A/N: Hello!
red wolf: That for sure should give you some suspicious ;) It's Oliver, of course he had to pull some stunt at some point. Actually the punch idea, I'm gonna make it as a one shot. Yes, it was Alec who started the fight, but both of them said too much. You should prepare more tissues, because more drama is coming!
Guest (1): Thank you! I'm glad you like my stories.
malecglitterfan: For real? And did you expect something else from me?
high warlock: It supposed to be very emotional.
Guest (2): Yes, many hurtful words, too many. Can drama not be bad?
Thank you for your all reviews, follows, favorites.
All characters belongs to Cassie, except for OC's.
Enjoy reading.
Chapter IX
"The day that your heart stops"
There were many thoughts that flew through my mind when Magnus slammed the door. But only one seemed to get a reaction from me.
"Maybe you would be better off without us?!"
"Maybe I would!"
It hit me like a wave of cruelty and unbearable pain. My heart was hammering, tears were running down my cheeks, as I sunk down on the floor, bringing knees up to my chest. My mind was repeating those three words without any break. It made me sick.
My heart shattered into million pieces.
Doesn't he love me and Lily?
Was all our life a fucking lie?
Did we mean anything to him? Nor me nor Lily?
Lily…she must have heard every single word of our fight. Wiping the tears from my cheeks, I moved to her room. She was nowhere to be seen, but I heard quiet sobs. Following the sound I found her curled up with her stuffed bunny, behind the bed. Her face was wet from tears, and it broke my heart entirely, though I didn't know if it could be broken more.
I kneeled next to her, and she moved herself away from me, more to the wall.
"Baby girl…" I wanted to take her in my arms, to console her, but she was clearly afraid of me. "Princess…"
"Is daddy mad at me?" her quiet voice with sobs filled my ears.
"No baby, daddy isn't mad at you. Daddy is mad at me. Not you. He could never be mad at you. Daddy loves you"
"He said that he didn't want me" I took her into my arms, pressing her to my chest to protect her, console her. I just needed to held her close to me. "I didn't want to make him mad"
"Daddy was mad at me baby. Of course he wanted you. He still wants you. He loves you. I love you too baby girl" I kissed the top of her head, when I felt some drops on my shirt "We both love you so much. We love you. Daddy loves you. He was just mad at me. He didn't mean anything he said"
That's what I felt. And I hoped that it's true. That he didn't really meant those words.
"Daddy loves you" I kept repeating it to her, until she fell asleep in my arms. After tugging her in bed, I went to call to Magnus, as my emotions dropped a little bit down. He wasn't answering, and after a sixth ring his voice mail greeted me.
'Hey it's Magnus Bane. Leave a message. Maybe I'll call you back.'
"Magnus it's me…look…we've both said too much…I know we both didn't mean it…but please…come back home and we will talk…please Mags. I love you. Come back home."
I couldn't sleep at all. My mind still was progressing everything what happened. My eyes were set on the door, as I expected Magnus to come in at any second. But he didn't do it. Later at night I got a call, which totally surprised me. People rarely called me at night. I assumed that maybe it's Magnus or someone from some bar, asking to pick him up. Magnus had a tendency to get drunk when he's mad.
But the person on the other line wasn't Magnus nor from some bar.
"I'm calling from Beth Israel Hospital. Am I speaking with Mr. Alexander Lightwood?"
"Y..y..yes…" my voice was stuttering with fear.
"Magnus Bane had a car accident…"
…
Sharp, white light was filling the hallway. The buzzing sound of the fluorescent lamps was too loud. Muffled voices were flying somewhere around.
Everything was going in a slow motion.
I sat on the floor, with knees up to my chest, back on the wall. My hands were covering my ears, as I tried to block everything what happened in the past hour, since that terrible call.
Magnus Bane had a car accident…
Never in my life I was driving so fast like tonight. I left Lily with my neighbor, and went to the hospital. There a doctor tried to explain to me what had happened with my husband.
But my mind wasn't getting everything. I heard it cut out.
