Every officer I walked past was giving me a smile. No one in here was giving me a hard time. For the three hours I had to wait in that cell, no one said a word to me. They all knew. Every single one of them knew why my hand was busted and my knee was a little jacked up. Even if these guys, the ones who were in the cells with me, knew I was gay, none of them cared, which surprised me. Jail is the one place were gay men, are easily targeted. But I guess word got around about why I was there…beating the shit out of a guy who liked to hit abuse and…yeah. I guess that makes me like a superhero or something. It made me untouchable. And finally being released from jail, every guard I walked by, gave me a smile and a slight nod. I got my necklace and Logan's engagement ring back. I have been holding onto it since Carlos gave it to me in the hospital. And then I was escorted out of the jail and walked out into the dark parking lot. I spotted Kendall's car and walked to it briskly seeing him sitting on the hood sipping form a large Starbucks cup. When I got closer he slid off the hood and smirked reaching behind him an grabbing another cup. "Hey Mayweather." I smiled and took the cup form him downing at least half of it. I was parched, but only because I was nervous. I wanted to see Logan. "I fear if I hadn't pulled you off him with the help of those cops I wouldn't have been able to bail you out." I frowned walking to the passenger door and got in while he did.
"No one should have pulled me off. You should have let me kill him."
"Ahh I see. So you are mentally unstable." I turned to him fast and he slammed his door sliding the key in the ignition. Before turning the car on, he turned to me shaking his head. "Couple things…you see this?" He pointed to his bruised, and swollen jaw on the right side. "I wanted to kill him to. I want him dead actually. But I know if I had done serious damage to him, not only would I have ruined the rest of my life cause it would be spent in prison, I would ruin Carlos's, and maybe even you and Logan. There are more important things in this world then getting revenge. I mean the guy tied me up and hit me. I want him dead too. But you need to be here for Logan, and you can't be there for him if you are sitting in a prison cell." I sat back against my seat and sipped form my drink slowly. "He's safe now James. He's going to stay safe. Just…be with him and don't think another second about that scum bag alright?" I nodded looking out my window and he started the car. "Carlos said he's been pretty quiet, not really saying much to anyone. He isn't eating all that much either. He isn't complaining about pain thought which I guess is a good thing." I nodded again knowing why he wasn't complaining about pain wasn't because he wasn't feeling much. He just didn't want people to worry and I know the first conversation we would have when I saw him would be him asking me to get him out of the hospital. For a guy who loves medicine and anything to do with medicine, he hates hospitals. One of the reasons he didn't go to med school.
The jail is so much further away from the hospital then I ever realized. I was a little impatient, I'll admit, but the distance is really astonishing. It was a little after midnight when we finally got to the hospital, and I wasn't sure if they would let me in to see him. Visiting hours might be over. But Kendall walked me through the hospital like he owned the place. And when we finally stopped in front of a door, he pushed it open, not knocking or waiting for a doctor to say we could. I almost pushed him down just to get in the room but just as I saw Logan and opened my mouth Carlos jumped up from his seat and walked to us putting a finger on his lips. "He just fell asleep. He tried to fight me, the doctor, the pain medicine, but he fell asleep. He needs it." His voice was soft and very quiet making me nod and slowly and quietly walk to the seat Carlos was just in. I thought it was going to be easy to see him, knowing he was finally safe and with me, but it wasn't. It actually was really hard to see him. He looked scared still. He was sound asleep but I could tell how upset and afraid he was. And I could easily tell he was in pain. I just knew him. It hurt me so bad to see the cuts and bruises, but it was worse knowing there was knowing I could have down to fix all of it. And there probably won't be anything I can do to make him feel better. Ever. "Hey baby…take me to get some food? I'm hungry and James probably is too, so let's…let's give him some time." I saw Kendall wrap around Carlos and both headed to the door. "Love ya you big lug! Call us if you need us." I only nodded scooting to the edge of my chair and gently setting my hand on Logan's. I heard the door close softly but only cared about the pale face of the love of my life in front of me. I carefully laced two of my fingers with him and raised my other hand to his head. As soon as my hand touched his forehead, his eyes opened. I pulled away from him, worried I had hurt him in some way. He smiled at this and slowly looked around the room.
