Warning: Unbeta'd

..

.

.

..

Ichigo hissed in pain as he was lowered into the warm water. He stayed completely still as Grimmjow pulled the bloodied shirt off of him and threw it to the corner of Renji's bathroom. He looked down between his legs, watching as the blood and semen washed away into the once clean water. When he looked back up Grimmjow was sitting against the door with his face in his hands. From the slight tremor in his fingers it looked like he was trying to calm himself down.

Ichigo looked down at his own hands, which were still shaking before he finally opened his mouth to say something but the words died in his throat when he saw Grimmjow rolling up his sleeves. The man shifted until his was kneeling over the tub.

Ichigo tried not to flinch when he felt hands rub at his skin. He calmed down when he realized that the hands weren't being rough; they were gently scrubbing away the dirt and blood that littered his body. He remained silent as Grimmjow continued to clean him, soaping him down and even washing his hair.

Once all the soap was rinsed off and he felt better he finally looked up into deep blue eyes filled with guilt, sorrow, and relief.

"Thank you…" He whispered, and Grimmjow only nodded in response.

Ichigo closed his eyes when he felt fingers attentively run across the bruises on his cheek before sliding down to swipe at the cut on his lip and ending up at the marks around his neck. A new wave of guilt pierced Grimmjow, contorting his face into an expression of shame.

The orange-head reached up and pulled the hands away from him then he curled in on himself again.

Grimmjow sighed through his nose before getting up and grabbing the towel that was hanging behind the door. He held it out invitingly, waiting for Ichigo to get up and out of the tub. The berry looked up at the towel thoughtfully and hesitated a few moments before finally dragging himself up on shaky legs.

The bluenette immediately wrapped it around him and practically carried him out of the bathroom so that he wouldn't fall.

They ended up in Renji's room and Grimmjow quickly picked out another pair of clothes to lie beside Ichigo, who was sitting on the bed, probably getting it a little wet in the process. The bluenette stared at Ichigo for a while, eyes glued to his blank expression. He then slowly knelt down in front of his berry and stared up so that they were looking each other in the eye.

"Ichigo… Can you ever forgive me…?"

Said man looked down at the other for a few seconds, soaking in the sorry and pleading expression before sighing and looking away.

"I don't know…"

Grimmjow placed his hands on the bed and shifted up so that he could be closer to the other, but he backed off as soon as the sound of a door opening reached his ears. He quickly got up and left the room, closing the door behind him and leaving Ichigo alone to get dressed.

Ichigo sat listening to the mumbling coming from behind the door for a while, but when he couldn't distinguish what was being said, he slowly began to put on the articles of clothing, being careful not to hurt himself or fall down. He had trouble getting the underwear on because it hurt when it hugged his bruised hips, so he decided to forgo the underwear and just slide the loose shorts up to his waist. The shirt fit a little better this time because it was a tight v-neck, but he didn't care. He just didn't want to be naked anymore.

As soon as he sat back down on the bed, there was a soft knock on the door.

"Come in…" He said as loud as he could, his voice was still a little rough from all the yelling and screaming he did.

In walked Renji.

Ichigo looked up and then back down when their eyes met.

The hysteria that Ichigo had been holding in this whole time finally sprung forth as soon as his brother sat down beside him. He was quickly gathered up into warm, welcoming arms. Renji maneuvered them both under the covers and held Ichigo close as he let the boy sob against him.

"You're okay now. I won't let anything else happen to you Ichigo." He whispered over and over softly until Ichigo finally stopped breaking down. There were a few more sniffles and hics before the poor teen finally spoke up.

"Where's Grimmjow…?"

Renji's raised a brow in surprise at that being the first question Ichigo would ask.

"He walked outta the apartment for a bit to talk with Shiro…"

Ichigo was silent for a bit before he got curious again.

"Shiro isn't gonna hurt him is he..?"

Renji pushed back the sigh that was trying to escape and instead began to stroke the other's hair. "Why do you still care about that asshole when he was the one that started all this bullshit?"

Ichigo pursed his lips and started making incoherent circles on Renji's chest with his finger.

"I know… But I still love him…"

Renji winced slightly, and was grateful that his brother didn't notice.

They didn't speak for a while—Renji was trying hard to find the words to say next, but all he came up with in the end was, "I just want you to be happy."