…large blood loss…
…open fracture of leg…
…broken bones in an arm…
…concussion…
…open wound on head…
…barely beating heart…
…not sure if he will survive…
So here am I, sitting on the hospital floor, with tears streaking down my face, though I don't know how many of them have left in me. Banging my head on the wall with the helplessness that I felt. Praying to any god that is up there, for my husband to survive the operation.
Dear god, let him be alive…I can't live without him…
"Alec!" a familiar voice was somewhere around me, but I couldn't made to who it belongs to. "My baby"
"Mom…"
"I'm here baby boy. I'm here" a pair of arms surrounded me, and I was pressed to something smooth and warm. A hand, larger than my mom's was stroking my hair.
"Alec…" another female voice. Immediately I got up and ran straight to the arms of the owner of this voice. "What… happened? Where is my son?"
"I'm so sorry…I'm sorry…it's my fault…my…"
"Alec" a male voice spoken "Where's Magnus?"
"Surgery… blood loss …they…he…car accident…he…I…" I couldn't muster any straight word.
"Oh my god. My baby…" Ayanna sunk down to the floor brining me down with her.
"I'm sorry…I'm sorry, sorry…sorry…sorry…my fault…my fault…"
"What are you saying Alec?" Michael said putting arms around his wife "Tell us what happened"
Dad helped me got up from the floor and led me to a chair, Michael did the same with Ayanna. I took her hand in mine, squeezing tight. Mom sat next to me, with her hand on my knee. Dad and Michael crouched in front of us. Eyes of all them were full of worry, pain and tears.
"We…we had a fight…we've said too much…he was angry…me too…and he took car keys…and then…then the hospital called at night…he had an accident…" I tried to wipe out tears, but the more I did it, the more they ran down my cheeks. "It's my fault…I'm so sorry…I didn't…I love him…I'm sorry…"
"It's not your fault dear, it's not" Ayanna said and pressed a kiss on the top of my head. I felt her tears on my upper arm.
"Alec where's Lily?" dad asked, slowly rubbing my arm.
"Sandra…my next door neighbor…"
"I'll call Jace to go get her"
Another hour of crying and feeling numb went. All of us were sitting on the uncomfortable chairs, waiting for any news. Mom was slowly stroking my hair, whispering to me comforting words. Ayanna was in arms of Michael, crying as I was.
At some point Ragnor, Catarina, Jace and Izzy joined us in this helplessly situation.
And we waited. And waited. And waited.
The time was going exceedingly slowly. To not freak out I started to count minutes, seconds that passed. I thought that it was going forever.
Finally something happened.
"The family of Magnus Bane?" As on the cue all of us stood up from our positions and moved closer to the doctor. "There's a bunch of you here"
"Doctor, how's my husband?" he turned his gaze at me.
"We've managed to stop the bleedings…we stitched his wounds…it's a true miracle that we've managed to save him. His heart stopped during the surgery, but we've got it into working again" my body started to shaking, and I felt like I was falling down the floor, but then some arms held me strong up. "He has broken ribs, and believe me an two inches to the back and his descending thoracic aorta would be ripped and he'd have an inside bleeding and he'd die. It's a true miracle. Someone up there wanted him to live"
"He…he's…he's alright…" Ayanna spoke with a shaky from a fear voice.
"He's stable for now" the doctor continued "The next 24-hours will be deciding. We're gonna move him to a recovery room. We're gonna watch him for the 24-hours"
"Can we see him?"
"Not yet. You'll be able to see him when we move him to a ward" With that he left us and went back to a surgery room.
After a minute or so, doctors opened the door and moved with Magnus on the hospital bed. He was looking horrible, all bruised, covered with blood, connected to some IV. When I saw him like that I wanted to throw myself at him and never let him go again.
"Magnus…" a quiet whisper escaped my mouth. I went after them, to see to which room they're taking him.
There he was, laying on the bed. Not moving. Face and arms covered with badly, awful red and purple bruises, stitches. Connected to an IV, and a heart monitor that showed the slow beating of his heart. The man on the bed didn't look like my beloved husband. Only a glass door separated us, and it pained me. Pained me like nothing else before.
