We stand in awe Chapter 3: Moon River, a glee fanfic

"Tell me, are you happy Shelby?"

Her jaw twitched at the question, eye's falling very slowly to the corner of her eye. It looked for a moment that the brunette was going to break down, but in the very opposite of that, she curled the corners of her mouth, eye's falling shut as she let out a hum.

"No. No i'm not." She nodded, staring blankly in-front of her before turning her face to look the man dead in the eye. "But here's to the day that i might be."

She laughed on last time, a slow and guttural sound before she lifted her drink, pressing the rim of the glass to her front teeth before letting the liquid burn her throat. Happiness wasn't something she was searching for.

8 years ago to date

"I don't think you're understanding me, I can't have her now. It's to fucking early..." A tired and groggy Shelby grit out from behind her teeth, grasping the sides of the hospital bed as she begged to any god out there to bless her with some goddamn powerful drugs.

"Sweetie, it's perfectly normal for young mothers to go into labour early. Your daughter will be just fine at this stage and i'm afraid we've tried all the drugs to stop you from progressing but now there's nothing more we can do." An elderly African-American women soothed the young blonde, the woman's plump stature somehow adding to the soothing process. "Look, up here." The women prompted, rubbing a hand on the girl's lower back as she tapped her finger at the glass of the monitor. "That is one healthy heart beat if I ever so one. She's perfect, dear." The woman smiled, she'd seen many a more young mother's deliver but no matter their age the nerves still embedded themselves into their veins and stubbornly refused to be removed. Gloria watched as the girl before her took a deep, sedating breath, smiling gratefully at the nurse.

"I know...Thank you, ma'am." The brunette nodded her head, swaying her hips gently as another contraction crept up her spine, tightening the muscles in Shelby's lower body and refusing to let go until the moment was over. Shelby bit at the inside of her mouth, enough to draw blood as she let out a guttural moan of discomfort, drawing her mouth into a grimace.

"Come here, darlin' " Gloria hummed, gently grasping Shelby's hands and moving them so the girl could grasp at the bed sheets, bring her head to lie against her forearms as she gently swirling her hands in a soothing motion, helping the woman sway her hips to ease the pain.

The teen muffled a whimper as she tucked her head up and into her chest, taking a deep breathe as the pain flushed over her, leaving her exhausted and weak.

"Is there anyone you want me to call? I heard your Mama's gunna be here any moment, but you don't want anyone else?" The woman asked, extracting a hair tie from her wrist and sweeping back Shelby's mass of hair that had started to matt around her face.

"No. No it's okay." Was the instant reply. Gloria pushed past the bite to the girl's voice, nodding her head solemnly as she walked to sit on one of the chair. She was off her shift in a couple for a lunch break, but the God himself would be the only person who could move her now. Shelby looked up from her position leant across the bed, fluffing up the pillow's Shelby lowered the bed so she could clamber onto it. She spent a good couple of minutes tossing around, fluffing the pillows, taking the blanket off then draping it back over herself, on her back and then on either of her sides before breaking into frustrated tears.

The nurse watched on with a gentle smile at the girl's dramatics, this poor thing had no idea. Reaching over to the bed, Gloria hummed the tune once again, fluffing the pillows back up before tugging at the girl's hospital gown, silently ordering her to lie down, Shelby did so, gratefully. Gloria could practically hear the purr as Shelby settled onto her side, eye's closed as she faced the woman, a hand coming to run over her taunt belly.

"Moon River, wider than a mile,

I'm crossing you in style some day.

Oh, dream maker, you heart breaker,

wherever you're going I'm going your way.

Two drifters off to see the world.

There's such a lot of world to see.

We're after the same rainbow's end- waiting 'round the bend, my huckleberry friend,

Moon River and me."

Gloria sang, her steady voice soothing Shelby into a gentle sleep, the girl's flushed cheeks pressing against the plush bed as Gloria ran her palm over the girl's head.

"Thank you." The teen murmured, wincing slightly as the little girl in her womb pressed her feet to Shelby's ribs, electing a chuckle from her mother.

"Why can't you just be happy with what I have given you?! Goddamn it Shelby." Katherine almost screams at her daughter, thanking the gods above that Rachel is over at a friends. "Why, for once in your life, can't you see that I have given my heart up for your happiness so many times." The elder forces, her words punching every syllable as she waves her arms in motion, bringing her palms over her heart as she looks into the eye's of her daughter. Eyes that have long pasted Shelby's actual age.

Shelby takes a moment, her mothers words seep through her skin, itching as they irritate her veins. "You're a mother. I didn't ask you too, you offered. And as a mother, it is your job. As I hear so often and in your very words, "a mother's job is to make her children happy". So, Mother, i'm so very sorry to inform you, that i'm not happy because you have failed at your job."

Failed. The very word made Katherine's face fall. Time seemed almost in her grasp as it slowed around her head, hearing the words fall from her daughter's lips, knocked the ground from beneath her. Her own flesh and blood. The daughter she'd carried for nine months and 4 days, the daughter she had fed, nurtured and loved, the daughter who she'd comforted when knees were scraped, when hearts were broken and when the early darkness got to much. Her daughter. She had failed her.

