Chapter 19

Nula frowned as she stared out of the French doors in the room she used at the Greys. She couldn't believe the conversation that she and Elliot had just had. Yes, she knew he was drunk, but still… could he have meant it: It wasn't Mani that I went over to talk too. I just recognized my Ana and ran. Mani was only ever supposed to be a rebound…

If that were true, and she strongly suspected it was, then she was the one who he had been interested in. So where did that leave her- them now, she wondered as a knock sounded on her door. Shaking away the thoughts, she tightened the belt of her robe and opened the door. "We need to talk," Elliot said as he leaned against door jam.

Nula sighed and fought the urge to roll her eyes: "you're drunk, Elliot."

"Not that drunk, Finola," he shot back.

"You know I hate being called that!"

Elliot laughed hollowly: "no, you hate being called that by anyone but me. Can I please come in to talk?"

Huffing, Nula stepped back: "I really shouldn't let you in here."

"I'm not going to do anything with you in my parents' house- well at least not with my wife down the hall and my son next door with my sister!" he replied as he entered.

"Why did you say what you did, Elliot?" Nula asked as she turned to him after shutting the door, watching as he sat on the edge of the bed.

"Maybe I just thought it needed to be said," he shrugged.

"No," she replied tensely as she leaned against the wall, her arms across her chest. "If that was it you would've said it to me a long time ago."

"Probably," he sighed as he ran a hand through his hair. "You heard that a friend of Christian's was attacked by Hyde right?'

"Yeah."

"It was this woman, Ana, who…"

Nula picked up a hand to stop him: "I know who Ana was- is- Christian was never anything but honest about the fact that she was his first, and as far as I know, only love."

"He did?"

Nula nodded as she leveled herself off the wall: "I was just a place holder- but he was too- and no. Not for the jackass."

"Then for who?"

"Why Elliot?"

"Fine, he's getting a second chance, maybe I finally wanted to admit I wanted a second chance with someone who could be my everything."

Nula rolled her eyes: "one, the woman who is supposed to be your everything- and is my best friend- is down the hall. Two, we never had a chance to begin with because you never gave us one!"

"She was going to be the rebound.
Things were somewhat serious with Kate- well serious for me. Then I found out I was only her mark- a way for her to get to Christian. She was good- she even convinced me that Ana was in on it!"

"Yeah, that sounds logical from what I heard about Anastasia," Nula shot back as she sat down, making sure there was space between them.

"What can I say? When I fuck up I do it big!"

"Still, Elliot…"

"I'm tired, Nula."

"So… your room's down the hall. Go to bed- with your wife!"

"No. Emotionally, I'm tired of fighting this battle."

"Which battle?" Nula wondered.

Elliot looked over at her and sighed: "all of it.
Fighting for a marriage that died with our daughter.
Pretending I don't love someone else.
Wanting what my parents have and never coming close…"

"You can't use me as an excuse to walk away from your marriage. I am not that girl!"

"I know. I guess I just wanted to let you know how I felt before all the shit had the fan," he admitted. "I know it's over and has been for some time. I guess I needed to admit it to myself."

"Elliot, this doesn't change- I don't know what you wanted me to say to what you did," she told him softly as she looked down at her hands: "if you had chosen me that night I would've… but you didn't and we're where we are now. She's my best friend and Christopher is my godson and I can't do… I can't hurt her like that."

"You might be surprised to learn that she's not as loyal to you," Elliot said as he got to his feet.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing… I don't know…"

"Elliot…"

"I've always believed she got pregnant on purpose, ok?" he shot back with a touch of heat. "I was careful. She was supposed to be on birth control- but then after Hyde we found out she was pregnant and I… I was backed against the wall and I did what I had always thought was the right thing- I married her.
I made a life with her and for a while it was- it was good.
Then we lost Phoebe and she's never forgiven me and I… I hate her for it.
For putting me in that position because she couldn't follow a goddamned directive about security!
For the fact Chris and I aren't enough!
I was the one who had to make that decision—my wife or our baby; maybe both.
I was the one who held my daughter as she took her last breath.
I was the one who had to stand there and watch her be put into the ground in the smallest goddamned casket I have ever seen!
I was the one who was at her bedside every day for over a month! Is any of that good enough for Mani—No!
Hell no!
She lost more than all of us as far as she is concerned and what I went through has never mattered to her, never mind that she has never tried to see how it has affected this family- our family died when she woke up and found out that our baby died.
We're not enough- will never be- and I have to think about Christopher and get the hell off this freakn' merry-go-round ride from hell!"