"I love you Magnus. Please…don't leave me"
…
Magnus survived those 24-hours and a day later he was moved to the ward. Now we were able to see him. And I didn't leave the hospital since the night of the surgery. Magnus haven't wake up for three days.
"Sometimes patients after the operation falls into a coma" the doctor said two days ago, when they couldn't wake him up.
"I'm so sorry…I was a fool…I shouldn't push you so hard…I know it was a hard time for you…I was so stupid Magnus" I laid my head on the edge of the bed that he was laying on, my hand slowly rubbed the one of his. "I love you so much. I didn't mean a word of what I said. I know you didn't mean your words too…please…please wake up my love…come back to me. Come back to me and Lily…we need you…we love you so much"
Days were passing, and he still haven't woke up, he just sometimes blinked or so. For the past two weeks I was barely home, my daughter was living with my parents. While in the hospital I switched places with Ayanna only when they all persuaded me to go eat, shower and change clothes. The sleep visited me only when mom or dad shoved sleeping pills down my throat. And even then I haven't left the hospital.
"Alec you need a normal sleep! In an actual bed!" Jace demanded one day "You're gonna get yourself sick!"
"I can't leave him!" I snapped back at him with tears in eyes "I can't leave him! He needs me! What if he wakes up when I'm not here?! He'll think that I abandoned him!"
"But you need to sleep normally brother, please"
"Would you leave Clary alone in the hospital, if she'd be in Magnus's place and you're in mine?" he shook his head "See! I can't leave him. I can't. I can't"
At some point my family stopped persuading me to going home and have an actual sleep. But they've managed to convince nurses to bring a more comfortable chair for me, before they moved Magnus to his own room, where was a couch. Not really comfortable couch, but at least now I didn't have to sleep on the chair. Even though me staying the whole night wasn't actually legal here, thanks to my connections in the hospital, I could do it, but not for long. Once in a week I had to go home for a night, at least once in a week. But even then, I left at the late hour and came back first thing in the morning. I didn't want to leave him alone for long. I missed him too much.
And I wasn't the only one who missed him. Our daughter missed him too, so much. She wasn't a stupid little girl, she knew that something is wrong. Eventually I told dad to bring her to the hospital with him.
"Papa!" she jumped into my arms in the hallway. I missed having her in my arms, seeing her. She put her small arms around my neck, when I kissed the top of her head.
"Princess…my baby girl…I missed you so much" she pressed her lips to mine in a sweet kiss
"I missed you too papa, sooooo much. And daddy too" at that more tears fell out from my eyes. "Don't cry papa. I love you"
"I love you too Lily. Love you so much baby" we moved to the room where Magnus was, Lily still in my arms. When she saw him, she wanted to jump off from me, but I held her. "Sweetheart, I need to tell you something"
We sat down on the chair next to the bed, Lily on my laps, her blue eyes glued at Magnus's unmoving body. The slow and steady sound of Magnus's heart beating filled the room.
"What's wrong with daddy? Is he sick?"
"No baby. Daddy…daddy had an accident when he was driving" she moved her confused gaze at me, as she titled her head. That was her habit when she didn't understand something.
"Is that why daddy has bruises on his arms and face? And those weird stitches?"
"Yes, doctors in the hospital fixed daddy after the accident" she changed her position on my laps again, turning herself to Magnus more.
"So why is daddy sleeping? Can't he wake up? Daddy wake up!"
"Lily, listen…sometimes…after an operation…patients falls into a long sleep to regenerate themselves. To get their strength back"
"So daddy now is sleeping long?" after a confirmation from me she spoke again "When daddy will wake up?"
"I don't know baby. But he will. I'm sure of it" I hugged her tightly, pressing a kiss to her hair "Daddy will wake up baby"
"Papa? Can I hug daddy?"
