This story is completely AU. So everything you already know about these characters and this show is wrong. I'm basically borrowing these characters for my own version of their love story.

Is a disclaimer necessary? If I were Milmar you all would get every Caskett wish you ever wanted! :)

Chapter 12

That afternoon when Kate got home from her appointment with Dr. Burke she cuddled up on the couch with one of Castles books and a cup of coffee. She loved his books, and had become so obsessed with them over the past month or so that she had almost read all of them. She was doing anything to be close to him, but she knew that eventually there would be no more books. As she sat on the couch she went back and forth between wanting to call him and wanting to forget about him altogether. She was always trying to forget him, to shove him into the back of her mind, but no matter what she did, she couldn't escape him. She pulled out her phone and went to his contact. Her finger hovered over his contact for a few minutes while she gathered the courage to hit the call button.

After two rings he picked up.

"Hello?"

"Rick."

"Hey…" He said cautiously, like he was unaware of why she might be calling. "Can I help you with something?"

"You didn't call."

"Well, I really didn't know what to say, or if I wanted to say anything." Rick was calm, but she could tell that he was still angry with her.

"I know that what I did was stupid Castle, and I know that I have made so many mistakes. I don't expect you to forget about what happened. I don't want to make excuses for myself, but I'm begging for a chance to talk to you about all of this. I know I don't deserve…." Kate stopped talking as Castle interrupted.

"Okay." He said.

"Okay?" She questioned, not quite understanding what he meant by a simple okay.

"I'll talk to you about it, but not now. I'm about to take Alexis out for ice cream. Maybe sometime this weekend we can meet up and talk."

"Yeah, sounds perfect? When and where would you like to meet?" She asked nervously, trying to push him to set a place and time to meet.

"I don't know, Kate, I'll let you know…" He was annoyed.

"Okay. Well I'll let you go. Have a good day with Lex, tell her I said hi."

"Bye, Kate." He ended the call immediately.

Kate didn't know exactly how she was going to do this, win him back. Rick had already given her another chance and Kate had a feeling that this time wouldn't he wouldn't be as easy to convince. She had messed up terribly, and regretfully. She couldn't take back having sex with Josh. She had to make Castle understand that what she did was not meant to hurt him at all. She had been in a relationship with Josh for years, and it was easy to give into him. Just because they were broken up didn't mean she didn't care for him, she just didn't want to be with him. She made the mistake of letting things get out of control after Josh kissed her. It was a moment of weakness for the person that she had once cared so much for. That's all it was though, a moment of weakness, a moment that would never happen again. She had only had contact with Josh once since that day, over text message. She told him that what had happened was a mistake and that she didn't want to see him again. He agreed that it was a mistake and apologized for showing up to her apartment in the first place.

Kate woke up on Saturday morning, well afternoon around 1 to a text from Castle. It was his first time reaching out to her, and before she read the text message her heart rate had already quickened. She was nervous to open it, but happy that he had actually made contact. She had been having so much anxiety over whether or not he would actually go through with meeting with her.

Dinner, tonight? Alexis is staying with a friend, and I think it's best that we talk privately.

-Castle

Wow! Dinner? She was expecting a cup of coffee maybe, not dinner. The thought of being alone with him during this conversation made her nervous. Maybe he wanted them to be alone so he could yell at her, so that if the conversation got heated that he wouldn't have to watch what he said. Either way Kate knew that she had to play by his rules. She text him back asking what time to be there, and went ahead and got in the shower.

As Kate approached the door, she stopped to look herself over, took a deep breath, and knocked on the door.

When he opened it, his face didn't break. He didn't seem happy to see her at all, which immediately feel like she should just leave. Running from this situation would be so much easier, but she knew that it would only make this worse. She had been missing him, she had been miserable and she had to do something to fix things. Even if he didn't want to be with her she wanted them to be friends.

Rick ushered her in, pointing towards the kitchen where she could see that he was in the middle of cooking dinner.

