Love Me Forever Or Love Me Never
Chapter 3: Hopeless
Some how Nico managed to make his way home. Darting across streets, jumping fences, dodging cars. He did any thing to get away from that awful place that held so much pain. So much hurt. Nico felt numb as he made his way back to his house. How could Percy do this to him? How could he have been so cruel? Nico had loved him ever since he was eight years old. Nico had wasted seven years loving someone who didn't care about him!
Running up the porch steps Nico charged at the front door. His hands wrapped around the knob and he pulled frantically. In his heartbroken hazy he had forgotten that no one was home. His parents and older sister went to a movie, one that Nico had no desire to see. At that moment Nico was torn between being thankful that he hadn't went and regretting it. He was glad no one was home and he would be able to cry in peace., but if he had gone with them none of this would have happened. Ultimately he wished he would have seen it with them.
He also prayed they would arrive home soon. He may not have wanted to admit it, but he need Bianca. He needed someone to tell him that everything was going to be alright. Even though they fought at times Bianca was always there for Nico. He didn't know what he would do without her.
Fumbling in his jacket pocket Nico search for his house keys. He dug around in his pocket carelessly until something sharp cut across his skin. Nico ripped his hand from his pocket viciously, watching as blood swelled from the wound on his hand. The red liquid dripped across his hand, falling to the concrete porch. The cut was pretty deep judging from the stinging sensation the reverberated through Nico's hand.
Grinding his teeth, momentarily forgetting about his aching heart, Nico took his other hand, fishing in his pocket for the keys once more. He brought them out, slid his house key in the door, and pushed it open. A blast of warm air struck his face. He looked around the darkened house searching for the problem. Dashing across the room he quickly turned the heaters off which he had accidentally left on. Even though it was still quiet warm outside Nico loved to have the heater on. It gave him such a comforting feeling. As he stood in the center of his living room at that moment he found no comfort. His hand ached and the skin surround the cut was beginning to swell.
Nico quickly scrambled up the stairs. Heading into his room he slammed the door closed. It shut with a loud slam. Clutching his wrist Nico stared at the cut shaking his head. Slowly he entered his bathroom which was connected to his bed room. Purposefully he marched towards the sink. Figuring the best course of action would be to clean away the blood he slowly turned on the water, letting it wash over his wound. His hand seemed to burn the moment the water came in contact with it.
Nico cringed, pulling his hand away. Figuring he was just over reacting he once again sunk his hand into the water with the same results. He sighed, deciding to just bandage his hand instead. The next time he tried to pull keys out of his pocket he would have to be more careful. Those things were sharp!
At that moment Nico caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. His eyes were bloodshot. The skin on his cheeks was puffy and red from his tears. He looked pale and shaken. To tell the truth he did look pitiful. Just as Percy had thought.
Suddenly, Nico's jaw clenched. Thinking of Percy made a wave of emotions wash over him. His lip quivered as he fought back the tears that had plagued him only moments earlier. What had made them stop? Then he remembered his hand. Bending over he opened the cabinet under the sink, looking for gauze to wrap the cut. At that moment he notice something. There, sitting on the lowest shelf, was a razor blade. He slowly picked it up, looking at it curiously.
A million thoughts whirled in his mind at that moment. He had heard of people cutting their wrists. They always said it was a way to vent. A way to get rid of anger by taking it out on yourself. Nico had known a few people who had done that before, but he had always thought it was stupid and served no purpose. Now as he stared at the razor blade in his hand it didn't seem like such a bad idea. The cut on his hand made him forget the pain Percy had inflected on him emotional, so maybe cuts on his wrist would make him forget it, too.
Slowly he lowered the blade, pressing it to his skin. He was careful not to let it cut him. Not yet. Taking a second to calm himself he took deep breaths.
"Breath in. Breath out." He muttered to himself.
In one swift motion he put force on the blade and drug it across his skin. Gasping loudly Nico took his other hand and clutched it over his mouth, bitter tears pooling in the corner of his eyes. He was trying to kill his pain, but it was only bringing more. He clenched his teeth, watching as the angry red line danced across his pale flesh, blood seeping out from under his skin. Damn it, it hurt so bad!
Once again he raised the blade. Rapidly he pulled it across his left arm two more times. He was about to do again when he heard a slam from down stairs. His eyes shot upwards staring at the bathroom door. His parents were home.
Quickly Nico flung the razor back into the cabinet. He would throw it away later. In a frenzy Nico switched on the water washing off his wrists and the blood that had gathered in the bottom of the sink. Gritting his teeth he watched the red tinted water flow down the drain. Reaching down swiftly he grabbed the gauze out of the cabinet and began wrapping his wrists. More tears gathered in his eyes as the stinging worsened.
Rushing out of the bathroom he could hear footsteps coming up the stairs. Unsure of how to hide his wrists Nico ran to his bed, ripping the sheets and blanket both from the mattress. He slid under the covers as the door opened.
"Nico?" The voice wavered into the room. His mother, Maria, stepped into the room looking around disorient in the darkness. She noticed him bundled up under the blanket. She looked on with concern.
"Nico, honey, are you alright?"
"Yeah, mom! I'm fine. God! I just want to sleep." He said annoyed.
His mother gave a slight nod before backing out of the room.
"Good night." She whispered before shutting the door. A slight sigh came from Nico's lips the moment she left. He hated lying to his mother. It was obvious that he was not fine. Nico's body quivered under the sheets. At that moment he made a vow. He would never think about Percy again. He also would never cut his wrists again. So much pain had been brought upon him in one night. Silent tears slide down Nico's face as lay there in bed. Minutes passed, minutes which turned to hours. The whole time he lay there in agony unable to rest. Slowly, as the clock beside his bed struck 2:00 am Nico drifted off to sleep, wondering what kind of pain tomorrow held for him.