"Of course you can, just be careful. Daddy is still bruised"
With my help she climbed on the bed. I moved subtly Magnus's right arm, so she could have a bit more space. Lily placed her head on Magnus's chest, and her left hand was slowly rubbing his right upper arm. My heart was in pain on this sight. I wanted him to wake up in that moment, to see that we, his family, are here and that we love him. Our daughter sat up and caressed Magnus's cheeks, forehead and nose with her small hands. Then she pressed her lips to his.
"I love you daddy. Wake up soon. Me and papa wait for you. We love you so much"
'We love you Mags, don't give up and come back to us. Come back to us'
…
Almost the third week passed and still nothing. Magnus didn't wake up. Still, I was spending most of time in the hospital, but as well I tried to do other things. I locked down the music studio of my husband, until further notice. His students were truly sad about his current state. I took some paper work to do for myself, while I was in the hospital, because with every minute I was freaking out more from the suspension and helplessness. Lily was coming to the hospital three times in a week, for an hour or so. She drew dozens of pictures for Magnus, that now didn't fit on the cabinet. Ayanna was every day at the hospital for four hours, this was time for me to go home for a bit. Magnus's friends were coming too, my siblings as well. And we all talked to him, like the doctor advised.
" You know, Lily got a place in the school. She'll start next week. I got the letter"
"Chairman … I think he has some lady feline. Who knows, maybe we will have kittens"
"Andrew started to walk three days ago. Catarina recorded it and showed me"
"Ellie is pregnant, she found out today. I'm so happy for her"
"Isabelle and Simon are good. Simon still thinks that his band is actually good. But they have a new lead singer. Maybe this time they could make some success"
"Clary will have twins. Jace said that the second baby finally showed up on the screen"
"Max has a girlfriend. She's really nice girl. Her name is Christina. But they call her Tina"
"Your mom and Michael took Lily to Disneyland last week. She was so happy. When you wake up I'll show you pictures"
"Just wake up my love, wake up"
But Magnus didn't seem to have any of it. He just laid there on the bed, unmoving. And day by day I was wondering if he ever wakes up. Not that I lost my faith in it. I didn't. I could never. But this helplessness was slowly killing me.
One day it changed.
I came to the hospital as always in the morning, after dropping Lily off to the school. Grabbing the awful coffee from the machine, I moved to Magnus's room.
"Hi honey" my lips left a wet mark on his lips.
The air was thick here, so I decided to open a window, even if it was a late September, it was still really warm outside. The sun was up, sending its rays through the window, on Magnus's peaceful face. After five weeks most of his bruises turned their color to yellow, so he was healing. His bones seemed to be fixed as well. The only thing wrong here was that he still was staying in the coma.
The book that I brought for myself wasn't really interesting, but I read it nevertheless. Then I heard a sound, familiar to me, yet it was different. My eyes shifted to the heart monitor, which showed that Magnus's heart started to beat faster. His chest started to rise and fall in faster moves. And then this.
Magnus's fingers moved. His fingers bended and then straightened. On both hands.
Then it happened again. And again. And again.
And finally something that fastened my heart.
Magnus started to stir on the bed, more moving. From his throat came growls.
"Doctor I need a doctor!" I screamed through the hallway. When I was back to his room, Magnus's eyes were opened, blinking at the bright surrounding. Some nurse came and took out the endotracheal tube from his throat so he could breathe himself.
"I'm gonna get the doctor"
Magnus was looking around, as it to try and understand where he is. Finally his eyes landed on me. I couldn't stop my tears, as I smiled at him and he smiled ghostly back. He mumbled something but my mind couldn't understand this muffled sounds. I grabbed his hand in mine, rubbing it gently.
"Magnus, oh god…you're awake…"
Before the doctor came in, I heard something that I'd never imagine to hear. Something that could be my worst nightmare.
"Who…who…are…y…you?"
At that my heart stopped…
A/N: Did you like it?
Many of you guessed correctly that Magnus will loose his memories. But that's not the whole drama that I have up in my sleeve. So stay tuned!
The next one, around the next week.
Review if you feel like to
Lots of love
Intoxic