Sorry I haven't had much time for updating. The start of the school year always hinders my plans. Anyway...here is a little more. I will have more to post this weekend. Thanks again for the reviews.
Olivia could hear Noah giggling through the baby monitor when she woke up the next morning. She looked at the clock, noticing she had slept much later that she thought and turned to see Elliot was no longer in bed beside her. She struggled to pull herself up from the bed, then walked slowly toward the bathroom. When she emerged from the bathroom a while later, Elliot was in the hall, sitting in his chair with Noah perched on his lap. She walked over to them, leaning forward to kiss them both, "Why'd you let me sleep so late?" she asked with a yawn.
"Because, you need to sleep," Elliot insisted. "You should be in bed right now."
"I had to go to the bathroom," she told him. "My bladder feels like it's gonna burst most of the time," she sighed, "Just like the rest of me."
"You're not gonna burst," he laughed, "But you do need to lay down. You shouldn't be up."
"Then come lay down with me," she pleaded. "Both of you…we can have a lazy family day in bed."
"Day in bed?" Elliot laughed. "With this guy," he looked at Noah who was already trying to climb down from his lap. "I don't think he'll go for that."
Olivia knew he was right, but she was disappointed and it frustrated her that she felt that way. She felt needy and she didn't want to feel like that. "You're right…" she said sadly. "But I'm so bored…"
"You just woke up," Elliot reminded her. "How can you be bored already?"
"Because I'm sick of television, I've read more parenting articles than anyone should have to read in their lifetime, and I miss the two of you. I hear you playing together and talking…and I feel lonely," she admitted.
"You're not alone," Elliot smiled, reaching out and patting her stomach lightly. "You have our little princess to keep you company."
"Yeah…sometimes I think she's trying to kill me though," Olivia replied as she walked back to the bedroom.
Elliot watched as she walked away, wondering what she meant by her comment. Maybe she was just so physically miserable that she was being sarcastic about the baby trying to kill her, but the comment still worried him. She was obviously sad spending all day in bed, and he was worried about her health as well. Her blood pressure was still too high and the swelling in her hands, legs, and feet never seemed to go down anymore. He knew Olivia was worried the baby would be born too early, but watching her he was afraid of the toll this pregnancy had taken on her health. "Should we go keep Mommy company for a while, Noah?" Elliot asked the little boy who finally wriggled free from him and ran down the hall toward the bedroom.
When he wheeled himself into the room, Noah had already climbed up on the bed, yet another new task he had mastered and was chattering to Olivia about something he couldn't really understand, but she was engrossed in her son's endless babbling. "We decided you needed some company after all," Elliot said as he wheeled himself over to the bed. "We can't let you feel lonely."
"Thanks…" she said, tears in her eyes and she patted the side of the bed, "Come sit with us."
He slowly stood from his chair and walked the few steps to the bed, more steadily that usual. Then he climbed in beside them. "So…how are we gonna spend this lazy day in bed?" he asked.
"I want to teach Noah to color," Olivia smiled. "He's getting old enough…he could go to preschool next fall."
"Liv…he's kind of young for preschool," Elliot was unsure. "He won't even be two until a month after school starts."
"Well, I was thinking like a daycare-preschool," she suggested. "Somewhere he could go while I'm at work…the baby too."
"Your hours are crazy," he reminded her. "We can't put them in daycare. I thought that was why you hired Maureen?"
"Mama…watch TV," Noah whined, picking up the remote and handing it to Olivia.
She turned on the TV, putting it on a cartoon that would entertain Noah for a while, disgusted in her lack of parenting, and turned back to Elliot. "We can't afford a nanny, El…and besides, Maureen really likes her new job." She sighed, dreading this conversation, "We need to talk about our financial situation."
"Liv…I know we're gonna be struggling for a while after the baby comes," Elliot said. "But I promise you things will be fine."
"El…I'm going to run out of sick leave before I go back to work. I don't know what we're going to do without my salary," Olivia admitted. "And you're not working at all…you might not be able to anymore…and your temporary disability is going to run out in July. It only lasts for six months."
"I know that," he sighed. "But I'm getting better. I'm going to go back to work."
She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly. "El, I don't want to upset you," she said sadly. "But they aren't going to give you your job back after you've had a head injury like that. It's too big of a liability."
He knew she was right, but he hadn't let himself think about it. "Then I will find something else," he said quickly. "I promise…I'll find a way to take care of my family."
"But…it is going to take time," Olivia added. "And I understand that. I don't want you to think I'm pressuring you to find work. That's not what I meant at all. We need to make some decisions though."
"What kind of decisions?" Elliot asked.
"Like…where are we going to live?" she asked. "I know you want to move to your house in Queens eventually…but I don't think it's even something we can consider because you can't do the stairs and even if…when…you get better it's going to be hard. And with a toddler and a baby, I don't know that it's safe…"
"My other kids were toddlers and babies in that house, Liv," Elliot argued. "That isn't a good enough reason. Besides, you're worried about money and the house is almost paid for. If we moved there, you could sell this place. It costs too much anyway…and it's too small."
"I know it's expensive, and I know there isn't much room…" she began but he interrupted her.