Ichigo didn't find this useful, but he was glad that Renji was just being there for him—instead of trying to force his opinions on him. Ichigo let a small smile grace his lips and he buried his face deeper into the body in his arms.

"I couldn't ask for a better older brother."

Renji closed his eyes and squeezed the other tight before relaxing and smiling as well.

"Yeahhh. I know." He kissed the top of the orange hair that was in his face and then sighed in content. "Now get some sleep."

Apparently he didn't even have to bother saying that, because when he moved to look down at Ichigo's face, he could see that the lad was already passed out.

Renji hummed in amusement and gently shifted until he found a comfortable position with Ichigo still in his arms. After a minute he fell asleep as well.


Grimmjow couldn't take his eyes off of his own bare feet as he felt Shirosaki glare holes into him. He was guilt-ridden enough as it was without his friend putting those judgmental eyes on him to stare into his very soul.

"Why the fuck… No… How the fuck did Ichigo eva fall for you an' continue to put up with you even after you showed him what an abusive fuck you are?" Shiro growled as he took a step towards Grimmjow. The bluenette didn't retreat and he didn't get defensive when he saw Shiro raise his fist at him.

He deserved everything—every name, every hit, every curse—and he knew it.

The punch never came though. Grimmjow slowly looked up to see those familiar yellow eyes clouded with anger, disappointment and also exasperation.

"I never said I was perfect…" Grimmjow said with a shrug and Shiro lowered his hand as a frustrated sigh left him.

"No one's perfect… But that doesn't mean you do that kinda shit to your boyfriend. I always knew you were a lil' rough with your partners, but I neva expected you to—… did you even fuckin' see the bruises on him!?"

"Yeah I fuckin' saw them, a'ight!" Grimmjow snapped, the remorse he felt making him irritable. "I didn't mean for it to go that far… I was drunk off my ass—" When it looked like Shiro was about to yell at him, he quickly continued, "And I know that's no excuse okay? But… I really didn't know what I'd done until I woke up that mornin' and… and saw exactly what I did. I felt absolutely horrible, okay!? Not only had I hurt him physically… but when I walked into the living room and saw the smashed in TV and the mushed Oreo cake… and the dinner that was in the microwave… I realized that he'd been so excited to know I was comin' home that he'd made a special dinner for me… He must've waited up all night and I came home a fuckin' mess… I broke his fuckin' heart."

Shirosaki took in a deep breath and let it out through his nose to calm himself down and then he looked up into his friend's eyes sternly.

"So what are you going to do now…?"

Grimmjow closed his eyes and leaned back on the door as he contemplated that question—the same question that'd been plaguing his mind ever since he saw Ichigo again at Renji's.

"I'm not sure…" He finally sighed out and he reached up to pinch the bridge of his nose. "I mean… I know I'm no good for him… He deserves better—but I also know that I really, truly love that little idiot. I don't know if I could live without him."

Shirosaki would've rolled his eyes at the confession if it weren't for the fact that it was Grimmjow who said it, and he'd said it in such a sincere and honest way.

"That doesn't answer my question, Grimm." Shirosaki said, but there was no bite to his voice this time. Grimmjow scratched the back of his head and huffed.

"I guess I'll see if Ichigo'll give me another chance… And if he does then I swear I'll become a better person." He admitted with a seriousness that Shiro had to respect.

"And if he doesn't?"

"… Then I guess I'll move to some small town down south and buy myself a bunch of cats to fill the loneliness." He replied, half joking half serious.

Shirosaki snorted in amusement and shook his head slowly.

"I'll hold you to tha' promise then, ya jackass." He let out a snicker when deep blue eyes narrowed at him. "Better yet. He says no and I'll buy you yer first cat. We'll name't Pantera, or some stupid shit like that."

Grimmjow huffed and shoved his hands in his pocket.

"And when the hell did you start havin' the right to name my cats?" He said, indulging Shirosaki little fantasy.

"I bought the damn thing, I better have a say in its fuckin' name." The albino grumbled back, brooding as if he had actually just bought Grimmjow a cat.

"We'll see what Ichi has to say about that now won't we?" Grimmjow let a small grin spread across his lips—not a smirk—but a smile, because, if only for a few fleeting seconds he let himself hope that there was a chance that Ichigo would possibly forgive him. He let the smile drop after a moment and then he opened the door to go back inside.

