I consider myself lucky. I have an incredible job that I am going to love doing for the rest of my life. And that incredible job, is letting me leave my work…leave the town I have to be in, to work, just to come home and deal with my personal life. They didn't care how long I was going to be gone. They didn't need to know the details. They just bought the plane ticket and reassured me, when I came back, they'd have an apartment set up for me. For me, in my head, that gesture by my work, has made my final decision very simple. When I get to L.A. I'm packing up everything that's important to me, including Logan, and were removing to New York. Full time, to start over completely. I don't care what he says or wants at this point. If our relationship, and our love, is important, he'll leave with me. And if not…we'll I just prefer not to think about that scenario.

I got on the first flight Tuesday morning, after talking to my boss. The best thing about that, was that I wasn't going to be getting on TV anytime soon. I guess I'm more qualified to be an actual journalist so they were going to send me off to different games, different schools to interview players, talk to coaches, which I was excited for. But it's not important. Not when I know Logan isn't okay, and that Logan is having troubles. Getting the second call from Logan on Monday night that he wanted me home and he didn't know what to do, scared me. Of course, Kendall came on and explained he was okay, for now, and that he'd explain everything when I got home, but I still felt like maybe if I hadn't left, whatever happened, or almost happened, wouldn't have happened. I can almost forget about how he almost cheated. Hell I can forget about the stupid fucking flowers. But I will not be able to forget all the bullshit and stress his boss has put him and I through. He won't get away with It, and if it's not me taking care of it, it will be the cops. Either way is fine with me.

I took a cab from the airport to my house. It was almost three in the afternoon, and I didn't know if Logan had gone into work or not, but I assumed not because of how upset he was last night when he called, he wouldn't go into work. And seeing his car next to mine still in the driveway made me feel a lot better. I paid the cabbie and walked up the walkway fast, noticing Kendall's car wasn't here. Hopefully it was just Logan and we could actually sit down and talk about everything. And hopefully he didn't start out by telling me what happened that was so bad last night. Because if that was the first topic, I'd be in my truck, and on my way to kill Louis. And that thought was actually appealing to me, because I wouldn't mind killing him. But even before I could get up the two steps to the front door, it was pulled open hard and fast. I stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and let my bag slip out of my hand. Logan looked destroyed. He looked like he was in pain, horrible, excruciating pain. And it hurt me. As he started to walk out to me the first thing I could think of doing was raise my arms. He looked down and hurried out to me throwing himself in my body. I wrapped around him fast putting one hand on the back of his head, and one in the middle of his back. I gently laid my head on top of his and sighed out gently rubbing his back. "I was gone for a day Loges…"

"I don't want you gone again. I don't want to be apart." He was sobbing, shaking and clutching onto my sweater in the back. I kissed his head softly closing my eyes. "I need you James." I didn't say anything back, right away because of several reasons, one being how happy I was to have in my arms again. But the biggest reason was that Kendall was in the doorway looking like he had gone through hell, and back, without a lick of sleep. He wasn't smiling, nor did he look pissed. He actually looked heartbroken if I had to assume. But he managed a nod in my direction letting me know that above all else, Logan was okay, especially now that I was here. At least that's what I gathered from it. But once I was through talking to Logan, I was going to talk to Kendall, and I was afraid that topic would have something to do with Carlos.

