=/\=

Chakotay stood with his hands in his pockets, he hadn't seen Kathryn since their dinner at her apartment. He had spent the week confirming arrangements for a new position at the Academy and despite attempts to catch up over lunch, he had been thwarted at every turn. He wasn't sure if she was avoiding him on purpose.

Their dinner the week before had been reminiscent of the many times on Voyager when, with no emergency or red alert, they had been able to indulge in wine, laughter and friendship. He had flirted shamelessly with her and she had flirted right back. He regaled her with stories of his time on Trebus and she had made him laugh as she described her many nights spent with the Parises during his absence. It had given him hope, only to have that hope turn to dust when Ramirez had returned to Kathryn's home. Chakotay had not stayed long after, despite Kathryn and Ramirez's protestations and he wondered just what would have happened if Ramirez had not returned.

He watched her now, she hadn't spotted him yet, making her way around the various starfleet dignitaries on Ramirez's arm. She looked magnificent. And he couldn't deny that they made a handsome couple, but she had shown him just enough that other evening to make him think that perhaps all was not as it seemed. Gone was the feeling of unease that had surrounded him when they returned home and instead his mind was focused. Confident. Captain Chakotay had a mission, and he intended to see it through to the end.

He moved down towards Troi and Riker as they were greeting guests to their evening reception, "Congratulations Counsellor." Chakotay said to the blushing bride, pressing a kiss to her cheek.

"Thank you Chakotay, I was so pleased that you were able to make it."

"I wouldn't have missed it for anything. Commander, congratulations." Chakotay said as he turned to Riker.

"Chakotay! How many times do I have to tell you, it's Will."

Chakotay acknowledged the Commander's comment with a smile and a slight nod, "Will, you are a very lucky man."

"I know," Riker replied as he tightened his arm around his wife's waist, "It's been a long time coming and believe me I am going to appreciate every second of being with this amazing woman."

Troi looked at her husband with open adoration and Chakotay felt his heart squeeze, half in happiness for his former student and half in envy at their obvious devotion to each other. He was about to move on when Riker's attention moved to behind Chakotay, "Talking of amazing women, Admiral Janeway! Come and give this old married man a hug!"

Chakotay raised his eyebrows as Kathryn made her way to Will and Deanna, hugging both in turn before stepping to Chakotay's side, "You never change Riker, a few minutes married and still a shameless flirt."

"Only because I know from bitter experience that my charms have no impact on you!" Riker said laughing and Chakotay looked at him in curiosity.

"I once asked the dear Admiral on a date many, many years ago and she blew me out." Riker clarified.

Chakotay watched as Kathryn rolled her eyes and Troi playfully swatted her new husband, "What?! It's true she did, and I'm sorry Kathryn it is too late now, I'm taken." Riker said smugly as he kissed his wife's hand.

"I'm heartbroken. Truly." Kathryn said dryly.

"Come on you, stop embarrassing our guests we have a first dance to complete." Troi said as she pulled her husband away with a wave to the former Voyager command team and moved towards the dancefloor.

"He doesn't change." Kathryn said as they watched Troi and Riker ready themselves for their first dance.

"Did you know him well in the Academy?" Chakotay asked.

"Only by reputation. Hence why I 'blew him out'. He was quite the lothario, I'm amazed I am actually at his wedding." Kathryn smirked.

"No regrets?" Chakotay asked with a smile.

"Oh gosh no. Not my type."

Chakotay found that hard to believe, given her 'friendship' with Sean Ramirez and raised his eyes at her, "You surprise me, given your date this evening?"

Kathryn turned to him with a questioning look, "Sean?"

Chakotay nodded, "He reminds me of Riker."

Kathryn's eyebrows raised further as she looked towards where her 'date' was holding court with Picard and Beverley Crusher.

"You think they look alike?"

"Ramirez is slightly more exotic but in personality…they are similar you have to admit."

Kathryn looked surprised by Chakotay's statement, and then laughed lightly, "I suppose you are right, I've never thought about it but yes there are some…similarities."

Chakotay swiped a glass of champagne for him and Kathryn as a waiter passed by and took a swig, momentarily wishing it was something stronger. His attention turned to the dance floor as Riker and Troi swirled around in perfect harmony.

"Did you bring a date this evening Chakotay?" Kathryn asked and Chakotay swallowed deeply.