"I-I..." The words held her in a trance, shaking her head in a motion of such shear sadness that the walls broke. She wiped furiously at the seeping wetness that had gathered on her cheeks.

"You, you failed me, Ma." The young brunette suddenly, before her very eyes, turned into the little girl, dressed in a pleated skirt and her fathers Iron maiden shirt, looking every bit like a gypsy child, an illusion Katherine found she never wanted to escape from. "And you know what? It's too late to change anything now." Shelby sobbed, viciously pointing her finger at her mother, taking a step forward as she bit at her cracked lips.

"No...No..Shelby...Baby.." Shelby shakes her head violently, her mother's words are like an infection in her ear. Stepping back until her back crashes into the door, her shoulders shake against the door as the hollow of her throat gasps for breath, sweat and tears starting to coat her body. The mother cannot help but weep for her daughter, how long had she been to ignorant as to turn a blind eye to this all? To her own daughter.

The young brunette let's her head hang between her knees, hands scrunched in her hair as she practically drowns herself in her disarray. Her daughter had been leading this war for too long, a war that had sailed seas so rough, it would bring any other person begging, a war that had seen many and possibly to many sunsets. A war so powerful that it had forged a hole in it's very vessel.

"Sweetheart..." Katherine tried once more, but Shelby almost at the instant sound started to growl her annoyance, shaking her head as she ground her teeth together. "I don't know what you want me to say..." The blonde's voice was no louder than the gentle hush of the wind against the window panes outside. Katherine broke the growing silence with a soft chuckle. "Your father would know exactly what to say.."

Shelby slowly, her hair falling thickly around her face as she levelled her eyes, blood shot and ringed with black directly at her mother. "Don't you dare bring his name into this." She snarled, lip curling ever so gently before she scampered to her feet, billowing out of the front room and out the door, leaving Katherine in a crumpled mess on the floor. The mother sighed through her nose, wiping at her face to rid herself of any evidence before standing and reaching the front door, just in time to see her daughter disappear out of view.

Closing the door with a silence prayer, the elder rest her head agains the solid door, deciding to tidy the place up before Rachel got home.

Keeping her mouth in the crook of her elbow, Shelby muffled her retching sobs, hiccuping so violently that it sent a pang of pain to her head. The singer fumbled with her key's, anger blinding her sight as she shoved it into the door, kicking the bottom of the heavy oak before kicking it once again, closing it behind her. She rid herself of her shoes, tripping over some other pair in her dash to reach the upper floors, anger and the heavy dull in her heart leading to frustration.

Cassandra July had her bones jump from her skin as she heard the sound of the front door being slammed shut. Drawing her brow's together in confusion she set aside her papers, her natural sense made her fists clench and her eye's narrow.

"How dare she..How..." Shelby weeped, closing the door of Cassandra's room, her knuckles pressed into the wood as she let her head rest against the cold surface.

Cass let out a gentle sigh, running a hand over her features before taking a stand to her feet and walking over to her best friend, sliding her hands around the woman's waist, resting her chin on the brunettes shoulder, hushing her softly.

No words were needed, no words meant no tears. Cassandra knew Shelby well enough to know that there was nothing she hated more than feeling weak. A trait Shelby's mother had implanted within the brunette at such an early age, Cass closed her eye's against the thought, she couldn't let her anger get the better of her, not now anyway.

"Shhh, you're here now. You're safe." The dancer hushed, pulling away just enough to spin her friend within her arms, gathering the brunette up and placing her within the satin sheets of the bed. It was only then that Cassie could survey the damage. Physically, Shelby's eyes were blood shot and sore, her usually peach lips were cracked, with blood drying in the edge, her hair was limp and darker than it's usual chocolate shade. Emotionally, no more damage could be done at this far stretched stage.

The blonde crawled on her knees before curling into her friend, arms encircling the other as she held onto Shelby's shaking form, every now and again ushering soft words, sealed and promised with a kiss to the singer's exposed shoulder. They would talk. Later.

"Bye Quinn!" Rachel bellowed as she hopped from her best friends car, her glossed pink backpack slung over one shoulder as she slammed the door.

"Bye Rachie! Happy Birthday!" Quinn yelled back, loud enough to earn herself a tap on the leg and a glare from her mother.

Rachel chuckled under her breath, sticking her tongue out to her friend before pulling up her socks and walking into her house. "Mommy! I'm homeeee! Finally."

Katherine composed herself gracefully, sucking in a breath before appearing into the hallway to give her little girl the traditional kiss on the cheek. "Hello birthday princess and tell me, how was your day?" Katherine asked, propping up the girl's shoes and jacket, an infamous show smile plastered on her face.

"It was perfect, did I tell you that Quinn has a dog? He's super duper cute. I mean, he not only does tricks but he also sleeps in their room! Like a real like teddy bear. But for obvious reason having a dog in your room is not good for your health but i mean..." Rachel blurted out, it was a miracle the girl caught a breath between her words. "He's cute." She beamed up at her mother, bouncing on her feet slightly.