He looked over his shoulder, expecting to see Shirosaki following him in, but the man was just standing there, a nearby streetlight the only thing illuminating Shirosaki's ghostly presence, and his arms were crossed in front of his chest. He had his head tilted slightly, making white bangs brush past his lashes, and he stared at Grimmjow with an unwavering intensity.

It was starting to creep him out.

"Hey… Shiro. You gonna come in or what?"

Said man stared at him for another minute before blinking and spinning on his heel to turn his back to him.

"Nah, it's okay. I'm gonna hang back an' 'ave a smoke before I come in."

"Thought you quit…"

Shirosaki chuckled as he dug into his back pocket and pulled out a bent up cigarette which was already halfway burnt through.

"I did…"

Grimmjow saw Shiro's shoulders twitch and then the familiar sound of a lighter being flicked on reached his ears. He sighed and slowly closed the door.

There was no use arguing with his friend when he got like this.

Grimmjow trudged his way through the hall, his mind whirring and swirling with different emotions and thoughts. He wanted so desperately to run to Ichigo and hold him in his arms again, but he knew it was way too soon for that, and he didn't even know if the contact would be welcome. Because the events that led to this situation was all his fault…

As he contemplated how tall the building in which he should throw himself out of would be Grimmjow turned the corner into the kitchen so that he could raid it for food, but he paused and blinked when he realized that someone was already there.

The person's face was hidden behind the door of the fridge, but Grimmjow could remember those legs anywhere. Those long, muscled calves. Those lusciously tanned thighs that led all the way up to that pert little—

"Grimm, stop looking at my ass."

Said man flinched and then suddenly straightened himself, refusing to admit to himself that he'd just been checking Ichigo out when the poor guy had just been raped for fucks sake.

"I wasn't—I mean I was but—fuckin' hell. How did you even know it was me?!" Grimmjow bristled but then he immediately relaxed when he heard Ichigo laughing and then the orangette stood back up and closed the fridge. He let his eyes meet Grimmjow's and then smirked playfully.

Grimmjow felt his heart slam against his chest.

He fucking missed him.

Ever since he got back from his long trip from work, it had been nothing but drama, so he hadn't been able to appreciate just how much he'd fucking missed this.

This, right here—Ichigo messing with him and gazing at him with that loving expression. That's all that had been on Grimmjow's mind while he was away.

And he fucking hated himself for almost messing that up.

He had let his anger and frustration get the better of him.

But never again.

Not if it meant that he would lose these moments.

That he would lose Ichigo.

Grimmjow couldn't help the large grin that spread across his face.

"You lil' dick. You saw me come 'round the corner an' set me up didn't you?"

Ichigo pursed his lips and leaned back on the kitchen counter casually. His eyes never left Grimmjow's as he shrugged his shoulders and slowly began to unscrew the top to the water bottle that Grimmjow just realized was in his hands.

"I don't see any bruises on you… I guess Shirosaki didn't beat you up, huh?"

Grimmjow cowered a little at the sudden 180 in the conversation and in the mood.

It had just been so light and friendly, like it used to be, but now it seemed reality decided to leave a little gift at his doorstep while obnoxiously ringing the doorbell over and over again like an alarm.

"Yeah well… Shiro acts tough, but he can be a big softie sometimes."

Ichigo nodded absently before tilting his head back and taking a large gulp of water. Grimmjow couldn't help but watch Ichigo's adam's apple bob and the muscles around his throat bulge and move with each swallow.

'Goddammit!'

Grimmjow clenched his eyes shut and quickly shook his head of any thoughts that were about to creep up from the darkest parts of his mind.

He heard the water bottle get placed onto the counter, but he still didn't open his eyes. Not even when he heard Ichigo's bare feet stepping towards him. Closer and closer until he could feel the other's presence in front of him—could feel Ichigo's breath against his lips.

Grimmjow stayed completely still. He didn't want to end up doing something stupid. He didn't want to ruin his chances with Ichigo anymore that he already had.

"Grimmjow… Look at me."

Said man hesitantly did as he was told, blue eyes quickly finding chocolate brown, and he gulped when he noticed just how close the other was.

"Ichigo… Please don't tease me like this. Especially after what just happened… I don't wanna hurt you."