Logan and I got in the house, and after setting my bag down in the living room and taking it all in, to make sure nothing happened at the house I turned to Logan who was staring at me, standing stiff and solid in his spot. I watched Kendall walk into the kitchen, but rather than saying a word to him I walked to Logan, grabbed his right upper arm and turned him dragging him to the stairs. He didn't say a word, or fight me as I carried him up the stairs, unzipping my sweater in the front. When we got to the top of the stairs I let him go and continued to walk to the bedroom. The first step inside a loud high pitched bark flew off the bed followed by a tiny fat little pug. His little curled tail was trying its hardest to wag as he jumped up at my knees, barking and yipping. I bent down and scooped him up, walking to the bed still. I stopped by the edge, let Romeo kiss my face and nip at my skin. I gave him a small kiss to the head before setting him on the bed and taking my sweater off completely. I gently tossed it to the end where Romeo ran, and started to make his own bed with my warm sweater. For a moment, the room went quiet, and I got a chance to glance around and take in my surroundings. The only thing I could think of doing was sighing out and thanking God nothing too serious had happened. But the silence broke just as sudden as it started. "I'm sorry I am a bad fiancé." I smiled, but I wasn't happy hearing it. I turned and gently sat myself down on the bed. I folded my hands in my lap and stared at him in the doorway. "For some reason, my stupid head told me to trust Louis. It didn't mean at any time I didn't trust you. I just had a weird feeling that Louis wasn't a bad guy and everything he had been doing, was purely because he's nice. Even when you saw all the signs, and you tried so hard to tell me, I ignored you and continued to trust him. I should have known, you sent those flowers. But above all that, I should have never done something as stupid, or thought of something as stupid as going to a bar and finding another man. Whatever my head was telling me, I should have never even began to think of hurting you like that. I know you can never forgive for that James, but I love you and I don't want to lose you." I raised one arm fast and motioned for him to come to me while patting my leg with my other hand. He wiped at his face and walked to me slowly. He stopped maybe a foot away, looking down and crying out quietly shaking his head. I set my hand back down and smiled small looking him up and down. I had noticed earlier how fucked up Kendall looked, but Logan was somehow so much worse. He had no injuries, no physical damage. But he looked tired, and worried. He looked stressed out, and the worst for me was how upset he looked. He looked like he was berating himself fin his head over and over, and that maybe he thought he already lost me. Which then made me think something so much worse, worse than I could ever imagine has happened. Maybe something between him and Louis. Regardless, I reached out for him. I grabbed the hem of his shirt and tugged on him making him take a few small steps forward. Both of his hands moved up quick to cover his face but when he was close enough I didn't need to see his face. I continued to hold onto the hem of his shirt while my other hand moved to the back. My hand cupped over his butt, but moved down quick to his thigh. I pushed on it, making him come even closer, so close in fact as I spread my legs, he fit in right between them perfectly and I could press my lisp into his chest. I kissed over his shirt, not that I was complaining. And keeping my lips pressed into his shirt I closed my eyes making my brain remember this exact moment in time. I wanted it to last forever. And the memory only got better when both his hands sat on top of my head and ran through my hair gently. I would have preferred there was no talking but I know my Logan. "I…Kendall kissed me last night. And before you go down there and get all macho man on him, please know I kissed back, but it didn't mean anything. I was scared and freaking out really bad, and I guess he thought the only way to calm me down would have been to kiss me, so he did. It meant nothing." I raised my head fast locking eyes with him. I didn't want to say a word. In fact all I wanted to do was throw him on the bed and kiss him. Trap him under me and kiss every square inch of his body. I don't know what it was that made me go directly to sex, especially because he just told me, our best friend kissed him but sex seemed like the right thing. And really, after we make up and he tells me more details about last night, I might end up in jail, depending on what happens with Louis, so this might be the last time I could ever have sex with him again. Or I was just horny and in love. I'm going with the latter.