Katherine nodded, chuckling ever so slightly at her girl's fanatics. "Mmm, so it was a good day with the Fabrays?" Rachel nodded around a face full of melon, putting her finger up to pause the conversation.

"They also have a pool." She added, juice dripping down her chin and landing on the sequin dress, making Katherine wince.

"I'm sure they do..." She older woman nodded, handing Rachel a tissue. After finishing her slice Rachel frowned, tilting her head as if looking for something.

"Where's Shelby? I have to tell her about something!" Rachel asked, hopping off her stool to go and head up stairs for her sister.

"She went out. I think she had to collect something at her apartment, sweetheart."

"Oh." Rachel sighed, tears already pricking her eyes.

Rolling her eyes gently, Katherine put a hand on the girl's back. "I'm sure she'll be back to tuck you in, okay?"

"Yeah...okay."

"Right, Who's up for some Barbra?"

"Holy Streisand! Me! I am! I get to pick!" Rachel squealed, rushing through the kitchen and into the living room.

You'd better get here before she goes to sleep, dammit Shelby. Katherine cursed, trudging off to find the whirlwind she called a daughter.

"Two more pushes, you hear me. I want you to take a deep breath and then give it everything you got, honey." Gloria urged, keeping the young brunettes legs apart as she coached the soon to be mother along. "That's it, good girl. Keep going."

Shelby girt her teeth together, letting out the most blood curdling scream as she forced down, her body in the constant state of contraction. "I can't." The girl cried, you'd have to have had the best hearing in the world to hear the plea. In spite of her words her body forced down, burning her spine and tightening her middle to such an extent that it almost felt as if she was going to pop.

"I can see some hair, Momma!" Gloria cried out, smiling up at Shelby as the girl pushed down even harder, finally freeing the babies head. "Look, it's a face and a beauty at that!" The nurse cried, helping the young mother to see her child's head.

"She'd beautiful, Shelly." Katherine muttered, her first words of the night, entwining her daughters hands in her own and squeezing.

"Ha...Oh my god..." Shelby marvelled, her body breaking up the memorable moment as the young brunette bore down for what she hoped would be the last time, crushing her mother's hand along the way.

Suddenly a rippling pain, more painful than before surged her body, making her loose her breath and yell that little louder, truly showing off her soprano voice.

"And there.." Gloria stated calmly, gathering up the small bundle of limbs and hair and brushing off the little girl, being rewarded by a scream. "Is your baby."

Shelby had found herself flat on the bed, chest heaving as she tried to regain what little strength she had left, but there, in the moment of flashing lights and beeping and the buzzing, she'd forgotten where she was, singling out a single voice, a cry she had always known. The young mother clambered onto forearms, looking down at the baby between her legs, tiny feet wavering in the air. She let out a single sound, a mixture between a laugh and cry that blossomed from her lips.

The brunette found an ache in her heart, she needed to hold her baby girl, even just for a moment. "Can i hold her?" Shelby asked, eye's dancing from her daughter to the nurse, seeing Gloria hesitate, Shelby was quick to say, "Even just for a second. I understand she needs to go to the NICU. I understand she's little."

Gloria sighed, she couldn't resist that first moment between mother and daughter, she could't deny the look within the mother's eyes. "You're right, she is very little, but you did well kid. Congratulations." The woman spoke, placing the bundle of blankets into the teen's arms.

Shelby let out a sob, a hand coming to trace her daughter's hairline, her nose, her rosebud lips that parted ever so slightly. She was alert but no longer squealing. Shelby couldn't help but see that Rachel's eyes were caught on the light, it made Shelby laugh, already in the spotlight.

She was perfect.

Her baby girl, she'd waited nine months (well almost, it seemed her daughter was nearly as impatient as her mother) for this, to hold her little girl within the wall of her arms. All her promises, the hushed words she had spoken to the bundle in her arms all crashed into this moment.

"I promise." Shelby murmured, pressing her lips to the baby's forehead, relishing in the smell.

Completely oblivious to the moment and eager to tackle her first task, Rachel began to root at the brunette's chest, grunting and squealing slightly.

Without a thought, Shelby slipped her gown off one shoulder, she quickly readjusted herself, feeling tiny lips part for something only she could offer. Shelby had a purpose of protection and nurturance. She was dependent on her mother, and Shelby pledged that she wouldn't let her down.

Shelby crept into the house at a little past midnight, toeing off her shoes before making her way to her room. She chucked down her bag before ripping the layered gear she had put on to battle the weather outside. She slipped on her pj's, gracefully sliding into bed. In the pitch black of her room she had failed to notice the lump in her bed, Shelby let out a small squeak of surprise only to awaken Rachel.

"Shelby?" Rachel murmured, making Shelby's heart clench.

"Shhh, baby, go back to sleep. You scared me, i'm sorry."

"Sing to me?"

"Always.." Shelby soothed, spooning the little girl, relishing in the baby like warmth, Rachel still carried.

"Moon River,

wider than a mile,