The orangette blinked at him a few times and then a smile lightly graced his lips. Half lidded eyes stared at Grimmjow with pure happiness.

"That's what I was hoping you would say."

And then he backed away completely. He walked passed a dumbfounded Grimmjow and headed into the living room. He carefully plopped himself onto the couch and waited patiently for the other to join him.

Grimmjow needed a few more moments to process what just happened, but as soon as he did he rolled his eyes and then trudged into the living room as well. Instead of sitting beside Ichigo on the couch, however, he knelt in front of the younger man and let his head fall into his warm lap.

"You were fuckin' testin' me, you brat…"

Ichigo rested an elbow on the arm of the couch and then placed his chin in his propped palm so he could gaze at the head of blue hair in his lap for a while.

Grimmjow let out a long, content sigh when he felt fingers raking through his thick tresses and then he lifted his arms and let them rest on either side of Ichigo.

"Of course it was a test… Obviously I wouldn't want to have sex right now. I'm sorry I was so sneaky about it, but I had to know what your reaction would be."

Grimmjow could understand that.

He wasn't mad about it.

On the contrary, he was glad that he'd apparently passed the silly little test.

"I'm mostly surprised tha' ya even had the courage ta do all that right now. I figured that anything remotely sexual would be taboo and send ya into some kind of PTSD panic attack."

Ichigo hummed in amusement and then tugged on a handful of the blue strands of hair trapped between his fingers before answering.

"I do still feel very sensitive about it… especially if I picture his face and the feel of his…" Ichigo paused and his breath hitched when he got a small flashback of said man's dick being shoved inside him, ripping him apart and brutally invading him. "B-but I know that he can't get to me here. I know that I'm s-surrounded by people who will protect me and who l-love me." As he said those last few words he let his trembling thumb trace the outline of Grimmjow's lips and this made the bluenette raise his head up from the man's lap.

He looked up at Ichigo and felt himself fall apart a little when he saw the tears running down those bruised cheeks and sliding past a sad smile. Grimmjow let his hands gently grab hold of Ichigo's waist, making the man hiss in slight pain, but he didn't push him away as he was slowly dragged forward until he'd fallen off the couch and onto Grimmjow's warm lap.

"Ichigo." The blue-haired man started. "I know I don't deserve another chance… I shouldn' even be allowed near ya after the things I've done to you—the things I've said to you…" Grimmjow let his head fall onto the other's shoulder and he wrapped his arms around him, bringing them closer together.

Ichigo sniffled a little, but otherwise remained silent and pressed his wet face against Grimmjow's neck, breathing in his spicy scent and feeling the heat of his skin.

Grimmjow's pulse quickened both from nervousness and determination to continue speaking.

"B-but… I wan' ya to know tha' if you give me a second chance, then I swear tha' I'll make it up to you. I'll take care of you… Everything wrong that I eva dun to you… I will redeem myself. I will—" Grimmjow was cut off from his rant when Ichigo suddenly grabbed his face and then turned it so that their lips could collide.

Ichigo smiled and tilted his head so that their mouths meshed together, but there was no tongue—no urgency in the kiss.

Just a simple press of their lips.

Grimmjow didn't try to take it any further either, all he did was close his eyes and let his hand slide up Ichigo's back until he could tangle his fingers in tangerine locks.

When they finally separated Ichigo was still smiling.

"You don't have to do all of that, Grimm… Just tell me that you won't drink anymore and that we can start over. I'd rather forget everything that's happened…" He reached up and let the tips of his fingers slide down Grimmjow's face. "Before you left for your trip… I know I said a lot of horrible things to you as well. We both did. I wasn't the nicest person either." Grimmjow smirked a little at that, remembering how Ichigo had thrown a few dishes at him and told him he was a worthless piece of shit that would never amount to anything. Grimmjow forgets what the fight was about, so now that he looked back on it, it was kinda funny. "Let's begin something new, Grimm. Start over with me."

"I think I can do tha'…"

Just as Grimmjow was about to lean in for another kiss he heard the front door open and then close, followed by footsteps coming towards them. Ichigo leaned back, still sitting atop Grimmjow's lap, and then looked up and over the couch to see that Shirosaki had just walked in.

The albino stopped dead in his tracks when he saw the head of orange and then let his gaze fall to Grimmjow and back to Ichigo.

"Did I interrupt somethin'…?"