I moved both hands to the back of his thighs and raised him quick. He gasped out and grabbed a hold of my shoulders squeezing hard. I turned us, without wasting a second and tossed him on the bed. I tore off my shirt fast, tossing that to the ground and crawled on the bed, over top of him. His hands went to my chest and he stared up at me, with wide eyes as I forced his legs open with one of mine. I set my hands outside his head and took him in completely. His eyes were glistening, and there were still wet marks on his cheek from his tears. His mouth was parted slightly, and his Adam's apple seemed to bounce up and down quite a bit, as if he was nervous. I pushed myself up and grabbed his left hand while on my way up. He pulled himself up while scooting back a little so he wasn't so close to me. I laced our hands together, rubbing his ring finger soothingly. He closed his mouth and let his eyes dart down my naked torso but moved them back up to my face. "I gave you that ring for a reason." He opened his mouth, but I beat him to the punch. "I love you. Nothing can change my mind about that." He closed his mouth again and looked down shaking his head. I bent slightly putting my lips on his, forcing his head up. He pushed into my kiss fast, letting my hand go and putting both hands on the back of my neck. He pulled me down roughly making us lay back on the bed. I held myself up outside his head while his arms dropped from my neck and moved to my belt on my black jeans. His hands were quick. My lips were quicker. I moved down from his mouth onto his neck and sucked, like my name was Dracula. When he got my belt undone, and my zipper and button pulled off and down, he started to push on my jeans and boxers with amazing force. He pushed them down as far as I could let them, but wasted no time in sliding his hands on and over my ass digging his fingertips into the skin there. I gasped out, raising my head. Furiously, and not so gracefully I started to push off my shoes while he raised up slightly to kiss all over my neck and chest. I kicked both shoes off and tried taking my socks off, but I was pushed. Hard, onto my side. I laid flat on my back quick grabbing my jeans and boxers and pushed them off the rest of the way, along with my socks, all the while watching Logan rip off his shirt and pull off his sweats. When my clothes touched our bedroom floor I laid back down and sighed out hard grabbing my dick. I started to stroke it, slowly taking in his naked form as it started to appear before me. While he sat back and pushed the sweats and socks off I smiled to myself and closed my eyes. "Is this healthy? I mean…we obviously have a lot we need to talk about and yet were having sex." I got no response which I was grateful for. This was not the time to start talking. I did however feel his hands on my chest rubbing a little before moving down my stomach and pushing my hand away from my cock. I opened my eyes then and watched with pure excitement as Logan grabbed my cock and started to suck said cock. I looked a for a few seconds, raising my head off the bed but after the fourth bob up I groaned out loudly and put my hand son my face laying back down. I ran my hand sup through my hair and gritted my teeth so I wouldn't yell out to loud and let him suck me with precision and talent. Sometimes I found it hard ot believe he could take all of me in his mouth but I never question him or his lack of gag reflexes. And usually he gives me a blow job until I burst because usually it doesn't take long. But this one wasn't long and I didn't come. He pushed off me, while still keeping a hold of my dick. I opened my eyes and got up on my elbows just so I could watch him. I figured out he only sucked me, until I was hard, because he was climbing on top of me while still holding my rock hard dick. When he was over top of me completely and started to push me inside him, bareback, I lifted my legs and set my hands on his thighs, lying back on my back. We both obviously needed this, so I took the tempo into my own hands and pushed balls deep inside him just as my tip entered. He moaned out really loud and slumped forward. He set his forehead on mine with his hands outside my head and let me hit into him, hard and fast, while holding onto his thighs still. He remained perfectly still as I slammed into him without mercy, and more surprisingly he remained quiet. We held eye contact, but after a while he started to get too much for him and he closed his eyes, groaning quietly. I must have hit his prostate because he moved his hands to my head and held onto the bottom of my ear lobes and squeezed his legs into the sides of my body. But with his eyes closed I looked around him quickly noticing the bed room door wide open. I laid my head back closing my own eyes, hating that I need to wrap this up fast, just in case Kendall came up to check on us, to make sure we weren't killing each other. Between our grunts and our bodies smacking against each other, I swear I heard a thud from down stairs but ignored it because I was inside the love of my life and I was seconds away from cumming. And when I did cum, I heard him whisper in my ear he loved him, while I also felt spurts of his seed hitting my bare stomach.

I vaguely remember him getting off me and running tot eh bathroom, or when he did. I remembered the cold of the wash cloth on my stomach as he cleaned me off, but I kept my eyes closed and my body completely still. It was only until he was back on the bed, next to me pulling me so I was lying on my side facing him, that I opened my eyes. When I did, I situated myself a little better and lifted my arm, he dove in quick and snuggled against me kissing along my collar bones. I gently held around his back tracing small designs with my fingertips and stupidly opened my mouth. "So…was he a good kisser?" There was a soft sigh after he pulled away from me. He stayed relatively close but his lisp were off my skin. "I don't even care about that Logan. But is that why you wanted me home?"

"No. We went to my work last night…my stupid head was acting up again and I had to know the truth about the flowers. I saw the packing delivery sheet, and saw that Louis signed off on them, which would explain why they said they were from him. He probably just took off your note you sent with them and wrote his own." I gritted my teeth again but stayed quiet as he sighed and scooted closer hugging me loosely. "Well even before I could see the paper, Louis and Henry came in the office, and because we were in Louis's office, we had to hid so we wouldn't get caught. We got in his closet he has in there and I was so freaked out Kendall had to cover my mouth. I think they reason they were there was so Louis could shred or take the receiving sheet so I couldn't see it. He didn't want me to find out the flowers were from you, and I know that because they started talking. Henry was complaining that Louis was spending too much time on…me and then he said some other stuff but the point is you were right, you have been right all along and I'm an idiot for thinking otherwise. If this is the part that you leave me because you deserve better, I understand. I'm not happy about it but I understand." I laughed quietly pulling him in closer to me biting on the bottom of his ear lobe. "I'm going to quit. I think it's the easiest way to handle this and if I quit now, nothing more can happen and maybe we can go back to New York and I can get a job there. I mean…I want you to have your job and since I am awful at picking a job for myself this could be…" I covered his mouth fast with my hand and got up a little over him shaking my head. He frowned and bit at my palm but I kept my hand over it and yawned before sitting up completely. He wasn't far behind but he got on top of me facing me while letting his arms hang off over my shoulders. I sighed out and gripped his hips kissing him once, softly.

