Thanks again to those who reviewed the last chapter. Again, I know this has been going on forever, and my goal is to finish it by the season premier date of S16. I guess I should get busy and update more often. Anyway...thanks for the motivation to continue. Here is a little more.
Olivia was sitting up in bed, staring at the tray in front of her trying to determine if anything actually resembled food when Maureen walked in carrying Noah. Elliot was behind them, using a walker instead of the wheelchair, letting her know his appointment had gone well. "El…the doctor said you could walk more now?" she asked, putting down her fork and smiling.
"Yes…and he wants me practicing without the walker several times a day too," he said. "He thinks I'll be able to walk on my own in no time."
"He didn't say that," Maureen sighed. "You said that, Dad."
"Well it's true," he smiled, making his way over to her bed and leaning forward to kiss her. "How are you feeling?" he asked.
"I feel okay," she sighed, looking at her lunch on the tray with a disgusted grimace, "But I'd feel better if they took this away. Looking at it is making me sick."
"You need to eat," he reminded her, slowly sitting back in the chair by her bed, annoyed with how tired his legs were already. "Just try a little…"
Olivia ignored his request and looked at her son, clinging to Maureen. "Hey Noah…how's my baby boy? Mommy's missed you."
"Mama sleepy," Noah said tearfully, pointing to the bed. Then he put his arms around Maureen's neck and buried his face in her shoulder, letting his mother know he was mad at her. He didn't like being away from her anymore, obviously a phase he was going through, and it had hurt his feelings when they'd left him with Cragen the night before. Olivia felt awful. Her son was a little boy with his own feelings and it bothered her that she'd hurt him.
"Oh sweetie…" she reached out for him and Maureen carefully sat him on the bed next to his mother, "Mommy isn't sleepy. I just don't feel very good and the doctors are taking care of me….but I missed you so much." She kissed him on the head and ran her fingers through his hair. "I'm glad you're here to see me. Maybe I can come home later today."
"They are releasing you?" Elliot asked in disbelief. "I was sure they'd keep you here for the long haul."
She shook her head, grabbing her jell-o off her tray and dipping the spoon in it, feeding it to her son instead of eating it herself. "The contractions have stopped and the doctor said I'm only dilated to one, so I can go home." Noah reached for the spoon, and she gave it to him, knowing he'd make a mess but happy that he was content again.
"Liv…I'm worried," Elliot admitted. "If you're already at a one, maybe they should keep you. What if your water breaks or something?"
"Dad, lots of women walk around for weeks dilated to one," Maureen reminded him. "You've had enough kids to know that."
"The doctor said he is concerned about my water breaking," Olivia answered. "But only because I have so much fluid that it could be serious for the baby if it happens suddenly and we're not expecting it. It could cause her cord to prolapse and so we have to be really careful. He said if I have any contractions at all, or even feel off, we should get back here as soon as possible."
"Then why send you home at all?" Elliot asked nervously. "We can't control whether or not your water breaks. Honey…this is serious."
"I know," she sighed. "It scares me too, but they need the bed here and we sure as hell don't need a bill for me being in the hospital for weeks. It'll be fine…I'll be careful. He said if my water does break, I just have to stay still and call 9-1-1 and wait for the paramedics. It'll be okay."
"Do you want me to come stay with you?" Maureen asked. "That way if something happens…"
"I think we'll be okay," Olivia looked at Elliot, knowing he wished more than anything that they didn't need help. "But we'll call if we need help. I promise."
"What happened to Cragen?" Elliot asked, changing the subject. He didn't want to admit he was scared to be left alone with Olivia when her wellbeing and their baby's health was so fragile. "He said he'd stay here."
"He did," Olivia insisted, taking the empty jell-o container from Noah and wiping his hands and face with a napkin. The stickiness of the jell-o mixed with the napkin seemed to make a bigger mess and she sighed, "Maureen, can you clean him up please?" she asked, wishing she could get out of bed and do it herself. She regretted not being able to mother her son on her own. Maureen picked him up and took him to the bathroom and Olivia turned to Elliot, "Cragen left about an hour ago…when the doctor came in to examine me. He was tired, and he said he'd check in on us later."
"Why do you think he showed up again?" Elliot asked. "Just out of the blue like that."
She shrugged, "He was back in New York and he wanted to see me." She shifted on the bed, trying to relieve the agonizing pain that had settled in her back and pushing away her tray in the process.
"I wish you'd eat," Elliot said again. "I'm worried you aren't getting enough nourishment to stay healthy…not just for the baby, but for you too."
"I've gained fifty-six pounds Elliot," she felt her eyes sting with tears that she couldn't hold back.
He hadn't realized it was so much, but then again maybe he should have. She was so swollen and miserable. "Honey…if that is why you aren't eating…" he began but she but him off.
"It's not…" she shook her head, "Not really…but I am so big that everything hurts. Even my insides hurt, El. My stomach is squished by the baby and all that fluid, I can't catch my breath even laying down, my bones ache, I'm in constant pain…it isn't that I don't want to eat for her…it's that I really and truly can't."
"Then what are you going to do?" he asked seriously. "You can't go on for weeks without eating, Liv."
"They've been giving me nutrients in my IV," she said.
"But we're going home," he reminded her. "What do we do at home?"
"The doctor said I can continue the nutrition shakes," she sighed. "Even though they're disgusting. Or he said liquid calories would be easier on me than trying to eat solid foods…so broth or nutritional drinks."
"Honey…" he put his hand on her stomach, rubbing gently. "I just want you and the baby to be alright. I'm worried…"
"I know," she let her hand rest on top of his. "I'm scared too…but I promise, any time I don't feel like I'll vomit at the sight of food, I will eat something, okay? And I'll make myself gag down those nutritional shakes and I'll drink as much as I can. The doctor said it would be okay. Hell, I'll probably gain another ten pounds before she gets here," she gave a weak laugh and he knew she wasn't really joking. She was scared to death.
Maureen walked back in the room, holding Noah's hand and walking him over to Elliot, "All cleaned up," she smiled.
"Dada…wanna go home," Noah pulled at Elliot's arm. "Go home now…" he insisted again.
"It's almost his nap time," Elliot said, not really wanting to leave Olivia again, but not wanting Noah to throw a tantrum at the hospital either.
"Take him home," Olivia sighed. "I'll call when they are ready to let me leave."
"I want to stay with you," Elliot insisted.
Olivia shook her head, "I want to get some sleep anyway," she smiled reaching for her son, and Maureen picked him up so she could give him a kiss. Olivia kissed his cheek, trying not to cry at the thought of being left there all alone. She really was tired and she knew Noah needed his nap, and from the looks of it, Elliot could use one too. "I love you, sweet boy," she said.
"Mama...come home," Noah pleaded sadly.
"Mommy will be home soon." She squeezed his chubby little hand and forced a sad smile, "I promise."
Elliot wobbled a bit as he pulled himself up from the chair and took a few unsteady steps toward her bed. He leaned forward, kissing her once more, "Call me…as soon as they are ready to release you," he said. "Maureen and I can come get you."
"I will," she exhaled sharply wishing she could catch her breath. "I'll see you later." She watched them walk out the door, Maureen carrying Noah again and Elliot trailing along slowly behind them with his walker and she was grateful. Things weren't easy, but they were getting through it...at least they had one another.