FROM: Len
TO: Miku
SUBJECT: Without a good-bye?
Hey, you're such a party pooper. I think I hate you now - not really. You could have sent me a message telling that you accepted the job offer there? But you don't. Well, who am I, anyway? I'm just your best friend...not your mom or anyone blood related to you. The party is boring, it's not a party without you. Do you really have to go that rushed? Rin could have organized a farewell party but she told us you're unstoppable. She also said that you went to see a doctor yesterday. How's the checkup? Are you feeling well? What are you going through a lot lately? Oliver told us that he knows the result. Mind telling me? Am I talking a lot? I hope you don't change your email address and you do read and respond to my messages. We miss you already.
FROM: Len
TO: Miku
SUBJECT: Busy?
I know it's just a day since you left... Have you arrived there? Just wondering if you received my email? How's Europe? How's London? Take a picture of Big Ben and send us one, aye?
Hey, I forgot to tell you on my email yesterday that I got the highest score on my examination. I'd be Doctor Kagamine after four years. University today was boring, maybe I'm thinking too much. About you. I couldn't possibly stop thinking of you, you know? You didn't say goodbye and we both knew it, I couldn't handle abandonment just like that. You should message me soon, please. I felt like I'm being sucked by anxiety if you won't message me.
FROM: Miku
TO: Len
SUBJECT: Re: Busy?
Hi. Just arrived here, I'm really tired. Sorry. Let's talk sometime.
FROM: Len
TO: Miku
SUBJECT: Re: Busy?
Wow! Hello! I'm so happy you replied! Are you okay? Take time to rest. Have enough sleep, Miku. Don't stay up late at night. Don't drink alcoholic beverages and coffees, and anything with caffeine. Eat healthy and nutritious foods. Don't overwork! Don't stress yourself! Please, message me as often as you can. I want to maintain our communication, okay?
FROM: Miku
TO: Oliver_is_awesome
SUBJECT: YOU LITTLE COW POOP
Your username is insane. Anyway, did you tell Len my condition? He's messaging me like a mad husband!? Let me quote it for you;
"Wow! Hello! I'm so happy you replied! Are you okay? Take time to rest. Have enough sleep, Miku. Don't stay up late at night. Don't drink alcoholic beverages and coffees, and anything with caffeine. Eat healthy and nutritious foods. Don't overwork! Don't stress yourself! Please, message me as often as you can. I want to maintain our communication, okay?"
Goodness, Oliver. Please tell me you didn't?! I don't want to distract him from his studies. I tried ignoring him, don't tell him about that. I'll go back there and punch you square in the gut.
FROM: Oliver_is_awesome
TO: Miku
SUBJECT: Re: YOU LITTLE COW POOP
My man is being worried to thee. Tha freak out much? He's being sweet, why don't you appreciate that? I'm so sorry if I have to tell you this. I didn't tell him. Message Rin! I didn't tell Kagamines, happy?
FROM: Miku
TO: Oliver_is_awesome
SUBJECT: Re: YOU LITTLE COW POOP
I won't message Rin and Len. You too, unless needed. I'll kill you if he really knew about my situation. I'll skin you alive, Oliver. When you speak normal English, I don't trust you. It's like you're lying.
FROM: Oliver_is_awesome
TO: Len
Subject: Art thou killin' us?
Aye up! Miku's fratchin' with us, sayin' I told you she's preg. Tha' wan' us killed? Have some gumption. You're too obvious.
FROM: Len
TO: Oliver_is_awesome
SUBJECT: Re: Art thou killin' us?
I'm a man. It's a father intuition. Now, go away. Shoo!
FROM: Len
TO: Miku
SUBJECT: I'm dying
How can you endure such silence? I never heard this before. Yes, we shared silences in the past, but that's when we're not yet friends. I told you a lot of things. You knew me well, you knew I couldn't stand this. Are you punishing me? Is this still about that night? I'm sorry, really. I'm sorry if I broke your life goals just because of that. But please, don't do this.
The hardest part of a friendship is when one ceases to communicate. It pains me. Does it hurt you? Are you enjoying to see me suffer with such lethal silence! Are you reading my message? Hello? Miku? Why are you treating me like this? I know my mistakes. I regret all of them. I do. Please. I'm dying to hear a thing from you. If I know you'd leave me like this, you shouldn't have promised that you won't leave me whatever happens!
