My third take on the New Intros theme... from the TFF Thread

Kakashi looked in on his students and froze.

Pinky and Emo-boy looked normal... well, as normal as genin get, anyway. Kunai, shuriken, leg holsters and hip pouches... all the normal shit shinobi carried.

The blond, however... did not look like a shinobi.

Dressed in faded bluejeans, a dusty-gray button down shirt, and wearing ... well, it looked like a traditional field worker hat, but the edges were flat, with the middle pushed up like a bottle... It looked like it had seen better days, whatever it was. His blonde hair was visable only at a side view.

Around his waist were twin belts, with little... okay, it looked like senbon holders, but they were too wide, too thick to be so. In them there were some sort of metal items; he couldn't tell what they were, but he didn't like them.

Over his hips, however... those contraptions were the strangest things Kakashi had ever seen. Curved, thick metal _things_, thick at the top - where they rested near Naruto's hips - and long at the bottom. They ended in a long tube, though for what purpose, he couldn't guess.

Ah well. He could find out about them later. Right now, he had a team to fail.

"Roof. Five minutes."

After the girl and stone-face introduced himself, Kakashi turned to Naruto. "You next, blondie."

Naruto stood up, hands remaining near his strange weapons. "Name's Uzumaki Naruto. Likes? Good smokes, good food, good traveling companions. Dislikes? Traitors. Fools who try to pretend, to deny they aren't what they know they are. Servants of the Crimson King.

"Dreams? To find one of the many Wizard's Glass' and use it to find the way to the Dark Tower. Once there, I will lay my guns at it's base and cry the names of all those who helped me get there. Then I will enter, and climb all the way to the top, where I will find a way to repair the crumbling Beams and keep the world - *all* the Worlds - from falling into the Darkness."

There was silence... then Sasuke scoffed. "What the hell have you been drinking, dobe?"

There was the sound of an small explosion, then silence again. A few moments later, Sasuke's hitai-ate fell off, the knot in the back severed, the cloth blackened.

Kakashi and Sakura looked at Naruto in horror. The tube of Naruto's weapon - 'His gun,' Kakashi recalled him calling it - was smoking. Naruto held it pointed at Sasuke for a few more seconds, before holstering it.

Kakashi never even saw him draw it.

Naruto grinned. "Say something, asshole?"

Sasuke took this oppertunity to wet himself... before he passed out.

[From later on in the story...]

Sakura held the gun loosely. "Are you sure about this, Naruto? I mean, I may have gotten lucky back on the beach..."

The blond standing crouching next to her smiled. "No, Sakura. There was no 'luck' involved. I've been doing this a long time, and even if I hadn't, I'd still recognize a fellow Gunslinger when I saw them. Now quit doubting yourself, and recite the Litany."

Sakura still looked doubtful, but did as he asked.

Gripping the gun, she took aim at the deer several yards ahead.

"I do not aim with my hand; he who aims with his hand has forgotten the face of his father.

I aim with my eye.

I do not shoot with my hand; he who shoots with his hand has forgotten the face of his father.

I shoot with my mind.

I do not kill with my gun; he who kills with his gun has forgotten the face of his father.

I kill with my heart."

"*Then SHOOT! SHOOT, FOR YOUR FATHER'S SAKE!*" Naruto yelled at her.

The deer, startled by Naruto's yell, moved to run.

Sakura's mind was faster.

The deer dropped dead before it had the chance to go more that 3 feet.

They would have meat tonight.

Yes, a Naruto/Dark Tower cross. Blame Dr. Destructo. He wrote an Evangelion/Dark Tower cross once, though only one chapter.

Think about it! Konohamaru as Jake! Gamakichi as Oy! Sakura as Odetta/Detta/Susanah! Shikamaru as Eddie! Chouji as Henry, Eddie's addict brother! Pein as the Wolves of the Calla! Madara as Richard Flagg, the Walkin' Dude!

The EPICNESS!