"We will have an apartment set up when we go to New York. I'm going to be making a shit ton of money. I mean…a shit ton. If you don't find a job right away, it's alright. And…when you quit, I'm coming with you." He opened his mouth fast to protest but I raised my eyebrows and shook my head. "Logan…considering everything that has happened, and how well I have handled all of it, with not hitting that guy in the face with a hammer, I think I deserve to actually be there with you. I won't do anything but I have a few things I want to say to him, and regardless of you wanting me too, I going to. And whatever I saw, I don't want you to intervene. Just let me be the big protective teddy bear you love so much, and we'll be done. Alight?" He kept his mouth hanging open for a few more seconds as his eyes scanned over my face. After a minute or so he closed his mouth, turned his head and nodded quickly. I smirked, leaning in and kissed his neck hard, sucking along with it. He groaned quietly pushing away from me and jumping off my lap, right to his clothes on the floor.

"Come on…I think you should talk to Kendall…him and Carlos aren't doing so well." I frowned standing up and grabbing my jeans and boxers. I pulled them and walked to the closet grabbing a plain black and white flannel shirt pulling it off the hanger. I turned back to look at Logan and watched as he grabbed my shirt off the ground and pulled it on his body. I smiled, buttoning up my shirt in the front and smiled even bigger when he pulled on his sweats and turned to me. He gave a cute half smile and put his hand son his hips. "You were gone for a day, almost two…and I fell apart." I walked to him slowly watching him bit his bottom lip. "Lesson learned alright. Don't leave me again." I kissed his head gently wrapping an arm around his lower back.

"Deal." He hugged me quick and let me walk us out of the bedroom, him backwards. I turned him when we got to the stairs but still held around him as we bounced down the stairs, all smiles. However, getting off the last step, was as far as I could go. Logan slipped through my hand as he started talking, probably to Kendall. But Logan wasn't seeing what I was seeing. In the middle of the dining room, two chairs were knocked over, along with a glass of what looked like cranberry juice. My eyes went to Logan who walked right into the kitchen opening the fridge. But something was bothering me, and it just wasn't the two chairs knocked over or the spilled drink. It was that Kendall was nowhere to be seen or heard.

"Kendall? He must be in the bathroom…regardless…" Logan stopped, a soda can in his hand, just as he was walking out of the kitchen. He wasn't looking at me, but rather at the living room, which was being blocked from my view. "Ken…" He set his can on the counter closets to him and started to walk slowly. I walked fast and turned into the living room, before Logan could get to it. But again I was stopped, this time by seeing Kendall on the floor next to the coffee table, on his stomach. He wasn't moving and It didn't oak like he was breathing. I could see In his right hand something that looked like an inhaler. But it was barely in his grasps. "Kendall…" I was gently pushed aside as Logan walked in and gently fell to his knees by our friend's unmoving body. I saw him put a hand on Kendall's neck, which then led to a loud gasp. "He's not breathing James…help me…help me turn him over." My legs moved me faster than my brain had time to think. I was kneeling beside Logan and without and struggle I turned Kendall onto his back staring at his pale face with an open mouth. "God…we need to sit him up. I need…I need to puff some of this into his mouth…please James…" I went to work quickly by pulling Kendall up and getting behind him. I held the back off his head as Logan took the inhaler looking thing form his hand. "I think…I think he had a heart attack…I'm not sure…but if he did this might not help…or it might…I…I don't know."

"Loges…it's alright…just do it." We looked at each other for a moment before he opened Kendall's mouth fast and put it to his mouth. He gave one push onto the button on the top and I think both of us, took in a hard deep breath. Kendall remained completely still. I swallowed hard, wondering if I was holding onto my dead friend's body, just as Logan pushed the button again. This time Kendall jolted in my arms just to fall back against me, coughing and wiping at his mouth. Logan sighed out hard wiping at his face and reached for Kendall's phone on the table. He did something fast, dialed a number, and put it to his ear motioning me to lay Kendall down, flat on his back. I did keeping one of my hands under his head and stared at his face, as it twisted into pain. I glanced between Logan and Kendall, not sure which one I was more worried about.