Ichigo shrugged and then reached back with his hands, placing them on the couch so that he could lift himself up and back onto the cushions. Grimmjow almost pouted at the loss but then decided to lie down, letting his head collide with the carpet.

"Not really… We jus' finished talkin' s'all."

Shiro nodded slowly and then was about to turn towards the kitchen, when Ichigo's voice made him pause.

"Hey Shiro. You wanna play a video game or something?"

Grimmjow peeked an eye open and chuckled at the surprised look on his friend's face before the familiar smirk took over.

Ichigo has no idea what he just unleashed.


Renji's eyes snapped open and he looked around frantically, his hands automatically reaching out in front of him to grab hold of Ichigo, but his fingers felt nothing. He remembered falling asleep with his brother in his arms and now he wasn't there. But why? Where is he? And what woke him up?

Renji looked towards the door when he heard another shout.

He instantly thought the worst and shot out of bed. His hair was all disheveled and his loose shorts were close to falling from his frame when he finally got the door open and ran out into the living room, but he stopped when he heard laughing. He looked towards the couch and instantly relaxed at the sight of Ichigo smiling.

Then he saw the other two sitting on either side of him. Shirosaki and Grimmjow. Both males were sitting as close as they possibly could to Ichigo, and all three of them had their eyes glued to the TV with wheel-shaped controllers in their hands.

Well, that explained the shouting…

Renji let out a soft chuckle and casually started fixing his appearance from the mess it was now. He adjusted his black shorts, smoothed out his white wife-beater and then he reached up and pulled out the hair tie that had been trying to hold on to his long tresses for dear life. He gently raked his fingers through his hair and then gathered all the locks into one group and settled it over his left shoulder.

"Mother fucker! You weren't supposed to know about that shortcut!"

"You're not the only one who plays videogames, dickwad!"

"Who you callin' a dickwad you blue-headed freakazoid!?"

"You! Ya stupid paper-mache lookin'jerk!"

"Hey look! I gotta present for ya you smurf-fuckin', avatar-lickin' motha fucka! IT'S A RED SHELL!"

"Don't you dare! Get away from me, tofu-brain!"

"Why are you just saying things that are white now!?"

"Whatsa matta? Jealous that ya can't think of a good enough comeback, chalk-face?"

"Ya know what… I'm gonna do it, Grimm. Jus' 'member that ya forced this upon yerself!"

Shirosaki let out a little cough to clear his throat, and realization seemed to dawn on Grimmjow, because a look of horror crossed his face.

"S-shiro… Don't do it, man!"

"Now listen up! Here's a story! ABOUT A LIL' GUY THAT LIVES IN A BLUE WORLD! And all day and all night and everythin' he sees is just BLUE! Like him! INSIDE AND OUTSIDE!" Shiro sang at the stop of his lungs.

"Shiro! You're so FUCKING UNORIGINAL!"

Renji rolled his eyes when he saw Shirosaki's smirk, but then he smiled when he heard Ichigo's loud laugh. He was glad that his brother was happy again—even if it was because of those two dorks. It'd been so long since he saw that smile. Renji quietly sat in the soft cushioned chair beside the couch, catching the others' attention for a brief second before they returned to their game.

"Heya, Ren. Good morning."

Indeed it was morning, Renji saw as he looked towards the window, seeing the tiny stream of sunlight slipping passed the blinds.

"Yup. Morning… You guys just been playing Mario Kart all night long?"

Ichigo snickered and nodded his head as he leaned back and quickly turned the wii's wheel control.

"Yeahhhh. This and Little Big Planet… and Mortal Kombat… and Call of Duty… andddd… uhm…"

"You forgot about NBA 2k14." Grimmjow mumbled as he started mashing buttons and frantically turning his wheel with a frown.

"That game was stupid though…"

"Whatever, brat. You just don't appreciate sports."

"Wellllll… Racing is a sport, isn't it? So I'm appreciating the fact that right now I'm totally about to kick both your asses."

Shirosaki and Grimmjow's eyes narrowed and you could practically feel their carnal need for victory.

"An' how are ya gonna do tha' when you're in 6th place, huh?" Shirosaki teased while leaning closer to the orangette, bumping their shoulders together.

Ichigo chuckled and then bumped his shoulder back.

