-Bittersweet-

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

Carly nodded. She hadn't been very sure of anything for the past few weeks, so planning a course of action and following it was incredibly comforting. It was also very sad because, well, iCarly had become a part of her life. It was something she had begun and nurtured, like a child, into the web sensation that it was today and parting with it was nearly as painful as letting go of Sam.

Though, to be honest, there was no way she could completely disengage the death grip her heart had on the crass blonde—no matter how bad things got.

Those bittersweet feelings throbbed beneath her breast as she searched desperately for the inner strength that allowed her to cast away her insecurities and become the Carly that their burgeoning following had come to know and love. The strength that had started the show would also end it.

"I'm ready."

"… In five…"

The familiar countdown set off a fresh wave of pure, unadulterated angst and following closely behind it was panic. Could she really do this?

"…Four…"

Carly steeled herself. She could and she would. There were some changes she needed to make in her life and this was the first of many.

"… Three…"

But if it were up to her… If she could turn back time…

"…Two…"

He pointed to her with two fingers, indicating that they were live, and the teen reeled her thoughts back in, focusing on the here and now.

"Hey guys. I know I haven't done an episode of iCarly in a long time, but there's been a lot of…" Her voice cracked and she hid the lapse with a grin. No need to end this show on a sad note. iCarly was meant to bring joy to the viewers and it would be best if they remembered their hostess as she had been on the show: happy, carefree. The opposite of how she felt at this very moment. "Real-life stuff. It's complicated."

Her camera man gave her a questioning look and she drew in a shaky breath.

"I'm sorry to say that this will be our last broadcast. So, on behalf of all of us here at iCarly, thank you so much for your support and for just being incredible. Without you guys, I don't know how we could have managed to come so far. It's been… So amazing to talk with all you guys and I can't even begin to describe how honored I am that anyone would take the time to tune in and laugh with us." She faltered, struggling to contain the emotions that battered her already broken, bleeding heart. "So… Yeah… This is Carly, signing off for the last time."

Freddie lowered the camera, his expression concerned. He opened his mouth, but then seemed to think better of it and he put down his burden instead, crossing the room to his best friend's side.

She let him hug her, but she refused to cry any more.

Inevitably, there was a flood of hate email, concerned queries, texts, calls, hate, hate, hate, endless questions—

"What happened to Sam?" flashed across her screen and, with a tired sigh, Carly powered down her laptop, her hands trembling as she refrained from chucking the device against the far wall. Who needed technology anyway?

Speaking of, her Pear phone lit up for the billionth time that morning alone and she groaned, hesitating before daring to peek at the display. She'd already seen it all—from scathing insults to outright threats of violence. What was the worst this new alert could read?

The answer to that was a caller ID: Sam :D

... She really needed to change that.

After further hesitation, the brunette lifted the phone to her ear. She had to clear her throat before she could manage to find her voice.

"… Hello?"

[… I hear you ended iCarly.]

Her foolish heart throbbed at the sound of that familiar, unfamiliar voice. "You heard right."

[How could you…] She stopped abruptly when her voice trembled, continuing in a much more level tone, [It wasn't just your decision to make. iCarly was mine, too. It was—]

Ours. The sentiment hurt and Sam seemed to think so as well because she left the sentence incomplete, that final word hanging silently in the tension between them.

And, suddenly, Carly was indignant. What gave the blonde the right to claim even partial ownership of the show when she had given up on her best friend? It wasn't fair to leave the fate of the project up to whenever—if ever—Sam felt like pretending all was well so that they could act silly on camera together, maybe get a few laughs. Pretend like they were okay and that life could continue on, the same as ever.

"Sorry, Sam, but you made a choice and I did too."

The 'click' that interrupted whatever the other girl had to say in response was oddly satisfying and Carly placed the phone on her desk. She didn't pick it up when the screen lit up, buzzing faintly as it vibrated, choosing instead to swivel around in her computer chair and lean back to stare up at her ceiling.

Her chest hurt, but somehow she felt a little better.