Rin said I was lonelier recently. I tried to be happy, and I just realized I wasn't a good actor. I was a liar. I never told the truth to anyone. So, is this a consequence for all what I failed to say? I won't give up on you. You're killing me. You're killing us. You message none of us. How can you do that? Is it like we never happened? What are we for? Are we still your friends? Message me, will you? This is most painful death ever - people hurting your heart like shit. Miku! Talk, please!
FROM: Miku
TO: Len
SUBJECT: Re: I'm dying
Sorry. I'm really busy these days. Will drop you a message once I got a free time.
FROM: Len
TO: Miku
SUBJECT: Re: I'm dying
Oh goodness. I was drunk last night, stressed with our duty in a hospital. Ignore that message. Sorry.
FROM: Len
TO: Miku
Subject: Merry Christmas!
Seasons Greetings!
Oliver, Rin and I spent Christmas in our hometown. The place improved a lot! There are new residential houses and the roadhouses were really cool. Your mom and dad asked how are you doing. How are we going to answer that when we hadn't heard a thing from you?
Snowfall began last week that's why it's all white in here. You'd love to see this view, it's peaceful. Say, are you going back here for new year? Have plenty of rest, okay? Don't tire yourself that much. Merry Christmas!
FROM: Len
TO: Miku
SUBJECT: Today is my birthday
Happy birthday to you! - Oliver and Rin sang me a happy birthday. They surprised me while I was on the freedom ground, studying for my next subject. The balloons and confetti came out of nowhere. With them was a one-layer caramel cake with my name written all over the thing. It was fun, really. I'm happy. They asked me to say my birthday wish, I refused. It was for you, though. My birthday wish is for you to remain healthy and amazing and simple. And I also wished that you'd reply to my messages one day. My account looked like I'm sending messages to an abandoned account - which I believe, is not.
Good night!
FROM: Len
TO: Miku
SUBJECT: Happy New Year!
Happy new year! I hope you're doing good. It's a month now, you're still ignoring me. I'd be lying if I say it doesn't affect me. I miss you. It's a personal thing - a longing for you, from me. I really do. I'm being truthful here, you see? I'm doing good in my studies. It's been tough lately, but what can I not to do for the achievement of my dream? I'll endure everything to be successful so I can see you again. Oliver said you'll be back by the time I graduate. Is that true?
I wish I could spend new year with you in my flat, with the guys. Or just the two of us? Or shall I say three? So...when are you planning to tell me about our child?
Stay indoors and watch the fireworks display by your windows - if you have a good view. Stay safe, take care of yourself and my kid. :)
P.S.
Is it a she or a he?
Miku stared on her computer screen, with Mikuo's wife - Avanna, standing behind her. Miku felt her heart went crazy reading his message, it was so heartfelt, it was fluttering, it was...was warming. She knew that Len may have known her condition all the time, and she thought ignoring all his message will create an impression to him that she wasn't like what he thought. Avanna's warm hand was placed on her arm, she was with Miku all the time. Avanna was like a new best friend. The warm smile on the raven-haired lady made Miku smile as well, but still...
"Why don't you reply? That was really sweet." Avanna told her as she sat on a chair beside the tealette. Miku looked back on the screen, wondering whether she would or wouldn't, maybe she could reply but ignore his questions about her and their child. "He seems nice and manly, Miku. Why are you ignoring him? Why not tell him that you're healthy and you're getting a special treatment from the publishing house because of your pregnancy? Why not tell him that you're reading The Little Prince to your child every Sunday morning? Why not tell him you do all his reminders? He's the father of your child."
"...because I can't, Avanna. I know that responding to his messages would only provoke us to converse more. I don't want to distract him." Miku said as she typed a simple 'happy new year!' And logged off. She leaned against her chair, stretching her muscles. Soon, her hands settled on her bulking tummy. "Reading his messages is fine. Right, baby?" Miku said and caressed her belly, as if she's really talking to her child.
"But don't you find it hard for him? He's suffering from what you're doing." Avanna countered and listened to the beautiful tealette as she hummed a tune to her child. Miku ignored her question as she continued her lullaby. "My, you're impossible! See you later on the dinner." The raven-haired left her in her room. Miku smiled to herself because that was the first time she felt so...important. Len was the least one to make her feel that way.
The cherry bombs made its way on the sky, illuminating the sky with the colors so vibrant. Miku stared at the light show in the sky, behind her glass window and smiled, she was doing whatever Len advised her to do.
FROM: Rin
TO: Miku
SUBJECT: Happy new year, come back here!