"Like this~"

Renji took his eyes away from the three to see that Ichigo (who he automatically assumed was playing Yoshi, because he knew that was his brother's favorite character) had just somehow gotten the 'Bullet' power and had crashed into everyone in front, bringing him right into 1st place and, to top it off, it brought him right across the finish line, sealing the deal.

"Lucky bastard!"

Ichigo jumped off the couch and started doing a little victory dance which looked very similar to a Macarena dance.

"C'mere you!" Grimmjow growled playfully as he dropped his controller, not bothering to finish the race since he knew he wasn't going to get first place and then grabbed his lover. He pulled him down and cradled him in his lap. Then he began to tickle him, making Ichigo squeal and thrash.

"N-no! DON'T! Shiro, save me!" He giggled while pushing at Grimmjow's hands.

"Don't ask that glue-face for help!"

"Who're you callin' glue-face!" Shirosaki snarled as he jumped the two, pushing at Grimmjow's face while trying to pull Ichigo away.

Renji raised a brow and watched the group in amusement.

It was funny. Seeing Shiro and Grimmjow being playful like this, instead of yelling at each other. And it was funny seeing Ichigo like this, happy and smiling, when only a few hours ago he was being held by a bunch of assholes—bruised, bleeding, covered in cum and with a knife pressed to his throat. Renji could still almost feel the tears that had soaked the front of his shirt where Ichigo had cried himself to sleep.

Nothing like how he was right now—and he seemed genuinely happy. None of his expressions really seemed faked or forced, from what Renji could tell—and that's when it happened. Reality decided to turn its ugly head as Ichigo yelped in pain.

His body was covered in bruises so it was only a matter of time before the roughhousing took its toll.

Both men froze and looked at Ichigo with deep concern plastered on their faces.

Ichigo brought his wrist up to his chest and held it in his other hand gently. The scabs that had formed there were now open and blood was running down his forearm.

Shiro pulled away completely and looked down at his hand with wide eyes, seeing his fingers stained with Ichigo's blood.

Renji saw Grimmjow make a slight face of guilt, reminding him that he was the asshole that had made those wounds in the first place. Renji huffed out an angry breath and then stormed towards the group.

He quickly picked up Ichigo into his arms, snatching him away from Grimmjow and it looked like the man was about to protest until he saw the serious look in Renji's eyes.

"Shiro. Go wash your hands in the kitchen. I'm gonna take Ichigo to the restroom and clean up his wounds."

"I'll help y—" Grimmjow was about to stand up, but Renji's glare kept him pinned to the couch.

"Stay here."

And with that he walked towards the room. Ichigo threw an apologetic look to Grimmjow over his brother's shoulder, which the bluenette saw and returned with a sad, crooked smile.

Renji sighed as he closed the door and then settled Ichigo on top of the large counter next to the sink.

Ichigo pursed his lips and kept his mouth shut as he watched Renji try and collect himself again. The redhead gripped the counter on either side of Ichigo and pressed their foreheads together before finally calming down. He looked up at Ichigo's face and had to force himself not to get angry again when he saw the split-lip and the bruise on his cheek. He leaned back again to assess the rest of the damage.

When they'd gotten home last night, everything had been too chaotic to actually settle down and take care of the wounds on Ichigo.

The bruise around his neck still looked a little purple, but it was already beginning to heal and he lifted Ichigo's shirt to see that the bruises around his sides and his hips were also disappearing. His biggest concern now was Ichigo's wrists and his… well his… Renji fought down the blush that was trying to rise to the surface and he let Ichigo's shirt drop.

Ichigo watched Renji closely, reading every expression that crossed his face and every angry twitch of his fingers. Then he followed the redhead as he turned and walked towards the closet. There was some rustle inside and then he pulled out a small first-aide kit.

Ichigo turned towards the sink and ran the water until it was a little warm. He then put his bleeding wrist under the spray, washing away the drying blood. He hissed in slight pain as Renji carefully pulled his hand out of the water to spread some anti-bacterial on both of his wrists. Renji remained deathly silent as he began to bandage the wrists, taking special care not to hurt Ichigo anymore.

Said orangette blinked a few times at the tense expression he saw and then, when Renji was finished wrapping him up, he took the redhead's hands into his own. This made Renji's face heat up a bright red and Ichigo chuckled a little.

