AN: Just realized that I forgot to put this into the Prologue. I personally hate stories with years in them. Also, because of the interactions I need to change the timeline a bit. Ana and Christian met in 2003/2004. They are currently 32 and 38 respectively. Mia is 31 and Elliot is 41. Taylor is in his mid to late 40ies and Mrs. Jones is slightly older and Elena is the same age as Grace and I'm putting her at about 45 when she started her relationship with Christian. The characters in the other books are the age that they appear in them.

Chapter 1

"What do you want me to say, Ana, when you're ready I might not be waiting?"

Ana sighed as she pushed away from the table and the laptop she had been working on and rose to her feet, stretching. As she did, she was surprised to realize how tense her muscles were, blinking she shook her head in surprise that dusk was settling over the NY skyline outside of the windows of the Fifth Avenue apartment she was hiding out in. "Thank G-d for true friends," she muttered as she headed for the kitchen to make a cup of tea.

As the water boiled, she thought back over the last few weeks. Once she knew that Gideon was on board she had met Ethan for lunch to let him know that she was leaving KMI… "I only wish I had the courage to do the same, Ana," he had sighed tiredly, looking so much older than his years in that moment. "My psych degree is all but useless there…"

"Your parents…"

"It's not my parents who worry me.
Never has been.
I walk and my kid sister is the one who make my life a living hell."

"Like she hasn't already?" Ana had been unable to press him.

Ethan had laughed tiredly at that: "I'd say that I pick my battles, but I've been to tired to fight them for years…"

The whistling of the kettle brought Ana back to the present. With practiced ease, she started to make her cup of Twinning's English Tea. She wanted to tick off the things that she'd accomplished since the plan to leave NY had been put into motion, but her mind kept bringing her back to the day where she started to question every decision she had made in the last ten years…

Ana sat on the couch in the suite as she drank her tea and watched the women of what Karla Montague called the "Sub Club" wondering (1) why had had let on to her date's older brother that she recognized Karla's necklace for what really was and represented and (2) if this group would take away the connotation of the phrase 'sub club' held in her mind due to her knowledge of the version of one Christian's ex-submissives had formed and invited her to join….

At the sound of the suddenly raised voice of Karla's best friend, Cassie, her thoughts crashing into the present and the room.

As Cassie's words and tone crashed over her, Ana found herself on her feet and the only one who wasn't frozen by what was being said. Suddenly, she was unleashing long hidden, if floating to the surface feelings, at the unsuspecting- if not undeserving- younger woman. "What the hell is with supposedly best friends who think they know their college roommates turned bestie better then they know themselves or their hearts?
Newsflash, Chica, she chose to marry him and have a family with him. To have a life with him, probably over your stringent objections.
Karla decided how far their power exchange would go and…"

"You don't know what the hell you're talking about," Cassie spit out.

Ana laughed hollowly: "of course I do. Hell, in many ways I was Karla, only I didn't believe in the love I had with someone enough to hold onto it. I let my BFF in my ear and head and let her convince me I was letting a man control me and plan my life. So I walked away from the only man that I ever loved and let her control me instead.
So yeah, I know what I'm talking about and I'm not letting you do that in even a small amount to her!"

Cassie swallowed pass a lump that was forming in her throat: "am I really…" she directed to her friend.

"Yeah," Karla sighed. "Sometimes it really feels like the reason you say as much as you do isn't that you care about me but that you don't think that I have enough of a mind of my own to know what I want."

"Karla…"

"I started falling in love with Adam when I was 16 and he saved me in that bus station and you need to learn to accept that…"

Finishing her tea, Ana walked back to the table and her writing. She knew she had to reread what she had written, but it was almost too hard for her to do so. Unlike what she had been writing previously, this section was based in truth and not fantasy. This was where her heroine told the hero that she was leaving him and listed off the reasons why, at 22, she wasn't ready to be with him. Where she'd walk away from Tristan, only to make it as far as the garage and car he had waiting to bring her back to her apartment and Kayla's sway before she had her epiphany and ran back to him, begging him to accept not only her apology, but her love as well. And it was from that faithful change that all of her own could've and should've beens would be played out across another novel…

A knock on the penthouse door caused Ana to put off the editing of the section, happily. She wasn't ready to face her past in fiction. "Why didn't you use your key?" Ana asked her friend, Jennifer Kent, when she stepped aside to let her enter the apartment.

"After living with Lisa for so long I know better than to barge in on the writing process. If you hadn't answered on the fifth knock, then I would've barged in," Jen laughed.

"It's not barging when it's your place," Ana countered as she closed the door.

Jen only shrugged as she put her purse down on an end table. "I have to say that I'm surprised you answered so fast."

"Was taking a tea break," Ana admitted as she headed to the sitting area where Jen was getting comfortable. "You alone?"

"Security's downstairs," Jen admitted with a roll of her eyes.

"Ahhh… Tank's off," Ana said well aware of the Wenn Security machine when it came to Jen and Lisa.

"No, Tank is with Alex on their way to negotiations in Seattle of all places," Jen sighed as she dug her Iphone out of her purse.

"Seattle?"

"Yeah. We figured since we're against this guy in a bidding war for a shipping firm in Taiwan but have similar plans it would be beneficial for both of our bottom lines if we consolidated and go into this together."

"We or you?" Ana wondered as she tried to remind herself that although the most prominent, Christian wasn't the only business man in Seattle.

"Well you know," Jen shrugged self-consciously.

"Which is exactly why I asked, because knowing you two it could be either."

"Fine it was my idea," Jen admitted, earning a laugh from Ana. "What? I have to earn my astronomical salary somehow."

