Author's note: I would like to thank everyone for the awesome reviews. I had every intention of updating earlier today, but I haven't been feeling well, so my creativity was nill. Hopefully, this chapter answers some of everyone's questions. Anytime anyone has any questions, just ask, and I will do my best to answer them within the story. Please enjoy this next chapter.
Casey rolled onto her side, glancing at the alarm clock sleepily. Noticing she had less than an hour and a half before she had to be in court, she let out a startled gasp, and sat up quickly. "God, I'm going to be so late," she murmured, rubbing her temple in an effort to force her eyes to stay open.
Olivia sat up with her, smiling. "Late?" she asked, checking the time on her phone. "Casey, by my count, you have at least forty five minutes to get dressed and ready to go. And that's including the fact that you always insist on getting to work at least thirty minutes early." She kissed the back of Casey's neck softly. "You'll be fine," she assured the attorney.
"Fine," Casey echoed, checking the clock once more, for reasons even she didn't understand.
Sensing something was wrong, Olivia wrapped one arm around her carefully. "What's going on with you? This isn't merely because of the time, is it?"
"It's nothing," Casey murmured. But she was overcome with a maddening desire to spill her heart out, though she knew how foolish it could be. And she knew she couldn't lie to Olivia for long. The older woman was like a human lie detector. Taking a deep breath, the redhead allowed everything to spill out before she could rethink it. "I don't understand any of this," she admitted. "You say I'm different than everyone else, and that you won't abandon me. I believe you...I guess. But I don't understand what makes me different. Am I supposed to believe you've never said those things to anyone else?"
Olivia didn't respond right away. After a long pause, she took a deep breath, shaking her head. "I don't say things that I don't mean," she replied. "I won't deny that I have told other people that I wouldn't leave them. Everyone says that at one point in a true relationship. But as for saying it to someone who thought they were a one night stand, no, I have never said that to anyone like that. I always make it perfectly clear whether someone is a one night stand or not. I don't enter into things without a full understanding of where they are headed."
"I believe you," Casey answered quietly. In her heart of hearts, she truly did. She had known Olivia long enough to know that she was as honest and caring as anyone could possibly be. But she couldn't quell the nerves within her. She couldn't quantify her fears, but she was overwhelmed with, what? Self doubt? Fears of abandonment? They were fears she couldn't explain, and knew she shouldn't have, but she also knew that she desperately needed an explanation. Sitting up, the redhead sighed. "But why me?" she asked again. "What makes me different than everyone else? Why do you like me so much?"
"Casey," Olivia answered, reaching up to brush a stray red curl out of Casey's eyes. "Where is this coming from?" When Casey didn't answer, for fear of sounding like a lunatic, the brunette exhaled slowly. "What makes you different is the fact that we've known each other for twelve years. The day you showed up at that crime scene, I knew something was different about you. At first, I found it infuriating that you insisted on showing up and telling us how to do our jobs. But then, against all reason, I actually started to look forward to it. There came a time when you would show up, and I would be happy to see you. As we began to develop a friendship, I noticed new things about you. I went from finding you a nuisance to being unable to stop staring at you, unable to stop thinking about how beautiful you were, how brilliant, how funny. Throughout the years, every time you spoke of some new man you were with, I hated him on principle, and I was eventually forced to realize it was because he had the one thing I didn't: your affection. That's what makes you different. You're different because we've had twelve years, and our relationship has progressed through every natural stage." Olivia sighed, pausing to catch her breath. "I like you because of everything you are: a great friend, an amazing attorney, and now, an incredible lover. I cannot ever tell you why I love you, because love doesn't work that way. But I like you because you're different, and because my heart won't let me ignore its pull towards a certain redhead I know."
As Olivia concluded her monologue, Casey bit her lip to fight the tears that had suddenly formed in her emerald eyes. "Wow," she whispered. It was such a sentimental, heartfelt response that she was unable to formulate anything that resembled a proper reply. Finally, she managed what she hoped was as perfect a response as Olivia's. "I never thought about it like that before," she admitted. "When I was first assigned to the Special Victims Unit, I wanted to show my worth. I would be lying if I didn't admit that, at least some of the times I showed up at your crime scenes, I wanted to show off, to prove that I was worthy of being there. Whenever you scolded me for being there, I was overcome with strange emotions. I should have been angry and determined to stay even more, but part of me was also kind of hurt. I was sad that you didn't want me around, though I couldn't explain why. You mentioned that every time I was with another man, you felt something you hadn't yet labeled as jealousy." Casey bit her lip even harder, until she tasted blood. "I was forced into the same quagmire. Every time I heard rumors about your sexual prowess, or your past relationships, I was furious, and wished everyone would focus on work, instead of stupid rumors. The first time that I can remember realizing it was more than simple anger was the night you rescued me after Milan Zergin beat me in my office. We were in the hospital, and when you finally had to leave to return to work, I was overcome with sadness. I wondered what would happen if I begged you to stay. And that night, I dreamed about the perfect relationship, about having a true prince charming. But it wasn't any man in my dream...it was you."