"Who would I have brought?" He asked with a chuckle.

Kathryn shrugged, her attention still on the dance floor.

"So are you happy?" He asked nervously.

"What?" Kathryn asked, finally turning back to look at him.

"You and Captain Ramirez?"

Kathryn tilted her head, "He's a good friend."

"That doesn't really answer the question."

"Just what are you asking?" Kathryn asked with a smile around her glass as she took a long drink and Chakotay felt the heat rise to his face. Damn her and her way of answering a question with a question.

Before he could answer her, the band asked for other couples to join the newlyweds on the dance floor and Chakotay could see Sean Ramirez headed in his and Kathryn's direction. Without thinking it through he took Kathryn's champagne glass from her hand and set both glasses down on the table beside them.

"Dance with me?" He asked.

Kathryn, still looking far too smug for his liking, just grinned at him and nodded. He heard her laughing as he all but dragged her to the dance floor leaving Captain Ramirez in their wake.

As he took her in his arms he thought about the last time he held a woman on the dance floor. Despite his uncertainty about Kathryn's potential relationship with Ramirez, he was feeling a lot more secure in himself than he did then. He drew her closer to him and inhaled a breath, she centred him like no one else. She was the most infuriating woman he had ever met but as he twirled them both around the dance floor he had never felt more at peace. He never wanted to let her go.

As the song came to a close he felt her pull away slightly but he kept his arms firm and only allowed her enough space to look up at him. The next song was slower and more intimate and he challenged her with a look. The smug smile she had been sporting changed as she met his challenging gaze with one of her own.

"Are you happy, Kathryn?" He asked again, his voice soft, "Does Ramirez make you happy?"

His gaze dropped to her lips and he moved towards her, "Does he bring you peace?" he asked as he placed a soft kiss to the side of her mouth.

As he drew away he saw her eyes were half closed, and when they opened he watched with fascination as they burned with what looked like anger, frustration and a small hint of desire.

"You've got a nerve Chakotay." She drawled at him and he raised an eyebrow in response.

"You didn't answer my questions."

"What makes you think you have the right to ask?"

"I don't. In fact given my behaviour over the past few months, I don't believe I have any rights at all where you are concerned. But I can't help myself." He tightened his arms again and rested his head on hers, "Answer me Kathryn. Please."

He felt her hands rest upon his chest and for a moment he thought she was going to push him away. He felt her stroke his chest and he couldn't work out if she was consoling him or encouraging him.

"Sean is a good friend." Kathryn repeated. "He's been staying with me while his apartment is redecorated. He's escorted me to dinners, to functions and been my rock. He also made no secret that he wanted to get in to my bed."

Chakotay tensed and Kathryn's hands drew circles over his chest.

"And what about you? Did you want him there?"

"Yes."

Chakotay released a breath and loosened his arms, "Then I guess that is all I need to know."

"You had moved on Chakotay. What was I supposed to do?"

"Exactly what you have." He bent to kiss her forehead, "I just want you to be happy."

"I was happy."

"Was?"

Kathryn nodded and Chakotay felt his heart begin to race, "And then you turned up on my doorstep and this happy little world collapsed in dust, and I realised that it was all a mirage."

She looked up at him, tears shining in her eyes, but not unhappily, "Sean moved out that night, gave me a hug and wished me the best."

"But tonight…?"

"We are both close to Deanna, we had agreed some time ago to be each other's date this evening. I didn't realise you were going to be here."

"Why did you avoid me? I've been trying to get you to meet me for lunch all week."

He watched a blush make its way up Kathryn's neck in fascination and a large dose of curiosity.

"Well. I'm not proud of myself but I thought that you deserved to be given some 'rainchecks' of your own."

Chakotay laughed, "You were getting your own back?!"

Kathryn laughed along with him and he felt that wonderful sense of peace again.

"Nothing ever happened with Sean. Despite his similarities to Riker, he knew I wasn't ready and never pushed. He's only stayed in the guest room."

Chakotay nodded, "You didn't have to tell me that. No matter what had happened. It would never have changed how I feel."

"And how do you feel, Chakotay?"

"Elated. Happy. At peace. In love."

She smiled brilliantly up at him and he took her face in his hands to kiss her softly. As he pulled away, with her eyes still closed, he heard her whisper.

"Bring me home Chakotay."

=/\=