"And you're here and not en route with Alex why?"

Jen inhaled and started to fidget: "I'd tell you I just wanted a 'girls night' but you wouldn't buy it any more than Lisa.
So, truth," she admitted a bit shakily as tears formed in her eyes, "we've gotten some threats- ones that have been deemed serious. Alex wanted to keep me out of harm's way, so he insisted I stay here and I only relented when he took Tank instead of leaving him here to guard me," she admitted as she punched one of the throw pillows in frustration. "I swear to G-d, Ana, I don't know what that man is thinking. He knows it almost killed me those weeks I thought he was dead after we were ambushed!"

"That he'd rather you be alive than live without you?"

"You sound like Blackwell," Jen grumbled as a knock sounded on the door.

"High praise," Ana laughed as she went to answer the door. "I'm going to guess that this is Lisa since security didn't call up. I swear I don't know why you guys don't just use your keys!"

"We're not the ones currently living here," Jen chided slightly. "Besides, she has her own detail," she remarked as she went to make martinis for the group. "Oh, Eva's…."

"Here," the woman in question chimed in. "I caught Lisa on the way in," she explained as she and the pettier blonde strolled in. "Luckily, because security here is pretty tight from what I hear."

"Oh?" Ana wondered as she closed the door. "Cary not coming?"

"He has a date- prefer not to know the details," Eva explained as she shrugged out of her light weight jacket. "And as for the 'oh,' Kate's been squawking," she added dismissively.

"Sorry," Ana sighed uncomfortably.

"For what? Your former bestie being a b!tch?" Lisa wondered.

"For unleashing her onto you guys."

"Oh puh-lease, she's been on my case since the day we met," Eva laughed. "And I've dealt with worse."

"That's comforting," Ana sighed as she and the two blondes sat at the bar and she and Eva started sipping a martini while Lisa started to make a second pitcher.

Shaking her head, Eva decided to try to veer the conversation into a different direction: "Gideon hasn't been able to find out much about the person paying those bills you wanted him to look into. "

"Really?" Ana asked , not really sure if she should be surprised or not. She knew that there was only one other possibility for who was paying the bills at the long term care facility. "What did he find out?"

"That the person is near the West Coast and must be worth at least as much as he is- or very good at covering his tracks- if not both."

Ana nodded at that: "Ok, then I know who it is. Tell Gideon I said thanks and that he can stop digging," she replied before popping an olive into her mouth, trying to ignore the fact that the other women were sharing a worried look.

"Well, we've got your cover story in place. If and when Kate realizes you're not here she'll think you're ensconced in Stark Int."

"Of course it will take her time to realize that you're doing PR and advertising got Nikki Stark and not Damien," Jen added, having worked with Alex and Gideon to get a plan of action that was believable into place.

"She goes by Fairchild, not Stark," Ana corrected automatically.

"But Damien would put up her new media person in one of his properties to make her happy," Jen pointed out as she poured herself another martini.

"Also, it's not like Kate's going to figure out you're really living in some barely there on the map town in Co." Lisa jumped in . "And it's not like she cares enough about your love life to draw connections based on three dates in NY plus an engagement party in Aspen to your new friends."

Ana rolled her eyes: "I'm going to work on dinner. You guys want to pick the movies?" she groused as she moved into the kitchen, effectively shutting down the conversation.

"Oh-kay, what did I say?" Lisa wondered one she was sure that Ana was out of earshot.

"I'd guess that the one time Kate was interested in Ana's love life for something then the connections it could get her is the time she ruined it," Jen remarked thoughtfully.

Eva sighed: "you think we're ever going to find out who the one who she let get away was?"

"If I thought it would help I'd have Blackwell try to find out who he is, but for all we know he's moved on. Besides, it's not like we have a whole lot for her to go on," Jen sighed.

"Like that would stop her?" Lisa asked. "Besides, if he's anything like our guys he hasn't…not really," she finished as she poured herself another martini.

"So what do we have to go on? He lives somewhere on the West Coast- or thereabouts. He is probably rich and/or involved somehow with security," Eva remarked as she crossed the room to the entertainment center where she started to look through the DVDs, quickly discarding the Zombie movies.

"Where was Ana from again?" Jen asked as she took her glass and the nearly empty pitcher with her to the sitting area.

"I know she went to undergrad in Washington. I think she might have worked in Seattle before moving here and taking the job at KMI," Lisa told them.

"Seattle?" Jen asked. "Well, that could explain her reaction… no…"

"What?"

"She seemed interested when I mentioned that Alex had a meeting out there."

"Seattle, rich, powerful…" Eva muttered as she looked back at them. "Can only think of one person who that might have fit ten years ago," she mused as she held up two DVDs for the other two women to choose from.

"And if it's who I think it is he's single," Jen said as she pointed to her choice as the same time Lisa wondered: "are you guys gonna fill me in?" at the same time Ana called out from the kitchen: "If you guys are done speculating on my life could one of you help me?" causing Eva and Jen to share a knowing look and shot on at Lisa who rolled her eyes as she headed to the kitchen.

"So how do we prove our theory?" the blonde wondered.

"You have met Barbra, right?" Jen laughed. "I wasn't kidding when I said I was thinking of asking her to look into things," she admitted as she heard Lisa and Ana's voices coming towards them. "I'll talk to her about it when I get into the office tomorrow," she asserted as Ana and Lisa approached with the prepared meals: "so what did you guys decide on?" she wondered then smiled when Eva held up one of her favorite classics. "Nice," she smiled as she placed the plates she carried on the coffee table and Lisa did the same and they continued their discussion of the edits needed on Lisa's latest book and pages for the movie script based on her first.