How can I be so festive with the year's end and beginning without you in our place! I miss you, Miku! I hope you'll message me, I honestly hate that about you. I don't know how can you stand your beautiful, sexy best friend?! I hate youuu. Kidding, I love you so much, send me a picture how you do there! I can't stop wailing! Mikuuuuu I miss you ❤
Happy new year.
FROM: Oliver_is_awesome
TO: Miku
SUBJECT: Happy new year, Miku!
Hey, heh! Happy new year, lass! You must have a round belly by now! Did you tell Len that you're bearing his child - though he knew it all along, you should at least confirm! Stupid you, stop ignoring him. The guy sulks a lot! He's acting like a nerd - home then school to job, then back to home and everything. Well, how's the baby? Is it a girl or boy?
FROM: Miku
TO: Len, Rin, Oliver_is_awesome
Happy new year! I wish you all a good starter for this year. I'm sorry if I don't respond to you, always busy.
FROM: Miku
TO: Oliver_is_awesome
SUBJECT: Re: Happy new year, Miku!
My baby is a human :) unlike you, you're a potato!
FROM: Len
TO: Miku
SUBJECT: Your old friend, Rei.
Hey, Miku. It's a cold mid-January today. I'm freezing, can't go out to buy my things, Oliver borrowed my coat, silly guy forgot to bring it back ASAP! Today's classes are canceled, snowfall is too large in volume, whatever the weatherman call it. So, I decided to send you a message. I'm so busy lately, sorry if I am not able to update you with my life here. By the way, other than your happy new year thing, I haven't received any other email from you. And you're not answering my questions regarding our child. Are you...ashamed because you got impregnated by your best friend? It's OK. Let's be honest. Because I'm not ashamed to be the father of your child. Well, I am the father of your child.
Oh. Before I forget, remember your childhood friend, Rei? We met yesterday. He was a pharmacist. I remembered when you tried talking to him during summertime - before college, the guy got amnesia and has forgotten and lost interest with old habits. The guy approached me today, asking where you are. He asked if you got a boy friend already or what... I just silenced him by saying you're my wife, even you're not. Yet.
Is that fine? I just hate the thought of someone hitting on my future wife. My kid won't want that either. Anyway, is the ring still with you? Remember my birthday gift last year?
FROM: Len
TO: Miku
SUBJECT: Chocolates, dear?
Happy Valentine's day! University is red and flowery, I want to gag. Everything's so girly, really? Chocolates are everywhere! I got few with me - well, I bought them because I refused the juniors' chocolates. I can't accept them, can I?
I am featured on the university's official newspaper. My group and I are leading a community service in the country side. I wish I can bring you with us, Rin and Oliver volunteered. It will be a little reunion for us - we're so busy lately. Rin is the new head nurse! Oliver is moving in a new apartment near university. He wants me to go with him. Generally, everything is fine here.
How are you? You're still ignoring me? Are you doing good? Don't work a lot, you might be having back pains now. I hope you stayed here so I can assist you. You're correct in assuming that I will quit school once I learned your condition. But I think I can handle studying and you at the same time. At least, I can monitor what you eat. I can buy your cravings. I will wash your clothes, or read The Little Prince to our child, press my ears against your tummy, feel the child kicking, hold your hand when you're feeling the pain... So, I really miss you, right? I'll be the happiest best friend, and father, and boy friend - 'though there's never an us, and husband - because I'll really be. You're mine, I hope I'm not possessive. I ... OK. This is lengthy now.
-DRAFT-
FROM: Miku
TO: Len
SUBJECT: Re: Chocolates, dear?
You're so...caring, thanks. I've been through a lot. Editing novels are lessened nowadays. Mikuo is panicking when he sees me reviewing a lot of submissions. I'm in good condition, Len. Avanna - Mikuo's wife - takes care of me. She's teaching me how I should carry a baby, to feed it and all. Their daughter, Ring, had the silvery teal hair like mine. I wish you're with me as well, I'd love to see you listen on my tummy. Kidding, so cliché and mushy.
FROM: Len
TO: Miku
SUBJECT: Honesty
What's more painful than being avoided, given that I am afraid of being abandoned? I am ignored, I feel like I'm a ghost. It's silly because sending you messages feels like I'm talking to myself. It's like hoping to find the end of rainbows. I don't know if I can still handle your treatment. You're so far. I can't reach you. Are you somewhere behind the screen? Why are you doing this? It hurts me. What do I lack? What did I do to deserve this? We both know that what you're reading now are the things I can't say. So, please. It's an effort for me to write down all thoughts I'm holding back.