"Gosh I thought they would never leave."
"I thought you were asleep." He chuckled and rolled his head softly to me shaking it.
"I closed my eyes and breathed heavily so my doctor and Carlos would think I was, so when you came, it could just be me and you." He was talking with a slight slur and he wasn't really making any sense so I knew the medicine was at least working. "Did it feel good?" I gently set my hand back on his and again reached up to touch his forehead. When I did he closed his eyes and turned his hand palm up lacing our fingers together. He squeezed gently. "Did it feel good James?"
"Did what fell good?"
"Hitting Louis." I swallowed hard and looked down at our connected hands.
"Did it feel good hitting Henry?"
"No." II looked back up at his face and gently stood up. I let his hand go, put both my hands outside his head and leaned down gently kissing his nose. "I'm no good anymore." I moved my lisp to his forehead, squeezed my eyes shut hard and clenched the pillow case under his head. "I'm no good for you anymore. I'm not worthy of you anymore. I fear I never was worthy of you."
"Logan you need to sleep." I pulled away fast and sat back completely in my chair wiping under my eyes not looking at him. "You're medicine is making you talk like this and I don't like it, so just get some sleep and we'll talk in the morning."
"James tell me you don't want me anymore, and tell me I'm no good, because I know that's what you want to tell me." I turned to him fast and saw I wasn't the only one crying. "Tell me I disgust you, and I'm worthless! Tell me I deserved everything I got!" I jumped up fast and reached down for his shoulder. He gasped, shut his eyes and cried out loudly. I backed away quick and ran into the chair making me sit back down. "Tell me you don't love me!" He wiped his face roughly, making him hiss at the pain of touching his cuts and bruises. "Tell me!"
"I love you Logan." My voice was calm and cool compared to Logan's which was high, loud and hurt. My voice made me look to me and cry more quietly. "Everything that man said to you, did to you was to break you down and hurt you. He succeeded." He turned away from me, actually turning his body and cried out. "But everything I do for you, I say to you, is to make you happy and to build you back up. I love you Logan, nothing, especially what the sick fuck did, is going to change how much I love you. SO you're…you're just going to get some sleep and you're going to get better and then we're gonna get married. Just like you said. We'll go up to that lake and we'll get married and then we'll live the rest of our lives together, okay?" He cried again, sobbed, but he nodded his head I got up slowly and even slower I walked around his bed and got right beside him, facing him. I dropped to my knees gently and set one hand on the side of his face and grabbed both his hands with the other. We locked eyes and he sniffled, calming himself down. He pulled one of his hands out form mine and put it on my face cupping my cheek gently. "I love you Logan." He closed his eyes scooting closer on his bed to me. I leaned in kissing his forehead gently, but slowly leaned back on my legs. My knee hurt and I was a little hungry, but watching him wipe his face, yawn a little and snuggle onto his bed. I gently laid my head onto his arm and closed my eyes, also yawning. I knew in my head, it was going to be a long process of fixing him, but I was willing to do it. All in the name of love.
I fell asleep hard. And way too long. I at first did nothing when I woke up, mostly because my body was sore, and my heart, my chest, felt heavy. I kept my eyes closed and let the soft warm hand running through my hair, wake me up a little. I knew it was Logan's hand and I knew if I made one sudden movement he would know I was awake and I would have to face him again. Except this time I would probably have to hear about what happened to him, by him. It was hard enough hearing it from the cops and Kendall. Hearing Logan say it would be hell. "Seriously…we should wake him up. His knee is already fucked up and this is probably making it worse."
"Leave him Kendall. He looks peaceful."
"He's going to be sore." The room went quiet and before either of them could say another word I woke myself up. I raised my head slowly and of course heard my back crack in about five different places. It probably wasn't the best idea to sleep on my knees, my legs bent, on the floor with my shoulder and neck bent, lying on Logan's bed. But you live and you learn.
