Warning: dark scenes ahead. Very dark scenes...

So, Koschei was gone. And the rope was gone as well.

I knew that it must have been in his room.

But that was just as good as knowing that something was lost for good.

I adjusted my pillow and collapsed onto my bed.

I closed my eyes.

No.

I sighed.

No, that wouldn't work. I couldn't just pretend that my legs had been tied up. I couldn't lie still. I needed to be tied up. I was used to being tied up.

I was used to waking up in the morning with an unbearable backache as well.

I sighed and rolled over to one side.

I had to stop it.

I couldn't tie myself up forever. I didn't even know what I did that for, or why I still wanted to do it.

Because it made me feel safe...

I snorted and lay on my back.

No, it just couldn't work like this. It didn't matter why it made me feel secure at night; I needed to feel secure. I needed to feel protected.

I rolled over to the other side and bent my knees.

I sighed again.

No, there had to be another way. I had to find a way of dealing with this.

I got out of bed again and looked around the room for something useful. Well, I guess it wasn't possible to find anything useful in my room. Not after Koschei's possessions had taken control over most of the floor and the small cabinet as well.

The closet wasn't stuffed with useless items; there was nothing useless inside it. In fact there was nothing inside it at all. Just the clothes I wasn't wearing right now.

But I searched through Koschei's belongings nonetheless. There simply had to be anything I could make use of.

I sighed and tossed some books aside which had had most of their pages torn out.

I didn't know what Koschei had planned on doing with them.

But I couldn't believe that there wasn't anything useful. I just couldn't.

I found that the till now spare room beneath my bed had been stuffed as well with books and handouts.

Koschei didn't possess anything apart from paperwork and books.

And most of them didn't even belong to him, I assumed...

It got darker outside. I groped my way through Koschei's unloved belongings. I didn't like the idea that soon I wouldn't be able to see anything that might linger under my bed.

I didn't exactly know what it could have been. But because it would belong to Koschei I imagined it to be small, a very strange colour and be equipped with innumerable small but sharp teeth. And if I was really unlucky it might as well have the same mad face expression as Koschei as well.

I dug out several tomes, scripts and countless writing material and was already halfway under the bed.

I really must have been getting tired.

Things living under my bed... I chuckled.

There was nothing living under my bed. Except maybe for Koschei himself. And he preferred to sleep in my bed lately...

"Can't sleep?"

I winced and bumped my head at the bed before crawling out from underneath and getting to my feet again.

Koschei closed the door quietly.

"I thought you were in bed" I replied hurriedly and brushed the dust off my clothes.

"I thought the same about you" replied Koschei and moved towards my bed.

"You're planning on sleeping in my room again?" I asked and sat down on my bed.

"Just like you do" explained Koschei "But you can't."

He held out one hand. He had my rope with him. Or any rope. I couldn't make out if it had been actually my rope. And I didn't care about that.

"Time to break your habits."

Koschei forced me down onto the bed and spread my legs. He managed to tie the rope around my ankles and forced them apart; he had wrapped the rope around the bedpost and pulled on it; my feet pressed against the cold metal of the bedstead.

Disbelievingly I looked Koschei in the eye.

"What do you think you're doing?" I asked aghast.

"You need to get used to it, Theta" explained Koschei, kneeling between my wide spread legs.

As soon as I'd try to sit up Koschei would push me down into my bed again. I was unable to move my feet, there would have been no sense in trying to free my feet just by struggling against the rope.

But there would have been no sense in attempting to talk Koschei out of trying to break my habit, either.

I lay in my bed stiffly and dug my nails into the sheets.

Koschei placed his hands beside my chest and lay down on top of me, giving me no opportunity to defend myself against him or free me from the rope.

"I thought you had wanted to get tied up" smiled Koschei.

I became more and more uneasy.

Koschei lowered himself on top of me; his thighs between my thighs, chest against chest, his head beside mine. I turned to him slowly. The only thing I was glad about right now was that Koschei wasn't heavier.

"Koschei, please" I breathed in deeply, trying to push his chest off mine, though I knew it would fail to have the desired effect.

Koschei chuckled; it felt as if his chest would merge into mine, deeper and deeper with every breath.

In and out.

In and out...

I held my breath and tried to chase away the disturbing thoughts welling in my mind.

Koschei's face was above mine.

"Koschei that's not very comfortable" I hissed; I looked deeply into a pair of mad eyes.

"Neither is it for me" explained Koschei, pressing his thighs against mine in order to spread my legs even wider "the upper edges of your hip bone are poking me."

He pressed his crotch against mine; I couldn't do anything apart from looking away.

And trying not to puke.

It felt as if my stomach had turned into a knot and tried to digest itself.
To my embarrassment I had come to notice that my blood rushed down to my pelvic area.

I pulled a wry face.

"Koschei..."

I looked at him with pleading eyes. Koschei was still smiling. "We'll try to make the best out of it, shan't we?" he mumbled quietly.

Koschei grew closer. He removed my garment as well as his own.

It didn't feel weird to feel him skin on skin. But it felt weird how it felt.

Or what I felt...

I bit my lip and turned my head aside. I didn't want to feel anything. I didn't know what he was about to do to me and I didn't understand it at all.

I just... didn't know. Anything.

I didn't know anything about anything.

Koschei must have noticed my uneasiness.

"Well, you can at least try to get comfortable" he smiled and grasped my hands.

I felt him moving forward. He pressed his thighs against mine, more brutal than before; more determined...
Our thighs seemed to meld into each other.

Closer... coming closer...

"Koschei, I..."

Koschei pressed his index finger against my lips, still smiling.

"Just close your eyes and count to twenty and it will be over."

I closed my eyes unintentionally and froze, shocked by his remark. I tried not to panic and breathed in deeply.

Koschei kissed my neck and wrapped his arms around my chest, allowing our bodies to merge together. He grunted as I lay stiff and tried to find peace in the moment.

"Alright; make it thirty, then" he added in a lower voice and moved his hands upwards towards my wrists, squeezing them hard and pressing them down onto the sheets.