Nula's ups were wide as he finished his tirade: "Maybe you aren't that drunk. But Elliot, I'm not the one you should have said all that to."

"I know I have to tell her, but I want to file first." He said surprising her: "I can't lose Christopher too. I can't give her the heads up that I'm planning this."

"And you expect me to keep quiet?"

"I don't…"

"You're putting me in a really bad position…" she sighed. "I'm not making promises, all I'll say is that I'll do what I think is best for Christopher- someone has to put him first."

Christian had shifted on the bed so that Ana now lay against his chest as they talked about trivial things and she started to get sleepy: "you should rest," he told her as the door opened and two men came into the room.

"Mr. Grey? Ms. Steele?" one asked.

"Can we help you?" Christian wondered.

"I'm detective Monroe and this is detective Phillips, we have some questions for you two regarding what happened last night," one answered.

"Can't it wait? Ms. Steele needs her rest," Christian wondered.

"We're not in Seattle, you can't play the money card here with us," Phillips said.

"Phillips," Monroe gritted as Anna looked at him: "It's fine, I want to get this over with," she said then looked up at Christian: "I know you're trying to protect me and I love you for it, but I want to get onto other things with us… talk about the future without this hanging over us."

"If that's what you want…" Christian sighed as he kissed her head and slid off the bed: "I suppose you want to do this separately?"

"So you've been through the drill before?" Phillips asked.

"Mr. Grey, if you would come with me, I'll leave Phillips here to talk to Ms. Steele."

Christian nodded and looked down at Ana: "you need anything call for Taylor."

"I'll be fine, Christian. Really. We have a second chance. Let's hold onto it, ok?" she asked as she kissed his hand then let him go.

"A bit intense, isn't he?" Phillips asked as Christian left with Monroe to talk a couple of doors down.

"I prefer protective," Ana said as the detective took the chair across from her. "What do you need to know?"

"First, do you remember what happened?"

"Yes."

"Who attacked you?"

"Yes."

"Who was it?"

"jack Hyde."

"You're sure? Mr. Grey didn't tell you tell us that?"

"Why would he do that?" Ana asked. "I walked out of the club and was going to get a bag from my car. I was babysitting for two of the owners that night and Christian and Taylor were bringing their car around to meet me."

"The owners were going to let two strangers babysit their kids on you word?"

"Taylor served with Adam Montauge from what I heard.
He vouched for Christian.
I was getting some stuff for the three kids, a change of clothes, and the manuscripts I'm editing- I was supposed to meet with the authors today. Anyway, I felt- well happy- I talk to Christian all the time, but this was the first time I'd seen him in about five years."

"You seem quite cozy for someone who is just playing catch up with a guy they haven't seen in five years," Phillips pointed out.

Ana swallowed: "we were serious when we dated over ten years ago."

"So, what? He dumps you because you wanted more?"

"Other way around, detective. I was only twenty-two and very insecure. I let someone convince me Christian and I wouldn't make it in the long haul.
I left him.
We always thought we'd try again later.
Now is later."

"So the attack?"

"Hyde grabbed me from behind- I saw him because he pulled back my head so I had to before he smashed it into the frame of the car.
It did it more than once.
I think there were lights coming towards us before I passed out- I don't know. I just remember the pain after seeing him."

"And you knew Hyde before?"

"Yes."

"Through Mr. Grey?"

"No.
I worked as an assistant to Mr. Hyde at a small publishing house in Seattle."

"I've heard he did some- interesting- things to and with his assistants. Did he…"

"He tried once.
I got away," Ana admitted. "Taylor was one of the only ones who knew.
As far as I know Christian never did.
I agreed to more security and talked to the owner.
He- he wanted me to file charges but it was my first job and Hyde threatened me… no one knew then even if they suspected what he was capable of."