You're my best friend, we both know that. I shared my dreams and aspirations with you, and you did the same. We're like kidney pairs! It's hard to live alone without the other one. Am I the only one feeling this extreme longing? If you're thinking that I'm doing this because you have our child, that isn't the reason alone, I'm telling you - even if that night didn't happen and you left with or without saying good-bye, I'll message you as often as I do now. I haven't dropped an email for the past weeks, examinations piled up, but I want to remind you that I'm not giving up, until you reply, until you tell me how's our child, or tell me everything about your life there.
I'm being honest, Miku. I didn't know what I lose after the day we became distant. It killed me to see you ignore my presence, but I know that the memory of us in my room is a bit embarrassing. But I'm not embarrassed. Because I gave myself to a person who will not leave me. I'm still holding on your promise that summer night, Miku. I still believe in you. Please. Even just a hello. Just a hello will do. Stop killing me. Fine, I lose.
And since this is supposed to be about honesty, I'm going to tell you the truth. I wasn't as drunk as you were that night. You may feel uncomfortable reading this but... You pulled me to you when I was about get up, and you told me that you love me. You kissed me, it was a chaste one, and that was my first kiss. I felt like I'm on the cloud nine when you did that, it's an amazing feeling - your lips on my lips. (No, I'm not a pervert. I'm describing what I really felt that night.) Then you pulled away, telling me that you love me but you were afraid. You were afraid because you kept on hurting people you love. Listen to me, if you were afraid because that incident in your childhood, forget it. It wasn't your fault. So, I cut your litany about hurting people, by kissing you again...and we did that. I'm sorry. I should've controlled myself that night. I did that because I want to be honest to you - to show you what I really feel.
FROM: Miku
TO: Rin
SUBJECT: I miss your oranges
Hi, Rin. How's your zombie life? I miss you. Winter's about to end. I miss the smell of your oranges in the morning.
FROM: Miku
TO: Oliver_is_awesome
SUBJECT: Sywhwusiaioa!
Oliii! Len is creepy! He's a rapist! Miss you.
FROM: Oliver_is_awesome
TO: Rin, Len
SUBJECT: You won't believe me!
I RECEIVED A BLOODY EMAIL FROM THE LASS OUT THERE IN LONDON! DID SHE TELL YOU SHE MISSED YOU?
FROM: Rin
TO: Oliver_is_awesome, Len
SUBJECT: Re: You won't believe me!
OH YES! SHE SAID SHE MISSED MY ORANGES!
FROM: Len
TO: Rin, Oliver_is_awesome
SUBJECT: Re: You won't believe me!
No. She ignores all my messages.
FROM: Rin
TO: Oliver_is_awesome, Len
SUBJECT: Re: You won't believe me!
Oh, Lenny. Is there something wrong between you and Miku? You want me to talk to her?
FROM: Rin
TO: Miku
SUBJECT: Mysterious thing
OHMYGOODNESSOHMYGOSHGRACIOUSOLYMPUS! YOUR MOM AND DAD CAME BACK HERE AFTER VISITING THERE! WHAT ARE THEY SAYING THAT THIS MONTH IS YOUR DUE? DUE WHAT? YOU'RE PREGNANT ALL THE TIME AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME!? ARE YOU SERIOUS!?
FROM: Miku
TO: Oliver_is_awesome, Rin, Len
SUBJECT: What's wrong with you?
It's been a while. I'm here for almost a year. Well, few months to go then I'll celebrate my anniversary here. My job is cool, I enjoy it here so much. My cousin and his wife are nice people, I feel home. Of course, no one can replace mom and dad, and you guys. I'm busy because the company liked the draft of a story I presented to them, so I'm working for the (hopefully) the next bestselling book you'll see on bookstores. Just to clarify your weird emails - no, I'm not pregnant.
FROM: Oliver_is_awesome
TO: Miku
SUBJECT: Kick my ass.
You're such a liar!l?! Are you killing Len?!
FROM: Rin
TO: Miku
SUBJECT: Re: What's wrong with you?
I'm glad to hear you're doing absolutely fine there! Me too, quite tiring than usual but not as tiring as it used to be. Whoa, I confused myself. Really? I'm going to wait for your book. Write me on the dedication so the world will know that you have such wonderful and beautiful best friend! Regarding the preggy-thing, are you sure? Oliver just told us that you really were. But he refused to tell who the father is. And to think, your weird dislike of my oranges and your frequent vomiting somewhat justify the thing called morning sickness so I'm not sure if I will believe what you just declared now. Don't take my email last month negatively. I'm just worried about you, and disappointed because you didn't tell me, that's all.