Olivia listened intently, barely breathing throughout the entire monologue. "What a crazy relationship we've had. All this time, wanting each other, but avoiding our feelings for fear of what they really meant." She fell silent for several moments, wrapping her arms once more around Casey. Casey carefully laid her head on the older woman's chest, and Olivia smiled, kissing the top of her head, stroking her hair affectionately. "Does that answer your questions?" she asked.
Casey nodded. "Mhm," she mumbled. "But hey, you could have made a move sooner," she added, smirking.
"I should have," Olivia answered, her strong fingers working their way through Casey's hair. "Believe me, if I could have done this months, even years sooner, I would have. But I had to wait for my opportunity, and last night was a matter of my heart winning over my head. Those two events occurring in tandem are as rare as the Earth suddenly changing its rotation patterns."
Casey smiled softly at the analogy. All she wanted was to fall asleep with Olivia. She wasn't one to even consider skipping work, but suddenly, the thought was all too appealing. Another question popping into her mind, Casey voiced it carefully. "Olivia?" she asked. "What, if anything, does this make us? Where do we stand?"
"I'm not sure," Olivia answered, her fingers pausing for a moment. "We need to take things slowly."
"We already slept together. I'm not sure how slowly things can go now," Casey responded.
"That is very true," Olivia conceded, helping Casey sit up again. She kissed the younger woman gently. "But I'm not going to let things fall apart after so many years of waiting for us to get this far. I'm not going to ask you to do anything too quickly. Beyond that, we have to contend with the consequences of everything that has happened. I'm not saying we disclose right this instant, because that's a major step. But the fact that we've already slept together shouldn't mean we jump to things too quickly. Too much, too fast is a recipe for disaster. I'm not going to lose you now that I finally have you. So, for now, let's just see where things take us, okay? I want to treat you the way you deserve. I don't want to enter a relationship right away, until you are sure that that's what you want."
"But that is what I want," Casey answered automatically. In her heart, she knew it was true.
Olivia shook her head. "Just give it time, alright? You may decide that you don't want me like that, eventually. Please, Casey. I don't want to jeopardize things. Not now. I'm going to earn your affection, and your trust. I'm going to prove to you that you don't have anything to worry about. I want to show you why you're different." She kissed the top of Casey's head again. "Let me show you what you mean to me, and to my life," she whispered.
Casey, knowing it was useless to argue, and finding herself intrigued by the idea of being "earned," took a deep breath, exhaling slowly. "As you wish," she agreed finally. She sat up once more, the sheet wrapped around her naked body. They had wasted a good fifteen minutes of time, leaving her only thirty minutes to get ready for work, but it was fully worth it. "I'm going to climb into the shower," she murmured. "Do you want to join?"
Olivia shook her head. "I need to head home and change," she answered. Casey's face must have reflected her disappointment, because Olivia quickly amended her statement. "I'll stop by the office for dinner," she added, standing up and walking over to where the younger woman stood. Wrapping her arms around Casey's neck, Olivia kissed her passionately. "I'll see you later," she whispered. "I've already delayed your primping time. Good luck in court."
Casey smiled softly. "Good luck to you too," she murmured, though she didn't know what Olivia had planned for the day. And as Olivia left, Casey waited for the sound of the front door closing, before untangling herself from the sheet, turning the shower water to the hottest setting she could handle, and climbing in.
As she combed her favorite shampoo through her hair, the redhead allowed the memories of the previous night and that morning to flood her mind like a rapid picture show. If not for the tiny hickey upon her neck, she wouldn't have believed that any of it had even happened. It was better than any dream she had ever had. Part of her was disappointed that Olivia had refused to put a label on their relationship, but she also fully understood. If Olivia had done so, it would have been completely out of her character, and Casey would have been concerned. Beyond that, though, Casey also knew that, if they had any hope of succeeding, they had to be careful. And she would be lying to herself if she tried to convince herself that she didn't relish the idea of being pampered. But for now, she had a shower to take and a job to do. Their jobs had brought them together; they couldn't possibly tear them apart. If only dinner time would come as quickly as the bliss had ended.