kill me. My vision, in the past few days, has improved dramatically so has my speed and strength. Honestly I was scared, to stop myself from going crazy I spent my days in Lissa's head. No matter how much I currently despised her, being swept into her mind was a welcome release. When I wasn't pent up in her head I paces, waiting for the moment that the hunger and thirst for blood would overcome me and I would become bloodthirsty monster. But nothing ever came. In fact I wasn't even hungry for people food, I know right, me not hungry? Hell's frozen over. I chuckled to myself, tugging at my hair I realised that I can't stay locked up in here forever I had to come out at some point but for now, I seem to managing just fine.

A knock on my door abruptly interrupted my thoughts:

"Rose I know you're in there!" It was Eddie.

"No I'm not!" I shouted back. I wanted to be alone.

"Really? Then why did you answer me, you totally just gave yourself away?"

"…" I didn't realise my stupid mistake until after I answered Eddie, "Just leave me alone, I want to be alone right now." I said softly, knowing fully that he heard me.

"Rose, let me in we can talk about it." Eddie pleaded.

I didn't want anyone here, not even Eddie. Anger boiled in my blood, my jaw throbbed and my vision turned red;

"Leave now!" I hissed, power surged through my words, I was breathing hard.

I listened as Eddie's heartbeat faded away; he had left.

Realisation of what I had done hit me. Compulsion. I had compelled Eddie. I felt sick but exhilaration sored in my blood. Soon I became aware of what I could do; I could leave my dorm. Finally, maybe I can go to the gym and if anything happens I can just compel my way out of it. Content with my decision, I quickly changed into some shorts and sports bra and ran to the gym.

Arriving I quickly checked if it was empty, seeing that no one was there I entered, striding toward the dummies I let lose. Not bothering to bind my hands I let go of all my pent up anger and hurt, my muscles and knuckles ached, throwing kicks and punches I finally gave my body what it's been yearning for since I had my heart trampled all over. My body moved on its own, I lost track of time, anger and darkness and fuelled me. As the darkness slowly left my system, my muscles felt slack, exhausted and burned out I collapsed on the floor; panting and covered in sweat. I laid there for a while, resting, when I heard heavy breathing behind me, jumping up into a fighting stance; I was ready and alert for whatever came at me. I tensed up when I saw who it was, my breathing quickened; Dimitri. I bit down on my bottom lip when it started to tremble, be strong, do not cry I scolded myself. I lowered my arms and went to grab my stuff, brushing past him.

"Roza..." Dimitri said softly, sending shivers down my spine.

"What is it?" I turned around keeping my voice steady, Guardian mask in place, I desperately tried not to show how miserable I was.

His eyes pleading; "I think we need to talk."

"There is nothing to say, I got your message loud and clear Guardian Belikov." My voice was cold, emotionless. Dimitri winced slightly at the way I spoke.

"I'm sorry." His shoulders slumped, I swallowed.

"Don't worry about it, I'm already over it, no big deal." I tried to shrug it off but my hands started to shake. Dimitri's head snapped up, he looked almost hurt but then anger flashed across his face.

"Already over it huh? I thought you loved me!" his eyes narrowed to slits, fists clenching and unclenching.

"I cannot believe you! You are the one who said 'love fades, mine has'! You where the one who left me. You are the one who turned your back on us. I saved you Dimitri, not Lissa." I exploded in anger, with each word I stepped closer, darkness clouded the edges of my vision. I glared into his eyes, my chest pressed against Dimitri's, I was beyond furious.

"You left me Dimitri, not the other way round, now don't ever come near me again!" I tuned around and stormed off, tears pooled in my eyes, I tried to blink them away but they kept falling. I sprinted into my room not caring who saw me, I just needed to get out.

I shut myself in my room, I passed; angry and crying, the I pulled out my duffle bag out from under my bed and began shovelling my clothes and belongings. Pulling out my phone I dialled, my hands shaking so bad I had to redial several times before I got it right. The other line was picked up.

"Old man." My voice cracked slightly.

"Kidz what's wrong?" concern laced my father's voice.

"I need a favour."

"Anything."

"I need to disappear. Completely."

There was a pause on the other end.

"Okay Kidz, ill arrange a car to get you in an hour. Be ready." Click. He hung up.

I sank into my bed, my room was barren. I jolted at the sound of a soft know on my door, I checked the time I had fifteen minutes till I had to leave. Frowning I opened the door, my eyes widened in shock, Christian was standing at my door.

"What brings you to my humble abode Sparky?" I tried to joke.

"It's Lissa, I can't take it anymore." His voice cracked.

"I'm leaving Christian. For good." I sighed.

"What?" he stared at me, eyes wide.

"Pack everything you can and meet me at the gates in ten minutes. If not then, I guess this is goodbye." I gave him a fleeting hug and shut the door.

Turning around I inspected my room one last time and made my way slowly to the front gates. My thoughts where interrupted by someone calling my name, I looked up to see Christian waving me over to a black SUV. Grabbing my stuff I jogged over.

"You came." Relief washed over me, I didn't even realise how much I wanted him to come, to not be alone. Christian gave me a small mile in return and slid into the car.

As we drove out I looked behind me and watched the gates of St. Vladimir disappear. I turned around and looked straight ahead.

I knew I made the right decision.