FROM: Miku
TO: Oliver_is_awesome
SUBJECT: Re: Kick my ass.
I don't care. I won't stress myself with you. You're a broken promiser. Rin learned my condition from my parents. You confirmed it! I hate you. And Len is distracted thinking of me.
FROM: Len
TO: Miku
SUBJECT: Re: What's wrong with you?
Oh, is that so? I'm sorry. I'm not ready to be a father anyway.
FROM: Oliver_is_awesome
TO: Miku
SUBJECT: Re: Kick my ass.
The guy was flooding his baby blankets with tears! You have no idea how many baby gloves and hats he brought! He's being dreamy about your child! Guess what now? He's not believing me that you are about to gave birth this month! You're crazy, Miku! You're crazy?!
FROM: Miku
TO: Oliver_is_awesome
SUBJECT: This is Avanna
Hi! This is Avanna. I'm Mikuo's wife - Mikuo is Miku's cousin. Just want to the tell you that my husband brought her to the hospital because the baby is coming! Let's pray for her safe delivery, she's in already. So, I know your arrangements, and that's silly. Miku is so stubborn - she refuses to tell her husband the truth and to you, guys. When she says she's busy, she mean it. But don't worry, she never overworked, she always does Len's advice. I'll be attaching here a photo of Miku's seven month child, show it to her husband. The baby is a boy. Please, pretend I didn't send this, I'll delete this message so please don't reply via same message.
:File attachment:
FROM: Oliver_is_awesome
TO: Len
SUBJECT: You're a dad!
Bro! Miku's givin' birth to tha' child today! She's really pregnant, stop mopping! Her cousin's wife sent us a photo of the lass on her seventh month! I don't know, this is just an ultrasound photo but the child is really cute! Congrats, let's pray for her safety!
:File attachment:
FROM: Len
TO: Miku
SUBJECT: I will never hate you
Oh my goodness. Will you please stop lying! How are you? I know you're giving birth now, I'm not there. I don't know if you'll read this. Take your deep breaths and push the baby out. If I'm with you, I'll hold your hand, I don't care if you break my fingers. I'll hold your hand tight so I'll be with you when you bring our child in the world. I'm crying. I should be there. I don't know, Miku. I'm feeling so giddy! I'm worrying about you. Please be safe.
FROM: Len
TO: Miku
SUBJECT: 24hr
I'm restless for the whole day! How are you? Did you collapse after giving birth? Are you fine now? How did the delivery go? I know that it is painful and brings you close to death, but i spent the whole night praying that you and my child will be fine. Is it a normal delivery or a caesarean? How's the babe? Have you heard his first cry? Or you passed out before you see him? Does he look like me or you? Take time resting! Ask someone to watch over our child and you, in my place. I want to attend my responsibility to you and the baby, I have a week off to school, anyway.
FROM: Len
TO: Miku
SUBJECT: Flight canceled
I failed to catch the booking for the week! I'm sorry! I tried my best to find another way to get there but nothing happened! I'm depressed. I can't see you and my child. I'm really sorry. I really am. I have the child's clothes I bought since December and I thought I'll be able to put it on our child. My plans are ruined. What am I going to do with my vacant week? Can we video chat? I miss you.
FROM: Len
TO: Miku
SUBJECT: He's a month old already!
Hey! I'm disappointed because I'm unable to ask how are you doing. It's a month already and you still don't reply. I know being a mother takes a lot of your time. Be sure to breastfeed my boy, and never ever feed him in public, please. It will be healthy if you'll let the sunlight shower the kid in early morning, when the sun isn't scorching yet. Organize your baby things, the bottles and everything, don't mix it up with the normal dishes. Sterilize his things before using. Cloth him simply, don't try to dress him like he's a doll. Hold him with a care, shall I send you a video how to handle the kid in your arm? I hope he's not crying a lot so you can have enough sleep.
About my life here, I'm doing good. Things became hectic in schedule, that's why I hadn't sent you a message. But I was always looking whether you write me something in return, but... :)
P.S. I'm more motivated to finish my study soon because the two of you are waiting for me. Tell my little angel that dad will be delayed getting there, okay?
"Miku?"
Miku opened her eyes and sat straight. She fell asleep leaning against the wall while watching her child peacefully sleeping in the crib. Her child wasn't easy to handle because he cries so soft, and when the child does, he's like cutting his breathing process. Miku was nervous every time the child wails, so she decided to watch over him keenly. She was never leaving the child's side.