"Hey," she awkwardly said as she passed him, heading towards the kitchen.

"Hi." He responded.

"Thanks for this, Rick."

"Yeah, well…."

That was his response? She was beginning to get annoyed with him. If he didn't want her here then why did he invite her? Why would he make it seem like he was willing to talk, willing to fix this situation. If he wanted nothing to do with her why would he just say so, and they could both move on. Before Kate sat down at the bar she over at him. He was moving about the kitchen grabbing things from the cabinets. Ignoring everything about her, he had been short with her the whole time she'd been there already.

"Listen, Rick, if you don't want to do this, we don't have to. I was under the impression that you were willing to talk." She said, throwing her hand on her hip, demanding a response of some kind from him.

"Kate, I invited you over here for dinner. You'll get your chance to talk but can we get comfortable first? Maybe let me finish dinner?"

She sighed knowing that she was pushing to much, too fast. "Sorry, I'm just really nervous."

"Well, don't be. Being nervous about talking to me is not going to make this easier Kate." He was stirring the sauce furiously, taking out his anxiety on the spoon.

She walked around the counter to stand by him, stilling his hand by placing hers over his on the spoon.

"Let me?" she asked.

"Yeah, that's fine. I'll start the salad." He rushed away, heading towards the refrigerator.

When dinner was ready, the table set. Kate took a seat, and placing her napkin over her lap. The fettuccini smelled amazing, and she couldn't wait to eat. She had been so nervous all day that she had skipped eating altogether. Now she was sitting in his loft, with the man that she couldn't get out of her mind, about to have an amazing home made dinner. She was dreading the conversation that she knew she had to have but at least it would be done in a calm setting, where they had the privacy that would be needed.

"Rick, this smells great," She said as he approached, placing a plate in front of Kate and then taking a seat across from her, placing his on the table.

"It's my favorite food, a comfort,"

Did he need comfort for this? Was this weighing on him as much as her?

"You can talk whenever ya know." He said, trying to force her to start the conversation.

"yeah… I don't really know where to start. I' ve tried to plan out what I might say, but it's not that easy." Kate let out a sigh, looking down at her pasta. Her stomach was empty but her appetite was gone all of a sudden. She placed the fork down on the plate and looked up at him. The tears were already forming, and she was trying to hold them back, to stop them.

"I'm sorry," she said as she stood from the table, running to the bathroom.

About 10 minutes had passed since she ran from the table, but she couldn't go back. She couldn't face him like this, her face eyes red and swollen, her makeup ruined by tear tracks. She sat on the toilet seat with her face in her hands trying to calm her breathing when she heard him knock softly.

"Kate, are you okay?" he asked

"yeah, I'm fine." She responded, trying to hide the fact that she had been crying.

She heard him reach for the doorknob and turn it. It was locked.

'let me in,"

"No. I'll be out in a little bit." She was trying harder now to keep him away.

"Kate, you wanted the chance to talk to me, I have given you that. I invited you over for dinner, and when I ask you to talk, to speak up, you run away. How is that fair? Is that what I deserve?"

"No, Rick, you deserve the best, and I am not the best. I can't believe how much I've screwed up. I am so sorry for putting you through this, but I think I should probably just go," She was now crying heavier, fighting the tears to get her words out.

"Kate open the door," he said as he wiggled the knob again.. "KATE.."

She didn't say anything, she just flicked the door unlocked, leaving it closed. He heard the door unlock and opened it, walking in and kneeling before her where she was sitting on the toilet seat. He placed his hands on her thighs to get her attention. She looked up at him, her eyes completely swollen. There was no way to hide that she had been crying.

"Kate, stop crying, I'm not mad at you. If I were mad at you, I wouldn't have asked you over, I wouldn't have made you dinner. I know that this is hard for you, imagine how hard this is for me. I feel like you're being a little selfish here, which isn't completely out of character for you at this point." He wasn't teasing, he wasn't being mean, he was just being honest.