"Good job punk. You woke him."
"You were talking just as loud as I was." I grinned looking at Logan's face which was still in the same position form last night. He was on his side still with one hand under his head, while the other stayed on my own head. "I love you buddy, but you snore. Bad." I flipped Kendall off over my shoulder and very carefully I pushed myself up, yawning. "There are some doughnuts over there, and a cup of coffee. Black. I know how you like it." I leaned down kissing the side of Logan's head softly and closed my eyes inhaling quietly. "So Logan broke Carlos down. He's having him ask if he can leave today."
"Kendall you said you wouldn't rat me out." I pushed myself back up and smiled softly down at Logan who was holding around one of my arms. He wasn't looking at me, probably because he thought I was going to get mad at him. Like last night, when I went to grab him. He backed away and cried out, as if I was going to hit him. That killed me. And it killed me to know I was going to have to very gently and careful around him. At least until he got back to being my Logan. "I just want to go home."
"You don't have a home." I turned fast and glared at Kendall who looked around fast realizing what he said and looked at the floor blushing. I gracefully lifted my foot and kicked his shin making him look at me. "I'm going to go help Carlos convince the doctor to let you leave, and then we'll take you guys to our house." I continued staring at him as he walked out of the room quickly, leaving the door open. When I looked back at Logan his eyes were closed and he was tracing a little design on my arm he was still holding onto.
"I don't want you in here either." He turned to me fast and I smiled small. "But if the doctor thinks you need to be in here a little longer, I want you to. I just want you better and I know being here can make you better." He closed his eyes again and laid back letting my arm go. I sighed softly and straightened out completely stretching my back a little.
"Mr. Garcia!" I turned to the door and watched Carlos saunter in all smiles. Behind him looked an irritated doctor and behind him was Kendall, who was also all smiles. "I understand your worry for Mr. Diamond…"
"Actually I don't think you do." Carlos sat on the edge of Logan's bed and stared the doctor down. "He hate sit here, he fights you on everything you say because he knows how to make himself better, so why not let him go home where he's happy and corporative?" The doctor stared at Carlos before turning to me. I smiled and extended my hand, letting him shake it.
"The fiancée right? James?" I nodded again and he sighed out walking to the other side of Logan's bed and setting his clipboard down. "Well James, my name is Doctor Michael Stormfeild and I have been taking care of Logan." Logan rolled onto his back and looked up at his doctor with pleading eyes. He wouldn't look at me. "It is my professional opinion that he needs to be in this hospital bed for at least another week."
"Dr. Stormfeild…" Logan tried pleading but the doctor shook his head.
"Logan you need to heal properly." I cleared my throat softly grabbing Logan's hand whether he liked it or not.
"If I may…I mean…you technically have no right to keep him here. He's not in critical condition so he doesn't need to be here." I saw Logan turn to me and smile small. I squeezed his hand and shrugged. "Myself, my friends, and Logan's infinite knowledge on health and medicine, can help Logan get better. I know if something is seriously wrong with Logan, I'll bring him back. And if you want we can come back when you want him to, to do a checkup. But Carlos has a point. He isn't happy here, or being corporative. So why don't we just help everyone out in the situation." The doctor glanced around the room, looking at all of us. He stopped on me grabbed the clipboard and shook his head.
"You guys have been through hell. I can see that. I'm a doctor, I try to make people feel better. And if I can't' do that, then I guess…I have to let someone else try." My hand was squeezed gently and I looked down at Logan as the doctor started to write something. "I'm going to write up three prescriptions for you, get your ribs better wrapped and then you will be released in an hour. And I'm going to get these written up." He walked to the door and stepped out quick, grumbling to himself. Logan smiled big up at me and pushed himself up in his bed.
"Thank you James. You know I don't like hospitals." I nodded softly and watched him take a cup of coffee from Carlos. He had a smile on his face as he sipped his hot coffee but I knew better. I knew something was off, in his head. He was not the same Logan I knew and I don't know when I'm going to ever see that same Logan again.