"Mikuo, what are you up to?" Miku rubbed her eyes and leaned forward to the crib, her tired eyes lowered to gaze on her sleeping boy. It's two in the morning, cold and quiet. She spaced out by staring at her son. He's so fair, he got his father's complexion - a smile tugged the exhausted tealette's lips, looking to her child reminded of her...ah, husband? Len called her his wife, right?
"You're restless. Come on, sleep. I'll take care of Lui," he pulled up his sleepy cousin and settled her on her bed, and he took her place beside the crib.
"Thanks, Mikuo." Miku slumped on her bed, letting the dreamland took her in completely. Mikuo watched her momentarily and turned to the sleeping kid. He opened the book he was holding and began reading softly next to the baby boy,
"Once when I was six years old, I saw a magnificent picture in a book, called 'True Stories from Nature' about the primeval forest. It was a picture of a boa constrictor..."
Miku continued her tough life as a full time writer and mother, working like a robot. Sometimes, she goes to work with her hair unclipped as her child, Lui, was straddled against her. When she's in her office, proofreading and reviewing the works submitted to her, Lui was on his crib, tearing the books surrounding him. His mother never had known what toy should she give to her son, so she ended up buying children's book. But what did Lui know about reading when he's just almost a year old?
Lui was laughing, crying -but unlike his infant's way-, cooing and murmuring and shouting incoherent words. Miku was so excited and yet, clueless how she would teach her child, but then, he was able to learn to say 'mama' and 'dada'. When the kid began to stand, Miku trusted Avanna to look after her son, letting him play with Avanna's two year old daughter, Ring. Lui's blond hair that he inherited from his father, seemed like the daffodils blooming amidst of spring. He looked like a daffodil attempting to stand during Sunday mornings, when Miku was off duty.
Len sends messages ceaselessly, even Miku ignores all of it. He's close to his graduation - two years is quick. Miku buys Lui drawing materials for her boy. Like any other kid, Lui grabs everything and scribbles everything. She gets worried though, because as months pass by, Lui never speaks a word other than mama and dada. One time, Mikuo told her to see a doctor to check Lui's condition, but Miku refused and told him that children have different rate on their development. On the other hand, Len conditions himself that Miku's way of ignoring him is just her way for him to achieve his life goals. Still desperate to see his child because the kid is a year old today, he sent her another email.
FROM: Len
TO: Miku
SUBJECT: Happy birthday to my son!
Happy birthday, my little boy! I hope your mom will read this to you. I'm so sorry I can't be there to celebrate your first birthday. I'm sorry because I am not the one who choose your cake. I'm sorry because I am not the one to greet you first in the morning. I'm sorry because I can't give you my gift personally. I'm sorry if I'm not the one who organized your birthday party. Your dad really wants to do all this, poor thing...I can't. Your mother wants me to study, eh? You might be thinking that I'm the most dumbest father that ever lived. Well, dad can't blame you. I am. Dad is a failure, isn't he?
Dad wasn't the first one to hold you in his arms. Dad wasn't the one to change your diapers and rock you to sleep. Dad wasn't the one assisting you to sit, stand and walk. I wasn't the one who pulled you up when you stumbled on your first attempt to walk or run. I wasn't the one who took care of you when mom was out for work. I wasn't the one who cooked mom her breakfast when she woke up late. I wasn't the one to play with you in bath. I wasn't able to choose your godparents on your christening. I wasn't the one who chose your name. Dad didn't know your name. I'm so sorry if I fail your expectations, my son.
Be healthy! Don't stress your mother much! I don't want to see her wrinkled and grumpy once I graduate, okay? I hope to see you soon. Hugs and kisses from the dumbest father ever, yet the coolest.
To my woman, my life, Miku. I think I'll message you rarely from now on. This is a hard decision for me, I'm serious. I think of it all the while before telling you what I have in mind now, but I finally decided. I'll tell your parents the truth about our child. I'll tell my parents too. Then, I'll focus on my studies more, and will message you and my son on special occasions. You're both important to me, I can't endure this silence anymore. For once, you hide the truth to me. You broke me when you denied you're bearing my child. But now, I'm over that. And... I just one to tell you something I failed to show and say. These are one of my favorite lines from the book you were reading when we first met. These are the feelings i cant let you feel because my dreams show that the people to whom I feel this, walk away. These are the words I didn't tell you that night we made our fantastic, heaven sent, little baby boy - and that's the only mistake I made that night. I should've said it back.