"I know, and I'm sorry. I don't want to put you through anymore of this. I just can't stop crying, I'm a coward, and I ruin everything." She said, drying her tears from her face.

"You aren't a coward, you're here right?"

'Yeah… I guess."

"Well then lets go back out here and eat this amazing dinner I made you, and lets talk about this, like adults."

He stood up, offering his hand out to her to pull her up from where she sat.

They sat and began to eat in silence, each stealing a few glances, surveying the situation but remaining quiet. Kate couldn't help but watch him, study him, she was trying to find the words, but she wasn't having any luck. She took a bite, put her fork down, and leaned back in her chair, placing her hand on her stomach and rubbing circles to settle it, she was stuffed already, pasta always did that to her.

"You full, already?" he asked.

"Yeah," nodding. "Rick, why did you invite me over for dinner?" she asked.

"Because you asked to speak with me and I figured that we could do it over dinner. Alexis would be gone, and we would have the privacy to actually talk."

"But, why? I don't deserve your time, and I certainly don't deserve all of this." She spread her arms over the table, displaying the wonderful dinner that lay before them.

"Kate, I know you didn't do what you did to intentionally hurt me. Did it hurt me? Yeah, it did, and I'm not going to lie, I haven't moved passed it. The more I think about what happened, the more I understand that you didn't really do anything to me at all. You and I weren't dating, and we weren't even sleeping together. I mean it was a few dates right? Well, except the night you stayed over. Point is, you were free to do whatever you wanted. Does it upset me that you chose to do that.." he squirmed, mentally disgusted with the thought of her with someone else. "It hurts, it sucks, but it doesn't make me feel any different towards you. You're still amazing, and funny, and smart. You are still Kate, and you make me feel something that I've never felt before, and I think you feel it to. I hope you feel it to."

Kate nodded furiously, a smile forming on her face, "yeah, I feel it"

"I don't really know what's going to happen, between us, I don't even know if there will be an us, but I know that I can't just let it go, let you go. I've decided that I want to give you another chance. I am going to put the past in the past, and I want to start fresh. That being said, I still have a lot of reservations about all of this, and I think we should take things slow. I also don't want to bring you around Alexis anymore, not until I feel like I can trust you not to hurt her." He was being serious, but she could feel the tension disappearing.

"Slow is good, I need slow. What happened in the past was because I didn't take things slow. I should have given myself more time than two days to move on from Josh. To deal with all my emotions about him, and decide on what I wanted. It was irresponsible and immature, and now I have had that time, and I'm ready. I'll give you all the time and space you need." She stood up from the table rounding it, reaching her hand to him and pulling him up from his seat. She threw her arms around his waist, pulling his body tightly against hers in a hug. It took him a minute but he slowly embraced her body, squeezing it tight against his own.

Castle kissed the top of her head and then laid his cheek flat on it.

"Don't fuck this up again please." He joked, letting out a laugh as he said it.

"What I did isn't funny, and I don't want to joke about it, Rick," She pulled back, Taking hold of his hands and looking directly into his eyes. "Nothing like that, will ever happen again. EVER, I promise."

"Okay, good, because this is your last chance," he was stern about it. She didn't care though, because she wouldn't need another chance, she was going to prove to him that this was all going to be okay.

Sorry I haven't updated in a few days, I am on spring break in fabulous Las Vegas.

Thanks for the nice messages from some of you.

Also, I don't mind negative reviews on the story, if you are voicing your likes, dislikes, concerns about the story, I can deal with that. I appreciate it. This is my first story and I will learn as I go. Don't talk bad about me as a person or call me a slut because I made Beckett sleep with her ex boyfriend of a few days. This story is fiction. I am not fiction. I am a real person, with a real life, and a wild imagination. If you enjoy this fic, review, leave love. Everyone have an amazing week, and how awesome was that Castle episode last night. I loved the ending, and the sweet Caskett moments.

I'll try to update as much as possible this week, but it will be a bit slower. When I return home, it will be back in action.