"Don't start trying to defend staying here," he insisted. "Liv, you agreed we needed to move. For now, of course we can stay. I don't want to uproot you right now and Lord knows I can't handle a big move either…but honey, this place sucks a lot of money out of our budget. You could make a decent profit selling it…"
"And you could make more selling yours because it is almost paid off," Olivia suggested. "If I sell this one, what I get for it will barely cover what I still owe on it."
"So you want me to sell my house?" Elliot asked. "That's what this is about?"
"No…it's about how we are going to make ends meet," Olivia insisted. "Daycare is cheaper than a nanny…so if I can stick to some kind of regular hours we can save money there. If you sell the house, and I sell this apartment, we can use that money to find a place that will work for us…something on one level with enough bedrooms for all of us..."
Elliot nodded, "I just can't imagine selling the house," he sighed. "I know it makes sense, but with everything else going on…I just don't know…"
"My savings should last us a little while," she said softly. "Even when my sick leave runs out…but El, we have to figure this out."
"I know," he nodded. "I want what's best for you and the kids…I really do…"
"I want what's best for all of us," she added. "I mean…Eli doesn't even have a place to sleep here and I know he wants to spend the night…you want him to…"
"The last time he was over here he said he would sleep on the couch, but he wanted to go home soon," Elliot admitted.
Olivia nodded, "I think if we found a bigger place, all on one level, everyone would be happy. Not right this second, but after the baby born…maybe when I go back to work."
"I'll think about it," Elliot promised. He looked at Noah, still engrossed with the TV. "I can see why you didn't want him watching television so much. He's addicted…"
Olivia laughed, pulling out a coloring book and crayons for the night stand and clicking off the TV. "Noah…let's color a picture," she suggested, putting the crayon in his hand and guiding his coloring on the page.
"You keep crayons and coloring books in your nightstand?" Elliot asked laughing.
She smiled, "I asked Maureen to bring them the other day. I feel like I'm getting behind on teaching Noah new things. I'm so distracted by everything else…"
"You have every right to be distracted," Elliot reminded her.
"I just don't want to let him down," she sighed. "I want to be a good mother. That's all I've ever wanted."
"You are a wonderful mother," Elliot stroked her cheek. "Liv…Noah adores you. And you are going through so much to get our daughter here safe and sound. I'm in awe of you…I truly am."
"Thanks," she said softly.
Noah grabbed a purple crayon, scribbling across the page with anxious movements and Elliot laughed, picking up a yellow crayon and trying to color in the lines himself, which thanks to his poor motor skills was no easy feat. He took a deep breath, giving a sad sigh, "I swear I feel like I'm learning this right along with him."
"You're doing so much better, El," Olivia said. "I'm in awe of you…no one else could have recovered so well, so quickly."
"When Maureen takes me to physical therapy tomorrow I'm going to ask about using a walker instead of the chair," he said. "I think I'm ready…and I need to be more mobile. It kills me that I can't help you get out of bed, or walk with you when you're trying to ease some of the contractions you've had."
"You shouldn't feel bad, El," she said tearfully. "I know you'd help me if you could…and you already do way more than you should have to…more than you should be doing while you're recovering. I'm worried about you…"
"I'm worried about you too," he admitted. "You're too big…and I don't want to make you mad by saying that…"
She laughed, "You're not…I am too big." Her face turned more serious, "Some days I'm scared my body can't really go on like this. The Braxton Hicks are so exhausting, but they are happening more and more. I'm tired all the time…my chest flutters sometimes and I swear I'm going to have a heart attack…"
"Why didn't you tell me that?" Elliot asked nervously.
She shook her head, "Because there is nothing you can do about it. I called the doctor when I had the fluttering the first time…he said it was probably anxiety, or due to my blood pressure and the next day he checked on it at my appointment and said everything was fine…just another weird pregnancy thing."
"What about the swelling?" he asked. "I'm worried about that. Sometimes…" he sighed, shaking his head and unsure if he should continue.
"What?" she asked. "What were you going to say?"
"I'm scared of losing you…" Elliot admitted. "That something is seriously wrong…and…"
"El…" she took his hand, squeezing it tight. "I'm okay…I swear." She looked seriously at him, "This pregnancy has been hard. Probably the hardest thing I've ever done, but I see the doctor every week now and he's sure things are fine. I'm forty-six…the baby has Downs…there's all the extra fluid…I'm gonna look and feel like hell." She gave a weak smile, running her fingers through Noah's hair and watching him color a second page with his purple crayon, "But in the end, it's going to be worth it." She glanced back up at Elliot, "I can't believe I am going to have two kids of my very own…"
He smiled, "Our very own." He leaned over and kissed her, letting his hand rest on her stomach. "You have to share them you know."
"Okay…" she laughed, "I'm glad I get to share them with you." She sighed, "That's all I've ever wanted, you know…the whole time I've known you."
"I know," he admitted. "I always knew." He rubbed his hand, gently over her white cotton shirt. "I'm sorry it took so long."
"Dada…" Noah handed him his purple crayon and looked pleadingly at him. "You color…" Elliot turned the page in the coloring book, and worked as hard as he could at coloring in a flower on the page. Then Noah picked up the yellow and handed it to Olivia, "Here Mama…color…" He grabbed the green crayon for himself, scribbling happily across the page.