Of course, I love you. It is my fault that you have not known it all the while. (Antoine de Saint-Exupéry)
Adieu for a while. Always remember that I love the two of you. I love you, I'm no longer afraid. So stop running away. I'm tired but I'll never let you go.
That night, Miku wanted to reply. Her fingers rested on the keys of her laptop as she bit her lower lip in deep thinking. As she read his message on her dim room, Lui lying on her bed, her heart felt a breakdown as Len apologized for not being with their son. Earlier that day, she was merry. They were. She forgot that Len was also there, celebrating their son's birthday. She forgot that he cared a lot for them. But she remembered through his words that she deprived him all of those moments.
Miku turned on the lights as she carried her laptop with her. She would do him a favor. The laptop was left on her bedside table as it started recording a video. Miku got up with the sleeping blond toddler on her arms. Lui was sleeping sound as Miku carefully brought him with her so the camera would see them. She would be honest, again.
"Hi, Len. You see this angel with me? He's your son. - Hey baby, say hi to your dad. - thank you for a wonderful message. Please, don't be sorry. Lui will not blame you. I won't. Listen, you missed your fatherhood to our baby, but that doesn't mean that will be forever. We'll be waiting for you. Len, this is Lui. - Lui, that is dad. You look like him, see. - Thanks for everything. I'm sorry for being mean. All your messages mean a lot to me. And, I... I lo-
I loathe Oliver for spilling my secret. Good night, Lui is sleeping. - my dear daffodil missed the chance to see dad!- ."
Miku brought her son back on their bed as she sent the email. She failed again. This time, she failed to tell him that he mattered a lot. What's stopping her to say she loves him? She's clueless.
Autumn. It is the season of death for Miku. Everything is withering. Years ago, Miku never thought that there is beauty in losing vital parts. However, there's a part of her she won't risk to lose. It is someone so dear to her, it someone who is a part of her life. And she won't lose him, she won't give him up the way the maple leaves fall. She won't. She can't.
The tealette occupied a seat along the hall, restless. Avanna, Mikuo and Ring was with her, patiently waiting for a doctor to come out. Her four year old son was trembling in cold whilst he was burning in high fever. The kid had seizures on their way to hospital, and Miku couldn't stop crying and begging Mikuo to drive faster-albeit he's driving 60kph already. She was panic stricken when Lui rolled his eyes, his irises were not seen. For the first time, Miku understood how worried her mom whenever she was sick. It's like it's your own life being at risk.
"Excuse me. Who among you is Lui Hatsune's guardian?"
"I am his mother." Miku quickly approached the doctor who came from the emergency room. The doctor smiled at her - she was worried, how can he smile?! - and introduced himself.
"I am doctor Leon, and Lui was just suffering from a terrible high fever. Seizures were gone and we transferred him to a room. We'll send nurses to monitor your child and make further examination to confirm it's just fever and nothing more serious. Did he eat or drink something?"
"No, no. He just went through the rain yesterday. That's all."
"Okay. I'll talk to you again, Ms. Hatsune."
The Hatsunes sighed in relief as Mikuo and his family left to find Lui's room. Meanwhile, Miku went to the chapel to pray for her son. Quietly, she prayed that it wasn't anything serious that got into her son. Her interlocked fingers tighten as she insisted that her son doesn't deserve any illness - just give it to her instead.
Lui was so special. Miku believed that her son wasn't a mute-just because he wasn't speaking doesn't mean he is, even he was already four. He could say mom but that's what all he says. Avanna, Mikuo, and Ring noticed him only when he tugged on their shirts. He wasn't playful, howbeit he's lively. The kid was a shrinking violet, choosing to play with his coloring materials and read his books. Miku wasn't sure if her child could read or he was just pretending that he could read - the way her child turned the pages was deceiving.
Miku stood and turned around, wiping her tears along the process, only to bump to someone. She stumbled few steps backward as the man murmured an apology. Miku continued to walk again - this time paying attention where is she going, locating the elevator because Mikuo messaged her that they were on the third floor, third room. She pressed the button and waited for the elevator door to open.
The doors slides away from each other as people got out of the elevator. Miku remained on her position, as she stared on the person left inside the elevator. Cerulean eyes, flaxen hair. When was the last time she saw this person?
"Miku?"
"Rin?"