"Any one not connected to Grey know?"

Ana sighed: "my former best friend, but if she knows that Christian is involved in anyway she'll lie to make him look bad."

"Bad blood?"

"Kate would not only throw Christian under the bus she'd throw a lit match into the gas tank after it pinned him to a wall and gloat when it exploded.
And no, I have no idea why," Ana explained. "But I don't understand why the focus on Christian."

"Because Mr. Hyde is not only accusing him of attacking you but also of attacking him after he found the two of you together."

"Christian saw me in Adam's office.
We made plans.
I didn't even know that Hyde was in town."

"It fits with what others have told us," Phillips said as Monroe came in with a fuming Christian. "Nice hand," Phillips commented. "Have a run in with a face?"

"No. A wall" Christian spit out. "Are we done?"

"Yeah, but we will probably have more questions for you two at a later date," Monroe said as the two detectives left.

"Hey, we're ok, right?" Ana asked.

Christian closed his eyes, inhaled and then sat next to her, taking her hand in his: "Yeah. We'll be ok. But I'm going to have to call my dad; I don't like the noises that Hyde is making."

"If they believed him, they would've arrested you, wouldn't they?"

"It's more than that, Baby.
They know what type of club it is and Monroe was asking if I got so mad because you were collared by Hyde."

"But I wasn't!"

"Hey," Christain said, wanting to calm her down: "I know.
I told Monroe you weren't anybody's sub and just had that on as a sign of protection if you got stuck there after it opened."

Ana exhaled in relief: "he believed you, right?"

"It was the truth, but I want to make sure you're protected.
If charges as filed- I need to know you're safe."

"So when's Sawyer coming?" Ana asked with a roll of her eyes.

"You know how I feel about you rolling your eyes," Christian chided as he ran a hand down her cheek. "And Sawyer is staying put. I don't want to put up with a pregnant pissed off Mia!"

Ana giggled: "so what about this protection."

"Taylor talked to Adam about me hiring Damien and Grant."

"I'd be good with that," Ana said. "I mean, I feel safe with both of them."

"Then we'll do that- hopefully," Christian sighed. "I really want you to get some sleep."

"Will you stay with me?"

"Always, Baby," Christian said as he moved to lie next to her and helped her maneuver her body so she was comfortable. "Rest, now…"

"I can't…"

"Try… I'll even sing for you."

"You don't sing."

"Not often, no. But I do for Christopher and Sophie."

"I'm not child, Christian."

"Hush… now… yeah, I know:" he said and then softly started to sing: "Lay down your head and sleep, sleep.
I'll be your pillow soft and deep.
Leave me your troubles, I will keep your days gone by.
Your days gone by.

Lay down your head, and dream dream.
You're so much gentler than you seem.
Is there a chance you might redeem my days gone by.
My days gone by.

And ohhh her breathe is so warm and my ears are ringing,
everywhere my skin is singing.

Lay down your head and sleep sleep
I will be pleased your soul to keep.
Give yourself over to the
deep of days gone by.
Of days gone by…"

"I take it back, you can sing to me anytime and anything you want," Ana said groggily into his shoulder as he smiled into her hair.

"Just sleep now, Baby. It will all work out, you'll see… you'll see," Christian said as Taylor looked into the room and shared a look with his boss, causing Christian to exhale in relief.
There was now one less thing to worry about, he thought as he followed Ana into a peaceful sleep.

The guard looked disgustedly at the beaten body in the cell and called for a lockdown.
One more rapist was dead thanks to the other prisoners.
Somehow the code amongst criminals always surprised him, especially when it went this far.
He wondered if someone in administration would take the hit for this, as Hyde had been placed in a cell with a man who was serving life for killing the molester of a friend's daughter.

Oh, well, as long as it wasn't his head on the chopping block…

Elena hung up her phone and laughed.
One less problem she had to worry about.
One less lackey on payroll or who would talk about her.
This one should've learned his lesson prior to this. When you threatened to talk or turn on her she made you disappear…

Song Credit: "Lay Down Your Head" from Violet the Musical. Video of it is on my pinterest page, link for which can be found in my profile.