"What's on your mind, Ren…?" He asked and raised a brow when Renji quickly turned his head away and looked at the ground. He remained silent and tried to pull his hands from Ichigo's, but the orangette tightened his grip so that they wouldn't slide away. "Renji. Talk to me…" When it seemed like his step-brother still wouldn't open up he tilted his head and then released one of the hands so that he could turn Renji's face towards him. "Please…"

Crimson eyes reluctantly peered into soft brown ones and Renji found himself sighing in defeat.

'That's not fair…'

He looked back down before speaking.

"I don't like it…"

Ichigo tilted his head and let his hand drop from Renji's face at that.

"What don't you like?"

Renji squeezed the hand that was still in his own and then let his thumb gently run across the knuckles.

"I don't like how he treated you… He's an asshole and I don't want you being around him… Just look at what he's done to you Ichigo! I can't stand the thought that you'd be going home with him, alone, and at his mercy…"

Renji pressed their foreheads together again and heard Ichigo let out a long sigh.

"I know… But I've hurt him before too. And we've said our apologies. We've decided to start our relationship over and see what happens." When Renji looked like he was about to protest again, Ichigo quickly added, "Besides. I remember a certain boy who beat me and kicked me and called me names when we first started living together." Renji went silent at that and a pained look crossed his face. He quickly removed himself from Ichigo and took a step back, looking everywhere but at the person sitting in front of him.

"Remember all the things you did to me up until the middle of high school, Ren? How you tortured me?" Said redhead winced and crossed his arms together over his chest, almost as if he was trying to protect himself from the past. "Because I remember. I remember how you pulled my hair and twisted my arm until I'd yell in pain. I remember the kid who would take my lunch and kick dirt in my eyes… I remember how much you hated me."

"I never hated you!" Renji shouted, making Ichigo jump. After a second both of their eyes widened when those words finally sunk in.

Ichigo's expression quickly changed to curiosity while Renji's seemed to flip into panic.

"If you didn't hate me then why did you do all of those horrible things?" Renji backed himself against the bathroom wall and looked so much like a trapped mouse. "Renji! Answer me!"

Said redhead slowly, ever so slowly, began to relax and once he was calm enough he spoke, but his voice was shaking.

"I… I never hated you. I was just… I was… angry."

"That doesn't answer my question, Renji!" Ichigo snapped, his gaze piercing through the other's very soul. "What did I ever do to you to make you so angry at me!?"

"It was nothing you did, okay!? I was angry at my dad! And at your dad!" Renji seemed to have snapped at this point and all of his pent up feelings were pouring out now. Everything that he'd bottled up for so many frustrating years was scratching its way to the surface, no matter how hard Renji was trying to keep them subdued.

"Then why the fuck did you take it out on me!? Why were you even mad at them?!" Ichigo demanded while hopping off the counter so he could stand in front of Renji.

"Because they got married!"

"You're not making any fucking sense, Renji! Why is that a such bad thing!?"

"Because I didn't want to be your brother!"

Ichigo flinched away from him at that, eyes wide and brimming with tears—filled with hurt and anger.

"W-why didn't you say so sooner, asshole!? I didn't know you would hate being my brother so much!" He shoved at Renji's chest and then he started throwing punches at him, but Renji just passively grabbed the other's hands and used them to pull him closer. Ichigo cried and thrashed against the redhead's hold until he found their position flipped and Renji had him pressed against the bathroom door. Ichigo huffed and blinked up at Renji's neutral face hesitantly.

"You don't get it Ichigo…" He whispered while pressing his body further into Ichigo's.

The orangette still didn't seem to understand, and it frustrated him.

"Then enlighten me, asshole." Ichigo growled.

Renji's lips twitched up into a tiny smile and then he leaned his face forward until his lips barely brushed against Ichigo's, making brown eyes go the widest they've ever been.

"I didn't want to be your brother because… I love you."

Then lips collided.

TBC

..

.

Oh my~

Did I just leave this at a cliffhanger…?

Awww I did. Sorry, ducklings~~~

-edit- Look. I apologize for the time it took to get this chapter out. There is no need for the third degree. And i know the cliffhanger is stupid but this chapter wasn't even supposed to be this long anyway.

oh and, dear Guest, if the story was shit to begin with then why the hell were you up to this chapter? get offa my back anonymous jerkoffs. I know i'll regret letting you get under my skin later, but for now-suck it.