The tealette rushed inside and hugged the blonde tightly. They didn't let go until they heard the doors close behind them. Sobbing, Rin hugged her briefly as the tealette pressed the number three. Miku interviewed Rin since when she worked in London, and the blonde told how her life was for all the four years she had gone their city. Just then, Miku asked Rin how was Len, and the blonde told her that Len was working in that hospital too, just a month ago. Miku felt her heart jump out of her chest learning that there was a little possibility that they may meet. Miku decided to tell Rin that she had a child. Rin was shocked and bugged Miku to know who's the father.
"Secret." Miku laughed as they entered the said room where her son was. Miku entered the room to see Lui sleeping peacefully on the hospital bed, a blond doctor was sitting by her son's side, holding the child's hand in between his bigger palms, tears dropping on the child's hand.
"Oh! Why is doctor Kagamine crying!?" Rin laughed as she waved a hand to Len, dragging a wide-eyed tealette with her. "Len, look?! Miku's here! Is that her son? Wow. He's so cute. What happened?" The bubbly blonde knows none whatever is going on. Len gently laid the child's hand on his side and kissed the top of the kid's head. Rin just raised a brow in skepticism as he walked towards Miku and hugged the tealette tightly.
Hesitant at first, but she returned the blond's embrace as he sniffed and murmured something against her ears. "Next time, don't let him bath under the rain." When he pulled away, he kissed her atop of her head and wiped his tears. They faced their audience, Mikuo and Avanna were smiling; Rin was scrunching her face.
"What's going on? Len. Check the kid. You're too dramatic." Rin shrugged and took the kid's temperature instead of watching Len's unreal drama.
"Miku, Lui looked a lot like him." Avanna commented as she pulled away her husband despite Mikuo's protest that he wanted to meet Lui's father. Rin's widened eyes enlarged more - if possible as she watched the three left, leaving Len, Miku and her.
"Wait," Rin raised a hand, trying to guess what's happening. "Are those two serious? Are they implying that you ... the two of you... were the parents of this," she pointed to the sleeping kid. "Adorable cute being!?"
Miku's face reddened as Len held her hand and proudly said yes. Rin began pushing Len away from her but he wouldn't let go of Miku's arms. Rin gave up separating them as she exasperatedly yelled that Len wasn't capable of doing something to his - their - best friend.
"That's half an accident," Len seriously explained. "But I don't regret, Rin. I don't. Let me spend this short time with my son and his mother, please?"
When Rin left, Miku stared at Len's visage as he was mesmerized with their son. A smile was painted on his lips as he held the child's hand.
What's his favorite color? What's his favorite food? Cartoon character? Superhero? What will he be when he grow up? Is he fond of reading? Is he noisy? What's his first word? Can he write his name? Can he count one to hundred? Does he asked you for a bike? - Len's questions were endless as the two of them stare at the child, Len assessing his child's likes and abilities. He hoped that he had something to teach the child so they would not have an awkward bonding once he woke up.
"Len, he can't talk yet." She told him. He looked at her with a piercing gaze. "But he calls me mom." Her guy smiled to her and held her hand.
"I still love him even he won't call me dad yet. Or even if doesn't know my name. He's our child. Your child. Mine, as well." He looked back to their son, then to her. "I love you,"
Miku froze. He said it. She parted her lips to say something, but she just fidgeted under against his stare - because she couldn't voice out that he matters. "I... I... I-" Len leaned and stole a kiss from her, smirking and telling her that he knew she loves him.
"You already told me," he said, forcing her head to rest against his chest.
"It's my fault you have not known it all the while." Miku mumbled and wrapped her arms around him.
Autumn. It was a season of death for Miku. It was the season that brought them back together, Len mused. It's a beautiful Sunday morning as the little family went out to have a stroll in the city, to buy Lui something for his upcoming birthday. Just like the way gravity pulled down the leaves of a maple tree, the red strings of fate was wrapped tight around their ankles, getting them back together. It's just funny that she would have a perfect husband and a forever best friend. She looked at his arm around her as they followed the running Lui. Len smiled down at her and whispered, "let's get married." Miku, speechless due to surprise, was called by Lui.
"Mom!" - that's the only word he can say. "Dad! Buy me this book, please?"
Miku and Len stared at Lui, couldn't believe that the child could speak as fluent as they never imagined.
× Finis ×
A/N: I adopted the letter-like way of telling a story from Where Rainbows End and used the AU starring Len and Miku as Lui's parents (not sure, I think I saw it from hikusa). Anyone who noticed that Lui's inability to talk resembles Albert Einstein's condition? Okay. I'm sleepy, didn't proofread. I'm so sorry.
The end. *waves a goodbye to my haters because this is so cliché*